I arrive at Princeton-Plainsboro at 12:50 f for a last minute clinic appointment. My anxiety has been through the roof and my depression is acting up. I just recently moved to New Jersey and that has definitely triggered it. I wait in the waiting room until I am lead to waiting room 1. "Dr. House will be with you shortly" she says. "Thank you" I reply. About 30 minutes later the door opens and an older man with a cane walks in. "I'm ; it says you've been feeling anxious and depressed recently." He says "Have you gone through anything stressful recently" he asks
"Um yeah, I just moved here from Massachusetts a month ago" I reply
"Ok, why the sudden move, is how you feel sudden or have you had flare ups before" he asks
"I was commissioned by the towns Library to do a couple of murals on site and around town for a program they are doing, but they ended up replacing me last minute for someone else. And yeah I've always had anxiety and depression. My anxiety is usually the one that gets out of control" I answer
"Are you on any medication" he asks
"Um I was prescribed Zoloft but… I stopped taking it months ago because the new does hurt my stomach" I answer again
"Ok, well I am going to write that prescription again, just lower the dose, that seemed to work fine last time" he asks
"Yes" I reply. He writes me a prescription and says I'm all set as he walks out of the door. I walk out of the room and he is nowhere to be found. If my anxiety wasn't so bad I probably would have asked him if he was married, but he probably is so why bother. I get my script filled and take the bus home.
…
I wake up in the middle of the night and I can barley breath. I feel things touching me, on my neck. I start to panic. I feel like I'm going crazy; everything I go to brush it off, nothing is there; no bug or hair. It becomes harder to breathe and I feel a pain in my chest. I call 911. I am rushed to the hospital by ambulance. We arrive and I am then brought into the ER and the EMT's inform the doctors at the door. I am then taken to a room for observation and end up staying the night. I am informed that I had a panic attack. Throughout the night, nurses come in frequently to check on me. I drift in and out of sleep through out the day; I'm exhausted.
I hear the door open and close and open my eyes. Turning my head to the door I see Dr House walking in and he sits down in a chair by the bed. He looks at me fore a while before speaking. "Why are you here" he asks
"I had a panic attack I guess" I say. Shouldn't he know that, he is the doctor after all right?
"Yes, that is why you were brought here. That is not why you are staying the night." He says "I did some research about the job that out of the blue found someone else once you moved here. I called the Library who hired you and it turns out you were working on a mural and the next time the woman who hired you came to see your progress she found you with a palette knife held to your wrist so hard that it drew blood"
"You called them" I say frantically "I do not remember that…"
"Of course I called, everybody lies" he says smugly
"I am not lying I do not remember doing that. I remember going in to work, working for a bit and then going home… The next day she said she found someone else. What the hell" I say fitting everything together
"Why do you think that happened" he asks
"Um, I'm not sure. Stress, pressure" I answer unsure "If everybody lies why are you even asking me" I say
"Good question. Truth begins in lies…" he says getting up and leaving the room. What the fuck I think to myself.
The next day I change into my clothes and get ready to go back home. I hear a knock on the door, it's the doctor that brought me to the exam room in the clinic a couple days ago, and she is the dean of medicine. I wonder why she has come. "Hi, feeling alright" she asks warmly
"Yes, thank you" I reply mimicking her smile
"So Dr House tells me you are an artist" she says
"Oh, well, yeah I am just starting out but yes." I say
"Well, I was wondering if you would be interested to do some commissioned pieces for the hospital… We would need a lot, big ones…" she says
"Oh wow, I would love to, thank you for considering me" I say "I would be honored"
"Great. We can discuss this further in my office, when you checkout you can ask the nurse to point you in the direction of my office" she says
"Ok, thank you" I say. She walks out and she looks to the right. I follow her gaze and see Dr House looking at her. I walk out of the room and he looks at me as well. I look back and smile and mouth the words thank you to him. I am sure I saw at least a glimpse of a smile and he then walked out of view. I walk down the stairs to the main lobby reception desk and check out. "Oh, Um can you point me in the direction of Dr Cuddy's office please" I ask. She points to the right "Thank you" I say as I walk off.
I knock of the door and hear "Come in" from behind the glass doors; she looks up to greet me and I walk in.