"Well, don't worry, I'll be sure to let him know," Tifa was saying as Cloud entered Seventh Heaven. She glanced up at him, "Oh, you're in luck. He just walked in."
Cloud resisted the urge to pull a face. He should have delayed a while longer getting back to the bar, because it was hard to avoid a phone conversation when Tifa was handing the phone right to him.
"Hello?"
"Cloud, it's good to finally get a hold of you," Reeve's voice came from the phone, "I've been trying to call you since before all that trouble with the remnants."
"What do you want?" Cloud asked bluntly.
"I could use your help with the WRO," Reeve said, not at all put off by his rudeness, "One of our members has discovered a very interesting materia – "
"Ask Yuffie, she'd know," Cloud said.
"Cloud, I would like this materia to still be in our possession when we're done studying it," Reeve said ruefully, "Yuffie may know a lot about materia, but if I were to ask her, she'd probably take it even if it turns out to be entirely useless."
Reeve had a point. Cloud sighed.
"Alright," he said, "Fine. When do you want me to come over?"
The WRO headquarters looked a lot better than the last time Cloud had seen it. Of course, the last time he'd seen it, it had been under construction. He'd been avoiding Reeve and the WRO as much as he possibly could despite Reeve's repeated attempts to get him to work with his new pet project. But Cloud had had enough of being the responsible one. He had saved the world enough times. Someone else could rebuild it.
He walked inside. The receptionist was a fifty-something year old woman who dressed like she thought she was twenty years younger. She looked up at him with a bored expression.
"I'm here to see Reeve."
She raised an eyebrow, but picked up the phone and punched in a few numbers, "Mr. Tuesti? Your eleven o'clock is here… yes sir." She hung up the phone, "Fourth floor. He's waiting for you."
Cloud nodded at her, and took the stairs. Reeve was waiting at the fourth floor, and gave him a wave when he saw Cloud. Cloud sighed internally. Time to get this nonsense over with.
"This way," Reeve said, "I've been keeping it in my office because, to be completely honest with you, I have no idea what to do with it."
Reeve led Cloud down the hall to a small office. He unlocked it by scanning a card key and opened the door. He waved Cloud inside.
"Come in," he said, "It's not much, but after the years I spent working with ShinRa, I would feel weird in a big office like the other executives used to have. Would you like something to drink? Coffee, tea?"
Cloud shook his head, "Get to the point, Reeve."
Reeve sighed, and gestured to his desk. There, on a delicate-looking silver stand, was a materia that looked roughly like any other that Cloud had seen. It was spherical, pale blue-violet, and glowing faintly.
"I have to admit that I mislead you a bit," Reeve said, "It's not that we don't know what it does. We know exactly what it does, the problem is using it."
"So what does it do?" Cloud asked.
"It... allows the caster to travel through time."
Cloud blinked. "Like a time machine?"
Cloud had read a certain famous book about a time machine as a young boy, and had found it entirely boring except for the idea of time travel itself. That had been interesting. He'd spent a lot of time pretending he'd gone back in time to see dinosaurs.
"Well, if you're thinking of the book, it's not quite like that," Reeve said, picking up the materia and rolling it around on his fingers idly. "If I were to use this materia to go back in time ten minutes, my body wouldn't physically go to ten minutes ago."
Cloud nodded. "So how does it work then?"
"Well, there wouldn't be two of me," Reeve said, "Instead, my mind would go back ten minutes. The me of ten minutes ago would know everything that the me of right now does."
Cloud's eyes widened, but other than that, he kept his face under control, "So... you would basically know the future?"
"Ah," Reeve closed his fist around the materia, "That's where the problem comes in. You see, we've had a very hard time testing this materia to see what it can do. Everyone who's tried it has been extremely disoriented, and it's impossible to measure if anything actually changes, because all we have to go on is the word of the person who used it that the conversation went differently this time around. Ten minutes back in time is about the most any of us can manage, although this materia can probably do much more."
