A/N: So, this pretty much only got written because I've been trying to write something for a while, I've been watching a lot of Much Ado About Nothing adaptations lately, and I'm not entirely thrilled by the logistics of how Blue Bird happened (I love the results/ending of Blue Bird, don't get me wrong, but I'm not 100% happy with the path there). I've been meaning to write an alternative to the S6 finale. This is the result. It's certainly not a Much Ado About Nothing adaptation, but let's just say it borrows elements (not sure a straight up adaptation would work, for reasons that will become obvious). I also think it's worth noting that apparently some of the original dialogue has become embedded in my brain.
Anyway, it's certainly not perfect, but I'm mostly just pleased something got written down. I hope you enjoy it.
xxx
Hearsay
xxx
Teresa Lisbon found herself smiling as she made her way through the hallways of the FBI headquarters in Texas. And why shouldn't she smile? She was in a relationship with an honest-to-god good guy, and it was actually going well (if a little... fast). She had a new job she loved and to top it off, friends were visiting.
Okay, Rigsby and Van Pelt were in town to tie up some of the loose ends on the Haibach case (finalizing statements and the like), which wasn't exactly the happiest reason for a reunion, but the mess was finally put to rest. And she'd gotten to see all of her former team together again. They'd had lunch together, the five of them. It'd been nice.
Grace and Wayne were one of the things she missed most with her move to Texas. They were too far away now to drop in on for dinner or drinks or just to see the baby. Who was growing like a weed, if the photos Wayne had showed her were anything to go by.
They'd become close over the past couple of years, beyond their relationship when they'd been working together at the CBI. Lisbon had, well, she'd watched the two of them rebuild their lives from the Red John aftermath, start their own business, start a family, figure out their own relationship. She was so goddamn proud of them for all of it.
She hoped they knew that. She really did. It wasn't the sort of thing she generally said, but..
Lisbon ducked into the kitchen to fill up her coffee cup when she heard her former team round the corner, deep in conversation. Well, speak of the devil, she thought to herself as she set the coffee pot down and went to join them. But before she could step out into the hallway, something caught her attention and froze her in her tracks.
"Look, I think it's great that Lisbon's found a good guy," Grace was saying. "Obviously she deserves that. Everyone does, but her especially. And I'm sure Agent Pike is great. I'm just saying I can't help feeling a bit sorry for Jane."
"Even if it is mostly his own fault," Rigsby said lightly.
Lisbon heard the thwack of Van Pelt swatting her husband in the arm, and could picture the smile-slash-glare that no doubt accompanied it. Lisbon wondered if it would be possible to step out and join them without making it obvious that she'd accidentally overheard them. She probably shouldn't be listening to this anyway.
"I'm not saying I don't feel badly for him," Rigsby added quickly, obviously trying to keep the peace.
"I'm still not sure I buy that he's in love with Lisbon in the first place," Cho interjected.
Lisbon almost dropped her coffee mug, and took a step further into the corner, praying that for the first time in his life, Rigsby wasn't hungry. All her thoughts of not eavesdropping on this conversation were long forgotten.
After all, she could hardly make her presence known now.
And even if she could...
Why were they even talking about this? What had...? She clutched her coffee cup tighter to still the slight tremble in her fingers and turned her attention back to her former team, taking a sip of the coffee to steady herself.
Grace was busy lecturing Cho for his apparent imperceptiveness. "You really never saw it?"
"I thought they were more like brother and sister," Cho defended.
Lisbon almost choked on her coffee.
There was a brief silence.
"He came back to the U.S. to see her," Van Pelt said slowly, carefully. "You really think he couldn't have escaped the FBI if he'd really wanted to? But no, he came back and pretty much insisted Lisbon be brought to him. Not me, not you, not Wayne. I remember when I heard about it, and I can't say I was even a little bit surprised."
"Most siblings see each other at Christmas, man," Rigsby reminded him. "They don't engineer jobs that put them in daily close contact."
"And they don't gravitate towards each other when they're in the same room, the way Jane does with Lisbon," Van Pelt added. "That definitely hasn't changed over the years."
"Besides, there's the fact that he admitted it himself ten minutes ago," Rigsby added cheerfully. "You were there man. You can hardly deny it."
