As promised, welcome to my ongoing piece about Han & Leia's earliest years as parents. I don't utilize the novels or comics, as I haven't read them. (Though I'm sure I've picked up things here & there.) The canon I'm following is only the films, plus the detail from Disney of Leia and Han having a baby nine whole months after Endor.

I'm calling & tagging their son as Ben for now, but this is absolutely a safe read for anyone who strongly dislikes TFA – sub in any name for Ben and the story will be identical.

Prologue

Her day went something like this:

"Hey, sweetheart, thought you were––"

"Captain Solo? Hi––"

"Carlist? What the – what're you doing on Leia's – is she okay? What's going on?"

"She's – well she's fine, she's right here, but––"

"Well if she's right there put her on!"

"Princess – can you––?"

"Mm, ah – yes, sorry – mm – one second––"

"Carlist, the fuck is going on––?"

"Hello dear – hi, I'm so sorry––"

"Kriff Leia, are you alright? The hell is––"

"I sort of – I stepped out of a meeting early, and Carlist followed me into the hall – you know how you think this sort of political thing is incredibly boring? Well, apparently your daughter agrees with you and thought it would be fun to make things a bit more interesting-"

"Interesting how."

"Even though she's four weeks ahead of schedule – how quickly can you get over to medical, do you think?"

"Interesting how."

"Oh, you know what I mean, the pain from last night wasn't cramping and my water broke in the middle of a presentation – so I'll meet you at medical in a few… Han. Han?"

Han cleared his throat. "So uh, how pregnant are we talking here?" He'd been doing his best to keep his tone nonchalant; Leia could tell this without looking at him as she continued scrubbing the dishes. She wasn't sure what had possessed her to tell him over dinner, as all it had done was make the meal itself awkward and left the food untouched, but at least she could use the dishes to avoid discussion. Ah, avoidance – always at my rescue.

"It's not really something that's partial..." she hedged.

"No, like – how long–"

"Oh. Oh, this is actually quite rich – it's the end of the first third, apparently."

"That's pretty pregnant."

"It's rich because it points to a... conception," she said delicately, "right around––"

He let out a genuine, surprised laugh. "Ahh, then it's all your fault, you loved those little huts too much."

Leia smiled a little to herself. "And being under the stars – it's not too late, though, if that's what you're asking. To not go through with it, I mean."

His voice seemed genuinely neutral, curious: "Is that what you want?"

So she followed his lead: "Honestly? I'm not...totally sure what I want." She looked into the sink, lips pursed: "How about you?"

"Same here."

She could feel him right behind her, looking at her, and sighed, turning to face him. "I – I don't know, for one thing I feel supremely young, way too young, but I'm always the youngest person in the room so no matter there. Otherwise... oh, I don't know, Han. I would understand if you were wary if only because we've really only been together for – how long?"

He frowned. "Yeah, but you know that's a shit way to measure it."

"Do you think so?"

"We've got two decades worth of history at least."

"At least," she echoed amusedly, a smile playing on her lips.

"S'it make a difference if I said I was already plannin' on asking you to marry me?"

"I know you're committed to me, Han. That isn't it..."

"So talk to me and we'll figure it out."

Oh, she loved him. "I'm just – I like our lives, right now," she admitted. "They are dangerous and they're certainly very exhausting physically but I do like them. And I don't know if I'm ready to give them up just yet."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Y'think it might be a woman thing, too?"

"Watch yourself, hotshot."

"No, I mean - worryin' about your life having to change more? 'Cause for me it's like – it's us, it's just us doing what we're doing but with, y'know, an infant. Which is scary as hell, don't get me wrong – I don't know if I'll be any good at that. But seems like maybe you feel like you'll have to change more – wondering if it's a woman thing. 'Gender thing,' or whatever you're always saying."

Gods, she really, really loved him. "You've been reading some of my books?" she teased. "Space Bodies, Space Selves?"

"Nah, Princess, just listenin.' Am I right though?"

"You know you always are, don't make me say it."

"Well listen. I can't promise you nothing would change, or that people won't say shit they shouldn't. But I can say that I love you, who you are now. This Leia. And m'not gonna let anything take her away an' tell her she has to become some cute little housewife or some shit, alright? If I had a kid the person I'd want to have a kid with is you."