Knowing the future. Knowing what was going to happen and having the ability to change it. Cloud couldn't remember the last time he had ever wanted anything so much. It was a sudden, sharp ache in his chest. There were so many things he'd have a chance to fix.
"So, you're saying you want me to try it?" Cloud asked, keeping his face under control.
Reeve shook his head, "No, I'm wanting your advice because I really don't know what to do with this. A lot can happen in ten minutes. It would be easy to abuse. To be perfectly honest, this thing gives me the creeps. I'm leaning in favor of destroying it."
Cloud didn't have time to protest before there was a knock on the door. Reeve sighed.
"There's always something."
He walked over and opened the door, "Yes?"
"Mr. Tuesti?" a tall thin man said, "We've got a problem with the southeast bridge. One of the struts is weaker than it should be and it isn't going right. We might end up with a collapse."
"Damn it!" Reeve swore, "It's strut fifty-four again, isn't it? Give me about twenty minutes to sort this out, Cloud. I'll be back soon."
He placed the materia back in its holder and left, complaining about the bridge as he went.
… Reeve was too trusting. Cloud reached out and delicately touched the materia. Maybe… maybe if he were to pour all of his energy into the spell, he could go back far enough to change things. At least some things.
"Aerith," Cloud murmured. He could save her.
He seized the materia and poured as much energy into the spell as he possibly could. The world dissolved.
Green.
There was a haze of green over Cloud's vision. He tried to blink it away but discovered that his eyelids weren't listening to him. He tried wiping his eyes, but his arms didn't move.
What the hell? He tried to say, but he couldn't speak.
With extreme effort, he got his eyes to focus. He was… wearing his trooper uniform? Just how far back had he gone? And why couldn't he move?
"Alright, I found something," said a voice from somewhere to his right, "It might be a little big on you, but it's better than that uniform."
Cloud didn't even have enough control over his body for his eyes to widen in surprise.
"Zack?" he tried to say. What came out was the tiniest of whines.
Where the hell was he? When the hell was he?
"Alright, let's get that uniform off," Zack said, reaching down to Cloud's waist and unhooking his belt, "I'd say after all this you are definitely due for a promotion. SOLDIER first class, if I can swing it. Heh."
Zack undressed Cloud, keeping up a running commentary the whole time. Cloud listened intently, hoping for a hint of what was going on. He had been trying to go back to the Forgotten City, before Sephiroth had killed Aerith. How on earth had he gotten here?
"Not exactly the normal way to become a SOLDIER, but two days in the lab is worth any number of battles in Wutai. And anyone who says otherwise can answer to me," Zack declared.
Oh, Holy… The materia had worked, sure enough. But by pouring all his energy into the spell, he'd gone back much further than he'd intended to.
Zack ran a finger over Cloud's chest, and then pulled it back and made a quizzical noise.
"You're already dry," he said, "Did all that mako get absorbed into your skin? That can't be good."
He dressed Cloud again. Cloud had to wonder how Zack had gotten the ability to handle Cloud's completely limp body with such ease. Zack finished and straightened up with a nod.
"It looks good on you, Cloud," he said, "And it's not too big after all, so that's good."
Zack was silent for a while. Cloud could hear him moving, and what sounded like the rustle of paper.
"Aerith…" Zack murmured softly. He sounded choked. There was another long silence, broken only by the rustling of paper.
Zack's face came into Cloud's very limited field of vision, "Hey, Cloud, I have to go to Midgar. You're coming too, right?"
Zack... Cloud tried to say, although he didn't know what he meant to say. He'd come back much farther than he'd meant to. Was he again going to be forced to watch Zack die while he sat helplessly, all but dead?
But maybe not. If he could get his body to respond sooner - a day sooner, an hour sooner, then maybe...
Maybe he could save Zack, too.
He hadn't thought of this when he'd cast the spell - he'd failed Aerith and that was always foremost in his mind. Zack's death, while it hurt him, at least had not been his fault.
Zack, I need to talk to you.
