A/N: This was done for shits and giggles. I do not own any of this shit. Go fuck yourself.
Week 1
"What the hell is that fucking thing!" Rukia exclaimed, breathing laboriously, her flat chest heaving from the "exercises" her and Kon had been "practicing" together.
"What the...? NO!" Kon yelled, surprised as almighty shit.
Earlier that morning, Kon snuck into the limp body of his master, Ichigo Kurosaki, while the boy was out in town killing meager hollows in the line of his substitute Shinigami duty. Kon so desperately wanted to provide his jubious Kuchiki-kun a red hot dicking like she'd never experienced before. He wanted to jizz into her vagina.
"So that's what Kurosaki-san's... erm... junk looks like then, ehh? Shit..." Rukia pouted, as she glanced down at her rather comparatively tiny entrance. "Yeeah... I don't think this can happen, Kon-san..." she glumly said.
"Oh hush, you, we can make this bitch work! Open nice and wide, 'cause here I come! MYAAH! FALCON..." the once-plush-toy clamored as he reached over her entire form, which was sprawled out among the cover inside of her closet in Ichigo's bedroom.
"Oh no!" the young girl screamed as her canyon was excavated thoroughly by Kon in Ichigo's body.
"... PAUNCH, bitch! PAUNCH! ugh ~~ fuu" he yelled vehemently, finishing the job.
"Huh, phew... that was extreme! I'm so out of character right now it's hilarious!" Rukia said, while taking out a cigarette box from nowhere and retrieving a fag from within. "Care for one, Kon-san?" she asked Kon, as she offered him a stick.
"Eh, no thank you nii-san, I'm pretty worn out now..." he said.
"Huh... a minute man I see. Too bad!" Rukia declared, as she shoved the cigarette into her full wet lips, ah fuck it, LEPS, as she began to suck upon it.
"Um... is that a very healthy thing to do... nii
The before he realized it IZAN inpaled (lol) with his fucking swordz of dick and doom-... san...?" Kon asked, but before he could go on with his sentence, the girl took the cigarette out of her mouth and revealed it to Kon. He gazed at the drool that was caked over the mouth end of the fag.
"Oh... kay? What are you trying to say here, nii-san?" he asked, rather perturbed at the situation.
"Uhnn" Rukia groaned from the depths of her throat, the word barely escaping her lips, as she slowly but surely inserted the fag into her womanhood. She twisted it around some, for like a whole fucking minute, and then snatched it back out of her... snatch. T_T
"Ohh, I see, I see! So, um... I'm gonna go to sleep now, m'kay, nii-san? G'night..." Kon said, prior to yawning.
"B-but it's still morning you fucking freak! And c'mon, you barely even came!" she exclaimed.
"Yeah, yeah... QQ 'bout it in the morning, 'kay? Hmmmmmmm... zzzz" he murmured as he drifted off to sleep.
Disappointed, Rukia Kuchiki got up out of the bed in her closet and she started eating her clothing. She was wearing a simple pair of her bunny-patterned jammies and had on a spare pair of dusty grey jeans, since her epic leggings were still in the wash. And then Jaina Proudmoore arrived with Ichigo on her back, like a jockey, and she offered Rukia a ride through Disneyland. Rukia's eyes simply beamed with absolute and utter amazement when she head the words "Disney" and "Land" all at once uttered from the prodigy mage's mouth. "OMFG YUSSS" Rukia fangirl-gasmed as she hopped onto Ichigo's back, while he was riding on Jaina's back.
And so, just like a motha fuckin' unicorn or some wacked out shit, idk, Jaina proceeded to carry Ichigo and Rukia through Karakura, Japan, until she noticed that Kisuke Urahara was just plain-ol' fucking Yoruichi Shihoin doggy-style out in the middle of the street below. There seemed to be an awkward traffic jam at the scene, and the traffic light hovering above the two shameless lovers dinged through all of its colors maybe 10 times, and the cars still couldn't pull through the narrow street without hitting them. At least, until...
