Geez, why am I putting this up? My business paper's tomorrow! :( Damn gearing ratios. By the way, does anyone know where I can get my hands on an IB biology SL or business HL 2009 syllabus?
"I'm dead," thought Shego. "I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead." She lay there, still and unmoving, heavy rock and stone pushing in on her from all sides. Geez, death was uncomfortable. A jagged shard of pebble was wedged up under the small of her back, while a flat, heavy rock pressed insistently against her forehead.
Suddenly, a sound. What was that? It was muffled, but it sounded a lot like… the princess. Ah, there it went again. Well, maybe I can slip out of death just this once…
The sound grew slightly clearer, as she heard something shifting frantically, almost hysterically, through the rock. "Shego! Shego, are you there? Talk to me, Shego!" Shego opened her eyes and squinted. Kim's panicked voice seeped through the myriad tiny cracks and gaps in the rubble. Aha, so there she is, separated from me by ten feet of rock. Shego coughed twice, ridding her airways of rock dust, before tentatively licking her lips and calling out. "Pmmknnn…" Well, darn, was that her? Where'd her voice go? She tried again, clearing her throat for good measure. "Pum…k'n…"
The burrowing sounds stopped for a second, before speeding up again. "I hear you, Shego! Whatever you do, don't, uh, don't walk towards the light! Follow the sound of my voice!" Then abruptly, the sounds stopped again.
A shriek, and then, "Ron?! Ron, wake up!" Silence.
"Uh, Kimmie? You still there?"
"Oh Shego! Ron's… I think he's out cold. Think you can, uh, melt yourself out of there?"
"Sure, I could… if I wanted my hands encased in molten rock." Shego rolled her eyes. "Is your kimmunicator working? Can you get your pocket nerd to arrange for some rescue?"
"There's no signal. Wade's devices can get through to the moon! And there's no signal! We must be buried under tonnes of—"
Shego could hear the mounting panic in Kim's voice, and tried to calm her down. "Relax, princess. If your nerdlinger was being a good nerdlinger, he would have tracked you all the way here. He'll probably send GJ over or something to check it out, now that he can't reach you."
She heard deliberately slow, deep breaths, in and out, in and out, before Kim finally spoke. "There's got to be a way out of here before then."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't you think you should, you know, work at freeing me first?"
"Oh yeah! Right." And Kim renewed her digging efforts.
But half an hour's work had hardly made a dent in the seemingly impregnable rock wall, and Shego could tell by Kim's ragged breathing that the redhead was tiring fast. So for her own best interests, she decided to help her take her mind off the work.
"Soooo Kimmie. How's, uh, school and all?"
"Kim almost stopped and stared. Except, you know, she had nothing to stare at. And she couldn't afford to stop. Was Shego… trying to make conversation?! "Ehh, same old, same old. I just got accepted into my university of choice, so right now it's pretty much just… well, partying."
"Wait a minute. You party?!" The scepticism in Shego's voice would have been obvious to someone hearing-impaired.
"Of course I do!" Kim sounded indignant. "Well… I dance. I enjoy the dancing. I don't drink. I'm not quite legal yet."
"Well, hey, sex at your age is considered statutory rape. I don't see you avoiding it."
Kim's silence was deafening, and to Shego, mind-blowing.
"You haven't—?!"
"No, I haven't. Now will you get off my back already? I need to concentrate!"
Silence reigned again for another, oh, four minutes. That's how long it took before Shego could no longer restrain herself.
"If you don't mind me asking, why not? You, uh… you've… got quite the body."
Shego heard Kim pause for a moment in her digging, before continuing. "I, um, I guess I… just haven't found the right someone yet," she said quietly.
"Ah. The Buffoon not work out for you?"
Even though Shego could not see it, she could definitely feel the hot glare that Kim shot at her from where she was. Kim did not bother to answer her, and after awhile, Shego felt uncharacteristically apologetic.
"Look, Kimmie, I was joking, alright? I'm sure John—"
"Ron!"
"—Ron is a perfectly nice guy. Maybe he just wasn't… your guy."
"I know, I know. It's just…" Kim bit her lip hesitantly. "I still don't really get why it didn't work out with Ron. I mean, we had it all worked out, you know? We seemed so… perfect for each other!"
"Well, you know… sometimes things that look right aren't always… right. Just like how things that look utterly wrong can, uh, sometimes fit perfectly." Oh, hell, what was she saying? Was Kim even getting any of the… the hints she was dropping? Did she need to be more obvious?
