Disclaimer: The only part of Kingdom Hearts I own is the copyrighted game version I had purchased from EB Games for $28 because I am always late.
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To pull apart is to reveal an ugly truth, but only tight together will we keep our secrets safe behind us.
-I-
The first time Kairi ran into a portal of darkness, she swore to herself she would never go through such a horrible experience again. The pitch black had encased her completely, pulling and tugging at her like gooey mud, and when she finally stepped out of the dark doorway with a sickening, sucking sensation like someone planted a gigantic wet kiss along her entire body, she was dizzy and nauseated and unable to breathe and finally passed out.
She had woken up what seemed like an eternity later to that strange dog licking her cheek and three unfamiliar faces staring down at her with worry.
The second time she went through had not been by her choice. Kairi had been dragged back into that godforsaken portal by that red-haired jerk in black. No matter how much she struggled and fought and almost managed to bite him a few times, almost, he pulled her in behind him regardless.
The floor vanished.
Not that Kairi could tell up from down in the first place, but whatever she had been walking on was suddenly no longer there and she plummeted straight down. She hadn't fallen for very long when her bottom slammed into something, yes, invisible, but no less solid and was careened forward in a downward spiral; curve after curve, loop after loop, at a breakneck speed until her stomach was in her throat and her guts were at her toes. Somewhere, in the faint distance, she thought she heard a man yelling in angry surprise and a dog howling fearfully.
POP!
BAM!!
The grass she crashed into was only deceitfully soft. And this time her body did not grant her the mercy of passing out. So, Kairi did the only thing she could: curl up into a ball and vomit.
"Well, now, ain't that a bitch?"
Groaning from both pain, nausea, and dismay that she hadn't lost that man back in the portal after all, Kairi raised her eyes from the condescending mess she made on the grass. Turned out his remark had absolutely nothing to do with what she had done the moment she landed here. His green eyes were fixed on the dark doorway behind them, narrowed in thought. "Wasn't supposed to work like that," he muttered.
The orange dog that had been following Kairi ever since she had left Destiny Island whined sympathetically and began licking her cheek again.
"Disgusting," he sneered, and this time he was looking at her. Kairi glared, making a note that the next time she tossed her cookies, she would do so in his direction.
"I suppose you're used to it," Kairi retorted, keeping her voice defiant despite that the effort to make an angry tone made her stomach turn again.
"Actually, this has never happened before," he shot back. He smirked at her, a patronizing expression that made Kairi fully aware that she was sitting on her knees at his feet next to a puddle of her own puke. "I have the strength to keep my stomach where it belongs."
And here he had been sounding all friendly and inviting at the beach, too. At least Kairi could congratulate herself at having him figured out from the start when she first ran away from him. Now, he had decided to drop the nice-guy act completely. Which was really a relief.
Kairi did not bother to answer him. She would accept defeat for now, feeling much too sick to carry the argument any further. A hollow sound echoed from behind her and she glanced over her shoulder in time to see the portal disappear.
"Aw, damn it," she heard him growl.
Somehow hedgehog-head's inconvenience was making her feel better. Much better. She shot him her own patronizing smirk and stood to her feet (struggled more like as she was still viciously fighting for her equilibrium), and carefully ignored the mess next to her. "So, Mister, if you're so confident in your unique transporting abilities, where are we?"
The three of them--Kairi, the black-robed man, and the dog--were standing in a large garden, flowers and grass the size of trees, and trees so high that they couldn't even see above the first of the lowest branches. The man's green eyes darted to her and he snarled when she tilted her head at him.
"Do not toy with me, darling," he spat.
"Well, the guy I met on the beach certainly seemed nice enough," she answered.
He stared at her for a moment, then threw his head back to laugh. Not understanding what was so funny, Kairi crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot. When he managed to calm down, he grinned at her, giving her a sideways look that caused his red hair to fall lazily over one side of his face. "You've got spunk, girl. And guts. Like I said, running into a portal of darkness? With no hesitation? And now you are trying to tangle in a battle of wits with a Nobody."
Kairi couldn't hide her expression of surprise and she knew it, too, for he was laughing again. "A what?"
