Life is about pleasure, Tyler said; there are two types of pleasure, psychological and physical. One is just as important as the other. He said I can either get physical pleasure from someone else's body, or from my own. Since I had Marla I figured I was covered. But, no, apparently I don't allow myself to get enough pleasure out of fucking her. So I have to resort to my own body as well. At least that's what Tyler says. Why I trust Tyler on this I have no idea, but for some reason I always take his word on everything. I've always resented how impressionable I was when it came to him. I am Jack's reluctant acceptance, his wavering resistance.
I guess, now that I think of it, I never was satisfied with Marla; she was just there for me to fuck, an object, a daily activity for me to do. It was Tyler who truly satisfied me; he knew my deepest desires, he knew me better than I knew myself, and I hated him for that. But I also loved him for it. Me, well, I just hated myself, period. But maybe, through having some admiration for Tyler, I could learn to accept myself. He gave me so much, stuff that should have made me happy, but it seems only he got the expected pleasure out of it. Maybe that was how it was supposed to be, we'd split the pleasure, he gets the psychological, and I get the physical. It's only fair when two people share a body.
Here I am, sitting on the foot of my bed, thinking this over. I know a part of me will always despise Tyler, but I also know he's not going anywhere, ever; that's why you're supposed to embrace things. So that's what I'm going to do, I'm going to embrace Tyler.
Closing my eyes I sit in the internal darkness it creates, telling myself that when I open them Tyler will be there. I take a deep breath in and slowly let it out before finally opening them; and there he is, standing right in front of me, Tyler Durden, his eyes boring into mine and his lips wearing a sick smirk. A shiver runs down my spine.
"As they all say, better late than never," he says obnoxiously as he moves closer. Once he's too close for comfort he kneels down, "I knew you'd come around eventually."
I look down at him, his line of sight just a bit lower than mine, "I always give in your ways Tyler; I have no choice."
He makes a mock sound of disappointment that grinds on my nerves, "Oh, come on Jack, there's always a choice."
I roll my eyes, "That is so cliché, which is definitely something you're not."
He chuckles as he places a hand on my knee, "But, sarcastic, now… I am that." His smirk grows as he teasingly runs the hand up my thigh, "Am I not?"
I take a shuddering breath in as I feel the hand moving ever so gently across my clothed skin, my eyes flutter. I didn't expect his touch to be so… feather like. "You're also a tease, apparently," I breathe out.
He snickers at that, which honestly makes me want to punch him, but at the same time it sends a flutter of anticipation through me, wanting to see what he'd do next, "This is nothing Jackie boy." His hand reaches the top of my inner thigh, resting just beside my confined member, and he gives a firm squeeze which makes me gasp and shift my body. Now I can feel the erection coming, waves of heat flowing through my abdomen, and it's more than uncomfortable.
"Jesus…" I groan, just wanting him to get on with it.
He grins, watching my chest heave, as he runs his hand slowly back down to my knee. Now he places his other hand on my other knee, spreading my legs and scooting a bit more between them. He licks his lips before sliding his hands roughly up the top of my legs until he reaches my hips, massaging them. "Just relax and enjoy it," he whispers.
I can't relax, my body is shaking, and the pressure has grown into an unbearable pulse, reverberating throughout my groin. I can feel my erection pressing hard against the fabric, everything feeling way too tight, it's suffocating me. I bite my lip as I feel his fingers curl into the waistband of my pants and ever so slowly move his hands to the front of them, his knuckles ticking my stomach and making me shiver. He pauses for a moment before undoing the button. It relieves the pressure a bit, but not nearly enough. I get harder from the excitement of my pants now being open. I look down at Tyler with my eyes glazed over and my lips parted, waiting for him to continue. It's now that I realize, deep down, that I've always wanted this; I really have. No one other than Tyler could make me feel like this, the suspense, the uncertainty, the confusion, the tension, the primal arousal; it's exhilarating.
He looks back up at me with a fiery gaze as he moves one of his hands to lightly slide over my pulsating, barely free, erection, his fingertips grazing the tip through the exposed part of my underwear. I inhale sharply, hissing, and jerk my hips forward unwillingly, "Ugh, god…" He's driving me crazy, I can't believe how worked up I am, how unbearably aroused I am. Finally he's opening my pants more, and I'm shaking, quaking like a damn harlot who's been low on business. I almost can't stand it.
"You ready for the real fun to begin?" he asks as he shimmies my pants down a bit. I can tell he's amused, oh so fucking amused, and it grates on me, but just like everything else it turns me on even more. He knows me, he knows me so well. I hold my breath as he now goes for my underwear, pulling them down as well. My cock is now completely free and, still to my surprise, insanely hard. I groan in anticipation, wanting him to touch me, but all he does is run his hands up and down my thighs. Fucking tease, "Tyler…" I'm getting impatient and he snickers again.
"Lay back," he commands. And I do so. Now on my back I can feel one of his hands inching to the base of my cock and I shiver. Soon his fingers are curling around it and my body spasms, an instant jolt of pleasure rushing through me. Oh my god. I don't say it but I can tell he knows what I'm thinking, I can see his grin even though I'm not looking at him.
His fingers are rough but it adds to the sensation of being touched so intimately. With his fingers wrapped around me he gives my cock a firm squeeze and I breathe in a hiss, my hips bucking up just slightly. Then he begins to stroke, his grip tight and his motions deliberate. I can't fucking believe this; never have I been so on edge like this, so worked up. Tyler is literally blowing my mind. I can keep myself from letting out soft moans as he works me to the point where my cock is throbbing in the palm of his hand. I need release; I need it more than anything at the moment. His motions get quicker, and even a little harsher, and it's the best fucking feeling ever. I'm so close. "Fuck…" I purposely thrust myself into his hand, heat waves flooding through me. "Fuck, Tyler… shit…" So close now. He strokes me even faster, my head is spinning; everything's hazy.
My chest tightens and my stomach clenches and suddenly I feel deaf, the only sound I hear is my heavy panting as my body begins to convulse. My body is useless, all my limps feel weak and my muscles are constricting. This is the biggest build up to an orgasm I've ever felt, and it's all thanks to Tyler. Finally I feel one more shooting jolt of pleasure and I release, I climax as he continues to stroke. He works me until every last drop is out, until every last jolt goes through me, until my body stops jerking completely.
As I lay on the bed I think, I am Jack's total elation.