The dark brown and light orange freckles on the backs of my hands stand out in the light drift between the slightly closed curtains. Everything has seemed so meaningless now. My stomach growls at me, reminding me that I haven't eaten at all today, but what's the point now? The doctor said there wasn't much hope for me now. If only I took my symptoms seriously.

The door to my small apartment opens suddenly and my roommate, Monica, waltzes in, letting her bright teal gym bag smack the door into the wall. Her ponytail whips about as she throws her bag on the floor and shuts the door with her sneaker cladded foot. Sighing, she puts her hands on her hips and looks down at me. She frowns at the scene in front of her; my back on the floor, my legs on the couch, my hands up in the light coming through the window, and Blinks, our cat, sitting on my growling tummy.

"Sarah, you can't just mope around."

She turns away to go to the attached kitchen to make tea. We have a routine now. I heat up the water on the stove ten minutes before she gets home so that the water has been boiled, but by the time she pours it, it's not too hot. Blinks pounces off my body and mews at Monica to feed us. Well, probably just her, but I deserve some food too, maybe. I groan and sit up.

"I know."

Monica's hips sway to the music in her mind as she ignores my noises and words. Her pouty lips move to the lyrics that I can faintly make out to be "Death of a Bachelor" by Panic! At the Disco. She walks her perfect figure back into the living room and sits on the couch beside me. I lean my head on her knee and sigh.

"You know what you need?" she says sipping her lukewarm tea.

"Enlighten me."

"You need to do some of your bucket list ideas." She points to my journal on the floor in front of us. "Like have sex."

I laugh and sit next to her. "No thanks."

"Oh, that's right," her voice dripping with sarcasm.

She rolls her eyes and looks into her black leaf liquid. Who could like tea? She sips the drink and puts it on the side table before turning to me. The smell of her deodorant and sweat waft around the couch. Why doesn't she shower after her work outs?

"I forgot you're a virgin."

I lay down and put my feet on her lap. "I have cancer too. Want to make fun of that?"

She begins to rub my feet. "I only make fun of things you have control over."

I roll my eyes this time. "I'm sorry I'm not like you."

Her brown eyes pierce mine. "Like me? Say what you mean, bitch."

"A stripper."

"Yeah, I like my job." She tickles my foot. "At least I have had boyfriends."

I pull my feet away and yelp. My feet are extremely ticklish.

"I've had boyfriends, Monica."

"You've barely had one. And you two weren't even dating. He wanted to put it in you and you told him to take a hike."

It's true, but it hurts to hear it out loud. Am I a prude? A dying prude? Why did I even make that bucket list? My therapist knows I won't do any of that shit. I cross my legs and take a deep breath trying to calm my on-coming panic attack.

"I want to set you up with someone."

My eyes snap open and glance over at her. "Are you serious?"

She smirks and grabs her tea. "He works with me."

I frown. "Is he a stripper?"

"No, he's my boss's intern." She gets up and goes back over to the kitchen. "He's a virgin like you."

My face burns at learning an intimate detail about this stranger. "How do you know?"

She bites her lip and looks at the wall. "Well…"

"Is he ugly or something? Wait, why is a virgin interning at a strip club?"

She shrugs and puts her tea on the counter. "Okay, so he's not an intern, but he's a bouncer."

"And he's ugly." This time I don't ask.

Monica opens the fridge and grabs an apple. "His ex-girlfriend worked with us two years ago."

"And? What does that have to do with anything?"

She ignores me. "Me and her used to do this thing on the stage where we would both get a candlestick and-"

I put up my hands. "Nope! Stop."

She laughs and sits up on the counter, almost knocking her tea over. "Fine, but anyway, so like two years ago," she takes a bite of her apple and continues, "she like got murdered or something."

My mouth drops open. "What the hell? How is this relevant?"

"He started working with us when she died to like protect us girls from creeps."

"What a gentleman," I say picking at my nails. "Wait, he cannot be a virgin if he had a stripper girlfriend."

She shoots me a glance, but then nods. "You haven't seen his face."

"Oh no, Mon." I laugh. "Is he that ugly?"

"He's a huge uggo." She gets off the counter and puts her half eaten apple next to her cup. "Drive me over so I can get my paycheck and you can meet him."

Monica leaves her gym bag, her tea, and apple out as she retreats to her bedroom before I can argue. She is a slob sometimes. I pick up Blinks who began purring at me and put him on the cushion next to me. Maybe I should give this guy a chance. I might die tomorrow for all I know. I pet Blinks and take a deep breath.