The Rules of Persuasion

Umino Iruka liked to consider himself as a pretty upbeat person. He didn't judge others by their opinions, or their beliefs, and he was an all around okay guy. However, when a perverted jounin by the name of Hatake Kakashi started to push his buttons, could Iruka really be held responsible for his horrible death?

No, Iruka had not murdered the infamous Sharingan user, but he was close to it. Kakashi just had to take one more step, one more wrong move, and it would be over.

"Come on, Iruka! Just read one paragraph of it!"

No, Kakashi. No, I won't. Please do not beg. I won't be reduced to the desperations that you take to find romance. I will not read Icha Icha Tactics.

No. Don't give me the puppy eyes. They won't work. It's useless, Kakashi. I am a responsible academy sensei, who, like yourself, as an image to uphold. I, so far, unlike yourself, have been doing an excellent job of upholding said image.

Yes, that's right, Kakashi. Your puppy dog eyes will not work on me. Neither will threats, so you can kindly remove the kunai from it's hovering position near my throat.

You seem to realize that threatening is cruel, and just plain low; I respect that. I don't respect much about the way you act, so take what little dignity you have left and go away.

Intimidation seems to be your best bet, you decide. Well, intimidation may work on those blubbering fan girls that follow you around everywhere you go, but I am no fan girl. I am Umino Iruka, and you will not intimidate me.

I don't understand your obsession with these novels, Hatake Kakashi. They seem downright vulgar at first glance. I could just as easily go read porn. That author isn't the greatest role model, as well. Yet you idolize him. I wouldn't be surprised if I entered your humble abode one fine spring day to find a shrine dedicated to the man in a corner of your living room.

Yes, that was an insult, Kakashi. Deal with it.

No, insulting will not affect me, and neither shall dares.

I don't know what the hell you think you're doing right now, Kakashi, but it won't work. The way your fingers are softly being dragged down my left arm. The way you move closer with that suave smirk on your lips. Wait, your lips…When did you remove the mask? Now your lips are whispering against my neck, and your hands are roaming freely on my back. No, my own lips did not just emit that gasp, Kakashi, you are imagining it. This is not working. This will never work. This is… this…

Where did my shirt go? I am a chuunin, and although not as high a rank as yourself, a jounin, I should not be this distracted. I… no! No… please… don't… don't stop.

Don't stop?

Yes, don't stop.

You're nibbling on my ear now, Kakashi, and I can feel my own teeth nibble on yours. It's as if they have a mind of their own.

I'm not surprised when your body presses mine firmly against my bedroom wall. When our hips start grinding together, and the tightness in my pants gets unbearable. The room is hot now, and of all things I could be concentrating on, I'm concentrating on our joined hands. They're held high above our heads and now you're whispering to me seductively to stop moving.

For you, Kakashi, I will stop moving. If you say that you can make it good, I will believe you. If you say that you can make me scream your name tenfold, then I will let you. I want to scream your name in the throws of ecstasy that I know are waiting for us.

Now we're on the bed, both as bare as the day we were born, and you're asking me if this is my first time. No, Kakashi, I am no virgin to this. I am, however, a virgin to these feelings you are dealing to me. These sweaty palms, these uncontrollable jerks of my hips… How are you doing this?

I have never been with anyone who could do the things you are doing to me right now. Who could add just the right amount of pressure here, and just the right amount of softness there. It's as if my whole body is singing to you, Kakashi. It's begging for you to take me.

So, I let you. I let you take me. It barely crosses my mind that you are cleverly reciting lines of your favourite novel into my ears. You are whispering them as if they are your own words, and they only serve to make sounds I have never heard myself make before.

I faintly remember, as I drift off to sleep, The Rules of Persuasion. It was a childhood joke between all of the shinobi when I was ten years old. The Rules of Persuasion went as follows:

1. Beg

2. Pout

3. Threaten

4. Intimidate

5. Insult

6. Dare

7. Lust

It's when I dream, though, that I remember that you yourself created The Rules of Persuasion. You wrote them down first, and you tried them first.

I have used them many times, and have always succeeded by number four.

You, Kakashi, you didn't follow these rules correctly. It would seem that you purposely hurried through the first six, to get to the famous number seven. Lucky seven, as you like to call it.

Lucky seven, indeed.

Kakashi smiled softly as he stared at his sleeping lover. He whispered, "That was page twelve, Iruka… Only one hundred more to go in this book."

He hoped Iruka would refuse again tomorrow night.

A/N - Woohee. That was mildly smutty. Wow. That, folks, is about as smutty as I will get. And it's not depressing this time! -squees- I figure I owed you all because of Harsh Reality, so there you go. R&R!

I own nadda. Kishimoto-sempai owns basically everything up there, except for The Rules of Persuasion, which I gladly claim rights for. Wow, I could be the next Jiraiya-sempai! -cough- Yeah, right. I will never reach such levels of greatness.