"Y'KNOW WHAT, FUCK THIS SHIT, MOVE OUTTA THE WAY OR Y'ALL BITCHES IS GON' GET FUCKED UP FO' SHO'!" the angry fried chicken-deprived black man in the silver niggered-up Cadilac bellowed as he began to cut in front of the entire pile-up and started rushing his locomotive right into Urahara's and Yoruichi's direction.
"Oh lo'dy, that crazy nigga's gonna kill dose po' kids!" some random fat nigger bitch excitedly deduced among the watching crowd on the sidewalk. "Run, chil'ens, run wit' da legs the almighteh Jesus gaves ya! Oooh, child!" the dumb bitch yelled to the two.
Urahara glanced at her and smirked dastardly while swiftly shoving two of his slick digits into Yoruichi's well-shaven twat. Also, apparently "shaven" isn't a word, according to .com. Who woulda thunkit? Oh c'mon, and so is thunkit? Shit
Then lerroy gave them all his dick right in their asses and everyone lived happily ever aftard
"Want to here a story" asked the boys father
"Yeah" he said egarly
"suck my dick"
The boy grows up gay the fathers a pedo and everyone dies end of story now shut up
"What did you just say, Captain Kuchiki!" Renji Abarai desperately asked his superior. "What do you mean!"
"It is as I've said... Rukia Kuchiki shall be escorted to the central execution chambers, where she will then proceed to SUCK MAH DICK."
"... What do you mean!" Renji asked again.
"Don't make me repeat myself..." Byakuya sternly stated.
"... What do you mean!" Renji asked again.
"It is as I've said... Rukia Kuchiki shall be escorted to the central execution chambers, where she will then proceed to SUCK MAH DICK."
"... What do you mean!" Renji asked again.
"Don't make me repeat myself..." Byakuya sternly stated.
"... What do you mean!" Renji asked again.
"It is as I've said... Rukia Kuchiki shall be escorted to the central execution chambers, where she will then proceed to SUCK MAH DICK."
"... What do you mean!" Renji asked again.
"Don't make me repeat myself..." Byakuya sternly stated.
"... What do you mean!" Renji asked again.
"It is as I've said... Rukia Kuchiki shall be escorted to the central execution chambers, where she will then proceed to SUCK MAH DICK."
"Oh, okay then. Thanks, Captain!" Renji said, content with the answer that he was finally given. He then walked out the room, whistling an epic tune, very happy with his life.
"Huh. Alright then, Rukia-san... come and receive your punishment." Byakuya said as he opened his haori, ripped off his kimono, and then slipped his shirt over his shoulders and let the items plop onto the cold concrete beneath his feet.
Rukia then slowly creeped into the room and whispered "Yes, brother..." as she walked up to Byakuya and then obediently began to SUCK HIS DICK.
Fin.
PICKLE!
Anywho, and as Urahara plunged his mighty accessories into Yoruichi's mighty cave, he then lifted his left leg up and Sparta-Kicked the fuckin' niggered-up Cadilac into a ditch 10 fucking miles away in Tokyo.
Anal beads
Light stood in front of Misa unbuckling his fucking britches
"Are you ready for this Misa?"
"Yes Light im ready, give it to me"
Light finally pulled down his pants and revealed what lay under
"..." Misa could only stare at what laid before her something so limp and small
"Uhh, Light is that it?"
/cry
Before her very eyes (and mouth) was perhaps the most bizarre and most insignificant sight to behold.
It was a mangina.
(and a fruit bowl behind it, tucked ever so neatly between his butt cheeks)
"Yes... all as planned. This is going just as I had imagined it when I was born. Now you shall begin, Misa-chan." he said to the pig-tailed loly girl.
"Oh... okay, Lighty... If you say so..." she said as she shrugged her shoulders and began to pleasure Light Yagami in his mangina folds with her wet tongue. It was so warm to the touch! Ughnn..
"Okay... and now..." Light began to say, "I will take this chip... AND..."
And then he took a chip from the fruit bowl in his ass cheeks and gouged Misa's left eye with it.
"EAT IT!" he exclaimed, chomping his mighty fucking dentures down into the fucking organic chip or whatever the fuck kinda gay ass Asian chips he said he liked.
