"Oh Ezio, I've waited more than two hundred years to meet you, and you are more than I expected. Of course, you would know who I am?"

Ezio shook his head in disbelief.

"...God?"

The apparation grinned widely, his perfectly lined teeth flashing in the bright sun that shone from between the bare branches of the winterized trees.

"Close! Hahaha! No, please guess again!"

"But you glow like God's supposed to! And you have wings! Or... are they wings? Are you an angel? Have you come to take me to my father and mother?"

He sounded a bit scared at the last part; his pupils were getting smaller.

"Of course not! I'm no diety, Ezio. And I don't have wings. That's just my tunic. One last guess."

Ezio seemed relieved and began to think hard. He habitually put his hand on his chin and began to stroke the stubs of his newly growing beard.

"...You said two hundered years, right? So you're long dead, but you're not immortal? But you're not mortal, either..."

"Correct, correct, and... I'm somewhat immortal. Does that make any sense?"

Ezio shook his head. The apparation seemed exasperated.

"...Hmmm, well, I got the Apple and was able to transfer my conciousness-"

"The Apple of Eden? Like, ithe/i Apple?"

"Yes, yes, ithat/i Apple! Now, like I was saying-"

"I know who you are!"

"Finally..." he grumbled.

Ezio threw his arms into the air with a huge smile on his face.

"You're me!"

"WHAT."

"Yes! You're me from another life!"

"...That... that doesn't even-"

Ezio crossed his arms and shifted his weight onto one foot, a perfect pouting stance.

"...Um... I think I should just tell you..." he chose his words with caution.

"...Fine."

"I'm Altaïr. You're my descendant."

"..."

Ezio had to think for a second.

"..."

"...Well?"

"...no."

"What do you mean, no?"

"No. That's not possible. You'd be dead."

Altaïr smacked his face with his hand.

"We just had this discussion two seconds ago..."

"Memory loss. It runs in my...uh... well, I just kinda developed it."

"Hm. Well, since I've completely obliterated any chance of coming to you with your eyes filled with awe or wonder or something, I'll just-"

"Can I call you gramps?"

"-ah... Excuse me?"

"Yeah! Gramps!"

"No! I'm not-"

"Hey Gramps, what're ya doing here, anyways?"

"...I'm going to be your new teacher. For fighting. And don't call me-"

"Yesss!" Ezio pretended to stab an enemy with a pretend hidden blade. "Hya! I'm gonna be a real assassin!"

Altaïr chuckled to himself. "This isn't going to be easy, is it?"

Ezio stopped and smiled, eyes squinting with joy.

"Nope! Hahaha!"

"Haha! Jeez, if I'd known..."

iYou're a cute kid... well, not really a kid... just... like a kid?/i

"Hey Gramps?"

"I'm- don't call me that."

"Gramps?"

"Fuck... what?"

Ezio whimpered.

"What did I do, Jesus Christe?" (Pronounced Yay-sus Cree-stay)

"You cursed..."

Altaïr gave him an unamused stare.

"Are you serious?"

Ezio nodded, his eyes started shining.

"Ugh, I'm sorry, filiis, I meant no harm."

"..."

"...Well?"

Ezio's face was transformed into one big smile.

"...hahahahahahahahaha!"

"Why the hell are you laughing like a excors?"

He stopped laughing and his face became deathly serious.

"What's an excors?"

"...An idiot. I called you an idiot."

"Thanks, gramps. Real confidance booster there."

Altaïr groaned.

"Lets get to training. And don't call me 'gramps.'"

"What should I call you then?"

Altaïr started walking towards the setting sun.

"Melius quam."

"What's that mean?" Ezio hurried to catch up.

"Cooler than you."

"What? No!"

"Well what about just... teacher?"

"Boring. But whatever. What about me?"

"I know just the right name for you: magna BOMBULUM."

"What's ithat/i mean?"

"...Hahaha!"

"What?"

"It means 'big fart!'"

"Oh, you son of a-"

Altaïr caught the rolling punch with the palm of his hand. He pulled Ezio closer so that they were almost touching noses. Ezio's face radiated red heat.

i"Youi/ are the son, techically. And..."

