"The drugs squad was in there too, all loud and laughing." Jane sighed and threw a cushion from Maura's couch to a chair. She sat back. "They caught a big guy - I get it. Just wasn't in the mood."
"I understand." Maura handed her a beer bottle and placed a coaster on the coffee table. "Well," she said as she sat down next to Jane, "I'm glad you came to visit. I just finished reading a paper on decomposition in sea water and I was thinking about how to proceed from there."
"'Cause nothing can beat a paper on decomposition on a friday night!"
Maura smiled.
"Tell me about salty decomposition," said Jane.
"The topic doesn't interest you."
Jane frowned. "Nah, I know, just... anything to take my mind off."
"That bad, huh?"
"Yeah, well you saw the woman. Tied to the bed, stomach ripped open. You said there were no signs of a struggle right?"
"No," replied Maura. "She was restrained to the bed willingly, it seems."
"Right, and no drugs or sedatives. I just can't get a hold of this case, I really can't. My mind is going in circles. We've profiled her now. She was a lawyer. You know? Not the kind of person to be involved into BDSM, I should think… well...We're at a loss about the profile of the murderer. It somehow seems accidental? A lover? I just don't get it. I mean, how can you put handcuffs on someone you love? No really, how is it even arousing to be handcuffed and to be told what to do or say? How can two, sane, grown up people do this to each other?" Jane picked up her beer bottle.
"I know."
"Riiight?!"
"No, I mean I know." Maura took a sip of her wine. "I know why people do that."
"You read a paper on the psychology of lunatics?!"
"No." Maura carefully placed her glass on its coaster. "No and I object to that qualification. I'll have you know that I'm such a 'lunatic'. I've been in a relationship that involved some mild BDSM. And just so you know: it wasn't lunatic. I thought it was rather enjoyable."
"WHAT? Who?" Jane gestured so wildly that Maura was concerned there would soon be beer all over her couch.
"Put your bottle down, here." She took the bottle from Jane. "That relationship ended a few months before you and I met."
"Wait...wait." Jane shook her head. "Just wait. You let some guy tie you up?"
"No."
"No." Jane frowned. "You did other things?"
"No, we mainly used restraints. Look, this is making you uncomfortable and you wanted to take your mind off the case, so let's change the..."
"Don't avoid the question! Did you… Gosh, how to even say this?"
Maura said nothing and just looked at Jane.
"Did you… well, did YOU tie HIM up?"
There was a long silence. Maura defiantly looked Jane in the eyes. "Yes," she then curtly said. "I did. I'm that kind of a lunatic."
"Geez..! Look, I'm sorry about calling that..it...you a lunatic, okay. Just..WHY?"
"Is that a rhetorical question?"
"No. Why would you even…? What can possibly be nice about it?"
"Are you being indignant or do you really want to know?"
Jane softened her expression. She put her hand on Maura's arm. "I really want to know, okay? I want to understand these people, this case. But more importantly: I want to understand you. Tell me and I promise I won't freak out."
"Hm." Maura picked up her wine glass again. "He was a CEO. He was handsome, had all his chicks in a row."
"Ducks?"
"Yes. He was always in control at work. Calling the shootings. So he asked me to be his dominating partner. It felt a bit comical at first, but then I really enjoyed it."
"Why?"
"He trusted me completely. I had full power over his wellbeing, his enjoyment - his life. He trusted me to take care of him."
"I guess it's nice to be in full control of someone." Jane took her hand from Maura's arm and raked her fingers through her hair. "I think I kinda get that. A power thing, yes? But what was in it for him? I mean - how can it possibly be nice to be a slave to someone?"
"It wasn't quite about power for me, that's what I'm trying to explain. And as for him, I can only go by what he described to me. He felt liberated. He didn't have to make any choices for while. He could fully relax."
Jane frowned. "I don't get it. I get your part, but not his. How can a grown man… I don't get it."
"Obviously." Maura took another sip.
