Mutant Treasure Island by Batman100
Author's Note: So… I've been a huge Muppets fan and wondered how awesome- and funny it would be of doing a parody of this film X-Men Evo style. Of course, it will feature the awesome songs, notably Shiver my Timbers by the music god Hans Zimmer! Hope you like it!
"OK, everyone listen up!" Ghost Rider bellowed through the megaphone as the X-Crew and the Z-Warriors gathered "We are doing a parody" which responded with a few cheers… and some groans
"Not again!" Lance moaned. "We did that last month." Kitty reminded. The brimstone biker turned and gave her a look "Wanna bet?"
"Just what are we spoofing this time? Pulp Fiction? Inglorious Basterds?" Logan sarcastically asked
"No, and No to both of those! We're doing Muppet Treasure Island!" Ghost Rider declared proudly
"WHAT?!" the X-Men roared in shock. Vegeta fainted in disgust. "Ghost Rider, have you gone nuts?! We are NOT dressing up as weird-looking creatures!" Scott snapped "Ok, you get to be Gonzo. And trust me, you get a main part." Ghost Rider snidely replied. Scott whooped
"Jean… I cant believe I'm saying this, I don't know any other way to put it… you're Rizzo." Ghost Rider calmly stated, as Jean's eye started twitching
"A RAT?! WHY ON EARTH WOULD I DO THAT?!" Jean roared in fury, strangling GR by the neck
"You'll get more money. Now please… you're choking me." Ghost Rider wheezed. Jean planted a large kiss on him and raced off to the costume room
"Ok then…" Ghost Rider muttered and turned to Cell "Cell, you are Long John Silver." "YES! Finally, I get to be Tim Curry!" Cell exclaimed triumphantly, mimicking Frank N. Furter from Rocky Horror Picture Show (actually not that bad)
"Gambit, you're Smollet." Ghost Rider added, Remy gave a cheer "Uh… Peter, you're Squire Trelawney." Peter nodded in affirmation "Uh… Blob, Toad and Mastermind, you're Clueless Morgan, Polly Lobster and Mad Monty."
"ALL RIGHT!" the three flamboyant mutants cheered, Fred belly-bumping Toad and Mastermind, sending them flying into the storage closet
CRASH!
"Blob! Easy with those! That storage stuff cost me $40 grand!" Ghost Rider hissed. Blob nodded. GR then realized how stressful being a director is "Wanda, you're Benjamina Gunn. Pietro, Pyro and Hank, you're Mr. Silver, Beaker and Bunsen."
"Yes! Finally I get to portray my beloved idol!" Hank exclaimed, a goofy look on his face. Ghost Rider rolled his eyes and muttered, "Yes yes. Now all of you, get into costumes, NOW!"
"Excuse me, but what role do I have in this ridiculous excuse for a play?!" Vegeta snapped, his fist raised about to blast Ghost Rider. GR snarled then calmly replied "You're Billy Bones, the guy who gives Jim the map" then suddenly did a double take "18! You're Jim!"
"Wait a minute, wait a damn minute wiseguy… I am a WOMAN, not a MAN!" 18 bellowed. Ghost Rider teased in a sing-song voice "Then I guess you can forget about that extra expenses paycheck…"
"All right, you've got it!" 18 hurriedly obeyed, swiping the check from Ghost Rider's hand, as Gohan snickered in disgust
"Ok wiseguy, you and Trunks and Dende get to be the tribesmen." Ghost Rider ordered as they instantly did a limbo Jamaican version of PSY's Gangnam Style. GR instantly stomped over to the radio Duncan was using, grabbed a sledgehammer and smashed the radio- and Duncan's head with a loud SMASH!
"Ouch." Duncan weakly mumbled, keeling over with a splat. Ghost Rider faced the medics and ordered "Get that stiff outta here" and turned to Forge again "Forge, how soon can you recreate all the scenes from the film? Meaning the settings and scenery?"
"No problem sir. Wont take but a minute." Forge replied "Good man." Ghost Rider commented then faced Victor, Jamie Roberto and Amara "Victor, you're Sweetums, Jamie and Roberto, you're Statler and Waldorf and Amara, you're the big boisterous lady in the Benbow Inn."
"Yes!" Victor praised "Totally rad, dudes!" Jamie and Roberto echoed, high-fiving "I'll get the fat suit." Amara deadpanned, giving Ghost Rider a huge glare as she sauntered off
"Ok, everyone in position for the opening number! Now, lights! Camera! And my favorite part… ACTION!" Ghost Rider screamed, firing his pistol into the air, blasting down a large dove.
Camera pans backwards as we see two mountains over the horizons of a large, faraway island. Epic, rousing music is heard in the background as we hear Vegeta's monologue
"I was Broly's first mate on that voyage, three hazy days in the Caribbean. Broly knew an island. That's where we buried the treasure, gold and blood. They were Broly's trademarks. He'd leave both behind them that day." Vegeta rasped, muttering to himself "I cant believe Im doing this."
Victor smacked him "Shaddup. The song's starting" as Jamie clones set a large chest on the sandy floor
Shiver my timbers shiver my soul. Yo ho heave ho
There are men whose hearts are as black as coal. Yo ho heave ho.
Two Jamie creatures popped out from the bushes and sang "And they sailed their ship cross the ocean blue, a bloodthirsty captain and a cutthroat crew."
"It's a darker tale as was ever told of the lust for treasure, and the love of gold." Piccolo sung baritone as Broly's men moved onward
Shiver my timbers shiver my sides Yo ho heave ho
There are hungers as strong as the winds and tides yo ho heave ho.
