TITLE: All My Life

PART: 1/1

PARING: KoshSen

GENRE: Yaoi

WARNING: OOC-ness, angst/death

DISCLAIMER: SD's babelicious boys are not mine. *sigh*

A/N: Happy KoshSen day!!! This is my gift to the happy couple.. ahehe.. Even if it is a deathfic.. ^^;;; I dedicate this fic to my Kooky family, namely, Yen-nee, Charon-nee, Nicky-nii, Ryouga-nii, Freb-nee, Afuna-nee, Keax-chan, Nal-chan, Taiyou-chan, Mayumi-chan, Jun-kun and Juno-chan, to my mikos, Aoi-sama and Hana-sama, to my fellow RuHanaRu and AkaMitko no Seishis, to my Ko-seme no Seishis and especially to the KoshSen no Miko, Akira14-sama and to my fellow KoshSen no Seishis. Hope y'all like this! ^_^

// I will never find another lover

Bigger than you, sweeter than you.

And I will never find another lover

More precious than you, more precious than you.

(Boy) You're close to me like my mother

Close to me like my father

Close to me like my sister

Close to me like my brother.

And you are my only one, my everything.

And for you, this song I sing. //

Koshino Hiroaki walked alone during a sunny afternoon. The birds were chirping, kids laughing happily, couples having a good time. But this merry background, Koshino didn't notice. His head hung low, his hair covering his beautiful face full of anguish.

He wandered around town aimlessly, engrossed deep in his thoughts.

*Why? What happened? Why did you leave me? You were my best friend! I lean on you whenever I have problems. You were always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on.* Koshino though sadly.

// All my life…

I prayed for someone like you.

And I thank God.

That I finally found you.

For all my life

I prayed for someone like you.

And I hope that you feel the same way, too.

Yes, I pray that you still love me too. //

Koshino brushed away his tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. Suddenly, his sadness turned to anger as he reminisced what happened about a year ago.

~FLASHBACK~

It was graduation day. He had gotten up the courage to tell Sendoh what he felt. He walked up to him when suddenly, Sendoh, himself turned around and their eyes met.

Without another word, they jumped into each other's arms, kissing fervently.

"I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I've always been in love with you," Koshino whispered as they broke apart.

Sendoh's eyes filled with tears as he heard these words.

"Hiro-kun… I… I didn't know that yuou felt that way, too," Sendoh stammered.

"Sshhh…" Koshino said, putting his finger on Sendoh's soft lips.

Sendoh smiled and Koshino thought that everything would be alright.

Boy, was he wrong.

After a few months in their relationship, Sendoh, who is usually very cheerful and energetic began to show some signs of weakness. Whenever they have a game of basketball, he faints in the middle of the game. But Sendoh just said that he's just tired and Koshino shouldn't be worried. He always gets up with a bright smile, hiding what he truly felt from Koshino.

Another time, Koshino was awoken in the middle of the night. He could hear Sendoh vomiting in the bathroom. When he confronted Sendoh about this, he just shrugged it off and said that he just had too much too eat.

One day, Koshino just came home from a job interview. He called out to his koi on their apartment, knowing that Sendoh would be home. No one answered. Then, koshino entered their room and found Sendoh. Lying on their bed, motionless. Not breathing.

Koshino could not bring himself to believe it. He ran on Sendoh's side and shook him, telling him to wake up. But to no avail. He sobbed on Sendoh's side, burying his face on his lover's arm, thinking that this is only a dream and he would wake up any second. When he looked at Sendoh again, he found a piece of paper clutched on his hand. With trembling fingers, Koshino took the note and started to read.

Hiro-kun,

If you're reading this note, I guess I'm not with you anymore. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for not telling you that I'm sick and have only a short time to live. I'm sorry I had to leave you.

I want you to know that I love you. With all my heart. Nothing could ever change that.

Sendoh Akira

~END OF FLASHBACK~

*Dammit! Why did you leave me? After all we've been through! I hate you!*

Koshino wanted to cry, to bang his head on a wall, to throw sharp objects. Anything. Anything to keep his mind off his lover. But then, he realized that he wasn't angry at Sendoh. He was angry at himself.

*I should have seen the signs! Argh! I'm to blame. Maybe, if I noticed his failing health, he would still be here with me!* Koshino thought angrily.

// Then I promise to never fall in love with a stranger.

You're all I'm thinking of.

I praise the Lord above.

By sending me a love

I'll cherish every thought.

I really love you.

You're all that I ever love

Your smile, your face, so exceeds of love.

You turned my life around.

You picked me up when I was down. //

Koshino looked up to the blue sky as he walked.

*I hope you're happy there, Sendoh. I know that you know, that I still love you. And now, I'm gonna join you. Don't worry. We'll be together soon.* he whispered.

His eyes shifted as a car was fast approaching. Suddenly, he jumped in front of the car's way. Tires screeched and the people around screamed in horror.

"Somebody call a doctor!" a woman yelled.

Koshino opened his eyes as pain shot all over his body. He squinted as the bright sun glared down on him. Koshino touched his throbbing head and he saw that it was covered with blood.

But then, Koshino smiled.

"I'm coming, Sendoh."

He felt his life slowly slipping away. His breath began to be ragged and his vision getting blurred. His life flashing right before his eyes.

"Forever," Koshino whispered before breathing his last.

++ OwArI ++

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Waaah!!! My first death fic! T_T Anyway, thanks to Mayumi! Without you, I wouldn't be able to write this fic! *huggles*