A/N
This is an Iljimae fanfiction. I have a feeling it won't be very popular but I hope some of the readers from my other stories will give it a try and let me know any thoughts. I am a little undecided as to if I will keep up with this story, but I hope to finish it. You don't need to know the story of Iljimae before reading this, I will be telling my own story.
Any thoughts and support are most welcome.
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Her footfalls thudded across the dry soft ground of the forest, the rotten vegetation underfoot aiding her wish to be unheard and silent. The sky was quickly darkening, the sun now no more than a dull ball of red fire on the horizon, sinking with each small moment that passed. Her mind screamed at her to turn back, to return the way she had come but the memories that place flashed into her thoughts gave her renewed strength to stay her course.
Was she running away? Emmi wasn't sure, she wasn't sure of anything anymore. How long had she been held captive on this strange shore, far away from the loving arms of her Mother, sisters and brother? To think now what had led her here seemed foolish and childish, the thrill of adventure, the longing to see faraway places and experience what many a woman of her own country could only dream about. But this land had not been her Father's intended destination, this was not the vast expanse of China with many pretty, delicate silks for her to coo and fawn over, this place was hostile, mysterious and afraid of outsiders.
The journey had gone so well at first, a touch of seasickness struck her for the first week and she'd been confined to her cabin in the bulk of the massive wooden ship. Emmi had felt every single bump and movement the vessel made as it was carried over the ocean, many nights she'd lain awake with the nauseous feeling and bitterly cursed her judgement in begging her Father to allow her to come along on the journey.
Her Father, Lord Capesthorne, had never been a man with much will when it came to his children and for many long years he had struggled and pushed against the unsightly wilfulness his second to youngest daughter caused him. But finally he had relented and bidden her to go with him, perhaps secretly hoping the toil and labour of travelling and the shock of never seen before sights would calm her will to something he could mould and shape to become more like her sisters. The only condition was that Alice, her personal maid, accompany them as well. Emmi had felt guilty at this for a short time, knowing Alice would be fearful of the idea, but in the end her own will to see the world won out over her maid's silent protests.
Emmi had been but eighteen then, naive and unafraid of the world. The eagerness of reckless youth tugged at her to be wild and free, but now... Now she wished for nothing more than to be at home once again, surrounded by her family, the fire roaring merrily in the great wooden panelled hall, sewing by candlelight as her Father's four large hunting dogs slept away the hours.
The day the great storm at sea had come had begun as any other, the sun seemed bright, the climate warmer than her home country. The view for miles was once again nothing but dark blue waves. She'd breathed deeply of the salty air before returning to her cabin to try and entertain herself in the best way she could manage. The months had been long and the same constant sights that met her gaze every day tiresome and tedious. The feeling on the boat changed as the water became choppy, the clouds darkening and shouts from on deck reached her hearing. They had passed through storms before and she had felt little worry, it seemed absurd now to think nature is always so forgiving.
The waves had tossed the ship to and fro like a toy. Emmi had overheard later that a man had been lost at sea, falling overboard with no hope of aid or recovery. What came next on that fateful day was a blur in her memories, a rush of noises and dark colours. By the time her mind could make any sense of the situation her father was dragging her forcefully onto a small wooden boat. She watched wide eyed as most of the crew scurried about deck, some getting into other small wooden boats, others trying desperately to throw buckets of water over the side. The whole floor at her feet had been ankle deep in sea water and it was in that moment she'd realised, the boat was sinking, slowly but surely. With what possessions she had managed to gather quickly in her cabin between her Father's desperate pleas for her to not tarry, Emmi clumsily got into the unsafe, tiny-feeling vessel, Alice following close behind, a look of sheer terror etched upon her face.
They'd been hurriedly lowered down, the little boat containing seven people, onto the still choppy waters below. Two men had begun to row with all their might, taking them away from the large ship, its lights of candles and oil lamps still burning brightly in the darkness of the night. She clutched at her Father's arm like a frightened child, unsure just what their fate would be out here with no land in sight and no hope of aid and too afraid to voice the question to the men around her. Her Father had laid a protective arm around her shoulders, giving her a small gesture of comfort.
They continued rowing into the blackness, the panic to get away before the ship went under upon everyone's mind. By morning it became apparent that no other boats could be seen, whether they had been sucked under in the wake of the large sinking vessel or moved from their line of sight, none would ever gain knowledge upon their fate.
Time had lost meaning after that night, for many days and nights they drifted, heading in the general direction that many assumed land to be. Each day their hope was broken and the supplies waned. It would only be a matter of time before food and water ran out completely and starvation would claim them. They became weak, the sun's rays stripping them of energy and the cold moon making them shiver. By the time land was spotted it took all of the will of those onboard to make it to the dull sandy beach. As Emmi left the boat her legs collapsed beneath her, unused to the stillness of dry land and the position of standing upright. Alice had clung to her, even in her own distress she had tried to attend to her mistress.
It seemed none of them would be given a moment of rest as people, natives of this land began to gather on the sandy ground nearby, keeping their distance, pointing and talking in a language Emmi didn't understand and couldn't place. Her Father was the first to try and approach them his arms outstretched in a gesture of peace. The men stood their ground and after coming to the conclusion that these strangers did not speak their mother tongue, Lord Capesthorne was ordered with firm movements to stay where he was.
