THREE WEEKS LATER
"Look who do we have here?"
A slurred girlish voice with a blatant hint of inebriation disrupts Kakashi's peaceful meditation over the sochu cup. So much for his determination to spend the night alone tonight. Of all people, she is the least he wants to bump into.
Inwardly sighing, the Copy Nin turns sideway to regard a soft-pink –hair framing face which is beaming at him with a lost but warm smile.
"Yo, Sakura-chan" - He returns her smile with his own vague one. His nose instantly picks up the strong tequila smell mixed up with her perfume and shampoo fragrance. He is not sure if he likes this combination but he has to admit that she looks just as disarming as ever.
Using the chandon bottle in her two hands as an anchor to keep her body steady, Sakura cranes her chin forward to regard the empty seat next to Kakashi:
"You're here alone Kakashi-sensei?"
Even though very tempted to say that he is waiting for someone else to shoo this intoxicated girl who smells like trouble away, Kakashi still cannot afford to be so blatantly rude:
"Yeah, as alone as I always am. You are here with friends? Nice choice" – He points promptly at the bottle of sparkling wine in her hand.
Sakura lifts the bottle up and mulls over it with a distant appreciation:
"This? A gift from my colleagues in the hospital for that. And No, I'm here alone too"
Great. No one drinks Tequila shots going to a pub alone without seeking trouble itself.
"How many shots have you drunk already, Sakura?" – Kakashi's voice turns stern, he doesn't mean it to sound that way but he can slip into his teacher mode faster than light speed around this girl.
Maybe subconsciously his self-defence mechanism has been activated to protect himself from things that he does not even fathom.
It's always better to draw the line between him and this girl
"Two or Three" – she holds up her fingers to indicate her answer, the drunk smile never leaves her face.
Tossing her winter coat on the stool's back, Sakura slips in the seat next to him without asking:
"So you're avoiding someone as well?"
Yes. From you.
"No, just want to be by myself" – Trying to ignore the sudden proximity between them, Kakashi takes another sip of the strong alcohol, the pungent taste burns his throat for one brief second before disappearing from within – "I'm surprised there is someone you want to avoid, aren't you supposed to go about celebrating now, it's only three more weeks, isn't it?"
"Let's not mention that, ok?" – the first time ever since she greeted him, her grin dissolves. His eyebrow slightly rises with her sudden mood swing. But as short as when it came, her mood swings back to the more cheery path almost instantly: "Well, it's a coincidence that we meet here, isn't it, let's make the most of it" – her voice turns jovial at her own suggestion.
Even when it is subtle, Kakashi can tell that she is certainly not happy with what is going to happen pretty soon in her life.
"How about I share with you my lovely Champaign and you give me some of that bitter, yucky shochu of yours" - The roseate head girl beckons to the bartender to bring her two more empty cups, and quickly shoves a 10 ryo note in his hand so he can pretend that he does not see her bringing her own alcohol in this bar. She even gives him a free wink after the cups arrive. Judging by his long enduring sigh, Kakashi can tell he is troubled with the mess this attractive gal may create later. But well, he will always have the security guard option, and this is his job and his work place anyway. They make money from troublesome people like his former student tonight. Her cheekiness sort of evokes a small smile from Kakashi nonetheless:
"Champaign and Sochu? Isn't it a weird combination"
"It is. But I feel like doing something that doesn't make sense today, why does everything have to make sense by the way? Can we just do meaningless thing once in a while?" – She shrugs and applies the smallest amount of chakra in her palm to suck the bottle cork out. The small exploding noise of the champagne bottle serves to punctuate her sentence.
Sensing a rather disheartened mood clumsily concealed by a fake jolly smile, Kakashi chooses to go along rather than digging other unwelcomed conversation up. He is never a nosey person in the first place:
"Of course we can do meaningless thing for a change" – he smiles at her only to receive a sceptical look:
"For a change? I've witnessed you doing so many meaningless things before" – she points out sharply, her mouth is trying to restrain quirky grin.
"Me? When did you see me doing unnecessary things?" – Kakashi counters the accusation calmly but a small smile is also playing on his lips
"Yes you do, so many silly things, like this" – poking at the small square-shaped swell from his pants' pocket, Sakura narrows her eyes then grins merrily when Kakashi levels her with a slightly menacing look:
"Insulting another's favourite hobby isn't nice, Sakura-chan"
"Oh, sorry, I don't know it is that meaningful to you" – She feigns a sincere sorry expression but the sarcasm in her voice is unmistaken, because she knows for sure that his ire is also an act: "It must be really hard to live amongst us - low-brow, uneducated people who could not appreciate porn written by an old peeping tom"
"I've never criticized your cheesy chic flicks and bednight story slash romance slash soft-core porn books you have in your kindles, haven't I?" – retorts Kakashi evenly after sipping another bit of sochu, his face as apathetic as ever.
Sakura's anger instantly rushes to flame up her cheeks:
"It's not soft core porn, it's well-written love story with logical development and wonderful characterisation that excites you to no end"
"Logical in a very incidental make-up situation that is completely unrealistic in real life? All are just to lead to a disappointing sex scene after a predictable life and dead scenario of some sorts, did I say soft-core porn for chicks – he carried on with ease, seemingly unaffected by the invisible daggers this rosy haired girl throws at him.
"They call it creating plot twists and climax, in case you don't know anything about creative writing. That's why the sexy bits are really sexy because they build up on emotion and suffering, not like the type of animal-like intercourses with weird positions that no one would try in real-life described in Jiraiya-sama's books."
Her voice starts to raise an octave and anger seeps through her glare. It is kinda lame of her to lose her cool head so fast in an argument when Kakashi just looks like he is having a good time there by succeeding in effotlessly provoking her. And shit, has she just slipped her tongue again? An amused smile creeps upon Kakashi's lips:
"So you do read Icha-icha"
"I…" – there's no point in denying after all – " errh, I means it's one of the best-selling series of all time right, I'm just curious…"– a deep blush taints the younger girl's cheeks as she has to lower her stare to the bar wooden top, momentarily unable to hold his scrutiny any further. This man has no shame when it takes very little to embarrass her.