Lisbon felt a sudden need to brace herself against the wall behind her. He'd... he'd admitted it? To who? And why?
Because it wasn't like he'd damn well ever said anything about it to her.
The jerk.
"I believe his exact words were, yes of course I love her," Rigsby continued. "I mean, I'm not sure he meant to say them, but..."
"He only admitted it because you badgered him into it," Cho muttered. "You kept bringing up Pike, asking Jane if he had a plan."
"Doesn't make it any less true," Van Pelt replied. "And I feel badly for Jane. It sucks to realize that you might have waited too long. And now he feels like he can't say anything because she's so happy and he doesn't want to wreck that."
"He's missed his window," Rigsby said. "I know what that feels like."
"Well, on the bright side, it's Jane," Cho pointed out. "He'll probably make his own damn window."
"I hope you're right," Van Pelt murmured wistfully. "I've always thought they'd be good together, always hoped... I mean, I don't know Pike, but if she's happy..."
"Pike is a good guy," Cho confirmed. "He really is."
Van Pelt just sighed.
"Come on," Rigsby said affectionately. "Let's go and get you a pastry, so at least you can worry about our friend's lives with a full stomach."
"Food won't fix everything, Wayne," Van Pelt replied, the smile evident in her voice.
"No, but it'll sure make things better in the short term," Rigsby replied. "You coming Cho?"
"Sure, why not," Cho agreed. "But no more talking about Lisbon and Jane's love lives. I still have to work with these people."
Rigsby chuckled and clapped Cho on the back. "You got it man."
Lisbon slowly unfroze as she listened to them walk away. She couldn't... Jane had actually admitted that he'd... Possibly inadvertently, but still...
He'd said the words out loud. To Rigsby of all people (because heaven forbid he say them to her).
Had he really only not said anything because he wanted her to be happy? Lisbon wasn't sure that sounded like Jane, but then, she really didn't have a lot of experience with Jane in this context... She didn't... She'd seen Jane through a lot, but a lovelorn consultant was not... She took a deep breath. If indeed he really was in lo... But why would he have said it if he wasn't? Screwing with former colleagues? About something like this? Surely even Jane wouldn't...
God, what if it was true? Van Pelt and Rigsby seemed to think it was. Hadn't even been surprised.
And okay, even she'd wondered, just because, well...
Shaking herself, Lisbon forced herself to walk out of the kitchenette, not wanting to have to explain herself to anyone who might find her there (definitely not wanting to explain why she was just staring off into space). She roused herself out of her mental fog enough to make sure she took the opposite hallway to the one her former teammates had gone down, choosing instead to take the long way back to her desk, circling around the conference room in the centre of the floor.
Her mind a muddle, she vaguely registered Abbot and Fischer standing in the centre of that same conference room stacking files, their backs to her, deep in conversation.
Luckily (or unluckily, depending on your point of view) some of the words pierced through the haze in her brain.
"You honestly wouldn't mind if they were in a relationship," Fischer was asking incredulously. "Jane and Lisbon?"
Lisbon's quick step backwards as she attempted to find some cover to shield her from their direct line of sight would have been comical under other circumstances. Given the last ten minutes, not eavesdropping wasn't even an option this time.
"Why would I,?" Abbot asked. "He's obviously in love with her, and it's not like he follows the FBI rulebook to the letter now. Besides, with his... unique status in the organization, a relationship wouldn't technically be against protocol, not as long as Agent Lisbon wasn't his direct supervisor. If anything, I think it would make Jane easier to deal with, if he'd only just get over himself and admit how he feels."
Fischer acknowledged the logic of Abbot's reply with a wry nod of her head. "Apparently he admitted it to Rigsby earlier today."
"Who told you that?" Abbot asked, sounding far more interested in the answer than Lisbon would have liked.
"Wiley," Fischer replied with a shrug. "He overheard them talking in the bullpen and mentioned it to me. Seemed to feel guilty because he apparently told Pike there was nothing going on between the two of them, Lisbon and Jane I mean."
"Kid'll learn soon enough that things aren't always as black and white as they appear on a computer screen," Abbot murmured.
