There are only a handful of instances where Ryoga has seen Tsukumo Yuma cry. Crying in front of others is a rare occurrence: In most cases, the act of crying in front of friends signals a deep bond of trust and comfort. It is a sign that you're comfortable enough to reveal a more vulnerable side of yourself—- Not necessarily a weakness. Ryoga thought it was quite discouraging to think in that matter.
Though, he supposed, he was one to talk. He rarely shed tears in front of others—- even in front of his own sister. For the longest time, Ryoga thought nothing of it. Others called him "cold" or "heartless"—- He remained nonchalant, ignoring such invalid accusations. He'd still call them outlandish, except for one thing:
They weren't wrong about being heartless, in quite the literal sense so to speak.
At first, Ryoga didn't believe it. A Barian, of all things—-! The group of nonhumans he wanted to destroy so badly, after all they've done to Rio and Yuma, and yet… As he stares down at his long-nailed digits, Ryoga— No, Nasch, he can't help but feel a sense of sickness within him. Not a physical ailment, but rather a sense of spiritual connection. Even if he couldn't believe, there was a very small percentage of acceptance that dwelled in his mind—- and it disgusted him to no end.
Except this wasn't about him. It was about the one person who'd suffered the most at the hands of this group, and more. It had been weeks since Astral disappeared. While Yuma had gained a quiet sense of hope and optimism during their search, that heartbreaking expression displayed still managed to show itself, though in the most obscure ways. It was difficult for anyone to notice. Nasch, though… He could tell, but as he spoke, an unsettling realization settled in:
There wasn't much he could do. He was on the opposing side of Astral, and in a sense, Yuma, so he assumed. Of course, the normally cheery boy probably wouldn't think such a thing—-
"Shark! Let's duel!" or "Shark! Let's go eat lunch with everyone!"
If he had a mouth, Nasch would smile fondly at those memories. The time he spent with Yuma was a great treasure, a value in which he sometimes wonder if he actually ever deserved. Despite the fondness he had for the boy, the harshness of the situation was hard to swallow. There's no turning back.
"Shark…" Yuma mumbles, very quietly that it's barely above a whisper. There are still tears rolling down his cheeks, but he's quieted down for the time being. He's kneeling, Nasch notes. Another vulnerability.
"Nasch," He corrects, though his tone is rather forced and unwilling. "I'm… not Kamishiro Ryoga."
Yuma shakes his head. "Even if you're a Barian…" He's shaking a bit now, too. "You're still Shark… You're stillRyoga."
Nasch finds it difficult to respond to that. Sometimes he considered Yuma's attitude disgustingly hopeful, and yet, that was just one of the traits that he admired so much. "Yuma…"
"Even if you're a Barian, you'll stay… You'll stay and help look for Astral, right?" He finally looks up, but this time, his eyes aren't filled with hope—- They're filled with desperation.
Nasch remains silent. That's a question he was certainly expecting, but definitely not prepared to answer. It had to be a truthful, honest response… And Nasch knew that was something he couldn't provide. He kneels down to Yuma's level, maintaining a comfortable distance between them.
"That is…" He feels increasingly guilty as he speaks. "Something I'm unsure about currently." It's hard to express emotion as a Barian, Nasch notes. It's disgusting, but he knows he has to get used to it.
Yuma looks confused. "Why though? It doesn't matter if—-"
"Yuma,"He interjects, facing the boy with what he considers a honest look. "There is so much I want to tell you, but…" He glances down at his chest. It's so surreal, abnormal to look at, but it's a part of him. That gem that lays atop his chest is what his species considers a "heart." It just doesn't feel like one.
"That would require speaking from the heart." His tone falls quiet. "Seeing the way I am now… It seems I am lacking one. And that would not be fair to you."
As he watched more tears roll down the boy's cheeks, Nasch realizes just how weak he is compared to Tsukumo Yuma. Crying in front of others is indeed a sign of trust, in which Nasch was convinced he wasn't deserving of.
Later on, as he's speaking to Durbe, reminds himself that having a heart is indeed a very blessed gift.