She smiled at him broadly, striding over to kiss his cheek. Felt herself feel settled and safe as she stood on her tiptoes, even if the matter wasn't totally decided yet. "And I, you."

––you could make it," she said drily, her smile teasing but genuine.

Han grimaced and kissed her hard. She could feel him trembling, just slightly. "You're okay? Everything's okay?"

"Everything's okay, promise. Catch your breath, flyboy, we've got plenty of time."

"You see a doctor yet, or––"

"Only briefly, but I'm sure he'll circle back. It's not exactly like there are any other births happening."

"Right, right." He cleared his throat, turned. "Thanks for gettin' her here and all––"

"Of course," Carlist said, smiling and standing up to go. "And you'll do wonderfully, Princess. But please, do keep everyone posted – there's no excuse to have us all worrying."

––worrying about something," Luke was saying.

"That's not a look," Leia said, frowning, "I don't have a worrying look."

"Well, maybe not. Could be that's just your normal face."

"Very mature, Jedi master."

"Hey, we've got a whole childhood of teasing to make up for!"

"Can we skip the babyish part, maybe?"

"And go with teenagers? Sure – Lei-a, could you stop messing around with my friends?"

"Friends, plural?"

"Better watch yourself, you know," he chastised, his voice mock-stern, clucking his tongue. "Don't wanna end up an unwed teen mother…"

Leia cringed. "Speaking of which…"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"... well there will be a wedding, and I'm not a teenager––"

"Leia! You're not serious!"

"... I'm fairly serious."

"You're pregnant!"

"... Yes."

"And Han's the––!"

"Well, I'm not 'messing around' with any of your other friends," she said, dry but grinning.

"And you're going to be married?"

"It's quite a lot, isn't it?"

"I guess, but – I'm just so happy!"

––happy all the time, hell – but yeah, you okay with that? Sweetheart?"

"Mm? Okay with what?"

"Kid's here, wants to come in, practically bouncing off the walls."

"Luke's here? Already? I thought he was––"

"Y'know, he'll speed across the galaxy to make sure he's not missing a chance to third wheel––"

"So romantic, me and my dilating cervix."

"Yeah, make sure you mention your cervix when he comes in, he'll love that." She heard Han pull back the curtain the tiniest amount – all of the base's little rooms in medical were curtained compartments, and she could hear the rush of battle wounds being treated, training accidents bandaged, all around her – and say gruffly, "Yeah, you're good, c'mon in."

"Leia!" Luke rushed over to her bed, hugging her tightly. "How're you feeling? Are you okay? I got your bag––"

"You forgot my bag?!"

Han muttered something to the effect of not wasting time searchin' for a kriffin' bag.

"But you're okay," Luke pressed, perching next to her.

"I've been better, I'm not incredibly comfortable but I'm okay, yes. She's okay."

"He."

"Thank you, Captain," she said, saluting. "We're okay, everything's fine, just a bit chaotic – ah––" She scrunched up her face as another contraction hit, then groaned in frustration – "Stop it Han – mm, you don't need to get up – I'm f––"

He was there already, propping her up the way she liked and rubbing her back, squeezing her hand tight. "Nice try," he murmured, "you're not gettin' rid of me so easy."

Luke, who seemed a bit out of his depth watching his best friend murmur to his laboring sister and massage her through the open back of her gown, reached out awkwardly and squeezed her shoulder. "You're... doing really good, Lei!"

Leia, one hand on the still-shocking hill of her stomach and the other, the one with the slender steel ring, clutching the hand of her very new husband, got a glimpse her brother's serious-anxious expression and laughed until the pain settled.

–– settle on something, I do hate calling her The Baby."

"And I hate that you're calling our son 'her,' but I don't complain – pass me that wrench, will ya?"

"I like your mother's name," Leia pressed on, bending as best she could to pass it before straightening up authoritatively. "Jaina? What do you think, Luke?"

"Dunno, what was she like?" Luke asked casually, popping another crisp into his mouth and leaning back in his seat in the Falcon's lounge. Leia was ready to murder him, she was sure – how many times did she have to say that the smell was hideous? Didn't he know it would linger for weeks? "I mean, was she a good person, all that?"

