Author's Note: I don't own Mass effect and all that. And to be honest, I don't own the idea for this story. I owe this awesome inspiration to 'ladymadeofglass' at deviantart. She did a comic strip on Shepard and Garrus' reunion and it was so sweet I asked her if I could write a fanfiction about it. She said yes and here it is. I did, however, take creative license for how long they had been apart, sorry! If you can, please check out her piece titled 'Mass Effect: Shepard and Garrus reunion' at 'ladymadeofglass. deviantart .com' (without spaces) It is awesome! Enjoy!

What do you say to a man if you were dead?

I have thought the answer to that question a million times the first time I was dead. Returning from the grave a second time left me completely blank. It didn't help that he wasn't like any other man. Well, he wasn't a man in literal terms, but in my head it computes that way. Turian. Man. Boyfriend. Ohmygod -lover. Yeah. I'm still learning to think that without having my stomach explode in butterflies.

So what do you say?

The relays were fixed. People were returning to their homes. My lovely friend and ex-girlfriend, shadow-broker had finally managed to track him down. The Normandy had crashed and most of the crew had survived. The thought squeezed my heart as it always did.

Edi.

I had killed Edi. And an entire species. Well, synthetic species, but the Geth had become species none the less.

I'd weighed human life against synthetic and chosen my own kind.

What do you say to a man if you're a monster?

"You know you're just psyching yourself out, right?"

Lifting my green eyes on the monitor in front of me, I watched the Asari smile gently. It was the smile I got when she was humoring me. I frowned at her. "You realize the gravity of what I'm about to do? He's the first one I'm going to seek out."

"Well there is me."

"You found ME!"

"It's what I do," the Shadow Broker smirked before leaning back in her seat. "You know I'd rather have you here."

Guilt suffused through my skin and I glared at her. "Hey, who went and became broker-all-mighty while I was getting my insides turned to metal?"

Her gaiety dissipated in a flicker. "That's not fair."

Sighing heavily, I ran a hand through the long bangs of my red hair. "I'm sorry. I'm just…"

"Scared? You've defeated rogue specters, took down an ancient mind-warped army and defeated a universe wide threat." Liara leaned forward and met my gaze squarely. "Man up."

The corners of my mouth twitched as she crossed her arms and glared at me. "You know Liara…"

"You're a girl!" The Asari snarled and came out of her seat, her arms braced on the console as her eyes nearly took up the entire screen. "No more dodging Shepard. And no more lashing out at me because I'm an easy target. If you stay in that hospital any longer you'll be a worse bitch than Miranda."

Unable to hold my laughter, I widened my eyes scandalously. "Ms. T'soni! Such language."

"Yes, well, you're starting to make my teeth hurt." Frowning at me she fell back in her chair with a sigh. "What are you so scared of anyway? Did I not tell you he's been searching for you?"

"Only a thousand times," I rolled my eyes. "But if you recall I was missing a limb, several teeth and a good portion of my stomach."

She flinched. "Guess we all should be grateful you had a clone ready to harvest for parts."

Groaning, I let my head fall into my hands. "Please don't remind me Liara, I try and forget that every day."

"Miranda is rather handy."

"Liara!"

The Asari finally chuckled and smiled widely at me. "You're alive, Shepard. You're whole, if a bit scarred. There is nothing holding you back."

Except there was.

Me.

XXX

I stared at my PDA in shock, horror and growing fury. The most decorated Turian in the galaxy, right hand to the Primarch and recommended for counselor – was running a bar! On Omega!

Rubbing the throb in my temple, I glared down at the surveillance photos Liara had provided with her info. Leaning an elbow on the bar top he watched the dancer silhouetted against the flickering strobe. Even clad in civvies, he was intimidating. Mediating disputes and drinking with Aria.

Yeah, I grit my teeth. He'd been searching for me.

"Have you called him?"

With a grunt, I looked up at the screen and wishing for the hundredth time I could see her face to see if she was just teasing or not. "Really Tali? I finally manage to get a communication channel to Haestrom and you're interested in my love life?"

"Can you blame me! We've all been stranded without relays for years now! We got one message from Liara and just enough to tell us you were alive! Who else have you managed to contact?"

"Jack got through to me. She's been with a mobile fleet of the 5th Alliance Brigade. Liara managed to piggy back her comm to me before I left the hospital. She's trying everyone as the relays go up."

"I wish I could come see you Shepard. Things have been really crazy here lately."

