As usual, Perry the Platypus burst into his nemesis's apartment (Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!) to stop whatever new evil or petty scheme was on the books today-this time, through an open window, since he was making an effort not to break them as often (it upset Dr. Doofenshmirtz, and occasionally resulted in his getting cuts on his feet). Also as usual, once he realized that the platypus was there Doofenshmirtz wasted no time in trapping him (this time in a giant glass jar, with a few holes in the lid, thankfully), before explaining his new evil plan.
"Today, Perry the Platypus," the doctor cackled, standing next to his latest creation (which looked like some kind of cross between a giant Tesla coil and a ray gun), "I am going to destroy my brother Roger with my Destroy-Roger-inator!"
Well. It wasn't his most creatively named -inator ever. Perry rolled his eyes as he removed the glass cutter from his hat and began creating a hole in the side of the jar. Sure, it was a bit premature for him to get started escaping now, since Doofenshmirtz hadn't finished giving his backstory or explanation for why he was going after his brother this time (though it was kind of unusual for him to be actually talking about killing him, which worried the platypus), but it would speed things up a bit so they could get to the fighting sooner; it had been a long week, and Perry wanted to get the standard animosity out of the way so maybe they'd have time to share a snack or something.
Doofenshmirtz glared at him. "Really, Perry the Platypus? You can't wait two minutes while I tell you about it? Where are your manners today?"
This from the man who is claiming he's going to try to destroy his brother.
"And don't give me that look! You have no right to judge me on this!"
Surprisingly, Doofenshmirtz then plopped down into a nearby armchair with a sigh. He looked tiredly at his nemesis, resting his chin in one hand and slouching even more than usual.
"Tomorrow is-would have been-my wedding anniversary."
Perry blinked at him. Are you saying that your divorce is somehow Roger's fault?
"He wasn't actually involved in that, but thinking about it forced me to think about all my other failures, and then that train of thought led to another about Roger and all his-" the doctor held up his hands to make finger quotes- "'wonderful' accomplishments, and how he has basically everything that I've ever wanted. So I was going to incinerate him to make myself feel better."
Perry placed his paws on his hips and gave Doofenshmirtz his most disapproving scowl.
He's your brother. No matter how jealous you are of him, murder is really taking things too far. What happened to just covering him in pigeon goo?
"Oh, you don't think that's a good enough reason?!" Doofenshmirtz demanded, suddenly angry and defensive. He lurched to his feet. "Well, you should try living in someone else's shadow sometime!" Then, with a slight embarrassed chuckle, "...In the metaphorical sense. Since you already technically live in the shadows of taller people. But that's not the point!" His anger came back. "The point is, I can't think of anything good I have that Roger doesn't!"
In that instant, Perry finished cutting the glass and climbed out of the hole (carefully, mindful of cutting himself). But instead of flying to attack as usual, he decided to use a solution that was both peaceful, and would hopefully get the scientist out of his funk. The platypus walked up to Doofenshmirtz, who looked confused at his not leaping or running at him, and reaching into some secret place, he produced a small photo and handed it to him.
"What are you doing, Perry the Platypus?" Doofenshmirtz warily took the photo. "Is this a trick to catch me off guard while you destroy my machine? Because it's not going to work-"
It was then that Perry witnessed a phenomenon that rarely occurred in the Tri-State Area. Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz was speechless. He sat back in his chair with a thump, and stared for several minutes at the picture in silence and unusual solemnity. Perry was just beginning to wonder if he should quietly leave, when Doofenshmirtz said softly, "Curse you, Perry the Platypus." He looked at his nemesis with a funny expression halfway between scowl and smile. "You just gave me a reason to spare Roger."
Then he reached one long arm over to push the self-destruct button on the side of the-inator, before he leaned back in his chair and gently tucked the photo of Vanessa into his lab coat.
Well? How is it? It's just something that's occurred to me in the episodes I've seen where Dr. D complains about his 'perfect' brother. I appreciate comments. Etc, etc.