"Nngh," Cloud said.
"We'll wait until night. Should be easier to get out of here then," Zack said, "I've got to get back to Aerith. Have I ever told you about her?"
He sat on the bed and ruffled Cloud's hair, "Well, whether or not I have, you're my captive audience for now!"
"Aerith is my girl," Zack said, "And she's pretty and smart and amazing. Hey, let me tell you a secret about her. You won't tell, will you? 'Course you won't. She's an Ancient. But I don't mean that she's old. That's 'Ancient' with a capital 'A,' see? She's actually only a year older than you. 'Course, she doesn't have so much of a baby face as you. If she did, I think everyone would accuse me of cradle-robbing."
Zack quieted for a while before speaking again, "Am I bothering you, Cloud? I'll shut up whenever you want me too. All you've got to do is say 'Zack, shut up' and I'll do it. Otherwise I'll just keep talking 'til I'm blue in the face. Or it's time to leave. Whichever's first."
Zack, you can't go to Midgar. I know you love her, but you can't go to Midgar!
"Yeah, I can babble like no one's business," Zack was saying, "I can out talk my mom and my auntie, and if you'd ever met them, you'd know what a feat that is."
Zack rearranged himself so that he was sitting next to Cloud and pulled Cloud against his chest.
"Hey, Cloud, talk to me," he said softly, "It can be anything, doesn't matter if it's important or not. Just... talk to me."
Cloud tried with all his might, but couldn't even manage a whisper.
"Hey, Cloud," Zack said, moving back into Cloud's field of vision, "I got a treat for us."
He waved something in front of Cloud's face, but Cloud couldn't make his eyes focus fast enough to see what it was.
"We've been roughing it for a long time. Even I think I smell bad," Zack said brightly, hauling Cloud to his feet, "Oh man, if you were awake you would be so pissed at me for risking so much just to swipe a bar of soap. But I bet you'll be glad when you wake up and you don't smell like a year-old gym bag."
Zack lifted Cloud's arms and pulled them out of his sleeves, "Good thing I had so much experience with my cousins when I was a kid. Skylar went this boneless when I was trying to get her into PJs, too."
Cloud would've blinked if that was within his control. Zack didn't talk about his family much. He hadn't known that Zack even had cousins. But it made sense that Zack had some experience with baby-sitting, since he was so competent with caring for someone who was just as helpless as a newborn.
Zack undid Cloud's belt and pulled his pants and underwear off. Cloud would've blushed, but not even that was under his control at the moment. He followed slowly as Zack steered him to the stream, and tried to yelp when they stepped into the cold water. Goosebumps rose on his skin, and Cloud shivered.
"Yeah, I know it's cold, but this is the best I can do for now. At least we'll be clean," Zack said, and started soaping up Cloud's back, "With this much funk, even a normal person could smell us a mile away."
Zack went silent for a while, and Cloud listened to the sounds around them. Birds and the quiet flow of the stream. Nothing that set off any alarms in his head - not that he would've been able to alert Zack if he did hear something.
Cloud tried not to pay attention as Zack began washing his groin - his movements were brisk and impersonal as he soaped and rinsed Cloud, but he must have been at least a little aware of the fact that he was touching Cloud's most intimate parts. Perhaps that was why he had stopped talking.
That appeared to be the answer, for as soon as he moved to less private parts, Zack started to talk again.
"They're catching up, Cloud," he said, in a much more serious - and honest - tone than his usual bright cheery voice when speaking to Cloud, "I... I don't want to admit it, but I'm scared. If they catch us, we're dead. Or worse, back in the labs."
Cloud wished he could shudder on command.
"I promise," Zack said, "I promise that you won't go back there. Ever."
Zack...
Zack's foot nudged the back of his knee and with the prompt, Cloud was able to bend his knee. He ended up falling sort of sideways into the water with a loud splash. Zack caught him a moment later and hauled him up enough that his head was out of the water.