Another twist in my gut. "Look Tali, I promised I'd come to you next after I finish on Omega, but I have to say this before I get there." My friend's purple helmet tilted in wonder and I ploughed on. "I'm sorry! I know you wanted the Geth to help you rebuild and that was the initial plan, but things got really complicated when I got to the beam in London. There was…it was…"

"Shepard, Shepard, stop." The Quarian shook her head, confusion clear in her body language. "What are you talking about?"

I took a deep breath. "The Geth went offline, right?"

"Yeah, but…"

"It was my fault."

The Quarian was silent for a moment. "Oh."

I knew how much Tali and wanted to rebuild her planet, how much the Geth would have helped.

"Shepard? I don't understand what you're saying, but that is not why I have been going crazy. Look, just go see Garrus and then comm me when he finally lets you go. We'll talk."

I didn't know what was worse, the relief that Tali didn't really understand the gravity of the decision I had made or the fear that she would hate me for making it. "Yeah."

"And smile, Shepard! You saved us too many times to apologize anymore. Go be happy." With a wave she was gone.

I glanced back down at the life my Turian seemed to have built for himself and here was headed to change it again.

XXX

When my feet landed on the metal grating of the space dock in Omega, I will admit, I wobbled. The biomechanical grafts still glitched once in a while. Occasionally, the new arm would snap out and smack some doctor who was unfortunate enough to be standing next to my hospital bed. But maybe my shaking legs were not my brain trying to rewire my nerves. Maybe they were just old fashioned nerves.

People pushed and scrambled past me as the immigration officer began to check paperwork. I had changed four transports before managing to get aboard the Agripa and that was only thanks for Liara's network. Like me, many of the passengers were making their first relay jump after the war. It was strange looking at people maneuver the future I had created. Stranger still, when people commented on how things had changed. Even after months of Liara's badgering the guilt would come back with crippling force.

"Miss?"

Head jerking around, I stared at the Batarian male frowning at me from behind the counter. He raised an eyebrow as I gawked at him in confusion.

He beckoned me closer and I frowned at him suspiciously. "You're holding up the line."

Heat diffusing through my cheeks, I smile apologetically at the Hanar vibrating impatiently behind me before rushing forward and handing him my ID.

"Commander Ja..." The officer's voice trailed off before he could finish as his many eyes snapped up to me with shock. "You're…is this…"

Clearing my throat, I leaned closer to the Batarian and offered him what I hoped was a pleasant smile. "I am. And this is. But I would appreciate a little discretion, if possible."

Eyes impossibly wide, he stamped my papers and slid one arm towards his assisting officer, blindly catching the female turian's wrist. "Escort the lady to Madam Aria."

"Wha…but I'm in the middle of…"

"I said now." Handing me my papers, he jostled his colleague towards the door before meeting my eyes with renewed awe. "Proceed through the door with Officer Fran, please."

I hesitated. "Actually, I would like to go to 'Heaven' first."

"Sorry Ma'am. Aria's orders are to bring you to her the moment you land."

I frowned. "Is there anything that escapes that woman?" Shouldering my back and grumbling I followed the assistant around the desk and into the bowls of Omega.

And when did she become Madam Aria?

"Do my eyes deceive me?"

I smirked as I cocked my hip to the side and grinned up at the Asari in the high backed sofa. "Maybe; eyesight is the first thing to go when you go senile."

Her guards bristled as guns were reached for, but the tall violet skinned warlord burst out laughing as she descended the few steps to me. "Oh you were always amusing to have around Jane. But I have not missed you."

I raised an eyebrow as she loomed before me, clad in a beautiful gown of black and gold lace. "You knew I was coming?"

"I know everything," the Asari's eyes twinkled.

"And you wore that scanty thing for me? Awww…"

We extended our hands together and clasped them firmly as the people around us relaxed visibly. "Times are changing, thanks to you." Gesturing to the sofa, she led me back up and we sat down. A feeling of déjà vu took me as I remembered my first time on omega. I'd been looking for him even then.

"So, you had your lackeys bring me here to tell me you didn't miss me?" I leaned one arm on the back of the sofa as I watched the dance floor below. Even inch of me wanted out of there so I could find Garrus. But perhaps a moment to regroup wasn't a bad idea. Aria did always know everything. Maybe a little intel wouldn't be a bad start.

You're dodging, the Liara in my head scolded.

