A/N The goverment shutdown affected Pokebang though this I had on standby... Enjoy and tell me if I should move this out of a crossover status or not. Like mentioned this is based on the suicide scene and Logan Lermans conversation with Nina Dobrev in the movie.

My room, my empty room my room that somehow I have spent less time in the past 7 journeys I've been on then in my first 14 years of life. I look through every one of my past outfits that mom put together for me. First my home region, Orange Islands, and Johto, almost nostalgic and yet there is something off about it. Hoenn follows suit, I always did like that hoodie, and the all black trim. Of the outfits Sinnoh I was not a fan of mainly due to the sweater vest. Last is my current white and blue Unova wear and that just made me sigh more.

What is it about all of these outfits and my journeys that just made me feel so empty. Sure I've made tons of fiends both human and Pokémon and have gotten to the semifinals of every league since Indigo and winning that trophy in the orange islands. But why is it that it just doesn't feel like it's enough.

Then the thought smacks me…

"I'm just going through the motions now."

The motions, I leave for a new region team rocket swipes Pikachu and I end up meeting either a rookie trainer or an up and coming expert. We go on a journey together and they get stronger along with me. In the end however they leave. They all leave, and now even with Alexa's offer to go back to Kalos with her I'm left to think…

They all will leave anyway….

Then come the flashbacks… from what mom has mentioned about dad and his own journey that he took before they met and him disappearing right before I was born. Whatever motion I was feeling before just got far worse then I could have imagined.

"Why can't I stop crying…?"

The tears were flowing badly I just got out of my room and went downstairs. Mom took Mimey and Pikachu over to Professor Oaks to get them checked out. So I was alone in the house the kitchen seemed like the best bet.

"Bagels do sound good."

The fridge was easy getting the bagels separated…Not so much. The bagel slicing did allow me to slice a new perspective on things.

"Moms knife."

The shine in its polished silver blade twinkled back in my eye. One slice and the pain goes away, no more loss no more struggling no more saying goodbye.

There was one person I did want to say goodbye to however and yet I do not think she was there right now but I needed to hear her one last time.

The number I've known by heart now so many times I could dial it without even blinking, it takes a bit before I hear the connect tone.

"Cerulean City Gym and Aquarium this is Daisy how my I help you."

The voice was a bit unexpected. "Daisy?"

"Ash…Were you looking for Misty?"

It took me a bit before I could respond... "Yeah."

"She's out right now can I take a mess…"

"Should I have ever stolen that bike from her Daisy…? If I had never stolen that bike I never would have met her and she wouldn't have come with me…Then Brock wouldn't have joined and I never would have had to let them go. Or Tracy, May, Max, Dawn, Iris, and Cilan any of them...Maybe I'm not supposed to be here maybe I..."

My rumbling could be overheard by Lilly as she walked by with Starmie all set to get it back into the pool.

"Daisy who's on the…"

"Lil, call Officer Jenny and send her to Pallet, do not tell Misty…I think Ash is trying to kill himself…"

Lilly rushed Starmie to the pool then headed for a private office as Daisy turned back to the phone.

"Ash listen, Misty is on her way over and I'm sure your mom and Pikachu are on there way back…"

The line went dead as the look on Daisy's face went blank… "Not Pikachu…"

I looked at the phone in my hand "Even Misty doesn't want anything to do with me…None of them do."

The knife looked more and more promising. I went around locking every door. Not wanting anyone to see this. As I set myself up to think of the last thing I'll ever say the tears were just flushed red on my face.

"Mom, Misty, Pikachu…Everyone…Thank you…"

The door was thudding really hard as the edge of the knife inched close to my neck.

"ASH NO!"

My vision went black as the last thing I could see was Officer Jenny and 3 deputies rush in one catches the knife just after it pokes me in the neck…