Splatoon is a copyright of Nintendo, and I don't own it. My usage of these characters theoretically falls under fair use, though if the day comes Nintendo takes me to court over this, it would be equally amazing and terrifying.

I really don't think this disclaimer is necessary, but everyone else is doing it. I think I'm part of the problem.

Cobalt's eyes were glued to the screen. The train's loud clattering noises were far less important to him than the pixelated squid jumping from platform to platform. After losing his last life on level 24, he angrily stuffed the SDS back into his pocket. Casually looking between the rows of passengers, he noticed a girl that had sunken into her seat. After a brief moment of hesitation, Cobalt got up and went over to her.

"Hey," he said, quietly, "did… it hurt when angels fell… into your… eyes?" He cursed himself for messing up and then slowly looked at the girl to see her reaction. Luckily, it seems she didn't hear him. Cobalt breathed a sigh of relief and tried again. "What's troubling you?"

"I don't know," she mumbled. "Do you ever wonder what the point of all this is? All this… killing for sport?"

Cobalt chuckled. "So it's your first time, huh?" The girl looked at him, surprised. "I know because everyone always gets cold feet when they start their first few games," he continued. "I bet they showed you that stupid 'Importance of Safety in Turf Wars' video, huh?"

She slowly nodded. The images of those mangled Inkling bodies as a result of using equipment improperly haunted her constantly.

"Well, those clips are all from, like, thirty years ago. Turf Wars has really gotten a lot safer since, I promise. You remember that one clip, with the green Inkling that… yeah, they remodeled the Inkstrikes. They don't open like that anymore, so her tentacle would've never gotten caught in there. But I don't blame you for being scared, I think that part even terrified the teacher." Cobalt grinned.

"So… it's completely safe now?"

"Totally. And all those seniors saying that getting splatted is really painful are just trying to show off. Hey, if you want, we could do Turf Wars together – we just say we're friends and they let us join the same team. I've played a bunch of rounds before, and I could give you some pointers and help you out. How does that sound?"

"I'd love to."

"Great! I don't think I introduced myself, by the way. My name's Cobalt."

"I'm Lina," she said, shaking his hand.

"Pleased to meet you, Lina," Cobalt replied as he sat down next to her. "Now just try to relax until we get to Booyah Base. Everything's going to be fine."

For the first time in days, Lina smiled.

For the first time in several months, Lina screamed.

Blue ink slowly dripped from her tentacles and Cobalt's. The ground behind the tiny wall they were hiding behind was also a comforting shade of blue. Everything else around them, however, was a painfully vibrant orange. Lina gripped her Splattershot Jr. and curled up into the fetal position.

"It's alright!" yelled Cobalt, holding onto his Splatterscope. "I'll go ahead and take out all the orange Inklings around. It looks like there's two of them, give me one second…"

Lina heard two sudden shots, and then saw her friend slink back down into hiding. She perked back up. "Did you get them?"

"Well… those were actually teammates," he chuckled nervously. Lina went back into the fetal position. "But it doesn't even make any sense," Cobalt continued. "Our teammates are the same color as us, how could I have… ohh, I grabbed the wrong color ink by accident! Ha-ha, classic mistake. Hey Lina, are you alright?"

Lina started quivering.

"Oh no, don't get scared. We're actually doing pretty well." Lina glanced at him skeptically. "Really, we are! Staying alive and finding a good hiding spot actually means we're helping out our team-"

"Cobalt, you and I both know that the only reason we're still alive is that the other team doesn't think splatting us is worth the ink."

"Well, at least let me stay in denial."

Lina sighed and grabbed a strange pyramid item Cobalt was holding. "What's this?"

"Oh, that's a Splat Bomb. As soon as it touches the ground, it starts a countdown. At the end of it, it'll explode, covering the nearby area and anyone near it in ink. Though, it's not much use to us now given that I grabbed the wrong color of…" Cobalt looked down and saw a petrified Lina staring directly at the bomb she took, which was now shaking on the ground.

"I… I'm sorry, I didn't thin-" Lina's voice was drowned out by a deafening explosion, covering the last remaining blue spots.

Cobalt and Lina climbed out of the spawn point, where the rest of their teammates were waiting; a boy and a girl.

"So they got you too, huh?" asked the girl, playfully spinning her roller around with her finger.

"I guess you could say that," replied Cobalt. "What's the score?"

"3,400 – 0."

"That… isn't possible, there aren't even that many points you can get. Besides, we still have our spawn point."

"No," answered the boy, "everything is orange."

Cobalt looked down. Sure enough, the spawn point was bright orange. Confused, he looked off the platform overlooking the sea. The ocean's waves were orange, too. "Wow. I'm… actually more impressed than I am frustrated."

"Isn't there anything we can do?" Lina asked, still recovering from being pieced back together.

"Hey, she's right!" yelled the boy. He shot a few volleys of blue ink into the air, which landed and formed blue puddles on the ground. "There, at least we didn't lose completely." Suddenly, the sound of launching rockets filled the air. The team watched futilely as four consecutive Inkstrikes gushed orange ink over the tiny blue puddles. If anything, the ground was an even brighter shade of orange than before. "Well," sighed the boy, his eagerness crushed, "at least it'll be over soon."

5 seconds left on the clock. Lina felt like she had to do something, but what? Her Splattershot Jr. wasn't going to be helpful. Suddenly, an idea hit her – she grabbed her Splat Bomb and threw it just as the game-ending bell sounded. It exploded, leaving behind a small trace of blue ink. Lina and Cobalt couldn't figure out why their teammates had their mouths open.

"The score," Judd typed onto the big display, "is an almost purrfect 3,399 – 1." Immediately, their teammates burst into cheering. They carried Lina and ran off, chanting her name, making Cobalt have to run to catch up.

"I don't get it!" yelled Lina. "We still lost!"

"Yeah," said the girl. "But we've gotten zero points in all the other games we've played today, too! This time, we lose by two less!"

The orange team was confused. "It's strange," said the sniper on the team. "We won, yet this victory feels hollow. And yet the losers are happy. Why is that?"

After some deliberation, they decided it was because the blue team was a bunch of idiots.

After saying goodbye to their newfound friends and ensuring that they'll never play a match with them again, Lina and Cobalt found themselves sitting at a bench in the plaza.

"Hey," said Lina, "thanks a ton for helping me out. It really means a lot."

"N-no problem," replied Cobalt, sheepishly. Lina jumped off the bench and started tugging on his arm.

"Come on, let's play again! This was fun!"

"Are… you sure?"

"Yeah, totally! Getting splatted and all didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it would!"

"Well, you don't really get hurt. You just start feeling really sore whenever you turn back into squid form until you get used to it."

Lina tried turning into a squid when a wave of pain struck her body. Holding back tears, she frantically climbed back onto the bench and turned back to normal.

Cobalt had to keep himself from laughing. "You know what, MVP? I think we've played enough for today. Why don't we just go shopping for the rest of the day and we can do Turf Wars again tomorrow?"

Eyes wide open, Lina nodded.