"I – I suppose I don't really know," Leia admitted, frowning. Another surreal reminder of how much there was she had left to learn about him, of how quickly everything had happened. "Was she?"

Han paused, then conceded, "Yeah. She was a good woman. Now that bolt – not that one, yeah that's the one, thanks sweetheart."

"Well, good," she said in a voice she hoped sounded decisive. "The galaxy is always in need of more good women. It's a lovely name, anyway."

"What about your mom's name, Lei? Breha?" Luke piped up. "Rey for short?"

"You're both wasting your damn time, I told ya, he's a boy––"

"Well what do you propose in the case of that unlikely scenario, then?" Leia asked hotly.

Even though Leia couldn't see his smug grin, she was sure she could hear it. "Well, Chewie's son is called Lumpy, was always fond of that…"

"I could kill you."

"Hey! Maybe it'll be twins! One of each? Then everyone wins!" Luke teased. "I heard that it runs in families..."

"I could kill you both."

––both been up for hours, I figured you might want some too."

"Thanks, kid."

Leia frowned sleepily. "Skywalker… d-dammit… you said both and yet you have brought me… mm, nothing."

"I thought you couldn't have––"

"She knows she can't, she just likes to remind everyone every few hours, right sweetheart?"

"I would just like it… mmm, acknow-lived – ledged – that I've been up longer than anyone else, so…"

"Yep, and you're doing amazing––"

"I take it back, I don't want the fawning, you can keep it, just let me suffer in peace." She yawned, then moaned. "Oh, gods––"

"I got ya," Luke said, as though she were an errand, and he propped her up and squeezed her hand and rubbed her back and whispered enthusiastically while she groaned.

"Ah – can you pass me the w-water – with the straw?"

"Yup," he said, grabbing it from the table beside her and holding it to her lips.

"W'time is it, actually?"

"'Bout four."

"Oh…"

"How're you feelin'?"

"Tired."

"Pshh, I'm sorry, is this battle-ready General Organa, is this I'll-take-midnight-watch Organa, is this how many rounds in one night Leia Organa?" he teased lightly.

"Thanks for that, love that!" Luke called, sipping his kaffe.

"We've been here twelve hours––!"

"Eh, since when do you sleep anyway, Princess?"

"Oh dunno, since my husband is always telling me––"

"And anyway this ain't even, like – in the top ten of hard shit you've done."

"HAN, it's a baby. Your baby, you stupid – tall – nerf – your entire baby, out of my vagina, Han." She dropped her voice low, placed her hands on the span of her narrow hips: "Han, have you seen my vagina?"

Luke moaned again, and Han laughed: "They give you something? 'Cause it seems great, think I can get some too?"

"They didn't give me anything, laserbrain, I told you, I'm just really, really – ahh! – really, mMMm – really––"

"Really, Han, I couldn't care less what you wear," Leia was saying, her voice dismissive but still fond. (This was actually not a lie — between trudging through the pain of pregnancy and trying to construct a government from the ground-up, putting together their small wedding ceremony was the last thing on her mind.) She frowned, then looked up from her datapad and added a caveat — "So long as it's clean."

"Well, shit, there goes most of my options," he teased, grinning crookedly. "What about you, then, what're you gonna wear? Big fluffy white gown?"

"Mm, uh-uh," she said distractedly, sipping her tea and continuing to skim the report in front of her. "Traditionally it would be the first time you see me in not white, so… whatever color I want, really. It's meant to surprise you but – any preferences?"

"How about red?" he murmured, his mouth suddenly against her neck. "You never wear red…"

"It'd certainly fit with the blaster-bolt wedding theme," she quipped, rolling her eyes and shaking him off. "Should I wear netted stockings too?"

"I wouldn't mind. Hey, y'gonna be reading those all through the ceremony, Princess?"

She batted her lashes up at him innocently, making her eyes huge. "Is that not what we agreed upon?"

"Kriff, you're gonna be pushing the kid out while scanning reports, I swear."