"And those buccaneers drowned their sins in rum." Rogue belted operatically "The devil himself would have to call 'em scum." Evan added
"Every man onboard would have killed his mate, for a bag of guineas or a piece of eight." Roshi and King Kai chorused
"A piece of eight. A piece of eight." Piccolo and Chi-Chi added
"Of five six seven eight!" Waspinator echoed buzzing by. "Good cameo!" GR echoed
"Hulu waka hulu waka something not right. Many wicked icky things gonna happen tonight. Hula waka hula waka sailor man beware.." The Jamie tribesman chanted
"When de money's in de ground, dere's murder in de air" Two Jamie crabs versed "Murder in de air!" Jeice piped up
"One more time now boys!" Ghost Rider joined in (the boys part I threw in, thought it might add in)
Shiver my timbers, shiver my bones yo ho heave ho
There are secrets that sleep with old Davy Jones, yo ho heave ho We see Broly and his crew entering a cave as a Frieza snake slithers up
"When the main sail's set, and the anchor's weighed, theres no turning back from any course that's laid." Freiza hissed as a bunch of Jamie skulls added "And when greed and villainy sail the sea, you can bet your boot there'll be treachery" cackling as Jean yodeled a vocal verse as Broly pulled out two pistols and aimed them at his own men
"Shiver my Timbers shiver my sails." Ghost Rider and Jean echoed before both added "DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES!"
BANG! Broly fired. "Oh aye, fifteen men went on shore that day, and only Broly set sail." Vegeta continued as we see an image of Broly burn until we see Vegeta himself, with a stubby beard, a drunken slur and a faint Scottish accent (Well, considering he IS spoofing Billy Connolly)
"Oh aye then ol' Broly up and died before he could get back to that cursed island…" Vegeta ranted, sticking out a finger as a warning "…and dig up the treasure. No one knows to this day who has ol' Broly's map" Vegeta finished, heaving loudly and taking a swig of rum
"Isn't that a story worth the hearing!" the patrons echoed sarcastically. "Meh, wasn't the first dozen times we heard it." Ray joked, all laughing drunkenly "I'll drink to that, ho-ho!" a bobbleheaded Jamie chorused
"Who has the map now? Some filthy, insensitive biker-riding bonehead?" Vegeta asked
"I HEARD THAT WISEASS!" Ghost Rider yelled infuriated. Vegeta rolled his eyes and said the actual lines "Some black-hearted squid-sucking buccaneer, or maybe's it our very own Eighteen Hawkins! Eh, Eighty?" Vegeta chuckled as a ragged, filthy covered 18 walked in carrying a tray of goblets with wine and rum, Scott and Jean following, dressed as a red-headed rat and a… um, whatever.
"That's right! We'd be out searching for that treasure! Sailing the seven seas on a five-year mission! Boldly going where no man has gone before!" Scott ranted, parodying the Star Trek intro before adding "Sounds catchy."
"Oh, heh, not me. If I had that treasure map, I'd sell it for a decent meal." Jean sarcastically moaned, inching up to the table and glanced at Vegeta's barely-touched scraps. "Hey Scott is he gonna eat those?"
"Shut it." Vegeta grunted before loudly exclaiming "AYE! Beware of the One-Legged Android! HE'S the one to fear!"
"Namely… Meeeeee!" Cell bellowed in a hammed-up opera voice. Logan dope-slapped him and gruffly muttered, "Knock it off."
"Eh, don't worry Vegeta, we'll watch for him." 18 replied in an unfazed tone. Jean snorted and remarked, "Yeah, I'll see him. If he's delivering a pizza!" That earned a few more laughs from the drunken customers and an irate Vegeta plonking the mug on Jean's head
"He is more treacherous than Broly! They say he double-crossed him!" Vegeta rambled as 18 loosened the mug off Jean's head and added "It's all right, we'll keep an eye out."
"Yeah, I mean how bad is it? Broken arm, half hand or spleen?" Scott cluelessly joked. Vegeta pulled him by the neck and added "It aint no laughing matter, wiseguy. One-legged android brings DEATH!"
As if on cue, a very large Amara sauntered in, toppling Krillin and Goten off their chairs and squishing Icarus "Closing time! The last call's been made so pack up your goods and shove off!" Amara barked, knocking over a very inebriated Mr. Popo dressed as a cow
"You've had enough haven't ya?" Amara snorted. Popo belched loudly in response. Amara then retched in disgust and rasped "Boys, come here and clean up this mess!"
"Thank you for business. I'll go hang it in m' room." Vegeta muttered, stumbling off as the patrons exited the inn as Amara stuck her head out and called
"Don't forget tomorrow's special: roast suckling potatoes." Amara announced as a drunk whatnot grunted and walked off. With a growl, Amara slammed the door shut
"And CUT!" Ghost Rider announced, turning to Jamie and ordering "Go check on Garlic to see if he has his Blind Pew costume on."
"Boy, that was terrific! I'm kinda starting to like this! Not to mention I get to trash Cell in the show!" Jean exclaimed, laughing insanely. "Uh… yeah, you do that. Uh, Warren?" Ghost Rider called out
"Yeah boss?" Warren asked "Go do me a favor and get Ms. Grey to the alcohol removal Centre NOW! We need her for the pirate raid scene!" Ghost Rider ordered as Warren, Bobby and Forge assisted a drunk Jean walk over to the backstage "Ohhh, I LOVE it!" Ghost Rider proudly hissed
There you have it, Chapter 1 of this parody! Please comment and review and don't forget Chapter 2 aka Blind Pew is next