Emily Fields reached the phone lying on her bedside table in the dark. She cheeked time and sighed loudly. It was the middle of the night but she could not fall asleep. Her mind was overwhelmed by her own thoughts. She was very confused, she did not know in what she should believe and who she should trust. Her dark eyes became wet and she was able to feel a bitter taste own tears flowing down her cheeks. She thought about the past few weeks being extremely intense and stressful. Since Alison came back to town Emily's life became way much harder. She could not breathe because of the lies in which she was forced to life together with her friends. With each passing day she choked even more. However, she knew she couldn't stop this internal agony either. She closed her eyes and sighed again. Brunette began to cry even more not dealing herself with this whole situation. She curled up and hugged her pillow.

She could not control her emotions. She felt as if her heart was split into two distinct halves, both desiring other people. One carved Alison Dilaurentis. The most beautiful girl in the school, her first love. Before Ali left town she could make brunette find herself the luckiest girl in the world, she was the only one who could make her truly happy. Emily on the other hand could reduce blonde's temper, with her the girl was calmer and gentler. They shared deep glances, they shared innocent kisses. With the disappearance of Alison brunette's heart has been torn on tens of millions of tiny pieces. It took her a while to bond them all together, but she never forgot her lost love. She tried and she couldn't. When she discovered with her friends that Ali is still alive she did not know how she feels about her. Despite all blonde's assurances, despite sharing another passionate kiss with her, Emily still did not know what she feels because the second half of her heart wanted another person. Person who didn't have a nice past with her first love.

And that person was Paige McCullers. Her and Em also did not have a happy begging. They competed with each other for the title of captain of the swim team and it was not pretty. Paige even tried to drown her opponent but mutual passion brought them closer. They fell in love and grown together. The both of them were ready to many sacrifices, they helped each other. Their relationship was one of the best things in Em's life. She knew she could count on her girlfriend, with her she forgot about unpleasant and sometimes still painful past. But Paige's overprotection became stronger than her good sense and she betrayed own girlfriend by telling the cops that Alison is alive. They broke up because Emily did not know if she could trust Paige again. She still does not know.

Before she glanced, the moon had gone and her room was pierced by bright rays of the rising sun. It was still really early but brunette needed a bath to recover. She got up lazily from the bed and headed to the bathroom. Emily looked in the mirror and saw her swollen eyes caused by sleepless night. She pulled off her pajamas and went into the shower. When she felt hot water flowing on her back she was better, but still not good enough. She was scared of this day and she couldn't help it. She washed her hair with strawberry shampoo and massaged her body to relax. After an hour, when her fingers slowly began to crease, she stopped the pourable water. She wrapped herself with a towel and combed her wet hair.

She went back to her bedroom and looked out through the window. No one was on the street yet, there was a complete silence. Em turned away and walked over to the closet. Brunette opened it and began to wonder what to wear. After a while she reached for the red checkered shirt, white T-shirt and black jeans. She headed to the bathroom again, where she dressed, dried her hair and brushed her teeth. Then she put make up on and she walked downstairs.

Brunette went into the kitchen and took a kettle. She flooded it with water and let it boil. In the meantime, she grabbed her favorite blue mug, she put it on the counter and waited a while. When her coffee was ready, she left the house with the cup and felt a little bit cold as she sat down on the porch. Wind was blowing her hair. She was exhausted and distressed. She took a sip of her hot drink and closed her eyes. She breathed deeply and tried to calm down. As she heard the sound of opening door and saw her mother, Emily said "Morning" and Pam Fields sat next to her.

They spent a few minutes in silence and then Emily asked

"What did you mean yesterday by telling me that Alison's story has some problems?".

Her mother looked at her and spoke

"I shouldn't talk to you about this but not all the fact agrees, there are many gaps and inconsistencies. Police began to wonder what really happened."

The girl looked straight ahead as she heard

"I know that you care about Ali but you can't protect her by harming yourself".