Suddenly, a thought strikes her: "But hey, wait…when did you touch my kindles?" – She jerks her chin up immediately to face him accusingly, which makes the silver-haired man chuckles:
"I was bored in the hospital and you confiscated all of my reading materials, remember?"
It was a few months ago when Kakashi came back from a deadly mission with a serious injury on his back. Knowing this man's distaste towards staying in the hospital for intensive care and therapy, Sakura had to personally threaten to burn all of Kakashi's favourite series if he left the hospital before his treatment completed.
But no matter how badly wounded this man was, he was still Kakashi, proven by his intact stealth ability since when Sakura came back to the page where she left off in her Kindles, it was always the exact same page where she was reading before. But now come to think about it, the batteries did last slightly shorter than normal around that time.
"Remind me to check my credit card after meeting you, Kakashi-sensei" – Sakura says coldly with a frown while her hands finish pouring chandon into two cups. Pushing one towards her former teacher, the kunoichi puts on her smile again:
"This first, and then yours"
Reluctantly picking up the cup, Kakashi peers through the clear light golden liquid:
"Champagne in a cup, interesting?"
"Taste is all it matters, doesn't it, cup or glass is just the container" – picking up her own, Sakura breathes in the intoxicating smell.
"Oh, so you finally learn that beauty is only skin deep?" – Kakashi chances a glance at the former student's face teasingly but unexpectedly, these outwardly harmless words strikes up something deeper and more sensitive than he could realise as Sakura just goes still for brief moment and her stare becomes absent:
"Long time ago have I realised that…" – mutters Sakura, barely audible amongst the noise background of the bar's music and chattering.
"But it doesn't matter by the way, why don't we toast for something" – quickly recovers, Sakura raises her cup.
And a wise man like Kakashi always knows when he shouldn't pursue an awkward conversation:
"Good idea, how about a toast for you, Sakura-chan"
"No, a toast for us, Kakashi-sensei, when was the last time we talk like this?"
Probably nearly two years ago.
And it's all because he has been trying to avoid her since. They just got back to the normal level of their distant friendly term recently when that thing happened.
He remembers it was a similar night like this, the snowfall was a bit thicker, but she was still the same, disarmingly beautiful in her winter coat and slightly stunk of alcohol. Pink cheeks and glazed eyes that made normal men find it hard not to think of something else that could make her cheeks blushed deeper and her eyes glassier.
He should not think of her that way but it is impossible to ignore a gorgeous flower blooming by your side after all these years. Women are the strangest creatures. Their transformation can happen overnight. Still the same face, the same features, but one day, you suddenly realise how womanly their curves turn out, how charming their smiles are and how alluring their gaits exude when they move about. Just a simple tuck of their hair behind the ear could ask for your unconcerned eyes' attention without trying. Just a simple touch on your bicep when they check your injury could make your heart thump harder. Or maybe, it is just like this with Haruno Sakura. Someone who is totally off-limit.
But soon his agony of two years will end. Hopefully.
Raising his cup up to tap against hers with an audible clang, Kakashi smiles lightly:
"Ok, for us then, old teammate"
"and friend" – she finishes and they both gulp down the liquor in union. The sour, dry taste turning sweet when passing the oesophagus makes Sakura exclaims in delight:
"Sugoii, nice Champaign, not bad a present"
"You can't even wait for three more weeks to open it?" – Asks Kakashi, curious with Sakura's sudden yearning for alcohol.
"No, I feel like drinking anything I can get my hand on at the moment" – She bursts out laughing by how wrong it sounds for a professional medical practitioner as famous as her. Now she sounds like an alcoholic.
For some reasons, Kakashi cannot bring himself to share her humour. He knows something is up the moment she appears in this bar stunk of booze. As sensible and controlled as she is with her chakra, Sakura is never the type who has to depend on alcohol to avoid dealing with difficult situations in their life.
She is very much similar to Kakashi in this area. They drink for fun on occasions to celebrate with friends and when they feel like it. Unless, there is a serious problem that they feel at their dead end.
Considering, that will happen pretty soon, Kakashi finds it hard to believe it could be something else. Even if Sakura herself denies it. A small voice at the back of Kakashi's head immediately instigates him to stay out of the pink-haired trouble, and he is never the type who can comfort people in the first place but the other dominant part just keeps him glued to the seat next to her. He cannot explain it, but when she looks like this, smiles like this, he cannot abandon her no matter how much his pre-cautious nature tells him to.
"Sakura, what's wrong?" – placing his hand on her shoulder, Kakashi is surprised with how serious he actually sounds.
This catches Sakura off guard but she still manages to smile it away:
"Nothing" – that doesn't sound convincing in the least so she adds – "Just work, Tsunade-shishou just overwork me I guess"
"OK, as long as it's work, there's nothing worth worrying about" – He doesn't sound convinced but pressing people into confessing things is not Kakashi's style either. Reaching out to his own bottle of souchu, Kakashi pours the liquor into the two earlier Champaign-full cups:
"Here it is, don't spit it out on my face if you can't stand it. It costs money you know" – warns he.
Sakura snorts loudly: "What a cheap skate you are, Kakashi-sensei" and picking up the cup before tapping it against Kakashi's.
"Is this the first time you met me?" – clearly being amused by Sakura's frequent insults rather than getting riled up over it, Kakashi takes all of his strong booze down with two gulps and entertains himself with the suffering scowl of Sakura's face when the liquor literally burns her drinking pipe from the inside. At least she honours his words not spitting it out:
"Gosh, this is horrible"
"I didn't offer you to drink it in the first place" – Playing with the rim of his own cups, Kakashi grins merrily.