He said nothing. She didn't push the subject. What. Ever. So, Kairi just stood there and watched, arms still crossed over her chest, foot still tapping, as the man held out his hand. She suspected that he was trying to make that portal appear again. Or he was psychotic.
Nothing happened.
Kairi's smile practically split her face open when she saw the look of sheer frustration cross his features and a furious "Shit!" hiss from between his teeth. "Out of juice?" she couldn't help asking.
There were times when Kairi fully believed that constantly being in the presence of the likes of Riku and Sora were going to get her into a lot of trouble one day. She used to be a quiet, shy girl, but over the years she ended up inheriting Sora's recklessness and Riku's rude mouth, and the two unfavorable characteristics were bad enough alone much less together!
Now, was one of those times.
The moment the words left Kairi's mouth, the next thing she knew, she was flat against a gigantic flower stem, a flaming chakram on either side of her, holding her in place, and an angry masculine face just inches from hers, so close she could distinctly make out that the claw-like marks under his eyes were most definitely not painted on every morning. He was also far stronger than his slender, narrow body should allow.
Maybe…she should've kept her mouth shut.
Stupid Riku. Stupid Sora.
She was going to beat them both senseless if she saw them again. And that would only be if the guy in front of her was going to let her live. Because at the moment, it didn't look like she had a prayer.
"You don't seem to realize the situation you are in, little spitfire," he said in low, dangerous tones. "I could kill you right now and, trust me, I am very much tempted to do so. Normally, I'm a pretty laid back guy, but you are pushing it."
Kairi desperately fought to keep her composure, to keep from caving in under that gaze like he would want her to. Still, she couldn't hide the anxiety from her voice even as she retorted, "But you…you need me! You're h-holding me…for something…hostage…"
When he deciphered her strange wording, he laughed again. Not a bellyaching cackle like earlier. This laugh was filled with nothing but cruelty, hinting at a knowledge she could only lightly touch. "They need you. I don't. The only reason I'm taking you to them is so that I don't get turned into a Dusk. Make sure that you keep the idea of having me keep you alive more worth my while. Got it memorized, little spitfire?"
Oh, but what would she give to spit in his face at that moment. The chakram burning close to her, so close she could feel their unnatural heat tingling at her skin, were forcing her to rethink that temptation. "You would really…"
She trailed off when she heard vicious growling and that orange dog running in for an attack. Not so much as flickering his gaze away, the man lifted one of the chakram and a stream of fire shot from the spinning weapon. The dog yelped, barely dodging the attack, and Kairi felt all the color drain from her face as all the hope fled from her body.
This guy…was serious.
"I missed on purpose," he told her and she believed him. "Trust me, it will be just as easy to kill you as it would that mutt. Makes no difference to me. For, you see, I'm just a Nobody. And Nobodies don't have the hearts for mercy. In fact," he chuckled at his own little private joke that would be a long, long time before Kairi could understand, "we don't even have hearts in the first place."
No…heart?
He didn't have a heart?
How could anyone not have a heart?
It hit her. The memories of what seemed like a lifetime ago. In that horrible castle. Feeling so cold, so dead, so…empty. It was this again, all over again. "No," she whispered, and then shouted defiantly, "No, I will not let you take my heart again!"
To be honest, he had absolutely no idea what the heck she was talking about. He snorted, backing away several feet, and, thankfully, taking his nasty chakram with him. "I don't want your heart," he snarled. "Like I said, you're really nothing of use to me. I'm just the delivery boy, nothing more than that. Got it memorized?"
Kairi could already tell that constant phrase was going to irritate her to no end, and she figured that he probably knew that, too. But for the moment, Kairi just stood there, back flat against the flower stem and still obviously shaken. He wasn't paying attention to her right now, but she didn't dare underestimate him. Instead, Kairi took the opportunity to study her captor, scrutinizing and memorizing every detail to possibly use to her advantage later.
She didn't find much, if anything.