"Jane will ensure he learns that lesson if nothing else," Fischer agreed.
The two fell silent as they sorted through the files.
"He all but admitted it to me too," Abbott said after a moment. "I don't think Jane realized what he was saying, how transparent he was being where she was concerned. I knew right away. I tried to get him to pull his head out of his ass, but I may as well have tried to get water to run upstream."
"I asked Lisbon about it too, when she first joined the team" Fischer replied. "She's harder to read than he is, ironically. At least when it comes to this. She played her cards pretty close to the vest."
"They've both had reason to do that, in the past," Abbot pointed out. "Thing like that becomes habit forming, whether you mean it to or not."
"Well," Fischer said after a moment. "I can't say I blame her. Pike's a lot more..."
"Normal?" Abbot asked. "Yeah, but I'm really not looking forward to finding out what Patrick Jane is like if Lisbon does go to D.C."
"Oh god," Fischer murmured under her breath.
"Yeah," Abbot agreed.
"I suppose it's too late for me to request a transfer?" Fischer asked hopefully.
"Don't even think about it," Abbot shot back.
"Then I pray to god this works out," Fischer replied. "For all our sakes."
"You and me both," Abbot agreed, as the two of them gathered up the relevant stacks of files and (to Lisbon's relief) exited from the far door of the room.
Lisbon counted to ten before she dared to move, and then practically ran to her desk, seeking comfort in the familiarity (and praying to god that she didn't overhear a single word on her way – if she could have shut her ears, she would have).
She told herself to calm down, to think about this rationally, to...
What in the hell was wrong with everyone lately?
Honestly! Did they have nothing better to do than gossip about her and Jane and their love liv...
She cut off that train of thought. She couldn't deal with that right now. She hated when her personal life crossed into her professional one.
Yeah, that was the reason she was upset.
But seriously what in the hell was going on? What was Jane even doing?
So he had told people (maybe even multiple people) that he loved her.
Well.
Well, that didn't change anything.
It wasn't like he'd told her. Not her. Never her. Of course not. It wasn't like he'd gotten up the courage to say the words to her face.
No, he'd apparently just been moping around the FBI, not doing a damn thing that was even a little bit productive, and playing the wounded party. Garnering sympathy so she looked like the bad guy just because she'd tried to find something good, to be happy.
Asshole.
Anyway, if he'd really loved her, he'd have told her, he'd have...
If he...
Well, whatever he felt, he was Patrick Jane. He wouldn't have let something like that just slip out. Lisbon deliberately shoved a memory trying to make itself known. Good Luck Teresa. Love you.
She shook her head. Jane's control was legendary. He wouldn't have been broken by Wayne Rigsby (she loved Rigsby, she did, but honestly).
If Patrick Jane really gone around telling apparently everyone they knew that he was in love with her (and apparently he had), then he'd had a reason.
He'd... he'd had a plan.
A sudden kind of clarity washed over her.
Of course.
Of course.
Jane always had a plan.
He just didn't always tell anyone else the details.
The cold fury was almost surprising. It was kind of ironic that in the end, this would be the straw that broke the camel's back, but maybe it wasn't. Lisbon had meant it when she'd told him she had her own life. She'd meant a lot of things.
And it seemed he needed to be reminded.
It was a good thing she knew him as well as she did, because she knew exactly where he'd be right now.
It seemed they needed to have a chat.
Jane might have been too afraid to confront the issue head on, but she wasn't.
Not even a little bit.
Not anymore.
xxx
The door to his motor home banged open with what Lisbon considered a satisfying amount of noise. "Okay, what in the hell is wrong with you?"
"Hmm?" Jane looked up in surprise from his position stretched out on his cot. He sat up abruptly once he got a good look at her.
Lisbon ignored the obvious alarm on his face. Her temper certainly hadn't cooled on her way over to this, his most recent preferred parking spot. "What in the hell is wrong with you?" she asked again. "Are you completely incapable of functioning in a relationship like a human being?"
Jane opened his mouth, but couldn't come up with an answer.
Which was fine because Lisbon didn't really want one anyway. She'd had more time to think about what he'd done on her way over, and the more she'd thought, the less she'd liked it.
