Day 2: Cohabitation
This is one ordinary cohabitation story. I warn you, if you don't like ordinary, you may go.
I do not own Gintama.
...
He heard a loud thud and he prayed that it was just their dog falling from his slumber sleep on the couch but then he remembered, Sadaharu don't sleep on their couch because he's too big of white fluff and he has his own carpet that his owner gave to him for his 3rd birthday.
Shimura Shinpachi bit his lower lip and closed his eyes, he just finished the draft for Ketsuno Ana's next episode on Idol Life and he badly needs to sleep.
"You asshole!" And he prayed to Kami-sama that the policeman was too tired to bicker with her. This is the time that he hopes a big accident had happened and Okita Sougo was in charge of it, or Yamazaki failed to get his work done so he work his ass off today and now he's tired and just wants to sleep. These are the times; he just wants Sougo to understand her girlfriend, maybe just for once.
"Shut up. I'm trying to sleep here, China." Shinpachi gleed. Based on his analytics, the voice he heard is a tired police officer's voice. Yup, he can sleep. No, wait.
He heard her heavy footsteps, the real challenge has just began. He thought, of course her girlfriend would not give up without a fight. Another prayer to above, that her stepsister would prefer sleep than fight with his boyfriend.
He heard a loud thud, louder than the first one. The above hadn't hear his plea. He turn to his only weapon, the headphone. He'd prefer listening to Ketsuno Ana than lend his ears to their loud voices.
"I was sleeping here! Sleep on the couch, you bastard!"
"I'm tired working my ass off to buy your crappy things and you kicked me out of my bed!"
"It's Monday today, stupid. It's my bed."
"I'm gonna throw you out, you monster pig."
'Shit. Shit. Where's my headphones?' Shinpachi panicked for a bit, he knows where this is going and he don't like the thought at all. Never.
If he hears them, he's dead due to lack of sleep. If he protest, he's probably dead too.
The two continued to bicker, he heard someone tried to knock and told them to quiet down but they just shook him with a signature 'Fuck off' shout. Another tried to threaten them by calling the police, and Sougo replied with a snort.
"These two need to live in a sound-proof apartment." He sighed, regretting why he chose to live beside their unit. Thinking the main reason why, if he was too protective of her stepsister or Gintoki was the protective one.
"Pachi-boy, if ever you hear them do y-you k-know, t—things… Call me and I'm going to omega kick that bastard's balls who dirtied my daughter—I'm gonna kill him!" He face palmed at Gintoki's statements, even if he called him when they start doing their nightly activities, he's too far away to reach at the exact time so it's useless. Plus, Shinpachi get almost killed every time he tells Gintoki. So everything's a no-no.
"Hah! You're too much of a weakling to have me, stupid!"
"Are you fucking challenging me, huh? I can ravage you right here, right now and you're gonna beg for more."
"Bring it—hmpf!"
Shinpachi's eyes turned black as bullet sweats dropped, "These two."
…
Author's note: Told 'ya.