"Not what I was going for, but okay. This works," Zack said, and started working the bar of soap against Cloud's scalp, "Gonna have some styling issues, Spike - and I still can't believe it's not hair gel."
Zack went silent again, and Cloud floated, head tilted back to look at the sky. In his peripheral vision, he saw Zack's expression grow serious. He rinsed the soap out of Cloud's hair, and Cloud heard him take a deep breath.
"You won't go back to the labs, Cloud. And neither will I."
Zack pushed Cloud's head under the water.
For a moment, Cloud couldn't understand what was happening. And then he realized. Zack was trying to kill him. In just a few more seconds, Cloud was going to have to pull water and with his body still completely unresponsive, he couldn't fight it.
No!
Cloud took a breath of the water and choked. Why was Zack doing this? This couldn't have happened before. Zack wouldn't betray him like this! But... if he died here, Zack would live. Zack was the hero. If Zack were the one to live, he'd be able to save Aerith. He'd defeat Sephiroth just as easily as Cloud had.
Cloud pulled water again. He'd died a few times already, so at least he was familiar with the process. And soon, it wouldn't be his responsibility. He could finally pass his burden to someone else.
Zack's hand suddenly pulled him up. Cloud took a breath of air and choked violently. He was going to throw up. Zack pulled Cloud against him and squeezed him tightly.
"I can't," he said, "I can't, Cloud I'm sorry I'm so sorry."
And then Zack was pulling him out of the stream. He settled Cloud back in their hiding spot and stood up. Cloud was facing upward, and all he could see were the leaves of the bushes making shapes against the sky. He heard Zack staggering back toward the stream.
"What's wrong with you?" Zack yelled, "You're disgusting! Is this supposed to be what a hero is?"
Zack started to cry, loud gasping sobs that made Cloud ache to hear. Cloud wished more than anything that he could go and hold Zack, tell him that it was okay. He would forgive Zack for this. If he'd been able to talk, he would've told Zack to go ahead and do it.
Cloud wasn't sure exactly how long Zack stayed there by the stream crying, but it was long enough that the sky started to darken into evening before he finally stopped. Cloud could hear him moving around, and after a few minutes he returned with Cloud's clothes and dressed him carefully, without a word. When he was done, he lay down next to Cloud and hugged him tightly.
"I am so sorry," he murmured, "Never again. I won't leave you. Ever. I won't abandon you. I'll find a way to save us both."
They were almost to Midgar. Tomorrow. Zack would die tomorrow, unless Cloud could finally force his body to move. But try as he might, he couldn't even get his toes to twitch on command.
"Almost there, Spikey," Zack said, ruffling his hair, "See the glow from the city lights? Ugliest light at the end of the tunnel ever, but hey, it's home."
Zack…
"See my girl again. If she's found another guy, I'm gonna have to cry." Zack's face fell, "I need you to wake up soon, Cloud. I've got a lot of things to say and I don't know if somewhere in there you can hear me."
You're going to die!
"Nnnaack…" Well, that was closer than he'd gotten before.
Zack was going to die if Cloud didn't move. And Cloud would've been through all this for nothing, only without the relief of forgetting it all. This time he would remember Zack's gentle hands, the tender way he cared for Cloud with no idea that Cloud was even able to appreciate it. This time he would know that Zack… loved him.
Zack loved him. Zack had always loved him.
"… aaa…"
Zack wouldn't know that Cloud loved him too.
"Zack…"
"Cloud?" Zack was looking at him, clearly not sure if he was imagining it or not.
"Zack…"
"Cloud!"
"Zack… leave me," Cloud mumbled, amazed that his mouth was finally working.
"Cloud," Zack grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug, "Oh my god, you're really in there?"
Cloud took a deep breath and the smell of Zack's sweat filled his nostrils. Sweat shouldn't smell so nice, should it?
"You have to leave me," Cloud said.
"What are you talking about?" Zack asked, releasing Cloud from the hug. He cupped Cloud's face in his large, callused hand, "I would never leave you."
