Forgetting

My submission for the Hostile Takeover Theme Challenge for Loss. My take on a strange idea I had recently. Giftfic for crimsonvortex.

They said that it had been a decade since she had changed. They said that her mind was full of delusion when she compared herself to absolutely everything, including the nesting raven in the tree opposite her window. Time passed quickly, as she grew up in silence, and soon enough she barely noticed the voices outside of her thoughts.

It was not like Alice had never felt it. She noticed her mind had grown more silent as time passed, with no voices but herself speaking. The world had grown emptier around her while she grew older, and the air, once filled with voices, passionate voices, and deteriorated into little more than stagnant silence. Sounds around her and her thoughts looked to be cutting apart, until only one voice was left – hers.

She was lost into herself almost completely, but there was no Wonderland – no merry voices – only utter silence and darkness. In the coldness, she screamed and screamed but received no reply.

For the first time in a decade, Alice felt pain in her chest, and felt her eyes water. She tried to remember where all the voices had gone, why it was so silent and dark, and couldn't quite believe what she saw.

It was herself she was seeing... it was Alice. She was smiling, smiling so freely, and the darkness brightened ever so slightly when she saw herself skip past the meadow with a merry grin etched on her face, with white walls and glistening sunlight illuminating the background. She saw a girl who looked so very familiar leading Alice around, her face full of joy, as they played in the meadow, overseen by two older people in the distance, bright smiles on their faces.

The scene changed, and she found herself in a study, opposite a man – one of the two older people in the previous image. Lines had cut deep into his face, and his lips were thinned into a line. However, there was clear desperation in his expression, and his eyes were wet, as he looked directly at her. The vision blurred, but she still heard a voice.

"Alice, look at me…" He said. "Alice… Alice!"

Suddenly, her vision cleared, and she saw the man again.

"Alice, I understand you have been excelling in your studies – as is expected, but your tutor tells me that something is wrong with you – that you are deeply obsessed in your own thoughts, that you are... obsessed with dreams – delusion."

Her vision blurred again, this time showing faint images of a grinning cat, and the faint outline of a hat.

"Alice, I am speaking with you! Speak to me, for God's sake!" A desperate female voice this time.

Suddenly, all was black again, and it was silent. By then, her tears had finally left her eyes, and all that appeared this time was a mirror – the very same mirror that she had always faced when she woke up. But it had a feeling to it, something familiar which Alice could not place.

Alice… her name. Alice.

Looking at the mirror, she felt a pain in her temple, as familiar images and feelings and sounds started to rush in. Memories, Alice realized. The darkness around her appeared to liven up slightly when she reached out for her memories, desperate to dispel the silence around her.

It was almost chaos around the girl when she tried to remember all the memories. Her pain grew even more intense, but she ignored it. Her head felt like it wanted to explode, but still she took no heed – until a firm voice sounded, "Enough."

Instantly, it all disappeared, and Alice yelped when she saw a toothy grin appearing in the mirror, followed by a flick of a bushy tail, and a pair of piercing green eyes that she recognized all too well.

"Do you remember me?"

Shock overtook her. She had never thought that one of them would've reappeared.

"Cheshire…"

"Very good," Cheshire's grin grew wider.

A pause, as Alice bit her lip. "Where did you all go?"

"We are still here," The enigmatic creature said as-a-matter-of-factly. "I would like to start with this – you are not supposed to be here."

"Get out." This time, his voice was fierce. "Stop your charade, you do not belong here. Do not lose more of yourself to this circus."

"But Cheshire-"

"Did you not hear me, Alice?" Cheshire growled, and Alice started to feel fear – Cheshire had stopped grinning – and his fangs were showing. "Get out."

Suddenly, a door appeared at the back of the darkness, and she started backing away. This was not normal, and she knew it. Cheshire had never been that angered. Alice was still uncertain, she wanted to catch up with her old friends, she wanted to relive her tea party..

"Alice, you need to leave – stop this façade," A gentle voice said, and Alice gasped.

"Hatter.. why?"

"The difference between a raven, and a writing desk, Alice," Hatter said, his voice grave. "Is reality."

"Do not worry about us, Alice," Cheshire said, his grin returned. "We are but a part of you – but you have another world to look to, one far broader than Wonderland. Do not sacrifice that world for one as small as ours – it's not worth it."

"You're a part of me?"

"Always." The mirror shimmered and disappeared.

With that, Alice gulped, and finding her courage, opened the door. She seemed to fly through space, and she felt a strange sadness as she felt coldness rush past herself. Her memories of the tea party started to fade.

It was complete darkness again, when something flickered. She could feel an itch in her eyes, as she heard a fading voice, gentle and loving, "We're sorry."

xXx

"Alice… ALICE!"

"Urrr…" Alice rubbed her eyes, and strangely found that it was teary.

She looked up and saw the concerned face of her sister, Margaret. The bright light had almost blinded her when she groaned wordlessly, and was almost surprised at how high-pitched and childish her voice was.

"What's wrong, Alice?" her sister asked concernedly. "Another bad dream? Come here."

She embraced her younger, little sister, who was confused at everything at the moment. When Alice found out that she couldn't remember anything, a rush of emotion came over her and she sobbed. Alice knew that she forgot something important to her, and she wept. Margaret embraced her tighter, cooing, "It was just a dream, Alice, just a dream."

"I can't remember what happened.."

With that, Margaret said soothingly, "Some things are better forgotten."

Alice wept even more at that.

xXx

Loss of memories… and the art of moving on from dreams to reality. Hope you enjoyed this little experiment, do review. :)