"So you can drink mine for free, no thank you" – Sakura quips – "It's not every day that someone can pry something off you, you know" – Sakura sticks her tongue out with a crunch of her nose bridge, unconsciously Kakashi finds it endearing but she should in any circumstance find out about this. This is his little secret.
Being with a sharp-tongued, highly intelligent and infuriatingly cute girl like this is always pleasant to a man who loves to silently challenge things like Kakashi. Maybe it's not too wrong to allow him this little luxury of being in her presence. Maybe, it's not too bad to be at the receiving end of her warm smiles even though they are fake. Because just three more weeks, these will soon become distant memories that he can only recollect in a lonely freezing night like this with just himself and a bottle of souchu. After all it is indeed too hard to deny himself of a lovely companion.
"So how is Tsunade-sama lately?"
"Still drunk and grumpy as ever, she said she couldn't wait until her retirement anymore. But Naruto is picking things up very quickly so I think she doesn't need to wait for long."
It's startling for Kakashi to see Naruto these days without realising how much of the likeness he has with his former sensei. Especially when the blonde shuts up and does not display that trademark foxy grin of his. His sensei up there must be so proud of this child.
"Is Hinata pregnant with the third child now?"
"Yes, seriously, knowing Naruto, he's very productive in every area I guess" – Sakura chortles while the third drink between them is poured from her Chandon bottle.
"I was surprised that you guys didn't hook up eventually" – words slip out of his tongue before he can stop himself, causing Sakura to pause her pouring and turn to eye him astoundingly:
"Naruto and I?"
"Yes, He was pretty much head over heel in love with you, wasn't he?"
"It's just a childhood infatuation, Kakashi-sensei, everyone has one and everyone grows out of it at some points" – Sakura points out – "you must've had one too, right sensei?"
"No, I was always too cool to take notice of no one" – Kakashi answers smoothly
"Liar" – for some reasons, she doesn't trust him – "you just don't want to admit that you were once young and stupid" – she laughs
"So you think Naruto was young and stupid when he liked you?" – the temptation to bait this feisty girl is always too much fun for Kakashi to reject.
"Well" – that gets her just right as Sakura is stammering to find a good come-back – "true love needs a bit of obstacles to overcome I guess, I was just a lovely and tempting obstacle that they need to make a detour around to find each other" – Sakura raises her shapely eyebrow to convey another proud and playful glint.
Clearly, she is lovely and tempting, but Kakashi still does not like her comparing herself with an obstacle. This honest and kind-hearted girl will never be an obstacle to anyone. He knows that she fell for Naruto briefly after Sasuke left for two and a half years. But she had stepped back after Hinata came into the scene. Maybe fighting over a boy was the very first important lesson his only female student had learnt in life that something is not worth pursuing. Or clearly, she never gets over her "silly and young" crush for someone else. He had thought that Naruto and Sakura could make the finest couple in Konoha just like his Sensei and Kushina-san. But life never turns out the way he thinks it should be.
"maybe I never notice Hinata much in the first place" – He concludes.
"I used to think that you hardly noticed anyone, Kakashi-sensei" – sneers Sakura with a hint of mischief.
"Used to?" – for some mystifying reason, Kakashi turns to bore meaningfully into Sakura's face: "What makes you think of me otherwise" – another consequence of his loose tongue again. Well he can blame it on the booze later. Considering the history between them, he may more or less know the answer but he just feels like pressing the button a bit.
Raucous laughter suddenly erupts from the door of the bar as a group of around ten chuunins just make their not so quiet entrance. It is not that quiet in the bar before with all of the chatters and loud music, now it just gets worse. Maybe that is the reason why she suddenly needs to lean in very close to his ear, so close that he can feel the cool air coming out from her parting lips, causing his sensitive skin tingle treacherously:
"Ever since I find out that you're just clumsy with emotions, that's all" – she answers meaningfully.
"But I'm not that clumsy amongst other things, am I?" – now it's Kakashi's round to return the favour as he whispers back into her ear, so close that his lips nearly brush its rim. The effect cannot be missed as small shudder cannot lock itself from Sakura's petite frame. And her fluttered downward eyelashes are just another obvious pointer of his influence on her. The light in the bar is dim but Kakashi can still feel her cheeks' hue is darkened. Why does he do that? He has no idea. Her actions could be honestly unintentional because of the gaudy background noise but his? Apparently he is not that moral as he thinks he is in the first place.
She quietly retreats to her original place and raises the cup to her moist lips while sparing him a secretive smile that he knows for sure it is another effect of alcohol – limiting one's inhibition. Normal Sakura would be a lot shyer and more reserve. Normal Sakura would not be that tolerate of their improper innuendos. Should he care if they are acting that way? Flirting with each other is a wrong thing to do considering their current situations, isn't it?
"Clang" – the dry sound of glass on glass goes off against as Sakura taps her cup against his for the third time: "Sensei, don't forget your drink, we haven't finished them yet, have we? So tell me about your newest S-class mission in the Cloud country. Did the technique I told you last time help?"
Like magic, the tension in the air between them dissolves and the night rolls on with adventures of their own missions and ninjutsus and genjutsus that they learn on their own. Then they talked about politics, the pros and cons of banning the captures of tailed beast in each country. They debates and argues with each other but never gets angry even in a heated discussion. Sakura is amongst a few younger kunoichis whose interests do not just revolve around clothes and perfumes and jewelries. Her fierce intellectual is a great quality that Kakashi always highly appreciates. Or maybe, she is amongst the very little female population that he actually enjoys a conversation with.
Give it or take it, no matter how famous or powerful or gorgeous a person is, the Copy Nin does not feel obligated to converse with anyone unless they are truthfully an interesting person in the first place. After the third ninja war, they do not have many opportunities to meet and talk with each other because of their different scope of missions. But anytime they meet, the conversation will keep going on so naturally until they completely lose track of time.
Many cups of Champaign and Souchu and four cups of beer later, Sakura is giggling uncontrollably onto her folded arms on the bar table:
"So you just practically had to kiss and drag a naked Guy sensei out of that amazon kunoichi tribe to save his ass?"