Once more Emmi's life descended into a blur as time seemed to hasten past her with great speed. They were taken from the beach by very official looking men in strange clothing and even stranger hats to her eyes. They were not treated with malice or cruelty, but the fact neither could understand the other led to a very solemn journey away from the small fishing village to a large city full of buildings and people. It was so different to what she had been used to, the styles of the architecture, the way people dressed, even the food that was eaten, all was alien to her.
Seeming to sense by the way her Father was dressed that he was in fact a man of worth, Emmi, Alice and Lord Capesthorne were separated from the remaining four men that had shared their small boat many days before and taken away. Her Father made little protest, knowing his steps must fall carefully in this unknown place and his words had been stinging when Emmi questioned his actions. They had been taken to a large and rather grand looking house encased in beautifully tended gardens of flowers and twisted trees. The man who owned this wealthy abode had welcomed them in with a warm but insincere smile, giving them food, water and fresh clothing along with a bed upon the floor. This was just one of the many aspects Emmi had to become used to as the months passed and turned into years. Two long, homesick years she had lived in this place. They had all been given extensive lessons in the language and her Father had picked it up with relative ease, his passion for learning aiding him and within the year he had been able to have clumsy conversations with the people around them.
The place they had found themselves in was called Korea, a place name that was not wholly unknown to her Father or herself, she'd seen the country on maps but little to nothing was known about it in the western world. It soon became apparent that they would not be allowed to leave freely from here, a law forbade anyone to go out of this land, the general feeling seemed to be that this place wanted to keep itself to itself and wanted no influence from the outside world, and also did not wish the outside world to know about them. Her Father had many late night discussions with many grand looking men, trying to be granted safe passage but it seemed a useless plea that fell upon deaf ears. The men always shook their heads firmly. This was to be their home now until they died. Emmi had wept bitterly for many days, lashing out at her Father with harsh words, she felt she needed to blame someone, anyone that wasn't herself. She already felt wretched for coming on this journey.
She became moody, withdrawn from anything but her Father and Alice, refusing to accept requests for her to dine with anyone that wasn't whom she already knew, much to the shame and loss of face this served her Father. Emmi began to hate this place, the food, the clothes she was forced to wear... everything that could possibly be wrong was wrong for her. She could have borne it if she had known they would be returning to familiarity, but they weren't, she would be forced to live here until her last breath and there was nothing she could do to change the tide of her fate; it had been chosen for her.
She'd been content for a time to just be in her own little bubble of a world, where she and Alice talked of home and fooled themselves into thinking that one day they would return to it. But this imprudent life was shattered when she was forced to attend on her Father's arm at special banquets and formal occasions, there was only so much guilt her Father could pile upon her before she cracked under the pressure and obeyed his commands.
It was a strange feeling to be seen by all around you as no more than a curiosity, an oddness to be stared and gawped at. Her features and hair colour were different to the people she was forced to mingle with, nobles and high ranking officials whom she held stunted conversations with only when they addressed her first. Her grasp of the language was acceptable, she could understand easily what was spoken to her now, but speaking was sometimes a problem. She lacked confidence in her pronunciation, but she and Alice often practiced. Emmi had come to accept that she had to try, had to learn to enable herself to live in this place and make the pain of leaving home sting a little less.
It had only been a matter of time before a few of the noble men turned their heads her way. The flare in their eyes similar to ones she had encountered back home. At first it had been amusing to both Emmi and her maid; they'd laughed, discussing how similar men were no matter where the country and that these particular men probably visited shady establishments filled with sordid women. The humour had soon dried and turned sour as the gazes did not abate and Emmi became aware that it was not her they were favouring but Alice and her strikingly golden hair. Now the fun was nowhere to be found. Emmi knew she was protected, her Father's rank and the interest he drew to the many nobles gave them both safety, but Alice was a mere servant and if a man wanted he could have her, if he caught her alone. Emmi had taken to not straying far from her maid's side, insisting they had a lock fitted within their shared rooms. She had to bear the fact that Alice had lost everything worldly because of her; she would not risk the loss of soul and spirit as well.
At the thought Emmi came out of her torrent of memories, her breathing was a little shallow and she slowed her pace to a stop, resting her back on a nearby tree and closing her eyes in the darkness that now surrounded her in this forest. Today she had found out all her efforts were in vain, Alice was broken, her spirit and will to live shattered. Emmi had felt sick as her maid had gabbled out what had befallen her and then Emmi had fled to the gardens. She'd never wanted to see that tear-stained face again, never wanted to look into those pained eyes... The main doorway had been open, allowing in a cart of food for the kitchens and she had made a split decision right then and there to run. She hadn't given her mind time to think, to conjure reasons that this was an insane thing to do, she had nowhere to go, no aid to be had, but still she had run. She carefully and quickly made her way past many buildings until a patch of forest spread before her; the sight of the trees had spurred her legs onwards. This was how she now came to be here, leant against a tree in the cold darkness with no rhyme or reason to why she had done it and no thoughts of what she would do now.
She wondered if there would now be men searching for her, were her Father and Alice worried? She let out a low groan, she'd just made everything worse for everyone yet her pride stilled her feet from taking her back the way she had come. She couldn't seem to find any answer no matter how much she searched. Finally she pushed herself from the trunk of the tree and forced herself to walk forward, her steps held little conviction but she assumed if she moved the right decision would make itself known to her.