"Hey, I'm trying. I really am. I want to break this case open so badly, I'm trying my utmost to understand what it takes for someone to willingly be put into a leather bathing suit and get chained to a bedpost only to have your gut cut open. I really am. Thank you for trying to explain, truly. But this is just completely beyond me."
For a few moments nothing was heard but the tapping of Maura's nails against her wine glass. Then she said: "Try it."
"Just to make sure, cause I never know with you," replied Jane. "Just to be certain: you want me to go date some dominating guy and be his leather sex slave to see whether he'll cut me open?"
"No, I want you to relinquish your control to me. Just for half an hour."
"You want me to be YOUR sex slave?"
"It doesn't have to be about sex."
"It doesn't?"
"No," Maura said as she put her wine glass down. "It's about trust, which is an integral part of any friendship. Give me your hand."
"You gonna tie me up?!"
"Jane…"
"Okay, look... here." Jane extended her hand. "But you better not tie me up."
"Thank you." Maura softly took Jane's hand in hers. "Now, I will let you put my bracelet on your wrist. That will be a sign that we are taking part in the experiment and the dynamics of our friendship are temporarily suspended. When you take it off, it will be the end of the experiment and we will return to normal. Also, we'll use a safe word. Ehm.. 'Quinoa'. Will that suit you?"
"I don't know what's happening?"
"It will become clear. Do you remember the safe word?"
"Key-nwah"
"Right. If either one of us speaks this word, the experiment ends right away. Yes?"
"Yes."
"So I will let you slide my bracelet onto your wrist as a token that the experiment has started. Do you trust me?"
"No."
"Jane?" Maura was trying to make eye contact, but Jane was looking away. "Jane, this is important. Do you trust me to take care of you for the next half hour?"
"I guess."
"I promise not to overstep any boundaries that have been established in our friendship."
"I guess."
"Jane, will you look at me? We can abandon this experiment right now, if you so wish. Just let go of my hand and not put the bracelet on."
"No, I wanna understand this woman. I wanna crack this case. Let's do this" Jane looked up and into Maura's eyes, sighed and then - without breaking eye contact - slid the fine golden bracelet onto her own wrist.
"Good," said Maura. "I will not restrain you, given your past experiences with restraints in traumatic settings. But I will ask you not to use your hands, unless I give you permission. Also, you will not speak unless I give you permission. The safe word is always permissible, of course. Do you understand?"
Jane opened her mouth to answer, but Maura put her hand up: "Ah! No words. Just nod if you understand."
Jane nodded.
"Good. Close your eyes."
Jane did.
"Have you been blindfolded during any traumatic experience? Just nod if this has been so."
Jane shook her head.
"Good, I will now use my scarf to blindfold you. You may ask my permission to remove the blindfold if this brings back any unpleasant memories." The scarf tickled on Jane's face and then Maura's perfume surrounded her. She felt Maura's fingers graze her cheekbones and her hair and then the scarf was tightened.
"Not too tight?"
Jane shook her head.
"Open your mouth slightly."
Jane swallowed.
"Open your mouth slightly," repeated Maura, a little sternly.
Jane did.
The cold glass of the rim of her beer bottle touched Jane's open lips and she felt the bottle being lifted. The cool liquid filled her mouth and the alcohol and carbon dioxide burned pleasantly in her heard Maura's shoes clunk onto the floor, then soft footsteps - nylon on wood - away from her. She heard the fridge open and close, utensils and glassware. Then the soft footsteps approached again.
"Open your mouth."
Without hesitation Jane did as she was told. This time the cold metal of a spoon touched her lips. "What is th..," she started.
"Shhh."
"Sor.."
"Shhh." A hand was placed on her arm. "Just taste."
It was delicious; sweet, cool and creamy, but Jane had no idea what she had just been fed.
"Open up."