"That idiot, even when I told him don't play around with any of them in the first place" – says an embarrassed and very much drunk older jounin.
"Gosh, this is the best story I've heard in years. But I'm curious…"
"Hmm?" – Kakashi sweeps his glance towards the glassy eyed girl:
"Was it a bare-lipped kiss with tongue or through the mask?"
He nearly chokes:
"Gosh, Sakura, through the mask of course, I shouldn't let you force me to relive one of the most horror second of my life"
She cannot help bursting into a whole-hearted mirth. The mental image is just too much for her to stand while Kakashi's lip corner just silently curves up into a humiliating smile. Clutching her belly with one hand and wiping away the tears threatening to fall from the corners of her eyes with another:
"But somehow, I feel relieved that you still have your mask on, Kakashi-sensei, I wouldn't want anyone to kiss your bare lips"
It is a wrong thing to say because as soon as words leave Sakura's lips, silence just rules over them as the former teacher and student rivet at each other. The bar's noise seems like retreating a few miles back and echoing from a very far far away place. After what seems like eternity, Kakashi is the first to find his voice and break their enthralled state by reverting his attention away from her pretty face:
"Uhm, it's very late already" – eyeing his half-full beer glass repentantly, Kakashi finishes it off with two large gulps and stands up: "I think I need some good rest now"
Fast on her feet as well, Sakura hastily brushes off her own discomfiture:
"Yes, you're right, it's very late. We should go home"
Putting on their respective winter coat and getting out of the bar door into the snow-filled street, the student and the teacher do not exchange a single word.
An awkward contrast with their non-stop chatter before. Both seem to be afraid that they may just end up saying the wrong things.
Soon the bar music ceases to exist after a few corner turns. The narrow alleyways start to turn wider and roomier as the pair strides to the main road. It must be at least two or three in the morning now.
Although living in two different sides of Konohagakure, Kakashi and Sakura still share the same long road over the bridge that connects this entertainment part of town with its residential areas. So as much as Kakashi wants to get home as soon as possible, it is just not that easy. The whole evening has been a rather perilous circumstance in Kakashi's opinion since they were pretty much dancing around forbidden topics which he has no intention to pursue at all time. It does not help with all the alcohol in his system but he would rather control himself than doing reckless things that will make him regret later.
Nonetheless he should know better that it is never easy to evade her. Even nature has a way to disturb him. Because Every now and then a winter breeze sweeps pass, casting the wonderful aroma that is so Sakura-like onto Kakashi'senses causing him to momentarily drunk in absence. Even though he has instigated their parting, the Copy Nin cannot help but reward himself with some deep inhales of that womanly fragrance into his nose. He wants to remember this scent no matter what. As long as she does not know about this, there is no harm, isn't it?
The road is long but short, soon they will go back to be two one-timed teammates again. Soon they will just wave at each other from distance and hurry to part way to go on with their life. Soon everything happened between them will just be remembered as a moment of weakness. Inattentively, Kakashi wants to slow down his long stride so that this road will last longer.
Suddenly as soon as they reach the bridge, Sakura jumps on top of the rail to walk on it instead of using the normal civilian route on the bridge's surface. Probably not a good idea when you are that drunk and the bridge is ten feet above the freezing water. But how she is balancing herself skilfully in her wobbling state gives Kakashi an idea that this is not the first time she's doing this:
"Don't try to show off your chakra controlling skill too much, Sakura-chan. I'm not marking you against anyone here, you know" – Kakashi chuckles a bit when Sakura turns to narrow her eyes at him:
"I don't show-off, everyone knows that I'm perfect at it, I'm even better than you Kakashi-sensei"
"Touche" – he smiles at her again, lenient and warm this time – "I'm glad that you all surpass me and find your happiness, Sakura-chan"
This time Sakura just stops dead on her track causing Kakashi to pause to eye at this deliberately troubled girl. As silent as the light snowflakes falling down on her cheeks, hair and shoulders, she stands there in utter stillness but somehow he can feel the mental struggle she has from within is not at all quiet. Ever so slowly her eyes are filled with unshed tears again, but this time it is not because of laughter or alcohol influence:
"Kakashi" – the silver-haired man's heart skips a beat when she drops the suffix: "I'm getting married in three weeks, is it wrong that I don't feel that happy when I'm supposed to?"
She holds his gaze expectantly as if his next answer will decide whatever it is between them that they have try desperately to evade this whole evening, or maybe for the last two years. But what does she expect of him? What are they? Sakura should know that their parting is for the best:
"Sakura, this is what you've wanted your whole life, isn't it? Getting married to Sasuke"
"I don't know anything anymore, Kakashi, I don't feel the same way when he comes back, I don't feel the same way around him when I'm around you, not after that kiss you gave me two years ago" – tears had flooded her eyes and rolled down her cheeks in a swift motion as Kakashi just looks like some lightning bolt has struck him dead on spot:
"Sakura…" – he manages but nothing can come out after that
"How can you pretend that there is nothing happened between us? How can you ignore me for the last two years? Why did you mess me up and then ran away like a coward?"
"It's just a kiss, Sakura" – he protests weakly, eyes cannot leave her face as his chest gets tighter every second observing that pained expression of hers.
"It's not JUST a kiss" – she shouts – "you know that damn well, considering it is us" – stepping down from the bridge rail, Sakura shoves herself towards the uncertain Copy Nin and violently whacks his chest with her fists:
"You're a bastard Kakashi, if you dare to kiss your own student, then have some courage to take responsibilities for it, don't deny yourself that you don't feel anything for me"
"Sakura" – his hands snatch up to her wrists to keep her in place so fast and firm that Sakura is left to glare at another pair of equally angry mismatched eyes. And just a heartbeat before that she knows what is going on, he violently leans in and kisses her.