I know, that's the problem.
"You're going to be okay, Cloud," Zack said, "Everything's going to be all right, okay? I promise."
Zack stroked Cloud's hair back from his face. It was the most incredibly tender gesture Cloud had ever been on the receiving end of. Zack pulled him close and Cloud followed with clumsy movements. He rested his head on Zack's chest as Zack continued to stroke his hair.
"I remember everything," Cloud said, "I just couldn't make my body move. I could see you and hear you, but I couldn't respond."
Zack froze, "Oh god, Cloud… I'm so sorry."
"If I could've said anything, I would've told you to do it."
"But…"
"You'd have a better chance without me."
Zack hugged him tightly again, "I know, but I can't just leave you." He buried his face, "I'm so sorry."
Idiot! Cloud shook his head, feeling tears form in his eyes.
"Please forgive me," Zack whispered, "I was scared. They were catching up to us and I almost convinced myself that it would be kinder to just… Cloud, I'm sorry."
"Zack," Cloud took a deep breath. He could move again. Not very well or with much finesse, but he could move. And he knew what was going to happen. Maybe that was enough. They could both get through this. "I love you."
With extreme effort, Cloud was able to move up enough to press his lips to Zack's. Zack was still for a moment, and then returned the kiss. He kissed the same way he'd done everything else through the entire ordeal – gently, with tenderness and care. Cloud wished that he had known before that Zack loved him dearly, but it would've been too painful. But now… this time, maybe it could be better.
"I love you," he murmured against Zack's lips.
For the next hour, he said nothing else but those words and Zack's name. Zack made love as achingly tender as he kissed, and Cloud felt as though he could simply float away on his bliss. Cloud was still having trouble making his body move properly, but it didn't matter to Zack. Afterwards, Zack pulled Cloud close and held him securely. Cloud laid his head on Zack's chest and listened to his heartbeat.
It'll be better this time.
"Oh, shit!" Zack exclaimed suddenly.
"What's wrong?"
"Aerith!" Zack said in an anguished voice, "What… what is she going to think about this?"
Cloud hid his smile against Zack's skin. That was all? From what he remembered about Aerith, she'd be more likely to ask for pictures than break up with Zack. They could work something out. He'd even be okay with not having sex with Zack again, as long as Zack and Aerith were both alive and happy.
Out loud, he murmured, "She'll understand."
"How can you be sure?" Zack asked.
"The two of us have been through hell. If she can't accept that you wanted and needed some comfort after all of this, then she doesn't deserve you. It's not like you went out and picked up a random girl at some bar."
Zack's worried look wasn't fading, but Cloud wasn't concerned. Aerith would be understanding. Aerith was always understanding.
"By this time tomorrow, you'll have sorted it all out," Cloud reassured him, "Now go to sleep, we've still got a ways to go tomorrow."
"Were you always this bossy?" Zack asked.
Cloud grinned, "You should hear the things I was trying to say while I couldn't talk."
Zack laughed warmly, and gave Cloud a squeeze, "Yeah, I think Aerith's going to just love you."
"I hope so," Cloud said. He had always wondered if Aerith had loved him, or if she'd simply loved the echoes of Zack she saw in him. This time, he would have a chance to find out.
Cloud woke up with Zack's lips on his neck. Zack was kissing him less delicately than he had the night before, but it still felt very nice. Cloud hummed his appreciation. He was looking forward to recovering enough that Zack wouldn't have to be so gentle with him.
"Morning," Zack murmured in his ear.
Cloud smiled, and was stunned by how easy it was. This time, they could get it right and he wouldn't feel like a traitor for smiling. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so right.
"How are you feeling, Spike?" Zack asked.
"Wonderful," Cloud sighed, and blushed. Could he possibly sound more like a love-struck twelve-year-old?
"Well, we're almost out of the woods," Zack said, "And once we get out of them, I'm going to introduce you to Aerith."
"So you aren't worried about her anymore?" Cloud asked.