"I had my lackeys bring you here so I could make sure it was you."

"Madam Aria has been waiting for me?"

Her mouth widened into a feral grin. "I'm almost respectable now." She accepted a flute of red florescent liquid and the server brought me a glass of what looked like whiskey. She remembered, but my metabolism was just not the same after the spare parts. My mouth watered but I shook my head. "Going dry?"

I flinched. "Times are changing."

"You're here for the Turian. He's not here."

Heart pitching into my stomach, my haughty gaze drooped into disappointment as I turned back to her. "He's gone?"

"Out." She nodded and sipped her drink, lounging back as beautifully scary as always. "Rounding up some runaways for me."

Dread settled low in my gut, I stared at her. "He's working for you?"

For a moment she watched me with a cruel little smile then chuckled and shook her head. "Hardly. He's working for himself and not for lack of offering. But he is quite a force to be tamed. A mind of his own, that one."

Relief suffusing over every pore in my being I glared at her vengefully. "Yes. I know. So when is he coming back?"

"Soon. We've managed to set up a private comm buoy around Omega; so I could get a message sent to him." She lifted a hand to one of the Batarians standing guard, but I interrupted her.

"No. That's okay."

Her eyebrow hiked up in interest.

I watched the dancefloor again. "I will wait."

"Why?"

Letting out a deep breath I twisted my torso and faced her fully. "Because it's been three years, eleven months, fourteen days, six hours and," I glanced at my watch, "forty two minutes since I last saw him. I need all the time I can get."

Squashing the mocking snicker I could see brewing in the Asari's face, she pressed her lips together before downing the last of her drink and hailed for another. "What do you need?" She thankfully only stayed professional. I almost hugged her for it.

"A key to his residence?"

Her mouth widened into a knowing grin. "Snooping. Now that's stooping low, even for you."

"You're wearing a skirt; I think we're beyond low now."

Throwing her head back with a hearty laugh, she beckoned one of her personnel. "You're lucky I like you Jane. Take the Commander to Vakarian's suite and link her omnitool to our comm network. Keep in touch."

I rose out of my seat and she nodded at me in what looked suspiciously like respect. I have to admit, it threw me for a moment. All I could muster was a nod in return before following the Batarian out of her night club.

Maybe Aria was just fucking with me. I never could tell with her.

XXX

And then I was inside.

Damnable Turian! Everything smelled of him. Like gun oil and clean, cool metal.

The residence was more than a suite. It was more like a penthouse. Whatever Garrus was doing, it seemed to be working. The door opened into a flight of ebony steps that ascended to a warm wood and white vinyl lined den. Plush sofas, seething fireplace and a huge window that now showed the endless flickering lights of Omega's atrium.

Sweet.

The snooping was not hard to do; he wasn't the tidiest Turian I knew. His mail was still on the desk, messages scribbled in shorthand I had learned to decipher. He was keeping the peace in Omega and running a successful business.

And looking for me.

Then a photo frame caught my eye and I picked it up with growing trepidation.

She was Turian.

It could be Solana. Every logical part of me said it could be his sister, but some suspicious feminine fragment of me kept whispering that it had been a long time. Times really had changed. It could be more.

Mentally shaking myself from the downward spiral of doubt, I turned to back to his living quarters. The kitchen area was separated from the den with a long counter with stools. The counter was as littered with paperwork as his desk. I tried to picture him grumbling about it alone as he hunched in the stool, but the Turian woman kept popping up the kitchen complaining about the mess.

Needing to move on, I turned to the stairs.

A flight of them flared up from one corner of the den and another descended from the other. Taking the lower level first, I passed through a door and nearly stumbled in my surprise.

There sitting next to what I guessed was the latest model of skycars, was – the Mako!

Hunkering and bruised and glorious it stood. For the next half hour, I spent trailing my fingers over every scar and memory, laughing, crying, reliving the giggles of a gunnery officer and the back and forth barbs between my Turian and the Krogan warrior. The kaleidoscope would have had me for hours if I hadn't heard the automated voice greet the suite owner.

Shit!

Head snapping around, I idiotically looked for a place to hide as panic began to bubble inside me. I heard the clank and snap of booted talons across the floor above me and I scrambled to the lock on the Mako, but the code was changed. Glaring at the monstrosity that never ceased to gang up on me with Garrus, I kicked it with a booted toe only to go cursing and hopping away as pain knifed up my foot. "Son of a…" muffling my curse, I spun around hoping to find a table, a chair. Anything. But unlike his apartment, the garage was spotless.