At first, it is a clash of lips and teeth that will definitely leave bruises later on and because she is fighting back with a passion. But Kakashi doesn't give up on his hold of her as he keeps on kissing and kissing her while his whole body grabs on to her petit one to subdue this fiery little volcano.
He does not care if the taste of their kiss becomes salty and bloody because soon his tongue has found its way into her mouth and his lips have taken full control of her disagreeable ones. A throaty moan escapes her as he wrestles her tongue with his own. Even the alcohol is blatant in their oral caverns, she tastes just sweet as he remembers or even better. This unique smell of Sakura is what he has been dreaming about for the last two years. This saliva of hers is more syrupy than any forest honey he could ever taste. She has no idea how much he wants to drink dry her soul and her passion through this kiss, how much he wants to ravish her and make her orgasm multiple times until she cannot walk anymore for days. She just has no idea because she always makes him feel like Uchiha Sasuke is the only man that she can ever love.
And now she is just as responsive to his kiss as the first time he kissed her in a drunken night like this. Now she is just as passionate as he always knows she can be in love and in life and it breaks his heart seeing a bastard like Sasuke will never know how lucky he is to have such a girl. How he never can bring the best out of her.
They kiss and kiss while he nearly shatters her apart in a strangling embrace. She does not seem to mind if she disappears right there right now. She does not seem to care if he will break her apart because she does not seem to want him to stop. He knows it because Sasuke can never kiss her like this. Because Sasuke can never give her a kiss that makes her feel so alive.
But no matter how they want it last, the kiss finally breaks as their lungs are screaming for oxygen. Moulding her cheeks between his large hands, Kakashi's forehead touches hers as he says between ragged breaths, which are oddly in tune with the raising, and falling of Sakura's chest:
"We need to stop this Sakura, people will get hurt because of us"
"I don't want to…stop" – She sobs, eyes closed to contain the outburst of emotions.
"Please Sakura, everything is too late" – he pleads and pulls her into another embrace so her chin can rest on his shoulder: "I'm sorry"
And with one last squeeze, he lets go of her. His back turns against her before they can even make eye contact with each other, insinuating to Sakura that he wants her to be the one that walks away.
Silence ensues once again for what seems like eternity – the thick heavy silence that can suffocates anyone within it. He just stands there, refuses to budge or makes any move. Even though he doesn't look, he can feel her stare burning at him, making the tender hair at the back of his neck raised ever so slightly. Every second passes by heavily like a wounded animal trying to tumble its way through the thick snow. He waits and waits, unaware of his own breaths become shallower. Even with her silence, this girl can still insidiously kill him from inside.
Then the slanting shadow of his female student on the bridge floor starts to shift and running footsteps on wooden surface echoes around his ears in painful thud thud thud sounds. This time he cannot stop himself from following her running figure, which is soon swallowed by the darkness of the abysmal street.
"This is for the best, Sakura"
She does not know how long she has been running with a dead-tight chest and spicy, choked nose bridge filled with repressed emotions bubbling to burst open at any moment. She has told herself to let go when she agreed to Sasuke's proposal. She has told herself to give up on her silly feeling with a man who is unable to return it. What right does she have to cry? This is not the first time he turns her down…why does she still feel this agonizing because of something so predictable?
The familiar brown oak door of her apartment materialises in front of her like an emergency exit she needs so badly. She needs a shelter to vent out all of her pent-up emotions all alone but her shaky fingers do not seem to cooperate as she cannot seem to bring herself to calm them down to insert the key into its keyhole. Miraculously, it works at the n time when she is nearly about to throw the useless key chain down on the ground out of frustration.
Rushing inside her own home, the heartbroken kunoichi slams the door shut and with her back leaning heavily on the solid timber, she gradually slides off as her knees buckle down with the drainage of her muscle strength.
Touching her cold cheeks dampened with moisture, Sakura realises she has been crying all this time running back from the bridge. Away from Kakashi. Even when she has told herself not to cry, it still happens – a clear evident that she is absolutely useless around this man.
How can she be so stupid? Why did she walk up to him in that bar? Kakashi never wants to have anything to do with her in the first place and does he not make it all crystal clear by giving her a cold shoulder for the last two years?
Like he said, it's just a kiss. No matter how heart-melting it was and how passionately he seemed to give himself into it, it is not something worth to mesmerise for two years.
But anytime, they cross path, her heart never seems to be at peace. It has always gone on a roller-coaster ride with anything related to this man. She would hurry her steps to catch up with him if she just saw so much of a glimpse of silver spiky lock from afar. If it was really him, she would just pretend that she was accidentally going this way, and her heart would hammer so loud in her chest as if he was the only existence that mattered to it. If she does not catch up with him in time, she can feel the disappointment it experiences because it was like being fallen into a bottomless pit without anything or anyone to hold onto.
He never seems wanting to stay long when she appears, just a few casual greetings and he will be out at the door in a jiff. Sometimes Sakura doubts so much if their kiss is just a weird dream her bored mind came up with to tell her there is more to life than the sad relationship she is having with Sasuke now. But then the way her former teacher's eyes linger on her when he thinks she does not notice confirms her that it did happen that night, their first kiss – her first kiss.
Raising her fingers up to feel her abused lips, Sakura closes her eyes tightly to try to stop another torrent of unnecessary sentiments, though pointlessly, two more teardrops still escape in time to roll down her cheeks.
The feeling is still here vividly. His masculine, primitive smell is still here, besieging her keen sense. His overpowering warmth, his strong embrace, his lips, his tongue, everything she desires in so many dreams for the last two years is all here, coursing through her entire being like some atrociously addictive drugs. But worse than that, she does not think any narcotic can make her hurt for this long after ceasing to use them for two years. And this time, how long will it affect her life? She will be someone else's wife in three weeks and he gives her that kiss.
Unreasonably, hatred grows inside Sakura. She hates him. She hates how he unintentionally plays with her heart by pulling her in and pushing her away at the same time. She hates how he can easily ignore her and treat her like a stranger for the last two years but then when he kisses her, he can simply turn her whole world upside down.
