Hey guys. Welcome to The Crack of Haruhi Suzumiya. My brother and I wrote this together, and we still have a long way to go, as there are so many ideas we have to put into the story! This story is ment to be total crack, so don't take it too seriously. If we offend anyone, we don't mean to, honest. If you find yourself saying "Hey! I've heard that/seen that before!" you're probably right coz we got a lot of our lines, scenes, and pretty much all of our characters from different animes, shows, videogames, etc. So, thanks for reading, and please review. If we get at last one good review asking to continue, we will immediantly post up chapter one (which is much much longer then this one) next. Please review, but no flames!

DISCLAIMER: We do not own Haruhi or any other character in this story, and practically most of the dialouge, althought this story line is pretty much ours :)

The Crack of Haruhi Suzumiya

PROLOUGE

It was the last day of school in North High and it was snowing, which was odd becuase it was summer. Only few said goodbye becuase they knew that they would see each other again, either at S.H.A.M.E.L.E.S.S Boy's Bootcamp, or S.U.N.F.L.O.W.E.R Girl's Arts and Crafts camp.

Well that is a load of crap, Kyon thought as he looked out the window of the Literary Clubroom, or as Haruhi called it, the "S.O.S Brigade Clubroom". He heard from an insider that the S.U.N.F.L.O.W.E.R Girl's Arts and Crafts camp was actually a secret underground military training facility, training young girls of all ages in giant robot fighting, weapon making, lock picking, detective 101, the cullinary arts, and more.

S.U.N.F.L.O.W.E.R stood for: Sceret Underground Network For Learning Operation War Education Recon.

Well, at least Haruhi won't be bored over the summer, Kyon thought, and continued to stare at sky that suddenly became clear and bright, as if there was never any snow at all.

What kind of lame name is that, Haruhi thought as she pondered over Kyon's camp, S.H.A.M.E.L.E.S.S Boy's Bootcamp. She had heard from Tsuruya that it was a tough as nails bootcamp, owned by Sergeant Johnson of the UNSC. From what Tsuraya said, S.H.A.M.E.L.E.S.S stood for: Sergeant Hates All Males Everywhere Like Eastern South Shibuya

And speaking of South Shibuya, both camps were located in the same area, the only thing seperating them was a large lake. The reason why Kyon and Haruhi (as well as almost more than half of their year) are going to the camps is because they all had failed at least one class. Well, Haruhi actually didn't, but she wanted to go, saying, "I must watch over my fellow girl members!"

Kyon, still looking out the window, was suddenly awakened from his thoughts. Sometihing was licking at his bare feet. It was Itsuki, jam and peanut butter dripping from his mouth, and all over Kyon's foot.

"What the fuck?!?!" Kyon yelled as he yanked his foot away from Itsuki's dirty, dirty hands.

Itsuki looked up from under the table, bewildered and in a panic. "Uh...I can explain," he said, coming out from under the table.

"No need for an explination," Kyon said, annoyed and disgusted.

Kyon got up from the table and went out the door.

"Where the hell are you going? " asked Haruhi, pissed.

"I'm going home," Kyon answered. "I had enough of this sexual abuse!"

"Oh come on! It was only the third time!" Itsuki shouted.

"Fouth!" Kyon yelled slaming the door. He headed home, and started to pack for the trip.

Little did he know that this summer was going to be one giant rat race from hell.

So, what do you think? What's gonna happen next? Is SHAMELESS really tough as nails? Is SUNFLOWER really a secret millitary training facility? Why wasn't Kyon wearing any shoes? The answers to these questions (except for the last one) will be answered in Chapter One of The Crack of Haruhi Suzumiya.