She knew she won't be able to keep this lie long. She wanted to tell Pam the whole truth but she was horrified because she could lose a lot. And it wasn't only her decision. Together with Hanna, Aria and Spencer they had to find out what Alison doesn't tell them before they could think of stopping everything.

She felt her eyes getting wet again so she got up and told her mother she should get going to school. She went home and decided to skip breakfast as she wasn't able to eat anything. She grabbed her stuff and walked toward her car. She went inside, fastened the seatbelts and drove away.

As soon as she arrived to her destination, she came out the car and quickly headed to the school. She went to her locker, grabbed books and left there unnecessary by now things. As she walked through the hallways she tried not to bump into one of her friends. She didn't want to talk about another problems caused by them all. She was sick of lying and the lies which she could not control. Em walked to the class and took her place. She hated History and as soon as the bell rang and teacher showed up, she sighed knowing that she will be bored.

As usual, she was unable to focus on the class. She wasn't understand why she supposed to learn about French in sixteenth century. The past was the past and it could not be changed. She needed to think of the future and how to make it better than it is now. The teacher looked at Emily noticing her distraction. The girl began to pretend to take notes and Mr. Ibarra went back to delivering his lecture. Brunette cheeked the time on her phone and literally started to count down the minutes to the bell.

When her wish was fulfilled, she ran out of the class first. She felt a kind of relief and moved ahead. She fell into some guy and dropped her books. When she get them all together, she walked fast to her locker and opened it. She was distracted and didn't notice when Sydney came up to her from the behind. The girl said "Hey" and Emily scared to death quickly shut the doors

"Geeze, are you trying to get me a heart attack?".

Sydney smirked and asked

"What is going on? You seem to be even more jumpy than ever"

"Rough night, not enough coffee" Emily replied.

"Well, I hope to see you at the practice" The girl said leaving brunette alone as she heard bell ring. After a while Em took her stuff and ran to the classes as she was already late.

"So, what are we going to do?" Aria asked Spencer as soon as they sat in their table for a lunch.

"We send Hanna to rehab and give Alison into A's hands" the girl replied sarcastically

"Spence, I'm serious"

"And you think I'm not?" she answered " Hanna stinks of the beer so much that it started to move on me"

Aria looked at the girl and sighed

"I can't take any more lies that Ali is trying to sell as" she said as she was really tired with past few weeks.

"Have you seen Emily today?" she asked trying to change the subject.

"No but I have chem lab with her later so I will keep you posted". They sat for a while in silence when they heard Alison walking toward them.

"Hey guys! What's up?" she said and sat next to them.

"We were just wondering where's Em. We haven't see her yet." Spence said.

"I'm sure she is fine. She's probably somewhere around the pool" Ali answered as she tried to calm the girls down but she immediately noticed their distance toward her. She had no idea what was going on. They looked at each other not saying anything and the period of awkward silence just began. Alison started to focusing on her friends behavior, she tried to see every detail that would tell her what is going on. As she knew that she failed she asked straight from the shoulder

"Did I miss something?"

"Most like we did" Spencer mumbled, loud enough to let the blond hear every word.

"What do you mean?"

Brunette moved her gaze to the ground, not being sure what to say. She had a headache caused by million thoughts walking around in her mind. Each was drowned out the previous and replaced by the next. Aria, knowing that she can't let the girl on the explosion filled with anger and regret, began slowly, choosing her words carefully.

"We didn't want to bring this up now since we're not here all and…"

"What the hell did you do in my backyard yesterday?!" Spencer blurted out interrupting Aria, she did not expected an honest answer though as they were talking to the master of the made up stories in the flesh. She just stared at the girl. She was ready to bet that the blonde will confront them and accuse of lack of trust and that stuff. Alison bit her bottom lip. In her eyes you could see the confusion, she didn't feel comfortable with current situation being pushed to the wall. She opened her mouth like she was trying to say something but in the last minute she hesitated. After a moment and contrary to the Spencer's assumptions she spoke calmly but a little bit like she would be scared

"I was going to tell you about this guys"

"And what? We supposed to believe in another lie?" You keep doing this but seem to forget that we are all in this together and there is no other way to stop A until we know the whole truth" Spencer said firmly but with a hint of annoyance in her voice. She waited for Alison to response as she was getting more and more mad at her friend.

