AN: Well, I've risen from the grave after years of hiatus (Sorry! Life was really busy). I've decided to attempt writing again, and will hopefully remember where I was going with my other stories. I would hate to completely abandon them. I'm rusty on Star Wars, but I saw Rogue one and was inspired to attempt to write again. This will probably be a series of one-shots snippets revolving around Galen Erso. Thank you for reading.
Galen feels a lot of things these days. He has nothing, but time to think and feel, to regret and hate. There is just so many things to ponder upon. Memories he wishes he could forget, to change. He regrets leaving Jyn, his treasured daughter. He hates having to leave his beloved wife without a proper funeral. He resents Krennic for forcing him to come back to the Empire. But, most of all, he despises himself. Despises himself for getting involved with Krennic in the first place; for forcing his family out into a life of solitude afterwards. For everything.
It is from behind the bars of his cell, lying prone and broken on the ground, that he realizes the depth of all his past mistakes. Of everything that he wishes he could do differently. During these times of quiet, he cannot stop the torrent of emotions flooding him. However, this time between the Empire's attempts to persuade him into their service, also allows him time to think about his predicament. It allows him to look at it from all angles with a cold rationality. Of how he could attempt an escape (and, hopefully, attain a quick death for escape was virtually impossible). That would, at least, allow him to die knowing he at least delayed the Empire just a bit longer in building the planet destroyer. It would not permanently halt them for, eventually, they would realise he was not essential. They could find another scientist just as brilliant and gifted as himself given enough time. That, Galen knew, could not be allowed to happen and it was this thought that forces him to conclude each day that he has no choice but to comply with the Empire. Dying in the dark, alone, would solve nothing. Would help no one, least of all, his Stardust. He would have to comply with Krennic, the Empire, Darth Vader if he was to survive and, hopefully, ruin the sinister plans of the fallen jedi.
Yet, despite his inevitable conclusions, he would resist for another day, taking the torture in defiance. A part of him did not want to deal with the guilt of helping build a weapon so powerful. Of having his daughter look at him with the inevitable hatred that such an awful legacy would incur. He wants nothing more than to see her again, but not even the Empire has been able to find her, if the intensity of his torture is anything to go by. Without Jyn, the Empire has no leverage against him. Nothing to bargain with him for. They know, as does he, that he will not resist if they have his Stardust. She is his world; the light at the end of the very dark road that he has paved for himself. She is the last piece of himself and his Lyra that remains, and he does not want her innocence to be sullied by the Empire. As much as he yearns to see her smile again, he knows that he never will. She will never look at him the same way again. Even if, by some small chance, he sees her, she will know of his past involvement with the Empire and how his scientific breakthroughs helped them dominate the galaxy.
And, so, he takes another day of torture, and another, and another until all the days blur together and he can no longer tell day from night, reality from unreality. Until, one day, he does not. Until one moment where he hardens his heart, ignores the lingering image of his daughter in the back of his mind, and turns to look at Krennic and accepts. Accepts with everything he has.
A lone tear escapes Galen's eye, as he agrees, with a heavy heart, what he will do from now on. Of how low he will sink in his daughter's eyes. There is just no other way to survive, to help her and the world.
I'm sorry, Stardust… please forgive me…
Krennic, looking as pristine as ever in his white uniform, merely smiles cruelly at him and drags him out of his cell by his collar, mentioning how he knew his friend would come around eventually.
And so, Galen resigns himself to his fate.