A/N: I felt like doing something a little more angsty and this is what I came up with! It was supposed to be based on the song 'Bittersweet' by Within Temptation, as it was inspired by that song, but I kinda lost the theme somewhere along the way.. So its inspired by, but not based on it XD. ALSO this is my first time writing ANYTHING intimate, so be easy on me. WELL I hope you enjoy this.
Bittersweet
Orihime lay silently in her bed, thinking back on the events that had recently passed. It was after the winter war and Aizen had been defeated. It seemed like so long ago that Ulquiorra had turned to dust in front of her eyes.
She quickly wiped a stray tear from her eyes as she continued to think back on her time with him. He was blunt and emotionless, but somewhere along the way she had fallen in love with him and his need to know more about the heart. She knew that somewhere in him there was a heart waiting to be discovered, and it killed her to know that he had died before finding it.
She couldn't help but think back on how things could have been if she had actually told him of her feelings. She smiled sadly, imagining his reaction to her professing her love to him.
She sat on her couch, waiting patiently for her captor to return with her afternoon meal. Today was the day, she decided. Today she was going to finally tell Ulquiorra how she felt. She knew she was probably saying it in vain, but she could no longer keep her feelings to herself. She heard an abrupt knock on the door as it opened with a creek.
There he was, as beautiful as always. She stared at him as he wheeled the cart carrying her tray of food into the dark room.
"Dinner, woman." He said in his monotonous voice that she loved so much. She nodded silently and walked to the tray, lifting the lid to reveal her lunch. It was nothing special, as always. Though she couldn't help but notice a small amount of bean paste and wasabi on the side that normally wasn't there. Did he put it there for her? She wondered.
She looked at him questioningly but he just stared ahead. Smiling, she smeared the strange combination on her chicken sandwich, taking a generous bite and humming in satisfaction at the flavour. As she took a few more bites, she got more and more nervous about telling him her feelings. Would he hate her even more than he already did? Maybe he would even ask for someone else to watch over her. She places the sandwich down as a small frown finds its way to her face.
"What is wrong, woman?" Ulquiorra asked, glancing in her direction. She shook her head sadly.
"It's nothing, Ulquiorra-san. " She said, and went back to eating her lunch, which had somehow lost the exotic flavour it had had a few moments ago.
"Do not lie to me. It is important to Aizen-samas plan that your emotional and mental wellbeing stay intact." She sighed at his remark. It was always about Aizen, he didn't really care about how she was feeling. Finishing her sandwich, she turned to him with a sad smile on her face.
"Really, Ulquiorra-san, it's nothing." He still didn't believe her.
"Would you rather discuss your problems with Aizen-sama?" he said, and she couldn't tell if he was being generous or trying to scare her into telling him. If it was the latter, his plan was working. She blushed and looked down, playing with her hands in a nervous gesture. She could tell he was getting impatient.
"I-It's just.. I.. Well, you see..." She sighed in defeat. She knew this was going to ruin what little of a relationship she had with him, but she couldn't help but wonder what would happen if her feelings were reciprocated. She looked up into his eyes with a newfound determination. "I am in love with you, Ulquiorra-san."
His eyes widened a fraction before returning to their normal emotionless state.
"That is ridiculous. If you do not wish to tell me the truth, I will get Aizen-sama." He turned to leave and a sudden feeling of hopelessness filled her body.
"Wait!" She yelled, grabbing his sleeve. He turned to see if she was actually going to tell her the truth, only to have her lips crash upon his. His eyes widened in surprise and he grabbed her arms, fully intent on pushing her off, when he felt her warm tongue slide along his lips asking for entrance. Curiosity filled his body as he wondered if this was one of those 'french kisses' he had heard Nnoitra talking about. Feeling like this may be important to his quest to learn more about the heart, he slowly parted his lips.
She smiled against his him and her tongue plunged into his hot cavern with a sudden ferocity she had never felt before. He was responding! She almost couldn't control herself as she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, and tangled her hands in his black locks. She felt him slowly place his arms on her hips, and she pushed herself as close to him as she could.
Her tongue rubbed his ferociously, urging him to respond more. She felt a tingling sensation in her very core as his tongue began moving against her own. Their hands began caressing each other with an emotion she never knew Ulquiorra had.
After a few minutes they parted, a small strand of saliva trailing between their mouths. Orihimes eyes were half lidded and filled with lust as she looked at Ulquiorras slightly shocked emerald orbs. They stayed like that for a couple of moments, just staring at each other before Ulquiorra gently pushed her away.