"Mmhm, that's how childbirth works, you got it––"

He had his arms around her waist then, swaying her back and forth. "Yes ma'am, and he's gonna grow up and ask, what'd you name me Alan for, Mam? And you'll say, oh, hush, Allied Forces Of The New Republic Organa, I'm busy—"

Leia scoffed, twisting to kiss him lightly. "Please, Iwill be carrying around our daughter all day, and all these diplomats and politicians will coo and say oh, she's so sweet – what's Millie is short for – Millicent? And I'll say no no, it's short for Millenniumfalcon. Millenniumfalcon? Oh yes, I'll say, it's family name, it's from Alderaan, very traditional."

"Very traditional, just like you an' me."

(As it were, she ended up settling for an impossibly pale pink, a departure from her favorite deep blues and greens. So he was surprised, his throat tightening when he saw her, and she was pleased. Later he'd tell her it wasn't the color though so much as seeing her in something fitted for the first time since she'd started to show – she'd been wearing oversized Alliance-issued clothing more out of necessity than anything else. And then there she was, calm and content and a little amused, wearing something that clung to the swollen curve of her belly and breasts and marked this bizarre, impossible future they'd half-discussed as suddenly, radiantly near. Plus her lingerie was scarlet, just for kicks...)

––kicks, movement, anything like that?"

"No changes that I've– mm – noticed but I've been – a little distracted––"

"Then there's no reason to be worried - the baby's looking perfectly healthy, but we should talk about you––"

"Isn't it true, though, that you've never actually delivered a baby before? So how can you possibly be sure she's okay––"

"Princess, as our chief medic I really can assure you that the theory is quite simple and with this being a military base, it's not unusual for areas of expertise to be more––"

(The conversation halted briefly as she screamed through another contraction, her vision blacking for a moment.)

"Princess – your pulse is racing, you've described feeling dizzy, confused – you're close to pushing but with your blood pressure this high it seems quite unsafe to move forward – some pain management could make a major difference––"

"I said no needles. Han, we said no needles."

"Yeah sweetheart, I know. But you've gotten through 'em before, since, remember when we did those vaccines an' all? Was no problem––"

"Not for her being born, I don't want––"

"Hey Leia, why don't you lie back down?" Luke said suddenly, his voice slow in that Jedi-master-I'm-trying-not-to-betray-my-intentions way. "You look so pale."

"I'm fine––"

"Lei, c'mon, lie back down, alright? I gotcha, real slow."

"I know you don't want needles," Han was saying, stroking the sloppy braid he's done himself hours earlier, "but you know shit never goes as planned for us – and you heard him, though, then you can push soon – and he'll be here. I promise it won't be so bad. I'll make sure, okay?"

"... Okay."

She watched the room blur with activity, and then Han was looking her in the eye and there was something on her back and Luke was saying, "Five, four, three, two––"

––two over here?" Leia asked lightly, her arm around his waist as they approached a group in mess.

"Sure, we can scoot," Dameron had said, making room on the bench of the long table.

"Solo, Mrs. Solo," Wedge greeted them, acknowledging their return to base after the mission-cum-wedding.

Not missing a beat, Han had said gruffly, "Get it it right, kid, s'Mrs. Organa."

-Organa? Hello?"

"Mm? Wha?"

"There you go, scared me there for a second––"

"Sorry, I – Han, s'this?"

"S'oxygen sweetheart, 'cause your breathing's a little haywire, don't mess with it – hey, okay, I gotcha, gotcha – breathe––"

"What's––"

"Just ignore 'em, sweetheart, they're just setting you up and all – you're okay, you're all okay – baby's gonna be here so soon, you're doing real good-"

"I feel – mm – I feel w-weird-"

"I know, just stay with me alright? S'gonna be alright, you're okay–

"She really wants to––"

"I know-"

"Wants to come now – Han––!"

"Han."

"Mmmmmm?"

"Han."

"Waswrong? Y'okay?"

"Yes–"

"Baby okay?"

"Yes, but—"

"Mmhmm."

"Han."

"Go back to sleep, Princess."

"I can't, I'm too anxious."

"You'll feel better in the mornin', alright?"

"Han, I'm anxious and I can't sleep."

"Mm. Alright. W'you stressed 'bout?"

"Do you ever think about how isolated we are out here? Han, where are we going to get a crib?"