"I mean honestly, what is wrong with you?" she demanded again. "You pretend to be one thing, but you're really not. I mean, I guess I should know that by now, but I thought... I thought..." She swallowed, hurt rising through the fury and threatening to get the better of her, but she forced it back down. "I thought that this time... But I was wrong. And this is... even for you..."
She swallowed again, the memory of this most recent manipulation enough to keep her going, though she could hear the hurt rising in her own voice.
"And the worst part is, I really thought maybe you really were playing it straight. Maybe you were... And then I overhear, well, everyone, talking about how you're in love with me. How you've been telling Rigsby and Van Pelt and Cho and, and Abbott, our boss, all about it. All the while looking like you're really upset. You're upset! So now they're all implying that this is my fault. I mean, they're not saying that. Of course they aren't, but they're all sad for you. Like they're thinking I should somehow fix it. How would I fix it? How would I even know? I asked you. I asked you, over and over again to talk to me, to tell me what you were thinking. I've asked you so many times. I've given you a million openings to talk. And you never said anything. Ever. Not once. If you were this upset then why the hell wouldn't you just tell me? Why not tell me how you feel?You had every opportunity. You think I wouldn't have wanted to know? You think I wouldn't have cared? You jerk. I've been right here. Instead you asked me what I wanted to hear. Like that means anything at all. Maybe all I wanted to hear was the truth! And you told me that all that mattered was that I was happy. That that was all that you wanted. You said that!"
Lisbon paused for breath, trying to ignore the fact that Jane looked more than a little shell-shocked. She didn't care. She was going to get this out. For once she was going to lay it all on him.
"And then I thought, when I first overheard Rigsby and Van Pelt, maybe you were sincere. Maybe you really were being that selfless. Maybe you thought you were, I don't even know, being a good guy. So you just let me go about my life, make decisions. Not telling me anything. Keeping all the information to yourself. Like you always do. Probably thought it was for my own good, your silence. Or maybe you were protecting me. You asshole! How many times do I have to tell you, I don't need your protection! And I don't want it!"
Lisbon ignored the now obvious pain on Jane's face. "So I go about my day, while you take what I can only assume you think is the moral high ground, for what is probably the first time in your damn life. At first I thought it was almost noble. Stupid, really stupid, but maybe selfless."
"But then I realized, this is you I'm talking about. Patrick Jane. And if you told everyone we know that you're in love with me, you had a reason. It didn't just slip out in desperation. You don't do that. Your control in just about every situation is practically legendary. Which means that you had a plan, and it wasn't to get everyone's pity. Why would you want that? You wouldn't. You wanted those conversations to get back to me. You orchestrated this whole thing. You probably planned this the second you realized that I was actually thinking of going to D.C. That there was a good chance I was leaving. A damn good chance, and a better one now!"
Lisbon ignored Jane's strangled gasp. "I hadn't told you yet, but you've always read me like a book. And you realized that was the way I was leaning. But you still wanted to be able to play the supportive friend. So you got everyone else to do your dirty work. Maybe you didn't think everyone would play ball so you covered your bases. And because you hadn't told me yourself, you still had your version of the moral high ground. But you knew someone else would tell me if you told enough people. You knew that. Just like you always do."
Lisbon felt herself deflating as the fight drained out of her, leaving her feeling tired and sad. But she kept going. And to his credit, Jane hadn't interrupted her yet. "Well, the news got back to me alright. But it was too effective. So now I know you set this up, you bastard. Trying to play with my emotions without my knowing you were playing with them."
She felt tears prick at the corner of her eyes. "Seriously, do you not know how to be a normal human being? Do you even get what you just did?"
"I didn't," Jane said quietly when Lisbon paused for breathe again. "I didn't do that, Teresa"
She was about to tear into him again (she still had loads to say, maybe ten years worth), when his tone made her pause. Just long enough to get a good look at him. And she realized that he looked really, really upset. And not just upset, maybe even a little... terrified.
Jane seemed to realize he had an opening because he stood up and took a tiny step closer to her. "I didn't tell all of our friends and colleagues that I was in love with you. I swear to you I didn't," he said to her. "I'll swear it on whatever you want. On your life, on mine, on..." he trailed off, shaking his head slowly. "I've done so many stupid things over the years, especially where you're concerned, but I didn't do this."