"So that was a kiss?" he asked to nobody in particular.
"I am in love with you, Ulquiorra-san. I wasn't lying to you." This brought his attention to her. He stared into her eyes before turning to leave.
"I understand. When I return with your dinner you will continue teaching me about the heart." He said, closing the door, leaving behind promises of what was still to come. She smiled and sat on her couch, clutching her chest and anticipating what may happen when he returned.
Orihime smiled sadly and let out a small sob. The thought of him returning her feelings was too much for her to bear. Pulling her knees to her chest, she buried her face in her legs, feeling her tears soak her pyjama pants.
She continued her pathetic fantasy, thinking of what would happen when he returned with her dinner, wanting to learn more about the heart she was clearly laying out for him on a silver platter. She knew it was sick to think things like this about a dead man, but she couldn't help herself.
They were sitting on the couch, Orihime straddling Ulquiorras waist. Lips moulded together, their hands roamed each other's bodies in a fit of passion.
He separated his lips from hers to place chaste kisses along her jaw, and then downward until he reached the bottom of her neck. She moaned lightly as he licked her neck, sucking gently. He nipped at her sensitive skin and she let out a small giggle. Moving from her neck to look at her face, he asked calmly, "Is something funny, woman?" She sighed; irritated at the interruption even though she thought it was cute that he was being self-conscious.
"No, Ulquiorra-san, it just tickled is all." He nodded and she grabbed his hair pulling him down to her level, placing a sweet kiss on his lips.
He tasted like jasmine tea.
She had never liked jasmine tea, but he managed to make it taste delicious, which didn't surprise her.
He pushed her onto the couch so that she was lying underneath of him and unzipped her dress carefully. Kissing her clavicle, he reached behind her to unclasp her bra, revealing her chest. He tossed the garment away and placed his hand on her now exposed left breast, rubbing gently. Leaving trail of small kisses leading downwards, he finally stopped at her right breast. He sucked firmly on her hardened nipple, earning a sharp gasp from her.
"A-ah.. U-Ulquiorra," she moaned, gripping the back of his neck to keep him in place.
"Woman..." She heard him mumble, "Let go of my neck, you are suffocating me with your breasts."
"Ah! Sorry, Ulquiorra-san!" she said, frantically waving her arms. He grabbed her arms and placed them above her head with one strong hand before leaning down for a passionate kiss.
Parting from the kiss, he brought his free hand up to her mouth, placing his index and ring finger on her lips.
"Suck," he ordered. Her eyes widened a fraction before slowly taking the digits into her mouth, allowing her tongue to run along them gently. He pulled them out abruptly, a string of saliva trailing between his fingers and her lips. He moved his hand down her stomach, resting at her underwear, before finally going inside—
She couldn't do this anymore. This sick fantasy was just making the situation worse. She curled into the fetal position, allowing sobs to wrack her body. She cried out loud, no doubt making her neighbours worry, but she didn't care; she was in far too much pain. Thinking back on all of her time in Hueco Mundo, she didn't have one happy memory other than when she got to see his emotionless face. The face that she would never see again.
Bringing her hands to her cheeks, she sobbed relentlessly into her fingers.
"Why? Why didn't I help you? Oh, Ulquiorra, I'm so sorry!" she cried, shaking violently. He was right there, she could have easily healed him, but she was still caught up in the fairy tale that she was in love with Ichigo. She had been selfish, and ended up letting her loves life slip away in right front of her very eyes.
Suddenly her tears stopped, and she knew what she had to do. It all made sense now! It was her fault he had died, what right did she have to keep on living?
She went to the kitchen and opened her cutlery drawer, all emotion drained from her dampened face. Reaching into the drawer, she pulled out the sharpest knife she owned. Walking animatedly to her bedroom, she slid to the floor beside her bed.
Slowly she raised the knife to the soft skin of her wrist and pushed downwards, sliding it across her pale flesh. Letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding, she repeated the process again and again, blood pooling on the floor and staining her nightgown. Stray tears began flowing down her cheeks.
'This is the right thing to do, Orihime, you know it is. He lost his life because of your selfishness, now it's your turn,' she thought as she dropped the knife, no longer able to hold it. She fell to the floor, blood soaking her orange locks.
Her vision was slowly fading, and she smiled sadly.
"I'm sorry, Ulquiorra. I love you so much," were her last thoughts before her world faded to black.
The End! Might make a sequel, but who knows : ) Hope you enjoyed it. Review and give me juicy lime tips!