Another awkward lull in the conversation. What was wrong with her tonight?! She was so off her game.
"…Why'd you two break it off then?"
"Ron was… well… let's just say it struck me as…odd that I wasn't very, uh… turned on when he… when he got to third base."
Now it was Kim's turn to be treated to silence. She welcomed the brief respite from Shego's insistent foray into her love life, and focused on the digging, trying furiously to hide her embarrassment. Why the hell was she telling her arch nemesis all this, anyway?! Stupid Shego, and her stupid empathy… You've got to remember, this isn't the same woman you shopped with, and gossiped with, and took pictures with. Geez, she wasn't even feeling tired now.
When Shego finally spoke again, Kim could almost sense the nervousness in her voice, even though her words were as brash and flippant as always. "Well, who knows, Kimmie. Maybe you should start trying to break out of your little rut."
"…what exactly do you mean?" Kim was wary, and cautious, and watchful for any sort of attack, emotional or otherwise.
"I mean… you know, shaking up your whole definition of 'attractive'. Looking for… different things in a partner…"
"Oh? What did you have in mind?"
Shego took a deep breath, and plunged ahead.
"Well for starters, why limit yourself to the opposite sex?"
Kim paused in shock. "Um, Shego… Wouldn't I have to… you know… like girls in the first place to be attracted to them?"
"You'll never know for sure until you try it, Kimmie. And weren't you saying Ron didn't do anything for you?"
Kim pondered a moment. "But that might've just been… Ron. You know how he is…"
"Tell you what, pumpkin. Once you get me out of here, let me… let me show you how you could have it with a girl. No strings attached."
Kim's brow furrowed and her head tilted, as if to say, you're kidding, right? But of course, Shego could not see this. She could only hear the silence… the possible reciprocation… or the possible rejection.
"…Kimmie?" Shego sounded nervous. Well, of course she's nervous, you dope! She's practically just asked you out! Ewww! Man, this is weird. And awkward. And… ewwwww.
"Just hold on a sec, Shego."
…Well… it's not like she's hideous or anything… And hey, you know what, she actually is kinda… curvy… Attractive, almost. You know… if I were a guy. And I have been having the worst luck with boys… And she was my best – second best – friend when she was Miss Go… It's just… ewww! I mean, how are we even supposed to have se—
"Uh, you know what? Forget I said anythi—"
"Yes."
"…What?"
"You heard me. I'll, uh… (I can't believe I'm doing this) I'll give it a shot."
"Really? Great! Uh…" Shego tried to dampen down the enthusiasm that had infected her voice. The trick was sounding disinterested enough to leave them wanting more. "So I'll… pick you up at eight? Your place?"
"Yeah, sure."
The silence was unbearably awkward, even more so than before. And so they were both incredibly grateful when…
"Did you hear that?"
An ear-splitting drilling sound was reverberating around the cavern walls, getting louder by the second.
"What, that horribly loud drilling noise? Oh, nooo, of course I didn't." Shego was back into sarcastic mode.
She was quite obviously avoiding the curious glances Kim shot at her every few seconds once Drakken freed her. He had used some sort of… sonic… wave… thingamajiggy to actively loosen the rubble encasing Shego, and after another half an hour of 'sounding' the wall, she had managed to pull free.
Drakken helped Shego up, and assisted her in swiping the dust off her cat suit while Kim watched wordlessly. Soon afterwards, Drakken was prepping the drill to go back up to the surface. Shego and Kim stood awkwardly facing each other, Kim with a blush tinting her cheeks.
"So… I'll see you later?"
"Yeah, okay." Kim gave off an uncertain smile. She turned to Drakken. "Foil you next time, Drakken." Hey, just because the two were enemies didn't mean they couldn't be civil.
She gave a jaunty wave, slung the still-unconscious Ron around her shoulders fireman-style, and shot out of the cavern on her rocket boots through the hole Drakken had bored his way through.
Drakken gave Shego a curious look as she did a little victory dance. "What, Dr. D? You never see a girl happy before?"
"Oh, I've seen plenty of girls happy. Well… I've seen DNAmy happy. But you? Never."
"Ah. Well you're looking at someone who just scored a date with Kim-frikkin'-Possible!" Shego pumped a fist in the air and let out a yip of triumph, unable to keep the giddy grin off her face.
"Ooooh! Oh, fo'shizzle, she's ah, she's… bangin'."
Shego stopped mid-dance and stared at her employer with a raised eyebrow. "That's it; I'm cutting MTV from our cable. I swear, I let you watch one rapper documentary…"