Beautiful Pain

By Major Mike Powell III

I am one of the three founding members of the school idol group Muse. I practice kyoudo and kendo. I am the future heir to the Sonoda family dojo and traditional Japanese dance school. I am Sonoda Umi and my two best friends, my two childhood friends, Kousaka Honoka and Minami Kotori...they are absolute idiots and sometimes, I truly, honestly can't really decide whether I love them or hate them.

...Ok, perhaps not "hate". More like, sometimes, I really feel the urge to smack them.

After all, I already smacked Honoka once.

...But no. If I so much as look at Kotori if she sees me about to raise my hand to slap the silly out of her...I would likely turn my hand on me and slap myself. I couldn't possibly live with that guilt.

I always knew, the second that I was old enough to learn what it was, when I learned to read between the lines, and yes, make all the "S-SO SH-SHAMELESS!" jokes in the world, but I always knew that Honoka and Kotori were made for each other.

They met each other before they met me.

They probably loved each other in a past life and their love was so strong, it transcended that and followed them into this one, where Kotori's just like, she's like a lost little puppy that can't do anything on her own, who can't be honest with herself and Honoka.

But, then, why did she tell me first?

When she received that cursed invitation to go study fashion in the United States, she told me first. Why? I never truly got an answer from her.

Kotori made me promise, she begged me to promise not to tell anyone. And yes. She used the Kotori Patented "Onegai!" I had no choice in the matter. I had no choice. The "Onegai!", you guys. It's...there are no words to describe the power of that.

And then, came the one taboo subject that, afterwards, everyone in Muse agreed to never speak of again.

The Little Bird Crisis. Oh my God. The Little Bird Crisis.

Honoka collapsed during the "No Brand Girls!" concert, and then, Kotori had the brilliant! idea to tell Honoka everything just a few days later. She told Honoka what was going on. Kotori told Honoka she had decided to go study fashion abroad.

Throughout the years, I built a great poker face...but on that day, that moment, when Kotori's voice was on the verge of breaking as she explained everything to Honoka...the look on Honoka's face...the look in her eyes, the pure, raw emotion in those big, blue eyes of hers when she looked at me, asking...no. No, when she said "You knew, didn't you?", I...I almost shed tears of my own there.

At that moment, I cursed Honoka and Kotori both for being so utterly stupid and blind and ignorant and just... Sigh Easy. Calm down, Sonoda. Calm down. You have better control than this.

I won't deny that slapping Honoka in the face felt amazing. It honestly, truly did.

But at the same time, I knew, was fully aware...painfully aware...that my hand burned way worse than Honoka's cheek.

And to truly drive the point home? I honestly, truly gave a silent prayer to The Lord himself to forgive me for betraying Kotori's trust.

I gave my silent prayer and cried out in Honoka's face, my hand still in the air after the slap I delivered...

"YOU'RE THE WORST! YOU AND KOTORI LOVE EACH OTHER! YOU TWO ARE THE WORST!"

Well...that wasn't really me spilling Kotori's secret as much as it was me calling them both out on the issue.

Then, the days passed. Muse went on hiatus and pulled out of the running for the Love Live! competition.

The cold shoulder that the three of us, the three idiots that started Muse in the first place...it was the most horrible time of our lives. We all knew how much this was killing us.

Every single day I would sit in our classroom, biting the inside of my cheek, my teeth grit and just, urging either Honoka or Kotori, or both, to just...say something. Anything. Any words, insults or otherwise, would have been better than the silence.

None of us was free of guilt.

I betrayed Kotori's trust.

I broke Honoka's spirit.

And those two...those two broke my heart.

Then, one day, when at long last, when the Little Bird Crisis was finally about to end, Honoka texted me.

When I walked into the empty auditorium and saw Honoka standing on that stage...I honestly put in tremendous effort not to swoon.

Honoka looked...she looked like the most majestic phoenix just about to be gloriously reborn from its ashes.

And in order to fully be reborn, I had to play my part so that the phoenix would rise again.

"I've grown used to being dragged around by you, Honoka. You're an idiot that just barges right in, who charges head-long into everything you do."

"Oh come on, Umi-chan! Don't be so mean! You were already mean enough when you slapped me! My face still hurts, you know?"

"Oh please, Honoka. There are ointments and other products to treat that."

"Hmph~!"

We were getting off topic, instead, bickering about exaggerated facial injuries. The idiots, both of us.

"Umi-chan, I'm sorry for everything."

"And I'm sorry for...I'm sorry for many things, Honoka. I'm sorry for keeping quiet."

"But...about Kotori-chan...I, I really-" I raised my hand to make her stop. I didn't want to hear it. No, not when it was just the two of us.

"Tell Kotori."

"But Umi-cham-!" "Honoka, please. Stop. You and Kotori adore each other. You love each other so much, it hurts you both."

I stepped forth, standing at the foot of the front row, looking up at Honoka as she stood on the stage.

"I'm used to getting dragged along by you, Honoka. And so is Kotori. And she loves every second of you pulling her along into what you want to do. She'll follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked her. Honoka, go. She's waiting for you. If you don't want her to leave, then go and tell her. You know she will never, ever say "no" to you."

And so, that was how Honoka was finally reborn. She rose from the ashes like the most majestic phoenix and took off, running like the Devil himself was at her heels, headed for the airport to finally put an end to the Little Bird Crisis.

And as I stood at the gates of Otonokizaka Academy, looking at Honoka running, flying away to go bring Kotori back...I hugged myself and bit my lip to try and stop some stubborn sobs. I blinked away tears that wouldn't stop as I hugged myself with an arm around the waist and the other crossed over my chest, my heart beating furiously against my forearm.

"Kotori will never say "no" to you...and I could never, ever say "no" to either of you."

So, in the end, the one true idiot was me. I was the biggest idiot of us three all along...and this was alright.

I'm Sonoda Umi, founding member of the school idol group Muse and I made painful and beautiful mistake of falling in love with my two idiot childhood best friends.

The End

For Caelion Lion. Thank you very much for lending me your ear to get this out of my head and for just being a great, beautiful person and friend.

Also, to those that feel the need to make any "TOO SHORT!" or "ANOTHER CHAPTER NAO PLZ!" or anything among those lines, then, please leave me alone. I get that stuff enough already from other, older fandoms, and I have long since grown tired as Hell from those greedy comments. I do not do that to anyone. I don't do it to you guys. So, please, stop. Don't do this crap to me.

Also, in this story, for those that may or may not have the text equivalent of Selective Hearing, Umi is not in love with Kotori. Umi is not in love with Honoka. Umi is in love with BOTH Kotori AND Honoka.

Thank you and have a nice day.

Semper-Fi. Carry on.