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The shock she felt come over her couldn't be summed up in words which resulted in the sudden cry she couldn't know if it came from her mouth or somewhere else altogether. The way her hands flew to her face, the unnatural way her hair fell in front of her, lengthened by weeks of not going to the hair salon… All of it felt scary. And seeing the red in her fingers even more so. Looking out the window to her left she could see a middle-aged man trying to check if she was alright.
Alright? Sure, I am. She thought. I'm still alive, I barely feel or can make sense of anything. I'm great.
Her wide-eyed stare was broken when she reminded herself to deal with the situation at hand. She was used to having her days planned out in front of her without a single thing to mar them. But ever since being kidnapped, life seemed to enjoy throwing her off.
She had finalized her business plan to open up her very own restaurant when the place she was eyeing no longer wanted to sell. Her friends no longer seemed interested in hanging out much with her, everyone busy with their own lives and exciting plans. Not even Lily, who she had helped find her very own "soul-mate". It wasn't that she couldn't find other friends; mostly, it was the fact that she felt too tired to even try. This was the time of her life when she was supposed to feel like life was settled and her only worry would be to live it. However, she felt like her life was anything but settled.
Deciding to deal with it, she opened her car door and left the confines of what now felt like a cage, her breathing erratic and anxious.
The blur of everything that happened next seemed to be accompanied by the muteness in her head. She couldn't make out a word that she was saying or even what she was responding to. She could vaguely make out her car being taken off the road as well as the other car that had rammed into her back. In the back of her mind, she remembered telling the police what had happened and how much the other driver was apologizing to her, that he was late picking up his kids and wife. And she knew that all she could think of was that they were waiting for him, so she told him to not worry about the incident and take a cab to get to them, take them home. She would deal with this and he didn't have to worry, she wouldn't demand his insurance pay the damage done to her car.
But now, standing in the police station by herself, she frowned as she thought about everything going on around her. She had no car, her brand new apartment was 5 miles away and the battery on her phone died even before she got in her car, which was now 4 hours ago.
Truthfully, she couldn't think of anything better at that moment than walking for a long time. Her head certainly needed time to think and she needed fresh air like never before.
However, as soon as she stepped outside, the muteness in her head stopped. And the voices that emerged kept shouting and berating her. Mostly, her family. She knew they'd be mad at her and assume she had been driving carelessly. Her dad would definitely flip that she didn't demand that the other driver got the punishment he deserved. Her mother would go on and on about safe driving and how important it was to be cautious all the time. Her brothers… well, they would just get on board with whatever their parents would say. And the worst part was that she gave them all the ammunition and all the reasons to doubt her, to see her as a childish, spoiled person with no awareness of reality.
Looking at her surroundings, she wasn't surprised to find she was halfway to her place. She may not be very athletic but she was a fast walker nonetheless. It was something she had always maintained. Thinking about it more carefully, she knew she needed to. Walking away and fast was always in the back of her mind.
Now that she thought about it, running away had always been in her thoughts. There was a time after learning she was adopted that she kept certain prized possessions in a bag in case her parents ever decided to give her back. Laughing bitterly, she couldn't imagine her parents in a million years ever doing anything like that to either her or her brothers but the doubt had been there when she was a kid. Maybe the doubt faded over time but the insecurity she felt about it never truly left her.
Exhaling, she closed her eyes as she approached her apartment building. See, nothing to worry about, no need to worry or bother anyone over this.
And as the week passed, she felt stronger in her decision to not tell anyone about such a small thing. She got the car fixed at her own cost; she met with the other driver who she now knew was called Grant Howell to see if everything had turned out okay with his own car; and she definitely managed to cover up the cut and bruise on the side of her face.
Despite holding it all together, it seemed like something had changed in her. She didn't know if literally being shaken up had really set in motion a transformation inside her but the truth was that the little things that she was used to doing weren't there anymore. The thought of even trying to be the "old" her was exhausting, so when her mother invited her for dinner, she knew she had to snap out of it.