"OMIGAWD MY FUCKING EYE! JESUS CHRIST OR WHATEVER GOD US ASIANS WORSHIP, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY EYE, LIGHTY!" the annoying little twat mongrel rudely asked her superior.
"Isn't it obvious?" Light began to coyly ask as he swallowed the gummed chip with cornea on it.
"I am...
KEE-DA!" he announced.
"OH NO!" Misa said.
"That's right... you triggered my TRAP CAWD, Misa-chan... goodbye... hee hee... heh... hee hee... hee... hee.. HEHE... HEHEHEHE... AHHAHAHAHAHAHA... !1!" he revealed.
And now... I shall STEAL YO VIRGINITIES!" he said as he creeped up behind the now cycloptic Misa Amane.
He grabbed her by her pigtails from behind and said "AFTERALL, NOTHIN' QUITE WINS A GIRL'S HEARTH STONE LIKE SURPRISE ANAL!" he shouted as he dug in.
*Light puts his cock in Misa's anus*
*she moans*
*He pulls out*
"Theres corn on it..."
"lol no there isnt thats orange juice" he said.
"Oh sorry must have been KFC from last night, I swear" Misa explained.
Solve for x.
"Wht their selling OJ at KFC better go get all I can" Light exclaimed as he jumped up and slipped over a pill bottle conveniently located under his foot.
And then, wudduya know, good ol' Louis Krepshaw comes bargin' through the door of their bedroom, his eyes bulging out his face as he spotted the crushed pill bottle that Light has slipped off of.
"AH KNEW IT... PEELZ HERE!" he yelled. He killed Misa with an M16 assault rifle and then rushed past her and snatched up dem damn pills like a fuckin' football player or some shit. He then tried emptying the contents of the bottle into his mouth, but to no avail - there were none left!
"OKAY WHAT THE FUCK... I'M 'BOUT TO GET PRETTY DAMN MAD UP IN THIS BITCH UNLESS SOMEONE GIVES ME A PERFECTLY REASONABLE EXPLANATION FOR WHY I CAN'T BE GRABBIN' ALL I CAN!" the pissed off negro shouted.
I mean, Light, spawned a Death Note page and tried reaching for it to kill Louis with, but then he realized that it was too high up in the air! He realized that the only possible way he could reach it was to go into Oracle Form and levitate it with his eye back down onto his desk so that he could pick it up and use it on Louis. He did so while dodging all of Louis's M16 rounds left in the clip. Light managed to get the page down to safety so that he could grab it, and he did. As Louis cursed at himself and desperately tried reloading his gun, Light charged at him with the Death Note page and paper cut him in his ducking' throat with it.
"Just as planned... Perfectly planned." Light declared, his eyes somehow turning red, the lighting in the room going dark (his parents were a bit late on the power bill this month, so... yeah _), and his teeth somehow expanding inside of his mouth so that he could articulate a perfect insidious smile that only a fruit bowl packing faggot could. Oh yeah, and he still has that damn fruit bowl packed in there tight! Shit, nigga!
"Here's the problem...too many toasters" Mario exclaimed.
"Fuck you!" Luigi said as he farted out a shit load of hippos, and, to his surprise, they were very, very hungry hippos!
Then the castle blew up and out CUM peach flying into the sky and...farting as well, expelling Captain Hotdog from her anus.
She looked over to the Mario raceway that was next to the castle and saw that there was a race going on (while flying through the air at high speed away from the castle, yes) and wondered what it must be like...
"you can't win the race haha" the fat man explained
"MY DICK! MY DICK WAS IN THAT HOTDOG!" Luigi exclaimed, as he caught the ass filth smothered meat in his mouth. "Mffyes, mffI can mfftaste my mfffdick in mffthis mmmfhotmffdog! Mfff mff mffffffff mff." he uttered, the length rammed into his mouth.
Meanwhile in the middle of nowhere on a penis shaped state two fatasses dicked their mothers. The end.
A/N: Well I hope y'all are enjoying this story so far! I may/may not continue... I'm waiting for requests!