DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING YOU RECOGNISE. I WAS JUST MAD AT GRANTAIRE! YOU KNOW THAT SAYING, "DON'T MAKE AN AUTHOR MAD, THEY'LL PUT YOU IN A BOOK AND KILL YOU"? Yeah, it's true.
Once upon a time, there was a MAN who was always DRUNK named GRANTAIRE. He was SCRUFFY, he was UGLY. He LOVED a MAN who was always telling him to PUT THE BOTTLE DOWN. That man's name was ENJOLRAS.
One day, ENJOLRAS got tired of Grantaire's constant CYNISISM and DRUNKEN RAMBLINGS, so he STRANGLED Grantaire to DEATH and they all lived happily ever after.
Except GRANTAIRE.
He was DEAD.
THE END