Grace wasn't easy to fool so she had to really give her what she was used to. The laughter had to be easy and constant; the smile couldn't leave her face for too long and her mood couldn't turn pensive at the drop of a hat. Everything had been so easy before. All her life she had been used to being their ray of sunshine, her unwavering need and passion to make everyone happy and feel better around her. She wasn't like that because it was organic for her. No, what was her organic in her was her need to love and be loved. What was organic was her absolute fear of letting them see one ounce of sadness or darkness in her. She was their sun.
From early on, she knew that her brothers treasured her and looked at her in a protective way. Being overwhelming in her effusiveness was just the way it turned out, sometimes her affection truly overtaking her in a way she couldn't explain.
Her parents had been so in love with her and their family that she could never be anything but supportive of all good things coming their way. She knew how tough it had been for them to deal with Christian's issues and how mad they would get at Elliot for being so irresponsible in his youth. She used to go downstairs at night to eavesdrop and see what was going on that their parents would feel most concerned about. And she vowed each time she wasn't doing it again ever.
But the fear that she could be one cause for concern for her parents kept her awake until she went down and listened in on whatever they were discussing. Truth be told, she learned a lot that way. She got to know of both her brothers' pasts through little tidbits; a giant puzzle forming in her head until every last piece fell into its rightful place.
The worst moment was figuring out her own story. She never asked them upfront about it even thought they were very honest and open to discuss anything with her. The questions never left her mouth though, since she didn't want to lose what she had up until then: this fantasy she designed in her head where she was just a child her parents couldn't have biologically so they got someone else to carry it for them. So stupid, she knew, but such a refuge in her little mind.
In the end, she was just like any other kid who had been abandoned at birth. In a dumpster, of course. As bad as Christian got it for much longer than any child deserved to endure, his mother still held on to him, in her own misguided way of loving him. And Elliot was unfortunate to have both parents die in an accident, with no close family ready or willing to look after him.
I shouldn't have come… If this is the stuff I'm thinking about, I should just stay away from them.
Knocking on the door felt strange. This had been her house for so long before she decided it was time to make it on her own a little while after the kidnapping.
"Hello, Miss Grey!" Gretchen greeted her with an honest smile. She knew it was honest because she had seen her smile at her sisters-in-law and that was definitely not the same she was getting at the moment.
"So I leave the house and I'm back to Miss Grey?" She smirked and reached for the blond-haired woman's hand for a reassuring squeeze. "Hi, Gretchen, how are you?"
"Very well, Mia, thank you. It's really good to see you." Making her way to the living and dining room area, she is not surprised to see her mother talking animatedly with Ana and Kate. The rather swollen belly on one of the young ladies put a smile on everyone's face. And the ring on the other one was met with as much enthusiasm. Finally, she could see her brothers well on their way to the happiness they both deserved.
She knew that Elliot wanted and craved what he finally got with Kate, even if his laidback attitude didn't show how much all of this meant to him. And Christian… well, if the smile on his face was anything to go by, he was as happy as anyone could get. When their little boy got there, they'd probably have to be sedated or else their smiles would probably stay glued on to their faces. She couldn't wait to see it.
"Hey, Mia! Come here for a second." Christian came up to her when he saw her coming into the room. Reaching for her hand, he steered her towards the window area, close to where Elliot was inspecting the job that had been done over the beginning of January.
"Hey, Princess Sparkles." Elliot greeted her, distractedly, but still managing to add in a joke for good measure.
"Hey, Elliot." She just rolled her eyes, not in the mood for retorts.
Christian simply frowned at her response, deciding not to say anything about it. "Mia, I heard from Taylor that an occurrence has been reported about a week ago concerning you and another man… Do you want to tell us what that's about?"
Of course, Taylor would find a way to get a sniff on this thing. She had won the argument over the holidays about not needing a CPO running after her. What was the point? She had one at the time she was kidnapped and she promised to be more careful about who she talked to and where she went.
"Not particularly. Nothing I didn't handle myself, Christian, don't worry." And the added smile softens the blow, she thinks. "Come on, forget about that. Tell me the names you and Ana have been thinking of for little Blip!"