"Not as much," Zack said, "I mean, I know it's been five years, but I don't think she'd be angry with me about this. We can work something out. Y'know, like a time-share. 'Cause I love her, and I love you. I guess maybe it's selfish, but I want both of you. Is that so bad?"
Cloud shook his head, "I don't think so. I mean, I just want you to be happy." Zack didn't need to know that Cloud was using a plural 'you' in that sentence.
Zack kissed him swiftly, "You're wonderful, you know that?"
Cloud blushed, "And I love you, but there are better times and places for this."
Zack gave him a look of greatly exaggerated disappointment and got to his feet, "Okay, but when we finally get to a bed I'm going to make you pay for making me wait so long."
Cloud flushed brightly, "Looking forward to it."
Zack extended a hand and helped Cloud to his feet. Cloud was pleased to see that he was much less shaky this morning, and didn't need Zack's help to support his weight.
"Never would've figured you for a hedonist, Cloud," Zack joked, keeping a hand on Cloud's arm to help balance him.
"I never would've figured you know the word hedonist," Cloud shot back, "And I'm not a hedonist. I just like you."
"Like? Have I been downgraded from 'love' already? We didn't even have a honeymoon phase!"
They teased each other good naturedly as they made their slow way into the wastelands surrounding Midgar. Cloud tensed up a bit once they started to get onto the barren ground. Zack had died out here before, which was a painful reminder – they weren't out of the woods yet.
"Are you okay?" Zack asked.
Cloud thought about lying, but couldn't bring himself to say that he was alright. He shook his head, "No."
"Do you need to stop and rest for a while?" Zack asked, already stopping.
Cloud shook his head again, "No, I'm just… I'm scared, Zack. I just think that something's going to happen."
"Cloud," Zack said softly, pulling Cloud into a warm hug, "We'll be okay, alright? We're almost there."
"I've just got this really bad feeling…" Cloud said. He wasn't sure if he could explain without Zack thinking he was completely crazy. "It can't be this easy. We –"
Zack kissed him, effectively cutting off Cloud's train of thought. Cloud wrapped his arms around Zack's shoulders and clung to him for balance as Zack deepened the kiss. Cloud whimpered into Zack's mouth. Zack's reputation was well-earned, Cloud was quickly learning. No one had ever kissed him like Zack did, making his knees go weak and every nerve in his body start tingling.
Zack broke the kiss and Cloud gasped for breath.
"I want you," he whispered huskily against Cloud's ear, "So stop giving me that scared look. Come on."
He took Cloud by the hand and tugged him to one of the many rock ledges littering the wasteland. Soon Cloud had his back pressed up against the rock with Zack attacking his neck. He couldn't help moaning from the sensation.
Maybe I am a hedonist…
"That's better," Zack grinned at him, "Now stop worrying. I'll be right back."
"What?"
"Don't worry," Zack repeated, "I just saw something up on the road ahead that looks like it might be trouble. I'll go check it out and come back for you when I'm sure it's safe."
"Zack, no!"
"Stay there," Zack ordered, and sprinted back to the road.
"Zack!" Cloud tried to follow him but his movements were still stiff and unbalanced. He fell over after two steps, "No! Zack!"
Zack didn't stop. Cloud got to his feet. The gray sky, which had been threatening rain all morning, was finally starting to open up. Cloud staggered out to the road, cursing his weak body. Zack was so far ahead of him now, and even if Cloud could catch up to him how much good would he be in the fight?
The rain was starting to come down harder, making Cloud's movements even more difficult as he slipped in the mud.
"Zack!" he yelled, barely able to see from the downpour and blind panic, "Don't leave me!"
Between the slippery mud and his unresponsive legs, it took Cloud what felt like æons to reach the place where Zack was fighting. Eight men, including Zack, were still standing, but the ground was littered with bodies of Shinra soldiers. Zack was bleeding heavily from a number of wounds.
