A/N: I do not own Warriors, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, or the Colbert Report.
-Music Playing in background-
Brambleclaw: Welcome to the Daily Show with Brambleclaw! Man, what a program we have for you tonight. The doings in ShadowClan are shadowy, and WindClan has been blown away! But first, we have a new leader in RiverClan! We turn to our Senior RiverClan correspondent, Bluestar, for more.
Bluestar: Yes, Bramble, things here have run amok. Leopardstar has just become leader, and she is kicking the body of the former leader. I go to the warrior's den to find out more.
-A video starts playing-
Bluestar's voice in background: Yes, he's dead. And who will become the new leader? None other, than the deputy, the eeevil Leopardfur.
Brambleclaw: Wait, wait.
-The tape stops-
Brambleclaw: Uh, Blue, Leopardstar's not evil.
Bluestar: Oh, I think she is. Watch this!
-The tape starts again-
Bluestar: See, there she is, kicking his body! Oh, and the elders trying to get her away, she's being attacked by warriors, and, oh! It looks like she's lost her first of nine lives already.
Bluestar's voice in background: I went to ask some of the RiverClan cats to see how they felt.
-Bluestar is seen walking down a staircase that magically appears-
Bluestar: Mothwing! How do you feel about Leopards injustice towards the former leader?
Mothwing: I feel bad for her. Leopardstar's on her 4th life already. I think I need to go help her. She's really not that ba-
Bluestar: Oh yes, she is!
Mothwing: Not rea-
Bluestar: Shut!
Mothwing: But-
Bluestar: Sh! SHHHHH!
-tape cuts off, then turns on again.-
Bluestar: Willowpaw, how do you feel about all of this?
Willowpaw: Whoa! Who are you?
Bluestar: I'm uh Bluestar…
Willowpaw: Aren't you dead?
Bluestar: Well, uh, yeah.
-Leopardstar jumps onto the Highrock and calls her Clan. The Elders have managed to get the body away.-
Leopardstar: Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the highrock for a Clan meeting! It has come to my attention that we need a new deputy. I say these words before StarClan. Mistyfoot will be the new deputy of RiverClan!
-Bluestar sees Mistyfoot and walks toward her in a daze-
Real Bluestar: (whispering) Mistyfoot, my darling daughter…
Mistyfoot: WHAT?!
-Bluestar wakes up from her daze-
Bluestar: Wha? Huh? Oh! How do you feel about being the new deputy?
Mistyfoot: Oh it would be great, except that our leader is a lunatic with three lives left. I probably should get ready to become a leader soon!
-The tape ends-
Bluestar: So you see, Bramble, things are always well that end well. (whispering to audience) Except when your leader's a crazy lunatic with three lives left!
Yay! My first story! You like? Please review! Up next is junior ShadowClan correspondent, Jaypaw!