AN:This is a Kirk-centric anthology of fifteen parts, following the course of his life but containing no scenes from the movie. They are written as both character studies and for practice with presenting associated but separate storylines. They are not in chronological order - it not being necessary for the unity of the whole. I am particularly proud of some of these, but that doesn't mean constructive criticism isn't welcome - at your discretion, of course.
Five Times He Thought About Death (One of Five)
George said he was a smart kid, and George was never wrong. And as a child of said intelligence, he had always been aware of the hole in their little family: the space to which his mother turned and found nothing.
One day George sat him down and said, "I need to tell you about our father," he straightened up and paid attention, because knowing George Kirk Senior was gone was different from knowing how or why or where. Knowing he was gone was merely a fact, but Mom had never even admitted to even that much, so there was nothing more – not even a clue – to speculate or draw conclusions from. Jimmy had abstained from doing so, because even as a six year old he knew how painful it was to hope or dream something that probably wasn't true and had little possibility of becoming so. He didn't have much of a taste for fantasy.
So when George told him, with a choking in his voice that made Jimmy want to hug him, that their father was dead, it wasn't shocking – but that didn't make it pleasant. "How?" Jim asked, the question he had wanted to ask since his fourth birthday, when his mother had taken one look at the overlarge Starfleet pin clipped to his shirtfront – one his brother had given him – and burst into noisy tears. He had taken the pin off and held it out to her, but she dashed it out of his hand and ran from the room. It fell to the floor with a a clatter of tempered metal, and when he picked it up and cradled it in his chubby toddler hand, the taller prong of the sweeping arc was bent over the command star, as if to hide some associated shame.
He was a hero, according to Georgie, but the words Jim heard every time George sniffled were, "He promised to come back."
His father was dead, but he had promised to come back. He had turned his ship and flown directly into their attacker and saved many lives, but he was still dead. Had it been worth it? A life and a broken promise for the crew of an entire ship? Starfleet had thought so, and George, Jimmy thought, believed so. But his mother still mourned and flinched when Jimmy smiled. IF there was one thing Jimmy knew without being told now, it was that his mother would have preferred that both she and her unborn child had died with her husband.
He had read once, in an old glue-and-paper book found in the attic, the words, "Do not pity the dead. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love."
Captain George Kirk, deceased – didn't need pity.
(Quote from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, American hardcover version, page 722)