The soldiers were focused on Zack, so Cloud was able to come up behind one unnoticed. Almost without thinking, he reached out, seized the man by the head, and threw him to the ground, breaking his neck in the process.
He killed a second man the same way before the others saw him. Their attention divided, the remaining five went down between him and Zack.
Cloud looked up at Zack and caught his breath. Had he made it in time? Zack was badly injured, but the battle was over.
Zack gave him a weak thumbs up and collapsed.
"Zack!" Cloud screamed, running to him.
He stumbled and fell, and didn't bother trying to pick himself up properly until he finally reached Zack's side.
"Zack!"
Zack tilted his head slightly towards Cloud. "Hey… we were almost there, weren't we?"
"Don't talk like that," Cloud said, "You're going to be okay."
Zack smiled, although it looked like it was causing him pain to do so, "That's what I said to you. I think I'm the one telling the truth here."
"Dammit, Zack!" Cloud yelled, "Damn you, don't you do this to me! Don't you dare die! Not after… all of this… you can't…" it was getting difficult to speak around the lump in his throat.
It's supposed to be better this time! It's supposed to be okay!
"I'm sorry," Zack said softly, "I … need you to promise me something, Cloud."
"No!" Cloud shook his head, "You're going to be okay. You'll be…"
Zack brought his arm up slowly and Cloud caught his hand. He clasped it in both of his own and didn't care that he was crying.
"Zack, please… I need you. I can't lose you after everything that's happened. You can't die."
"I'm sorry," Zack said, "I think… it's your turn to get to be the hero."
He dragged the buster sword closer and tried to hand it to Cloud. Cloud shook his head furiously.
"No, Zack, no, please don't do this, I need you. I love you."
"Take it," Zack ordered, "And tell Aerith… tell her I'm sorry… I made her wait so long."
"No, you're going to tell her yourself, Zack."
"I love you, Cloud," Zack said, "I don't regret… any of it. Just… don't forget me."
Cloud choked on a sob. He didn't want to watch, didn't want to see Zack die again, but he wouldn't betray him by looking away. He held Zack's eyes with his own until they finally slid closed.
"Zack?"
There was no response. Zack's face looked peaceful, as though he was just sleeping. Blinking back tears, Cloud leaned forward to steal one last kiss before Zack's lips went cold. If it had been a fairytale Zack would have opened his eyes at Cloud's kiss, but this was real life, and his eyes didn't open. No color came back to his cheeks.
Cloud screamed.
There would always be something beautiful about Aerith's church, no matter how run down and broken it was. Cloud paused outside the door and took a few deep, steadying breaths. He could do this. He could go inside and talk to her.
He just really didn't want to.
He wanted to see Aerith, but he didn't want to bring her the terrible news. Maybe if he just walked away… maybe if he never even met her she would be safe. Except that then she would never know what had happened to Zack, and spend the rest of her life wondering, like she had last time around. That would be terrible.
He pushed the door open slowly and stepped inside. Even with Zack's death weighing heavily on his heart, something inside of him still lifted to see Aerith kneeling among her flowers, cutting them and placing them in her basket. He might've been happy to watch her for hours, but instead he cleared his throat.
"Aerith?" he asked as she got to her feet.
The girl looked up at him, smiling, "That's me. Who are you?"
"My name is Cloud," he said, "And… Zack told me to tell you that he's sorry. That he made you wait so long."
Aerith's eyes widened in shock, and her lip trembled, "He's dead, isn't he…?"
"I'm so sorry," Cloud said, "I tried to save him. I tried to save him, but he still…"
Aerith dropped her basket of flowers. Cloud reached down to pick it up, and could see that she was trembling like a leaf. Tears were forming in her eyes, and it made Cloud want to cry, too. Telling Aerith that Zack was dead felt like watching him die all over again.
Aerith's hands balled into fists, "I didn't want to believe it... He's really gone?"
Cloud gathered the flowers back into the basket, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to get up. He hadn't just failed Zack, he realized. He'd failed Aerith, who'd been waiting for five years of her life for Zack to return to her. He couldn't stand tall in her presence, not with the tightness in her voice.