Ezio ground his teeth together to keep from squealing as Altaïr clenched his fingers over his fist.

"You... really suck, Ezio."

He flashed a smile in his direction as he walked off toward the city of Firenze. (Or Florence?) He stopped after two steps and lazily held the bottom of Ezio's chin with two fingers. He staired into his eyes, inspecting their color.

iHe has such beautiful eyes.../i

"...Ezio Auditore de Firenze. A fine name, indeed. To be named after such a place of wondorous beauty and magic... yes... very... unfitting for you."

Altaïr smirked and dropped his arm to his side, striding off once again. Ezio's eyebrows knitted together into a frown.

"Oh, you... you... bring it!"

"You fart!" Altaïr smiled as he got the desired affect.

"Old Man!" He retorted, bending his knees and bringing his fists up.

iAlright! He's a fighter!/i

"Well well. Look at you. Let's have at it, shall we?"

A click, and Altaïr's blade flashed bright white in the sun.

"Hic!" Ezio gulped.

Altaïr took of the gauntlet and threw it to Ezio, who caught it with surprise. He gave him a quizzical look.

"Here. Take it. It wouldn'd be fair otherwise."

Ezio strapped it on while asking.

"But don't you need it?"

"I have another one. When I die, they'll both be yours."

"Aren't you already-"

"Shut up and go for the kill, else I'll get you first!"

He ran towards Ezio with speed and grace. Ezio barely avoided the collision and parried the blade away with clumsiness on an acceptable level. The attack continued.

iWhoa! He's fast for an old man!/i

"Oops." Altaïr cut upwards too fast for Ezio to avoid, which resulted in staining the tip of his blade a shining crimson.

Ezio screamed with pain as he knelt on the ground, hands clawing at his upper lip.

"What... the FUCK!"

"Oops."

"OOPS? OOPS! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, OOPS?"

Altaïr shrugged.

"Oops. I didn't mean to. You should have blocked it, anyways."

"Damn you! You could have hurt me... worse!"

"It's just a scratch, okay? You're just being a whimp!"

Altaïr sat on the ground next to him, retracting his blade, and motioning for Ezio to do the same. He didn't. Instead he shed silent tears. Altaïr rolled his eyes and pulled back his hood so Ezio could see his own face for the first time. Pointing to his upper lip, he said gently "Look, we match now, alright? I had the same thing done to me when I was your age. Except it wasn't my teacher."

Ezio wiped the tears from his eyes and nodded, looking up at him with big sad brown eyes. "Was it... was it a bad guy?"

Altaïr laid his head back towards the sky and exhaled deeply.

iJeez, he's too cute. He's just bursting with it! How could this be the killing machine I have to make him into? I can't! /i

"Yeah... yeah, it was."

"Oh... I- I'm sorry..."

"N-No! Don't be! It's okay! Really..."

"But you just said I was a whimp!"

"Well f- I mean, never mind! Forget I said that! You're not a whimp! You- you... I..."

Ezio grabbed each side of Altaïr's face and pulled it down to his, cutting off the rest of his sentance. Altaïr groaned as their lips touched, putting a hand underneath his head and pushing his tounge in between Ezio's lips.

iF- finally! ...No! Shit, I can't believe I'm doing this! This... this is so wrong./i

Ezio whimpered as Altaïr pulled away meekly, his stomach twisting into solid knots and his soul bleeding from the thorns of reality.

"...I- I'm sorry... It's just not right..."

"Alty..." He whimpered.

Altaïr put one hand over his eyes and used the other to push away Ezio's face.

"Don't call me that, it makes it harder for me!"

"No!" he whimpered with even more sadness and dejection.

He tried to cling onto Altaïr's arm but he shook him off.

"Please!" Ezio whispered frantically. "Please!"

Altaïr shook his head as a tear rolled down his cheek.

"No. It's not right. I can't do it. We're related. I just..."

He hugged himself and doubled over, his head resting on the soft grass.

"I'm so sorry..." he choked out.

Ezio's heart was broken for the very first time.