"Look, I know there is a lot of things I didn't tell you, things you would like to know about. Frankly, I would like you to know them to, okay? But I'm not going to put you in any more danger since you've already done so much for me. I just need you to give me a little more time and try to trust me."

"My God! Can you even hear yourself? We are not your puppets anymore Ali. We are your friends. How we supposed to trust you if you don't trust us? As you said, we already have done enough for you and I don't know, I would really like to know why the hell this whole time we stand and back up your story instead of telling the truth for a change" Brunette blurted as she knew that convincing Alison to open up won't be the one of easiest things. She looked at Aria because her friend sat quietly since they started this entire conversation. She waited for any of the girls to speak up but as soon as she understood that she's not going to get what she expected, she slapped Aria in her arm and stood up saying

"Come on, let's get out of here"

"Where are you two going?" Alison asked. She was disappointed as she realized that it's not gonna be easy for her to still force the girls to do what she want since they grow much while she was gone. Blonde just never though she will be just left behind like that.

"You know what? We're done here. We really hoped that you changed just a little bit but apparently we were wrong. So call us when you finally realize that we are trustable enough." Spencer said being pissed off and together with Aria they went to the restroom leaving Alison completely alone.

The blonde sat there and bit her bottom lip. She didn't know what to do. She was torn. Sure, she wanted to trust the girls, but for what cost? She was aware that she did not deserve their help and she was grateful for everything they have done for her but she could not tell them the truth. She didn't want for them to share her past and had to fake own death to survive. She needed them and was afraid to admit it. She was afraid of showing weakness. But if she doesn't do want they want her to do she will lose them and she was afraid of that even more. She was afraid of being alone. As time flied and she was deepening in her own reflections she could think about one person. One person that wasn't there with her while she needed her the most. She was sitting and wondering where the hell was Emily now.

At the same time, Emily Fields stood before one of the school pool's startup posts. She was leaning forward and held black stopwatch in her hand. She observed Sydney, who was traversing distance again. The girl was defeating next meter definitely fast, however, even in her best form it lacked her a lot to catch up with Emily, before her arm injury. The girl still missed swimming but every day she was realizing that she should let go for her own health. Helping others with their technique and speed was something she enjoyed, she could feel that her connection with water, even if it wasn't very perceptible. As Sydney stepped out of the water when her fingers touched the pool wall, Emily stopped her stopwatch, looked at her the time her friend gained

"Not bad. Just try to focus more on inhaling and exhaling" she said. She saw Sydney smiled. The girl was really satisfied with her last results, she wanted to keep swimming even though she had discernible exhaustion in her eyes. "Doing another round or you're done for today?" Em asked crouching down,

"I think I'm gonna swim a little bit more, you know, try to beat your record" Sydney joked.

"You wish!" It's impossible" Emily laughed when she answered and as soon as she saw her friend started again she fired stopwatch. She followed work of her legs and arms. The girl was doing really well so she looked around. She really missed Paige as she was hoping to see her in here The view of her in the pool, her closeness, warmth and touch. Despite the fact that she tried to keep friendly relations with the girl, she felt a little uncomfortable in her company. She was used to them both together. It was like that from months. Emily and Paige. Paige and Emily. She had heard it so often that their break up was still surreal for her. Obviously her having feelings for ex-girlfriend was in the picture as she didn't see how to stop. She wanted to trust her again and every minute she was willing to give the girl second chance. If Paige wanted them back together, of course.

Hey guys! I really wanted to thank you all if you read it. It means a world to me. Also I'm sorry for any mistakes that I made in this story. English is not my language. I'm still learning it but I will try to do my best.