"I'm so sorry," Cloud repeated, unable to lift his head to look at her, "He tried. He tried so hard to come back to you. He loved you more than anything. I wanted you to know, so that you wouldn't think he'd just forgotten you."
Aerith slumped against the wall, and slowly slid down it until she was sitting on the planks of the floor, too, her basket of flowers between them. Tears were falling from her eyes, and she wiped them quickly.
"He... said he'd be back soon," she said, "I knew he wouldn't lie to me, but it's been so long. I felt that something must have happened, but I didn't want to believe..." She wiped her eyes again, "He tried?"
"With everything he had," Cloud said, "We... we were so close. He died out there, twelve miles from the city. He... I tried so hard to save him."
Aerith said nothing for what felt like an eternity, and then finally broke their silence with, "How did he die?"
"He… died a hero," Cloud said, "He saved my life. I had been suffering from Mako poisoning, and I couldn't move my body. They were coming after us, and he hid me. He fought for so long... it was beautiful, and he was so strong, I thought he had a chance, but there were too many."
"I see…" Aerith said softly, "So it's too much to hope that he didn't suffer."
"I'm sorry," Cloud said again, "I wish I could tell you that, but I won't lie to you."
Aerith closed her eyes, "He really was coming back to me?"
"Like he promised," Cloud said, "Aerith, he loved you so much..."
Aerith took a deep, shaky breath. "Thank you. It's hard for me to hear this, but thank you for telling me that he didn't just forget about me."
Cloud shook his head, "Don't thank me. I failed him."
He slowly met Aerith's eyes. There was something unreadable in them, but he said, "I won't fail you."
Aerith looked at him questioningly, "What do you mean?"
"Something big is about to happen," Cloud said, "And you're in danger. But I'll protect you. I promise I won't let anything happen to you."
It was all the same. Cloud had hoped that this time around, he would be able to at least save Aerith, but she died again, impaled on Sephiroth's sword while she prayed for the miracle. They defeated Sephiroth again – it was easier this time, now that Cloud already knew what to do. Shortly after that came the first victims of geostigma.
The details could change, but destiny, it seemed, was set in stone. Cloud was so tired of already knowing where his conversations were going. He knew just enough about the future to understand how helpless he was.
The phone rang downstairs. Cloud ignored it, and instead laid his head on his arms and sighed heavily.
"Cloud!" Tifa yelled up the stairs, "Pick up the phone! It's Reeve, he wants to talk to you."
Cloud picked up the phone, "What do you want?"
"I've been trying to get in touch with you since before the remnants came," Reeve said, "I can understand if you aren't in the mood, but one of our members has found a very interesting materia…"
Cloud's heart started hammering, "Interesting how…?"
"It's a bit difficult to explain, but if you'd come over and look at it, I'll do my best."
Cloud nodded, "Fine. I'll come by at eleven tomorrow."
He hung up on Reeve's question, and rested his head in his arms again. Another chance? Could he go through it again?
"I love you, Cloud. I don't regret any of it."
"I won't fail you."
Yes. He could. He'd do it all again. A hundred times, a thousand times if necessary. He would save Zack and Aerith, no matter what it took.
"I can try it," Cloud offered, already knowing what Reeve would say.
Reeve shook his head, "I know you have enough power to use it for a much longer time period than ten minutes, but I wouldn't want to risk it. What if something went wrong?"
Cloud shook his head, "So many things have already gone wrong for me, Reeve. I couldn't make it any worse. Give me the materia."
Reeve gave him a long, scrutinizing look, and then shook his head, "No, Cloud, I think it's a bad idea."
Cloud shook his head slowly. He looked at Reeve sadly, "I knew you would say that."
Reeve didn't even have time to notice the unhinged look in Cloud's eye before he was struck. He crumpled to the floor in a heap and Cloud took the materia from his limp fingers.
"I'll get it right this time," he declared, and cast the spell.