He was tall, taller than Riku, and his long red hair swept back into spikes made him all that more imposing. He was completely clad in black, from his black hooded robe to his black shoes, and his black pants to his black gloves. The bright green of his eyes contrasted so sharply with his hair and his dark clothes that one was forced to take notice of him only to be hypnotized by his serpentine stare.
Okay, maybe Kairi was being a little overdramatic. But the bottom line remained; this guy was scary.
She decided it would be better for her if she just played it by ear for now.
But only for now.
Kairi's thoughts were cut short when she felt the dog nudge her legs with its nose. Smiling softly, grateful that she had at least one friend in this dire situation, she bent down to scratch the dog behind its ears. "Who are you, anyway?" she whispered, and it was then a little gleam of light caught the corner of her eye. She turned the dog's blue collar in order to read the golden tag better.
"Pluto," Kairi said out loud, and the dog's ears perked, wagging his tail faster. She giggled. "What a cute name!"
"In some worlds, Pluto was the name for their god of Death," came the obnoxious comment behind her.
She didn't care that he was twirling a chakram casually around his index finger. All caution and whatever he threatened her with be damned; she just couldn't keep the inner beast at bay.
"Thank you so much for that extremely useless bit of information, O Wise One." Her words were spoken in the nastiest sarcasm she could muster, a tone that would've made Riku proud. Yet, while saying that felt good and gave her a giddy sense of satisfaction, Kairi had to acknowledge that her heart was racing in the anticipation of one of those chakram taking her head clean off.
Nothing happened. Though, he did look a little surprised. "I'll say it again," he finally remarked. "You've got guts, spitfire."
She stood fully to her feet, fed up, yelling, "And quit calling me 'spitfire'! My name is not spitfire! It's--!"
"You know, the moon rats find themselves very disturbed by all your shouting," a smooth voice interjected from somewhere above their heads. "They'll flee into the forest and tell the roses. And the roses will tell the cards. And the cards will tell the Queen. And the Queen will be angry, indeed, for being disturbed. Your shouting disturbs the Queen."
The three looked up to see a large, pink cat perched comfortably on a twenty-foot high tree stump. Its mouth was stretched in a never wavering crescent-moon grin, revealing two rows of teeth that appeared to be more human than feline.
"A cat?" Kairi spoke up incredulously and Pluto let out a low growl.
"A Cheshire cat," the animal corrected, and, using its tail, it lifted--actually lifted!--its ears from its head politely.
Well, that was the freakiest thing Kairi had ever seen.
"Whatever you are, you're a resident of this world, right? Tell us the way out of here," her captor demanded.
Gazing at them with that never-ending smile, the Cheshire cat reclined back on the tip of its furry tail as if it weighed nothing. Kairi blinked; when did that creature move?
"There are only two ways in this world. There is the Queen's way and there is the true way."
"Fine," the spiky redhead snapped. "Tell us the true way."
Balancing only on its forelegs now, back and tail erect in the air, the Cheshire cat held a single claw to its grin. "That way is special. Only the Keyblade Master can open that way."
Kairi's heart leaped with memories. Sora!
Her captor was not so jubilant at hearing the all-too familiar title. "Listen you," he growled and flames began to dance along his spinning chakram. "I am not afraid to use force if I--"
"The moon knows everything."
He was so caught off guard, both flames and chakram vanished into air. "What?"
Kairi had the feeling the Cheshire cat was speaking only because it felt like it. "The moon knows the third way."
"You said there were only two ways!" her captor yelled at the cat in frustration.
"The third way is a secret way, but now that I've told you, does it remain a secret? So, therefore, there must be three ways, correct?" the Cheshire cat merely said calmly. "The way of darkness. Only when the moon is blind will it reveal the path of shadows."
Green eyes narrowed at it. "Heartless?"
"No will is stronger than the will of the blind moon," the Cheshire cat said cryptically. It slowly began to fade until only its grin remained, making Kairi step back a few steps.
And then it was gone completely.
"'Only when the moon is blind'--damn it all, I knew it!!"
Kairi and Pluto stared at the man in mutual confusion. "What the Cheshire cat said?"
"It was talking about a lunar eclipse. The lunar eclipses are beginning. Shit, that really screws us over!"