Again the metal of the spoon touched her lips and the sweet cream was on her tongue. They spent some moments like this in silence. Then, expecting the cold metal of the spoon against her lips, a jolt went through Jane. Soft, warm skin wiped along her bottom lip."There. Spilled some." Maura's voice sounded deep and close to her. Jane wanted to reach out, but realised she wasn't allowed to.
Again the rim of the beer bottle was against her lips and she was given a few sips of beer.
"Sit up a little."
Jane sat up. "Like th..?"
"Shh."
"Sorr.."
"Shh…" A soft laugh.
She felt Maura's hand around her ankle and then her leg was lifted and placed on a cushion. Soft footsteps away from her, then towards her again from the other side. Her other leg was lifted similarly. She relaxed a little.
She heard the familiar buzz of the TV switching on. Oh god, was Maura going to force her to watch a boring foreign documentary? The sound of several channels being zapped. Then a familiar voice. "And so the Bronco's are about to…" The sound was muted.
"What?" she protested into the darkness. Her voice sounded hoarse to her.
"No talking."
Maura's footsteps sounded behind her. There was the sound of a chair being dragged on the floor towards her. The chair was placed behind her. And then suddenly Maura's hands were in her hair. They combed her curls a little and then began to rhythmically massage her scalp. It felt suprisingly relaxing and electrifying at the same time. God, if Maura, or anyone, had offered to massage her scalp outside of this experiment, she would have slapped them. And now…?
"The Bronco's are playing the Lions," Jane heard Maura's voice as the massaging continued. They have just entered the field. One of the coaches, a short guy with a moustache, is getting quite worked up about something. I guess he's from the blue team. The commentators are laughing about it and saying some things that I can't quite lipread. The teams are getting ready for the start of a new play. The quarterback is...is that the quarterback?"
Jane raised her shoulders. She didn't know, she didn't care. She was nourished, safe, being massaged and listening to a sports commentary spoken by her favourite voice. She noticed tears welling up in her eyes and fought them.
"He is throwing the ball to a man wearing the same blue outfit. That must be a Lion. He's running, but now he is tackled. A digital line appears on the ground. They are huddling around that. Oh, now he's got nice legs for a man in tights."
A half laugh, half sob escaped Jane.
"Shh... " The fingers were softly combing through her hair now. "The guys in white have the ball, one guy's running really fast, but now..."
Jane let the words wash over her. She didn't stop her tears anymore. They spilled through her closed eyelids and were absorbed by the scarf. She cried quietly as Maura combed her hair with her fingers.
And then there were no more tears, just a deep sense of peace. Jane felt like she was almost floating. She had lost all sense of time and place.
But apparently eternities have an end.
The fingers stopped going through her hair. The chair was moved backwards and she felt Maura taking place next to her.
"It's been 35 minutes. 'm going to take your blindfold off."
Carefully the scarf was removed. Jane blinked into the light. And if Maura saw that Jane had been crying, she didn't comment on it. "Will you give me my bracelet back?"
Jane shrugged, sighed deeply and then placed her hand in Maura's. Reluctantly she removed the bracelet from her wrist and slid it onto Maura's.
"Do you understand now?" asked Maura.
Jane nodded.
"You can speak again. The experiment has ended."
"I know." It was only a whisper. Jane looked up at Maura and quickly looked away, afraid that the intensity in her eyes would reveal the depth of the storm in her soul.
"We're back to normal again."
"Yeah." Jane cleared her throat. "I'm going home."
"Of course."
They stood up at the same time. It felt like a vacuum had been created between them, sucking them into collision; a long, strong hug.
"I better go."
"Yeah."
'Thanks' sounded contrived and so Jane didn't speak the word out loud. "See you on Sunday," she said instead.
"Sunday." Maura nodded.
And they did see each other again on Sunday for the Rizzoli family brunch. And they were back to normal. They were laughing at Frankie's antics, cuddling TJ, doing the dishes with Angela, talking, smiling, avoiding eye contact. They were back to normal. But also, kind of, not at all.