Distraction wasn't very effective around Christian but it worked when it came to his unborn son and his wife. "We're thinking family names, but I can't tell you exactly what those are because Ana doesn't want to jinx anything. She's just reading everything on pregnancy and babies and I think it's freaking her out a bit."
Mia smiled. She knew that if Ana was freaking out a bit, then Christian had to be borderline panicking with freakishly scary scenarios in his mind. The loss of control in this situation had to be driving him mad.
"I get that. So long as you don't call him Christian that's cool." She retorted, trying to get herself back in her usual groove. Grinning, she added. "I think we can only survive one moody Christian at a time."
"Let's just pray the kid is calm like Ana." Elliot shrugged and bent down to inspect more thoroughly the junctions in the windowsill.
Christian just glared at Elliot, not caring to let out a retort. He was never too fond of being made fun of. But in a way, Ana loosened him up a bit so bickering was no longer cut short by his temper. He could go with the flow now. One thing hadn't changed though, he could see the signs in front of him and right now Mia was sending out quite a few that got him worried. Her smiles were fewer than normal and she wasn't hanging on to his arm, being her affectionate self.
She saw Kate heading her way while she put the dishes away in the machine, a move that she thought would guarantee her some time to recollect her thoughts and give her the right energy to make it through the evening.
"Hey, Mia… Can I talk to you for a second?" She asked, her quiet voice giving away that the subject was serious.
"Oh… sure, Kate. Let me just take these last few things and I'll be right out on the back patio." Kate nodded and gave her a little smile. Knowing Kate, a gesture like that was not to be taken lightly; whatever it was that she wanted to talk about, she was trying to give Mia a sense of comfort before going right for the jugular. Mia gulped as she tried to think of what she could possibly want to talk to her about.
Joining her future sister-in-law, she sat down on the stairs that led to her parent's backyard. The amount of happy memories she had of that place was enough to calm her.
"So, Ethan has been trying to call you…" Kate started, unsure. Why did she have to be put in the middle of this mess? She was already regretting helping her brother out with this. Although, when he begged her to get Mia to talk to him, she knew she had to try. Not only for her big brother but for Mia as well. She liked the girl. That was saying plenty; she could count the people she liked on her ten fingers.
"Oh…" Mia wasn't naïve, she knew Ethan wanted to talk to her and make it official that they were no longer together. She didn't need him to call. Honestly, she kept him out of her life ever since the kidnap incident. It was the wrong time to try for something she knew she wasn't ready for, as much as her heart had already decided for her. How odd that for once she was able to control her instincts to show her love and adoration for someone. Maybe it was just her innocence… the fact that she had never felt what Ethan now evoked in her. She couldn't fail at this, even if it meant waiting and giving it time…
"I know… I got his messages saying he needed to talk to me about something serious." She sighed. "It's okay, I know he is moving on and probably is seeing someone else… We… We never even defined whatever the hell we were doing so it's okay." The smile she was able to muster hurt her more than she could say but there was nothing else for her to do. She had to reassure Kate that she was fine so that Ethan would know that it was okay to move on; that she wouldn't expect anything from him other than friendship, hopefully.
Kate frowned and looked at her fidgeting hands. Oh, boy, this is going to be worse than I thought… She knew Mia would be understanding but she wasn't sure that was the best reaction for the girl standing next to her and right now she wanted to kill her brother for putting her in that position. "Mia… it's not really like that… The thing is that he had been with someone before you met him right after he came back from college."
Mia looked intently at Kate, trying to see where this conversation was going. Was he back with his ex-girlfriend? She had said she'd be okay with that… even it that had been a blatant lie. "And he's back with her, is that it?"
Looking into dark eyes that Kate noticed had green hues in their irises' edges, she saw the vulnerability that she knew had always been there, lurking in the shadows. "She's in Seattle now…" Spit it out, Kate! She screamed at herself. "She's pregnant…" She gulped, trying to get it out as fast as possible.
The shock in Mia's eyes was enough to see that she didn't have to say anything else; she had gotten the message, loud and clear.
"Ethan's going to be a father…" Mia whispered.