Now Kairi was even more confused and this time her expression said as much. Her captor sighed deeply, running a gloved hand through his spiky red hair. "Okay, obviously, I hope, you know that there are other worlds, right?"
She nodded, but her glare was downright deadly. He was patronizing her again.
"Worlds in close proximity to each other experience lunar eclipses around the same time, roughly within the same year. Now, how do dark passages come into this? Dark passages only go where the dark will is strongest. And, just as the cat said, there is no dark will stronger than an eclipse. Therefore, every dark passage we go into is going to take us to the world where the next eclipse is about to take place, instead of where I want it to go. So, now it looks like we're going to have to portal jump from world to world until we finally get to the Organization." He took a deep breath, looking as if he was trying very, very hard not to throttle something. "Do you realize all the trouble and extra work you've caused me? It would've been sooo much easier if you had just come with me quietly."
"You're the one who dragged me into that portal in the first place!" Kairi protested.
"I was talking about when we first met on Destiny Island," he retorted ever so calmly.
Shoot. Now she did feel stupid.
Kairi lowered her eyes, absentmindedly scratching the top of Pluto's head. Portal jumping. Just thinking about that made her stomach queasy again. "So…I guess we're stuck together for a while, huh?"
His crimson brows rose. "You're actually coming with me? Cooperatively? Either you are very clever or you give up too easily, little spitfire."
She couldn't stand it. "KAIRI!" she yelled, stomping her foot and making Pluto jump. "My name is Kairi!"
He rolled his eyes. "I like spitfire better."
"How about if I called you 'porcupine?'" she demanded.
He shrugged. "I don't care."
Maybe staying in this world by herself would be the better idea. She would have Pluto with her, after all.
"Axel."
"Huh?"
"My name is Axel. A-X-E-L." He tapped the side of his head. "Got it memorized?"
Kairi snorted. "I like porcupine better."
He grinned at her. But his eyes reminded her clearly of the dangerous waters she was treading in. She fought to keep from swallowing the large lump that suddenly clogged her throat when the realization slammed into her like a wall of bricks.
She didn't have to push him too far.
He could kill her anytime he wanted.
It was only a matter of when he felt like it.
---
Many minutes of silence passed as they wandered around the oversized garden, looking for open ground to see the eclipse better. According to Axel, not that she had a reason to doubt him, really, the portal would be the most stable in full view of the eclipse.
Kairi trailed a few steps behind Axel, Pluto walking loyally by her side. While she appreciated Pluto's presence, Kairi could not relax. There was something about this man in front of her, something that scared the life out of her…and yet…thrilling at the same time.
Did she actually think thrilling?
Kairi smiled to herself. Well, she was finally partaking in an adventure, the kind she and Sora and Riku would talk about all the time. They had even built a little raft to go sailing on with the hopes of exploring new worlds. While Kairi now had to question the judgment of going off on a raft in open ocean with only a few fish and a couple of coconuts, that did nothing to dull the memory shining in her heart. A memory of what seemed to be a lifetime ago.
In spite of herself, Kairi's arms lifted to wrap tightly around her in self-hug.
Sora? Riku? Where are you?
She snapped out of her sad thoughts in time to see Axel glance at her from over his shoulder. Instantly, her arms dropped and her back straightened as she tried to stand as tall as she could, chin lifted, eyes glaring back with defiance. She would not show weakness. Riku and Sora weren't here to protect her anymore.
Pluto growled a warning from next to her. He seemed to like Axel enough, but only if the man didn't act threatening towards Kairi.
The little march came to a halt, and Axel turned to face them fully. "Man," he muttered, scratching the back of his head. "We're not in a happy mood, are we? Can't we just put all this kidnapping business behind us and be friends?"
"I don't see why we should," Kairi shot back.
"It's not like I actually want to hurt you, little spitfire. I don't see how that'll accomplish anything for me. Not to mention, DiZ would get pretty pissed and I really don't want to have to deal with that."
Kairi rolled her eyes. "You don't have a heart, right? How would you even know what friendship is?"
"It's better than being lonely."
For some reason, Kairi was flabbergasted. His words, somehow, floored her, and it showed clearly on her face when she gaped at him.
