Shikamaru lies on a grassy field, staring at the clouds as he imagines death. And he can't help but smile and laugh, because - he just can't wait to die! Oh, he wants to die so bad he can hardly contain himself!
Just the alluring thought of an endless sleep, of finally being able to rest after sixteen goddamned years of nonstop breathing and the beating of his heart. It's just made him so tired. To finally be able to sleep...to rest...to stop breathing, his heart stop beating...
He wants to die so badly it hurts. Recently, everything's just gone to hell, anyway, hasn't it? First the Third died, and now this...if the Akatsuki didn't seem bad before, now they've gone and killed his sensei...Asuma. Now there's a little girl in the world with no dad, and a broken hearted woman to raise her. It's just so much. Too much.
Oh god, how he can't wait to die. Lying on the field in the grass, staring up at the clouds in the sky, all Shikamaru can think, is: "Why am I still alive?"