How Long Will I Love You?
His voice rouses me from a light sleep. "Annie?"
"Yes?" I say sleepily.
"I can't sleep."
I don't laugh. I've had sleepless nights too. Every victor has. I take his hand in mine, sitting up in bed so I can gaze down at his face. "Do you want me to sing to you?"
He nods. "You have a beautiful voice."
I stroke his forehead; run my fingers through his bronze hair. "Close your eyes."
"No," he says. "I want to see your face."
I smile. "How will you sleep if your eyes are open?"
"Just sing, please," he begs me. "It…it reminds me of when my mother used to sing to me."
I lean forwards to kiss him tenderly on the lips. His green eyes gaze into mine with a burning passion. He reaches to stroke my cheek. I sit back and allow him to lay his head on my lap. I start to hum soothingly, and I see him relax. I start to sing, a song we heard on an old CD of Mags's – a CD from a long time ago, before the Dark Days. It belonged to her parents. Mags has several of these old CDs. This song in particular, the song I want to sing, is by a woman named Ellie Goulding. Mags told us she was from a place called England. England is probably gone now.
How long will I love you?
As long as stars are above you
And longer, if I can
How long will I need you?
As long as the seasons need to
Follow their plan.
Everything is quiet. My voice fills the room. Finnick breathes steadily and I watch his chest rise and fall. He turns his head slightly and closes his eyes briefly, a content smile on his face.
How long will I be with you?
As long as the sea is bound to
Wash upon the sand.
I can just hear the distant roar of the sea. I remember happy days spent upon the sand, racing along the shore, having picnics and barbecues, seeing who could swim the deepest or the fastest. I remember sandcastles and mermaids and sandmen (our version of snowmen). I remember watching the sun rise and set.
And I remember bad days and sad days – days of screaming nightmares, terror-inducing hallucinations and flashback…memories of the Games, and the dead tributes, and being reaped, and fear…I push them away now as I gaze at the man I love.
How long will I want you?
As long as you want me to
And longer by far
How long will I hold you?
As long as your father told you,
As long as you can
I pull the duvet up to Finnick's chest. Our fingers are entwined. His eyelids flicker and I press a quick kiss to his forehead. He sighs. I trace his jawline, watching
How long will I give to you?
As long as I live through you
However long you say.
I dread the moment morning will come. An inevitable phone call reached Finnick this morning. He will have to go away tomorrow, to the Capitol. Not for the first time. And I know he dreads it too. This is why we try to cherish every moment we get together. When Finnick returns from the Capitol, from his monthly visit, he rarely leaves my side. It pains him to let me out of his sight for longer than five minutes. Some might say he's clingy, too overbearing, and too obsessive. But he has reasons. And I don't want to leave him either.
How long will I love you?
As long as stars are above you
And longer, if I may
His eyes are closing. He shifts into a more comfortable position. I gently slide out from under him, laying his head on the pillow. Then I get back into bed and snuggle close to him. He looks so peaceful. His arms wrap around me, and I rest my head on his chest. He's asleep.
"How long will I love you?" I sing the last lines of the song softly, so as not to wake him. "As long as stars are above you…"