Sasuke has kissed her so many times, but none of his is like Kakashi's. None of his kisses makes her feel that alive and hurt and happy at the same time like Kakashi's kisses. She knows even when he acts clumsy and carefree on the outside with his perpetual tardiness, on the inside, this man is the worst sticker for morality and honour. He would never be the third person in anyone's relationship let alone his students'. He chose to stay away then, she knows he will choose to stay away now.
She did not hope to change this or created a mess out of everything when she walked up to him in that bar because as he said it was too late. But when she saw him there, all alone in a crowded bar with just a bottle of souchu, with his mask down, her body moved on its own accord. Because she wants to see him so badly, wants to be able to talk with him, smile and laugh with him like a long long time ago before Sasuke decided to start everything over again with her. Because she is always attracted to Kakashi like a helpless moth to a deadly radiant light. He never knows how easy she can throw everything she has away for him if he wants her to…
A sudden knock on the door startles Sakura and instantly she can feel his chakra signature behind the door, her heart just stops.
It can't be…
She must be dreaming again:
"Who's that? " – she hears herself asking, trying her best to contain the quiet sobs from her ribcage, uncertainty filled the air around her thick.
A long long pause entails and finally:
"Kakashi"
Instantly feeling dizzy because of the neck-breaking movement to stand up, Sakura's hand pauses on the door knob for a few seconds.
This will change everything…
The small voice at the back of her head whispers….
But she does not want him to go. Not ever.
The door is swung open and Kakashi is there, slightly out of breath, apparently because of running after her. His mien is so different from the unperturbed person she always connects with. His eyes for a rare moment are no longer hooded and unconcerned as something so akin to passion seems to break free from the well-guarded prison of his own soul.
Kakashi will never be an open book to anyone no matter how close they are to him but at this moment, for the very first time, the younger kunoichi thinks she has caught a glimpse of the inside of this enigmatic man because in all honesty, he looks like he is about to do something he will regret later…
His large hands reach out to grab her face in a firm, decisive but oddly gentle motion to capture her lips in his hungry ones. In a heart-beat, she melts into it like snow carpets under hot morning sun.
She is backtracked by him into the house and the door snaps shut after them as if hurrying to preserve their special intimate moment on its own. Not wanting to break their kiss, their hands were fumbling in the dark to remove each other's outfit. First gone is Kakashi's jacket, then Sakura's. Then reluctantly, the kiss has to cease so Kakashi can help his petit lover get out of her knitwear to her tank top underneath. With a skilful tug of the zipper, Sakura's short skirt falls on the ground. By the time they get to the pink-haired girl's bebroom, many clothing items have been shredded and strewn in abandonment on the wooden floor.
In his strong hand, the silver-haired man scoops his former student up effortlessly so that his front torso is wedged between her long legs. His eyes bore into hers again for a few seconds to find any uncertainty. He finds none. If there is anything, it is just affection.
She leans in again until her soft tress tickles his forehead and his cheekbone; slowly she kisses him, deep and luxurious. This girl will never know how easily she can drive him to the brink of insanity. Perhaps somewhere amongst this mayhem, there is a small voice of reason still nagging him that what they are doing now is wrong, but he cannot care less. Because right now, there is only one sensation raging over his entire being, taking full control of his mind, pushing all the other trivial feelings of guiltiness away like a full-on tornado, sweeping clean everything on its wake – He has to take her. He has to make her his. Right here, right now.
He lays her down on the bed, then with his whole body looming over, effectively trapping her underneath, he gawks at her for the longest time. Starving eyes mesmerize every details of her features, every contours of her feminine curves dimly lit by the hazy winter moon outside the window of her bedroom. She is in nothing but her panties and bra, and she is heartbreakingly beautiful. Most importantly, from her large deep green eyes, she wants him just as much as he wants her.
Then he kisses her again on the forehead this time and she grasps for the sudden vulnerability it transfers to her whole body. She never knows her forehead could be so sensitive, or maybe it's just Kakashi.
He slowly rains down kisses on the tip of her nose, her cheeks, her chin and then her neck, leaving a trail of hot sensations along the way – the kind of sensation that makes her spine shiver with anticipation.
He spends time to lick and suck thoroughly at her neck while his hands roaming under her back to unclasp her bra and helping her get out of it. Then he fondles and sucks her breasts with the sheer intensity he hardly ever displays except in the battle field. The rough calluses in his palm excite the thin-skinned of her bosoms, forming a gooey feeling straight down to her lower belly in time with the licking of his tongue on her nipples.
Once again, he goes lower with his sweet torture on her stomach with his fingers consequentially tugging at the edge of her panties. He gazes up at her the whole time when he peels the small undergarment away from her leg, the sheer sexual intensity shies her but she finds it impossible to look away from his handsome face. The evident thirstiness in his pupils made her inside squirm nervously. And she likes it.
Then he places his hands under her thighs and hauls her forward until her sex was just centimetres away from his front torso so that he can nest perfectly between her legs. His intention is very much single-minded:
"Can I taste you?" – lowering his face ever so slowly down to hover above her womanhood, he asks with a smile, probably teasing her but she just seems too engrossed in the increasing tension he creates when his face inches closer and closer to her sex to respond back. Smirking to himself, Kakashi takes her silence as an "yes" by starting to suck and taste the skin of her inner thighs lavishly.
Mewls tear from her throat involuntarily, dampness gathering thicker around her vagina and her mind is blinded with excruciating anticipation when his tongue glazes higher and higher. She tries to peer through her heavy eyelashes to mesmerise the face of the Copy Nin whose pair of tightly closed eyes and slight scowls formed between his brows indicates his deep concentration. Oh, how she loves making the great Kakashi look this lust-filled with abandonment? Unknown to him, witnessing him like this makes her feel more aroused than aphrodisiac.
The heavenly heady smell of her sex enters his keen scent, tempting him to taste her right there to see if she tastes as sweet as her smell.