Lisbon froze, trying to tell herself that he was lying, like he always did, except that she was suddenly certain he was telling the truth (though she couldn't have said why). Jane hadn't set this up. He probably hadn't even said he loved her. Something else was going on, something she'd fallen for, hook, line and sinker. She closed her eyes, a fresh wave of pain descending over her. Of course he hadn't said he'd loved her. She should have known, she really, really should have.
"I agree that there is a plan in play, but for once I wasn't behind it, Teresa," Jane murmured, taking another step towards her. "If I had to guess, I'd put money on Grace as the instigator. Or maybe Dennis, he's hardly been subtle in this arena."
Lisbon nodded once and turned away, embarrassment flooding through her to replace the earlier anger. Their boss had been involved? That was more than a little mortifying. "Right, well..."
She was about to make a seriously undignified retreat, when his voice stopped her. "They weren't wrong though."
She froze, still not looking at him.
"Did you really think I told Rigsby I was in love with you?" he asked. "I don't know why you think it would be easier to tell Rigsby than you. If I was going to say the words, if I was going to tell anyone it would have been... of course it would have been..." She heard Jane take a deep breath. "You're right Teresa, I should have told you. I should have told you long ago. But I didn't... I... Truthfully, what I feel, it terrifies me. More than..." His voice broke. "More than just about anything in the world. Anything except losing you."
Lisbon's head whipped around her eyes wide and her brain not quite computing any of it. Not the words he was saying, not the fact that his voice was suddenly shaking, and definitely not the expression on his face. She'd almost never seen Jane like this before. Off balance and stuttering and emotional.
"But I'm going to tell you now because you're right," this strange and inexplicable Patrick Jane was saying. "You should hear it. And you should hear it from me not from... It shouldn't have been something you overheard in the hallway. I am sorry for that, though it wasn't my doing. Although I definitely contributed to the situation where our friends felt that they had to... They're not wrong though. They're not wrong. And that's the key thing, isn't it, Teresa?" he asked. "And you're right, you deserve..."
Jane took another deep breath and clenched his hands into fists, the obvious effort rolling off him as he struggled for composure that never quite came. "I'm in love with you, Teresa. I love you."
His voice broke on the emotion and something cracked inside of her. She let out a quiet little cry, but couldn't seem to find any words. Maybe she'd spent them all earlier.
Now it was Jane they were pouring out of in a torrent, his explanation disjointed, splintering between them in bursts. "I've been in love with you for so long, and I've been terrified to admit it. Just like I've been terrified to even consider the possibility that you might leave. Like if I somehow pretended it wasn't there, that it wouldn't happen. That you would stay. Because I couldn't deal with the possibility that you might actually go. I couldn't."
"Jane..." Lisbon whispered without any clear idea of what she was going to say. But she had to say something didn't she? When he was standing there saying things like...
He shook his head, stepping closer and reaching to squeeze her hand. Just for a moment. "No, I need to, you've got to let me... You were right, when I first came back. When you said I didn't consider what you thought, and I hadn't been a part of your life for years, that I didn't have the right to just... I made the FBI offer you a job because I wanted to see you again. I wanted to see you again every day. The other demands were all for show. I'd have accepted anything Abbot suggested if it just meant I could see you. All the time, Teresa. I want to see you every day. I'll always want to see you every day. I want you to know that."
"Jane..." now Lisbon's voice was desperate, pleading.
He moved into her personal space, his hands suddenly flitting everywhere in his agitation. Over her shoulders, through the ends of her hair, down the length of her arms, across her wrists, and then back again. And Lisbon got the sudden feeling that he might not even be even aware he was doing it. Or at the very least he couldn't help it. She shut her eyes again when she felt his fingers against her cheek, brushing away a tear that had someone fallen there. And Jesus, were his hands shaking? They were. Patrick Jane was literally shaking with emotion.
How in the hell was she supposed to deal with that?
"I love you," he murmured again. And then her eyes were open again, because she didn't want to miss a second of his face when he said things like...
