A/N: Looking back on what I've written so far, I feel like I need a beta. But I don't want one. I mean, sure the grammatical errors could be fixed up, but I write for a certain tone and what I feel. If I gotta wait 2 weeks for a beta to look over my stuff I'd just quit.

This is a random piece to keep my Hunter x Hunter mood going. I wish I could read Indonesian because Christ there are a lot of fanfics I can't read.

WARNING: Severe OOC

Schoolgirl Crush

Chrollo sat against a stone wall, staring at each of the current troupe members in confusion. They were all acting… weird.

Pakunoda seemed to not be able to stand still as she fidgeted with her fingers or twirled her hair. Machi looked to him, then blushed, then to a wall, and repeated while Shizuku had an expression as though she was expecting him to notice something.

Feitan's eyes would drift from him to the wall back and forth. Phinks kept smoothing his hair, Shalnark smiled as bright as ever, Ubogin seemed to be locked in a pose, and Franklin held his large hands behind his back seemingly nervous. Nobunaga was all over the place, sitting, standing, pacing, or muttering to himself in a corner.

Kortopi and Bornelov were the only members acting as though nothing was wrong, though it was hard to tell since they always covered their faces.

3 hours ago

A blonde haired woman clad in sensual business wear blushed as she considered wearing a bra or not. The Spiders were to finally going to move to a bigger city. They had all stolen new clothes, but Pakunoda wanted something special. All for the sake of, she sighed, Chrollo.

She giggled to herself as she eyed the lacy thing hanging off her finger and tossed it to the side. She'd wear something a bit bolder for a change.

After emerging from an alley, leaving a poor half naked lady in the process, Machi came from the one across from her, wearing shorts Pakunoda was positive were shorter. And was that lip-gloss?

The two females had a silent stand off after walking to one another.

"Those are some very… open clothes you have." Machi said, strained.

"Ah, yeah, and your lips are very…. Noticeable." Pakunoda commented, her eyebrow twitching.

Shizuku came into view from a jewelry shop. Not much had changed, only she wore a large gold inverted cross. The hostility in the air didn't faze her as the other two females glared at it.

"Oh, so you're done? Let's go back to the hide out." She said innocently, immediately going the wrong direction.

Pakunoda hooked one finger on her sweater's collar and pulled her along, ignoring her startled protest along the way.

Meanwhile, in another part of the city, a certain Chinese speaking boy was standing in an adult store, much to the confusion of everyone there. Phinks looked around, feeling a bit awkward. Feitan had been staring at three different coats for the longest. According to him, he didn't know if he wanted the PVC, leather, or latex one.

Even with an exasperated "Why?" from Phinks, he just looked away and mumbled something he couldn't understand.

Finally, he picked up the PVC one and put it on before walking out. The employees immediately ran to protest, but before they could make it to the door, he was gone.

Shalnark sat quietly in a beauty salon. His hair needed to be shampooed and trimmed, however, only a specialist could make it shine properly. Plus he needed an eyebrow arch. Then he needed to get a new outfit, and matching shoes.

He wanted to look his best, all for- he sighed, Chrollo.

Ubogin had gone to a large extreme.

Extreme as in going to the nearest woods, finding a bear, killing it, and making his own outfit. He'd show Chrollo how manly he was. Yelling like a maniac, he punched the first bear he set his sights on in the face.

"Yeah! Screw you bear!" he cackled, startling the other woodland dwellers into running far away.

Franklin was having a harder time simply because he couldn't find a clothing store that had XXXXXX LG clothing for men. He sighed in defeat as he decided to go into the larger men's department store. Their biggest sizes had probably the worst selection, but he'd make it work.

Nobunaga hadn't had any troubles for clothing; he just didn't know what to do. Looks had never been his strong point, he knew it. But, Chrollo didn't care about looks did he? Being the first to their hide out, he hadn't been able to sit still. Occasionally he'd sneak a glance to Chrollo as he sat wearing impressive street wear and reading a book. Candle light flickered on his pale face and Nobunaga felt heat flare to his face, leading him to pace more.

The other members filled in, and there they were.

Chrollo was completely lost.

"Everyone." He said.

An explosion may as well have gone off since the other members, sans Kortopi and Bornelov, flinched.

"Am I… missing something? You're all acting quite strange."

Awkward silence.

"Nothing wrong. I fine." Feitan lied.

"Y-yeah, it's nothing." Pakunoda said, trying to hide her face in the shadows.

The others hurriedly agreed. Still not convinced, Chrollo put down his book and stood; the others moved back an inch. He paused, then took several more steps. Kortopi and Bornelov glanced to each other since they seemed to be the only one's unfazed as everyone else was at least two feet away from where they had previously been.

Without any warning, a certain painted faced magician strolled in bearing a dozen red roses, which looked a bit off, and a box of chocolate hearts.

"Chrollo." He called sweetly.

Said man blinked as the items were shoved in his hands.

"I got you a pre-sent. White roses dyed red in the blood of my opponents, and a box of chocolates stolen from the finest shop in the city."

Chrollo blinked again.

The other Phantom Troupe members blinked.

Hisoka grinned then clasped his hands close to his heart.

"You see, I just get so excited when I see you. Ah, I can't hold it any longer! Because… you're the ripe apple of my eye! I want to pick you, skin you, crush you, and have all the fun in the world."

The dark haired man looked down to the items at hand and around, realization hitting him like a few raindrops turning into a whole torrent.

"I see. Well…" he cleared his throat. "I appreciate it."

After placing the items by his usual spot, he turned back and smiled awkwardly.

"You all… er, make great… legs."

Waves of pleased auras flowed his way like a burst of wind. Each of Spiders, sans the unreadable pair, were absolutely glowing. Though he was sure most of Hisoka's came from his crotch.

Looking back to the flowers, Chrollo let his smile fall and he stared blankly. He appreciated their loyalty, but really, he had no way of managing a bunch of love sick sociopaths.