He probably wants to tease her more, lengthen her suffering but truth to be told, he himself cannot wait.
His mouth finally closes on where she wants it most as his tongue immediately started on a hysterical dance of passion. It strokes and twirls around her wet folds while his mouth drinks and sucks her juice, urging and coercing it to produce more dampness for his thirst. This completely knocks air out of her lungs. Sakura cries out earnestly as if thousands of tiny electric currents are assaulting her whole body all at once, making her spineless and utterly vulnerable.
His tongue plunges so deep inside her that she has to throw her head back trying to suppress the overwhelming pleasure. The tender flesh between her legs is pulsating spasmodically with the prodding rhythm of his unforgiving tongue. She feels so wet and ecstatic and the goddamned drenched noise that he makes is as shameful as it is rousing.
Her one hand is clutching so tight to the bed-sheet to keep herself from falling apart while the other kneading through his thick lock, undecidedly to whether it should push or pull him close.
His greedy mouth keeps building up the tension between her legs as an ever-growing pressure coils up in her stomach, tearing uncontrollable whimpers from her throat. As if knowing exactly what she needs, he inserts one long finger into her and she can feel how eagerly her vaginal walls clamp down on that intrusive digit and instantly take on the delicious plunging in and out cadence it creates while his tongue still massaging her clitoris in a frenzied fashion.
This is the just too much. His long finger touches herself further and deeper than she can touch herself, and the knowledge this is Kakashi giving head to her, this is his finger inside her body alone makes her heart consumed with burning desire. It hits her like a violent whirlwind as her woman flesh convulses helplessly around his finger while his tongue immediately picks up her coming, flicking skilfully around her wet folds, coercing her to reach her final release…
"Kakashi" – she screams as the upsurge of desire climaxes at the very core of her womanhood. Her fingers twisting so hard around the bed sheet that the knuckles turn white and her feet are lifted up in mid-air trying desperately to suppress the irrepressible pressure.
Her eyes wearily shut while her inner walls are still pulsating and throbbing in the aftermath of what can only be described as a wonderful orgasm. Her body goes limb in Kakashi arms and she can feel between her laboured breathings how he raises his upper body up and devours her form again with his intense scrutiny.
When she has enough courage and strength to crack her eyes open again to regard him, his face is already inches away from her as he leans in to demand another kiss:
"You are so beautiful" – he says when she cradles his face with her small hands and he with his much larger ones. His eyes are so gentle and warm and it makes her feel like crying again all of a sudden because why does it take them so long to be with each other like this? Why does it feel so right when it is so wrong?
Fortunately she is able to hold all those sentiments back. Sakura leans in to give another peck on his beautiful lips and whispers while deep red blushes form on her cheek again:
"Please let me make you happy too"
His eyes are widened for a brief moment as he instantly catches on what she means:
"Sakura, you don't have to…"
But she already wriggles out beneath him and in a move worthy of her jounin status, she pins him right down on the bed, straddling right beneath his incredibly bulging anatomy:
"But I want to… I want to make you feel good" – her voice is barely audible. He can tell by the way her stare going downward and her eyelashes touching her high cheeks that she is very shy offering something as such.
This is a bit too much for any self-respecting ninja like Kakashi. Sakura is as usual so oblivious about how adorably sly she is. How she is able to look that shy and provocative and bold at the same is a mystery to Kakashi. After offering to do something any man would dream for by easily straddling him with her sweet damp womanhood, she instantly put on that vulnerable, self-conscious look in the depth of her sea-green eyes and the slightly curves of her parted lips. If he did not know any better, he would just think that she was otherwise inviting him to ravish her thoroughly.
He doesn't remember since when this bubble gum haired girl has driven him crazy but he can totally understand why. She is all fierce and girlish, cute and sexy, logical and sentimental at the same time, a tigress and a pussy cat all rolled into one. This creates a woven series of never-ending excitements around her that Kakashi could never find from any other woman he had met in his life.
Unable to contain the warm feeling filling his chest caused by her selflessness, Kakashi lifts his hand up to touch her face to direct her eyes back to his:
"Sakura, it's very cute when you say that but you don't have to, you know"
"No, but…I want to taste you too" – a small embarrassing but cheeky smile forms at the corner of her lips as her hands stealthily creep up to rub against the undeniable indicator of his turn-on which is ineptly covered by the thin fabric of his boxer. Kakashi nearly beats back a groan when she grabs him and excites two-fold by her mischief.
Slowly, she peels his boxer down to reveal a proud member desperately wanting to be released. Her body seems to move on its own accord down the length of his body to accommodate comfortably between his legs. Her face now hovers just about his erect penis while her hair curtains around her visage as if containing a secret. He cannot see her eyes from here but the way she seems to observe it in silence as if in awe makes him a bit more confident. Not that he really cares about this since the Copy Nin always knows he is on the large scale but he definitely does not want to be a let-down to this breath-taking girl who he has been desiring for so long.
"Kami" – it's Kakashi's turn to grasp as a soft, wet and warm tongue flicks over the most sensitive part of his manhood.
Slowly she drags her tongue up and down his shaft and over his balls to nip in lightly the squishy delicate parts of his body. Then her moist warm mouth closes over his painfully hard cock while her tongue twirls around the tender head repeatedly as if he is literally the sweetest lollipopshe has ever tasted in life. Her right hand move vertically around his member, skilfully rhythmic with the sucking of her oral cavern and tongue around the tip while her left hand gently teasing his balls.
His head nearly falls back on her mattress as he tries his best not to let out a shameful groan – he shouldn't, a ninja of his calibre needs to have utter control in any situation (and he is not that unfamiliar with seducing and being seduced for countless top-secret missions) but this dawn vixen seems to know exactly what to break his self-control apart effortlessly.
She etches herself in his heart without trying, she tortures him so much for the last two years without knowing. She has no idea how hopeless he is inside when she is around, how hard it is for him to just disappear from wherever she is as soon as possible so that he can remain sane for the rest of his life. Speaking of that, sanity is a funny word at this very moment. Ever since their attraction started, there is no saneness existing anywhere near.
