A/N: This is my first Star Trek story but I made this account so they wouldn't get mixed up with my PotterWhoLock stories. I'm part of the new generation of Trekkies so I apologize if i get any characters or information wrong. :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek
It wasn't supposed to be a really busy day. Bones had a few cases of the flu on his hands, but nothing serious. That is, until James T Kirk was escorted in with a phaser stuck up his nose.
"What the hell Jim?" the doctor asked. Jim might do the stupidest things when it came to his allergies, but he'd never done something this stupid before. A gleeful Uhura was standing by, trying not to laugh. Jim glared.
"I threatened to stick my phaser up Spock's nose and he said it was impossible so I proved him wrong. Except now it's stuck," the captain muttered. Uhura was openly laughing now and McCoy snickered.
"Dammit Bones, fix me!" Kirk exclaimed, gesturing wildly at the gun in his right nostril.
"Hold your horses, I can fix it," Bones sputtered, trying not to laugh. He pulled Jim over to a bed and instructed him to sit.
"You might want to leave, Uhura," he suggested and a gasping Nyota Uhura left the sick bay holding her stomach.
McCoy gathered his supplies and went about the business of removing the gun from Jim's nose.
"Are you sure you don't want to keep it there? It suits you," he grinned as Jim glared at him as if he were about to smack him across the face.
"Just get it out," he groaned, "My nostrils don't stretch this much for this long." Bones nodded, trying not to laugh.
Twenty minutes and a lot of wiggling later, the slimy phaser was safely on a tray for cleaning and out of the captain's nose. Chekov had since arrived to ask if the captain was ready to come back and had left giggling like a little girl, after witnessing Jim sitting on a bed with McCoy peering closely at his nostrils. Once the kid had arrived, Bones had made sure he'd mentioned Jim's nose hair at least twelve times. It'd take Jim at least a week to smile that one off.
Now that he was finished and Jim was back on the, likely hysterical, bridge. McCoy found himself bored. Ah well, he thought, Jim will be bored too and soon enough he'll come back with an even better story. He wasn't wrong either, Spock came down a few hours later, informing him that Jim had accidently cuffed himself to his seat.
A/N: I hope you liked it. Please review if you did, and if you didn't, tell me what I could do better!