"And I'm telling you because you deserve to hear it. You've always deserved that. And I'll tell everyone tomorrow. I'll really tell them, if you want me to," Jane assured her, his voice still wavering all over the place.
Damn right he would tell them, Lisbon thought to herself. Though probably not tomorrow, and not for the same reason he was offering. Because like hell was she explaining this to their friends on top of everything else. But she'd worry about that part of it later. This was more important now. This was... everything.
"I don't want you to leave," Jane added softly in a tone that nearly broke her heart. Or it would have, could have...
Except that...
Lisbon's breath caught. "You can't just..." But she wasn't sure how she'd been intending to finish that sentence. Because oh god. He loved her. Patrick Jane was standing in front of her telling her that he loved her. Over and over again.
And now he was saying something else. "I'm not sorry I told you. I'm never going to be sorry about that. Though I expect I would have been if I'd let you leave without saying it. And I'm not sorry that Rigsby and Van Pelt and everyone else came up with their plan, even if I am sorry it upset you. I know this complicates things. I know you're happy with Pike. And I know I can't ask you to stay..."
She blinked. How in the hell had he come to that conclusion? "What?"
"I know I made assumptions before, so I was trying to do it better, to show you that your opinion mattered, to let you make your own decisions..." Jane explained.
Lisbon's eyes narrowed, familiar annoyance (and maybe even a little anger) making themselves known again as she remembered just exactly what had gotten them into this mess in the first place. "And how would I make those decisions without all the information?"
Jane ducked his head and dropped his hands from her body (and Lisbon tried not to feel even more annoyed about that on top of everything). "You're right, I don't know how to have a relationship, and I manipulate people, and..."
"And you're damn lucky I feel the same way about you," Lisbon interrupted before he could say anything else to annoy her.
Jane just stared at her. Then he was even further inside her personal space. For a minute he just stared at her, his eyes searching hers. She smiled slightly, because damn if this didn't feel right after weeks of uncertainty. She saw an answering hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth. And then her eyes were fluttering closed as she felt his lips brush hers. Gently, like he thought she might disappear.
And when he broke away, Lisbon was smiling, really smiling, and biting her lip a little. Then she was kissing him again. Because she wanted him to be sure she was real. And because she wanted to run her fingers through his hair. And because...
She groaned as Jane's arm tightened around her waist and pulled her against him. And when she broke for breath, his lips were brushing against her face, the way his fingers had been against her shoulders earlier, light and fluttering and everywhere. And then his hands were moving again. Though it wasn't what she'd imagined, Lisbon found she liked the way he touched her: constantly, but feather-light. Like he couldn't quite believe she was real, like he thought she might disappear in a puff of smoke if he tried to make her more solid. She smiled as his hand whisked along her back from waist to shoulder.
Lisbon pressed her grin against his neck and wrapped her arms around his waist, tight and sure. Determined to hold on until he acknowledged that she was real, her reward realized when his arms tightened around her shoulders and he buried his nose in her hair. She would have hated to lose this. She wasn't losing this.
She felt more than heard his exhale of relief.
"Say it again," Lisbon whispered near his ear.
Jane pulled back slightly, his face the picture of innocence, like he had no idea what she was talking about, and god help her she wanted to smack (and then kiss) him.
And then she was stuck half-biting her lip and trying not to laugh while simultaneously trying to look stern, because damn it for once in their goddamned relationship she had the upper hand, and they both knew it.
But then Jane was kissing her again, surer this time, and Lisbon was pretty sure containing her smile was a lost cause, particularly when she heard "I love you" exhaled against her lips in the break for breath before his mouth was back on hers.
He loved her.
Damn right he did.
And, Lisbon decided as she tangled her hands back in his hair, she was going to make sure Patrick Jane damn well told her so. As many times as she wanted to hear it.
Let that show him. They'd need to talk more later, but right now...
She felt Jane's hand slide around her neck holding her in place, sighing as his fingers stroked against her skin.
Certain of the rightness of it, Lisbon threw herself into an ever-more-confident kiss, sealing her decision with each brush of her lips.
She'd make him say it every damn day she decided, whimpering when his tongue traced hers.
As penances went, it seemed appropriate.
xxx
The end