"S'it? I'll build it, no big thing – go back to sleep…"

"Diapers, Han."

"Cut up some ol' sheets, sew 'em right. We're gonna be fine, go sleep now…"

She was quiet for a few moments, then piped up anxiously. "Okay, but what about a breast pump?"

After a moment of silence, he was up, stalking naked to the main room – she could hear him, just barely, muttering harshly into his comm. He returned immediately, flopped back into bed. "Taken care of. Anything else?"

She wracked her brain. "Well, not right now…"

"Then sleep, princess."

(Later, when Luke dropped by the base unexpectedly, Leia had exclaimed, "You're back early! Any reason?" And Luke had given her a curious look, reaching into his pack. "Yeah, your crazy husband called me in the middle of the night saying you needed one of these, ASAP." He handed her a breast pump, making a face. "Wasn't easy to find. Compared to the looks I was getting, though, that part was easy.")

"Easy, easy Leia, damn, you gotta slow down or you're going to hurt yourself––"

"Are you l-l-laughing? Luke! Is he laughing – I swear––"

"Ha, he's an idiot, ignore him––"

"How can you both be laughing – mmph––"

"'Cause we're morons, you know that –push!"

––push comes to shove I'd consider it, but I really don't want to stop working," Leia said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, don't worry, I don't think anyone with half a brain would assume that. An' you shouldn't stop, if you don't wanna. Why the hell should you?"

"And neither should you, so then in terms of childcare–"

"Your brother's Jedi daycare won't be up and running yet?"

"Har har."

"Think he'll give us a family discount?"

She pressed on, ignoring him: "Anyway, my parents used to bring me with them, everywhere. To meetings and such – I'm serious!"

"You want me to believe you didn't have a fleet of royal nannies––"

"When I was older and got bored more easily – but I really did spend most of my time coloring in my mother's diplomatic meetings when I was a toddler. We took lunch together and everything, I remember."

"I kinda like that. Feel weird about dropping him off with strangers––"

"And if we're still moving around a lot, there's no guarantee there will be someone adequate everywhere for her––"

"You still sure you want that? Keep going on adventures, living out of a trunk on the Falcon?"

"Well we like that, don't we? Maybe until she has to start school, I thought. It's not like there's any one place that's safe but not isolated anyway."

"That's the truth."

"And anyway, we're space orphans. Roaming it what we do."

"Mm, but he won't be a space orphan, don't forget."

"So she'll never have to be lonely, ever."

"When I was a kid I would wish I could see everything. Like that he'd get that. And get to see what you're working towards. What we care about."

"She'll have to be very brave, of course. And very self-reliant."

"Lucky for him, it runs in the family."

––family? Meet your Mama?"

Leia blinked rapidly in confusion and her world felt not right: the mask over her mouth and nose, the sharp things in her arm and back, the din of voices and her body snapped up and split open and somehow both numb and raw and aching, the raging pain in her head and the black blur around the edge of her vision and this new warm bright feeling just to the edge of her own presence and her screaming sounding all wrong, not like her at all––

And then she was realizing that it wasn't coming from her––

"For the record," Han's voice was saying, sounding almost giddy, "I was right––"

Really, flyboy how you'll introduce yourself to your son? Leia tried to quip, but her voice was slippery and so were her thoughts and it came out sounding more like, "Real f'y'a son?"

And he was laughing again and saying careful, that he had her, saying he loved her, saying here we go, princess, alright––

And even though her arms felt like so much jelly, hardly arms, not hers at all she could see them moving and then clasping, tight, this soft, slippery thing to her chest––

Holding it tight with a strength that surprised her as the rest of her felt so malleable, gooey, not hers – this was hers, he was theirs––

She was laughing too, then. Trying to make sentences and struggling and not caring much, laughing and forcing her mouth to form at least one syllable, slipping out between the teeth of her bright smile, easy as anything, there he was now, not an orphan, not harmed, blinking up at her and at their small, shining, improbable family: Ben, Ben, Ben.

And we're off! Everything herein will be linear and much more conventionally written - just wanted to give a bit of context plus a sense of the chaos in order to start. Anticipate updates every Sunday. Your comments and ideas always mean the world to me!