"At least that's what I've heard. Of course, I wouldn't really know."
This time she did swallow that huge lump in her throat. Could he…read her mind?
"I'm sure you don't want to be in this world alone."
No…it was more like he could read her heart…
"That's why you wanted to tag along with me in spite of our grievances, isn't it?"
Wasn't it just moments ago that she had thought this to be the adventure she had always dreamed of? Even if she was following the footsteps of a psycho?
Remember, Kairi, you've been feeling empty for well over a year now. Perhaps this guy is offering you that sense of completion you've been missing.
Axel was holding out his hand.
"Come on, don't be shy. How about it, then? Truce?"
It was dangerous…
You've been lonely for too long.
She took a step forward…then another…and another…
Aren't you tired…just sick and tired…of always, always, ALWAYS being the one left behind?
Heart quivering, raising her eyes to his, she grasped his hand before she could think about it any further.
It BURNED.
Kairi didn't even have the voice to scream, her skin ablaze with a magic that she had always believed in but never had touched. Her body warped and twisted strangely about itself and her vision went completely dark. Soon, all that existed for her was darkness and pain. It was agony. Sheer agony.
The pain lingered even when the burning had finally stopped. Kairi collapsed to her hands and knees, gasping desperately for air as swear poured down her nose and forehead, tears streaming from her eyes, and she felt like she was going to throw up again.
"Heeeyy, you don't look half-bad, little spitfire," she heard Axel announce cheerfully. "You're already pulling it off well. Then again, if I were you, I'd probably be worried about that, considering."
Just what the hell was he talking about?
Kairi's eyes nearly popped out of her head when she took in the black gloves she was suddenly wearing. Slowly, slowly, she stood up, eyes frantically roaming the her new wardrobe; the black pants, black jacket with a gleaming silver zipper that draped to her black boots. She reached up with shaking fingers, silver strings tinkling musically as she pulled back the black hood that had found its way over her face.
This was Axel's outfit. Or, at least, a perfect replica of Axel's outfit. The only difference was that the jacket and pants had been shaped to fit snugly against a woman's body instead of a man's.
Trembling, face drained of all color, Kairi stared wild-eyed up at Axel, unable to understand, almost not wanting to understand.
"Hey, hey, no need to panic!" he exclaimed, but he sounded more like he was scolding her than trying to be of any comfort. "It would be better if you wore that. It makes it look more like you're with me."
So nobody would try to rescue me from you, right? She didn't have the voice to speak those words. She was too confused, and, to be honest with herself, scared. Very, very scared. This was not the adventure that she had always dreamed of. This…this was hell. And the Devil himself was grinning at her.
"You'll get used to it," Axel offhandedly remarked.
Pluto whined softly, rubbing his nose against Kairi's thigh, staring up at her with worried canine eyes. Kairi hardly paid attention. A huge black cloud of despair had settled over her heart, and a tiny part of her wondered if that had come with the outfit.
A few minutes before, she had hope that she would somehow get away. As long as she still had her heart, where Sora and Riku resided as she had always believed, she would have the strength to endure this. Perhaps even, just a little bit, enjoy it.
This outfit, this uniform of the "Organization" Axel had called it, was more than just a black jacket. It was a prison keeping her chained to her captor. She could no longer hear the voices of Sora and Riku. She could no longer feel her strength. Worse, now that she looked like…what had Axel said he was? A Nobody?…all the hope she had of escaping was gone.
She would not be going back. She would never see home again.
Wearing this uniform was proof of that.
They came to an opening in the garden where the canopy of gigantic leaves above them had parted enough to allow the moonlight to shine clearly. Only the night remained dark as the slowly spreading shadow had finally swallowed the last beams of moonlight completely. Axel held out his hand and a dark portal appeared a few feet away, strong enough, hopefully, to keep them from wandering the different worlds forever.
"Shall we go?" Axel inquired in mocking politeness and then stepped into the portal without bothering to wait for her.
Placing a hand on Pluto's shoulder for a comfort she could no longer feel, Kairi numbly followed.
-End I-