Infernal Turian!

Rushing to the light panel, I pressed the button just as the footsteps began descending the stairs to the garage.

Like a stupid child, I stood there in the darkness, one hand on my mouth marveling at myself. Oh, how the mighty had fallen. Shaking my head, insane laughter building in my gut, I leaned against the wall as the door swished open and his silhouette finally framed there.

"I don't know who you are, but I'm one hell of a shot," his flanging voice drawled easily as he placed one hand on the door frame. "And I don't take break-ins lightly."

His talon finally caught the switch and the light blinded me for a second.

His breath left him in a whoosh.

Opening my adjusting eyes, I straightened as he gawped at me in disbelief. "You know, if I were really robbing you, you should maybe talk less, and shoot more."

I had rendered the Turian deaf, mute and stupid because for the longest time, he just stood there, swaying lightly in the doorway. Eventually, I saw him draw a ragged breath. "No way."

Snickering at his reaction, my own panic giving way to excitement, I crossed my arms and stuck out my hip in my patented humoring stance. "Way."

He took an unsteady step forward, his mandibles flickering away from his jaw in what I had come to recognize as anxiety. I wondered what he was anxious about: the Turian female in the picture walking in on us, if I foolishly flung myself into his arms? Or perhaps he was anxious to have me in them? I was woman enough to be torn by the doubt. "You're…" he trailed off as he took another slow step.

Taking pity on the poor Turian, I took my own and decided to meet him halfway. As always. "Here? Yeah. You can thank Liara for that. I've been trying to get in touch since the relays were fixed."

Some of the shock wearing off, his brow plates rose and his steps became steady as he continued to shorten the distance between us. Maybe he would have spoken, however, I was still rambling. "But you're a busy Turian, it seems. I finally got your address from Liara."

Amusement streaked across his handsome face, his blue eyes flickering in his usual mischief. It lightened the burden of doubt in my chest as he drew nearer. "So you thought: it's been 4 years why don't I just break into his apartment?"

My mouth twitched with laughter but I kept my eyes on his as I stepped closer. "Uh, the door was unlocked? And it's been three years, eleven months, fourteen days, seven hours and," I glanced at my watch, "fifty-six minutes."

Nearly a foot away, his mouth opened on a satisfied smirk I had missed so much. "When have I ever left a door unlocked?"

"When you were in the middle of some calibrations?

His gaze narrowed admonishingly and I couldn't help the chuckle as I took the final step to look up into those beautiful blue eyes. Damn but he was beautiful this up close. How could I have forgotten that? If that wasn't Solana by any chance, I would rip off her mandibles if she didn't step out of the damned way. Oh why hadn't I thought to check if the clan markings had been the same? I lamented inwardly.

"I thought you knew me."

The words were like ice-water on my romanced nerves and I lost my smile, the doubt resurfacing enemas. "Ah, look." I touched my temple as it began to throb again. "I know it's been a…long time. I'm sure you and I have gone down different paths. I can understand if you want to… maybe, I don't know…start over. You could get to know me again," I blubbered uselessly. Dammit woman! Commander Shepard snarled. Get a hold of yourself! But Jane was floundering in building panic as Garrus' gaze sharpened and he stepped closer.

Stupid, stupid Jane. I continued to ramble. "It's completely okay you know. I'm not here to rush you. Maybe I should have called first. Yeah. Definitely should have called first. But it's no biggie really." I chuckled awkwardly. "Maybe we could just go for a drink, like old times. Hopefully it won't involve being shot at or…"

The Turian nearly filled my vision and my voice hitched to a stop when his gloved thumb gently brushed my lower lip, his eyes dancing with mirth and what I could clearly see now, adoration! "Shepard," he rumbled happily deep in his chest as my heart skittered off it kilter. Oh sweet Jesus that voice.

So mesmerized I was by his eyes and his beautiful multi-vocal voice, that I gasped when I felt his other arm wrap around my waist and drag me flush against him. Forehead pressed against mine, I melted into a little Shepard-puddle in his arms as his breath whispered against my mouth for the first time in forever. "Shut up and stop worrying," he whispered.

What do you say to a man if you were dead?

He was right.

Wrapping my arms around him, I pressed my mouth against his and decided there was no point in voicing what I was feeling.

He said meet me at the bar and I kept my promise.

THE END