AN: New Story! Yay! Just wanted to warn everyone that there is a trigger warning on this for PTSD just to be safe. Enjoy!
Steve didn't usually have trouble in this new world, this new life he had made for himself. Sure, he missed Bucky, and Peggy, and certain things about his old life, but at least he wasn't sick all the time, and there was a group of people he could rely on, not just himself or Bucky, like it had been back in his old life. At least he felt like he belonged.
There were setbacks occasionally, of course. The Avengers, as they had come to be known, were a band of misfits at best. But maybe that's why they each complimented each other so well, and worked well together as a unit. Those times where they fought though, Steve became agitated and nervous, but he could usually say he needed to go for a run and no one questioned him. They each had their own demons. They each coped with them in their own ways. They understood.
But sometimes it was so bad he could only shut himself away and pray. Pray for the monsters in his own head to stop yelling so loud, pray for his old time, pray for death. There was a term for it now, what he had. PTSD, it was called. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He had seen it in the forties as Shell Shock, but no one called it that anymore. And he knew he could get help, if he wanted. But he didn't want help. He was Captain America, for gosh sakes. A super soldier. He could handle his own thoughts, his own mind.
Until one day he couldn't anymore.
It was just after breakfast, and he and Tony were cleaning up the mess that always came with the Avengers' shared meals. The window above the kitchen sink was cracked open to let in the warm spring breeze of May, and it was through that which Steve was looking back at the clear morning when he heard it.
A gunshot.
"Tony, get down!"
Tony stared down at him from where he stood by the cupboards, drying and putting cups and mugs away. Steve had gotten onto his belly in an army crawl, his hands protecting his head.
"Cap, you all right?"
"They're shooting at us Tony! Get down!"
"Who's shooting at us?" And he stepped calmly and carefully over to the window, standing on his toes to look out. And saw the problem. But he let the question stand, just to test his suspicion.
"The Germans! The Axis! Get down!"
"Cap," he squatted down, to be closer to Steve, his voice careful and soft, "It wasn't a gunshot. A car backfired in the street. We're fine. How'd you hear that anyway? I didn't hear- Ohh… Right. Super hearing. I promise there's no gunshots, though. The war's over. We won, remember? Do you want help up? Let's just sit on the floor a minute, catch our breath," and after helping Steve sit against the lower cabinets, Tony joined him with a crack of each knee and a soft groan. Even the sounds of popping knees made Steve flinch, blue eyes wide and staring at Tony.
Tony didn't say anything for the moment, just let Steve stare at him and feel his presence. Just then, however, Clint and Natasha rushed into the room, fully suited up.
"Avengers assemble? It's go time?" Clint asked, both he and his partner having heard the commotion. Then his face scrunched up in confusion, "Why are you on the floor?"
Tony waved him off, "We just need a minute. No assembly needed. We're good," Satisfied, both of them left, just as confused as before. Tony turned to smirk at Steve, laughing at his own joke, "I've always wanted to say that," and then he noticed the tears in Steve's eyes as he came back to the present. A frown replaced his smile, "Hey, hey. Talk to me, Cap. What's goin' on in that head of yours?"
Steve could only sniffle and close his eyes to try to keep the tears at bay, but failed as two tears ran down his flushed cheeks. He couldn't tell Tony what was wrong even if he had wanted to. The words for the things in his head at that moment wouldn't come out. Bucky. Peggy. Changing into the Super Soldier. The train. Blood. Screaming. Gunfire. Smoke. All cycling through his mind over and over again.
"Do you wanna go talk somewhere safe? Yeah?" As Steve nodded against the hard cabinets weakly, swallowing thickly, "We'll go up to my floor, okay? I don't think being on your floor will help much right now, huh? Ok, let's go. Easy, one step at a time, there you go," with Tony helping to support him, they slowly made it out of the kitchen, across the communal living room where Thor, Clint, and Natasha were on the large couch watching TV, to the elevator. Thor was the first to notice Steve's distress.
"WHO HAS CAUSED YOU PAIN, CAPTAIN? THEY WILL FEEL MY WRATH!" As the hammer began to swing and hum as Thor stood and his cause for distraction caught the others' attention, Tony worked to calm him down.
"Whoa, whoa, Point Break! Nobody hurt Cap. Easy on the hammer- and oh my God, is that lightening?" The way that Steve tightened against his side told Tony that yes, it was, "We're just heading upstairs for a breather. JARVIS, lock access to my floor," and then they were gone, and the elevator whirred as it went up to Tony's floor.
"What was that all about?" Clint asked.
Natasha could only shrug.