She always drives him over the edge and when she runs away, he just knows that there is no way back for him because he can lie to himself for many years to come but the line has already been crossed long time ago. He can never see her as his mere female student or the fiancé of his traitorous student anymore. Because when she is just Sakura – the woman who loves him and whom he loves.
He tries so hard to lift his head up a bit so that he can see her working magic between his legs. He wants to remember this beautiful scene, he wants to remember this feeling forever and instinctually, he records the scene with his activated sharingan. Almost immediately, the sensation receiving and emitting lobes' reaction in his brain intensifies by tenfold as an unbearable gigantic upsurge of pleasure washes over his entire body, in perfect sync with her lapping and slurping around his oversensitive penis.
"Dammit, Sakura" – he growls frustratingly and before the pink-haired girl can even fathom what is going on, he raises abruptly, causing her to release his cock from her sweet mouth. Then a pair of strong and decisive hands grabs her waists, hoisting her forward and flipping her whole body down in a swiftest movement which can only be pulled off by the infamous Copy Nin. He traps her again under his wide, leanly muscular frame. With just one look in his fiery eyes, his intention to her is as clear as daylight. She knows he wants it as much as she wants it but he still clings to a bit of sanity left within him to make sure that he can let her back out now. She just reaches out to his face, brings it down for another deep kiss, then whispering into his lips she sighs:
"Don't be silly, I'm yours"
He plunges himself fully into her with one smooth roll of his manhood and for one second they both groan in unison, feeling so fulfilled and fitting as if the hollow holes in their hearts for their whole life are filled up to the brim. Then they move frantically against each other, with every intention of relieving that painful ache deep within the centre of their being, milking the life energy, the sexual need out of each other. The wet noises of their intimate part slithering against each other are echoing in the quiet night air together with their groans and sighs and whimpers.
"This is….so good, Kakashi" – Sakura grunts with difficulties between the hammering of her hearts and the delicious thrusting in and pulling out of Kakashi's cock.
"Uhm" – whimpers Kakashi, possibly barely able to form any word.
Encircling his large hands around her small waist, with one swift movement, Kakashi pulls his lover up to sit on his lap without breaking their connection so that she can slide up and down his shaft more needily while he captures her lips and once again glides his tongue against hers to intensify the tingling sensation between them. The fervent squeezing of Sakura's damp folds on Kakashi's manhood keeps pushing and pushing his tolerance over the edge as one wave of torturous pleasure does not even have time to fade then another already arises to take over. The skip between each wave becomes shorter and shorter with every plunge and thrash until the pink-haired girl's core completely tautens around the tip of her lover's penis and she faces with the ultimate outcome – a sexual explosion so unbearable. A loud scream breaks free from her throat, raw and wild.
Looking at her tightly shut eyes and pinched eyebrows, hearing her cry and knowing that he is the person who makes her feel this way shoves the very last bit of consciousness out of Kakashi's head as he grabs her hips harder to move her crazily up and down his cock. This lengthens her orgasm and leads him straight to his final release.
The explosive orgasm is so intense that he can feel himself violently burst out wet hot fluid inside her and jerky throbs pounding mercilessly along her vaginal walls. The ecstasy blurs his vision and paralyses his limbs. As muscle strength leaves his body, Kakashi collapses on top of the kunoichi's petite frame with heavy pants while she traps him in a huge embrace.
Then she says it…It just rolls off her tongue like it is the most natural thing to say.
"I love you too" – He responds evenly and easily. Because there is nothing else he wants to say. Just as simple as that.
….
"I'm sorry that I make you cry" – Touching her face so gently with his thumb and index finger, Kakashi looks sadder than Sakura has ever seen. His eyebrows are twisted in a deep scowl and his glint carrying so many emotions but mostly self-loathing and disappointment. She feels sad seeing him like this but deep down, a small bud of happiness is growing up in the depth of her chest because she knows of all the misery and heartache she feels for this man, he feels the same way. His natural lack of expression is all to make his suffering deeper and more enduring than anyone. It sounds sadistic of her to feel that way but she could not help a smile because she knows he only feels that way because there is so much love:
"It's ok, I won't be crying anymore if you are with me" – She says between her tears but these one are far from melancholy, they are the blissful ones.
Gently brushing away her tear, he smiles sadly again:
"People will talk…"
"I know"
"I know you'll care about what they say and it will hurt for a long time…"
"Yes, I do care about what they say, but I don't care as well, because if you're with me, it'll be bearable, I guess"
"How do you break this to him?"
"I don't know but this is what I should've done long time ago, even before this. Why did you follow me? I thought you've made up your mind"
"Because I'm weak, I guess. And you always know how to push my button"
"I do no such thing. If I knew how to do that, I wouldn't have to suffer your cold shoulder for the last two years"
"Of course you do, looking at me with these eyes, smiling at me with these lips, hitting me with these tiny but mean fists"
"Hey, I just want to know"
"Ok, because when you run away, I was just standing there without being able to walk away. I just realised that there was no way I could be right when you were that miserable and I was too. It couldn't be for the best. And I was just here before I could put my thoughts together, that was definitely the first for me"
"I know, I'm glad that you don't think for once in your life, if only it could happen sooner"
"What is wrong between you and him?"
"I don't know but after everything happened to him, He seems to be…unable to love. I know he cares about me in his cold way, and he's tried but it just doesn't work. We just fall into patterns and he thinks marriage may bond us better. I don't know if it works but I want to give it a try. But the closer it is to that day, the more wrong I know I am. And you…"
"Me"
"Yes, just five minutes spent with you that night, that kiss made me doubt if I've given up my true happiness for something that will never work out"
"We are very selfish here and he'll hurt"
"It's all my fault"
"He's not the understanding type, you know that right?"
"I won't let him kill you"
"All is good then"