BE KARKAT ==
You were having a moment of peace when your world was rocked by a force that gave no hint to its identity other than a boom. You were having a moment, nay a rare whole several minutes all to your angry little self in some other abandoned hole in the meteor you reside in. You were sitting on an unopened chest, staring at fuck all, and helping all your anxieties worry away at your brain like a barkbeast with a chunk of freshly hunted troll flesh. You were attempting to file away your ever present bitter jealousy of the girl of your flush falling literally blindly in love with that FUCKING TOOL as a thing of the past, when you were forcibly ejected from your broodingchest into the opposing wall, turning you into an incoming nuclear missile of swears. After exploding on the wall with a violent mushroom cloud of "FUCK", you gathered yourself and your sicklekind from your strife specibus. Now you are presently dashing through the halls, get the fuck out of your way, over the handle you go, screaming all the way.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" you yelled. "KANAYA, HUMANS, SOMEONE, WHAT'S GOING—"
You almost meet your maker at the end of a glowing rainbow drinker's chainsaw, as you come hurtling around a corner too fast and scared the living bejegus out of her. Her black magic matesprit was by her side, as usual.
KARKAT: HOLY FATHER OF ALL SHITS WATCH WHERE YOU'RE SWINGING THAT
KANAYA: I'm Sorry Karkat You Surprised Me
KARKAT: I HAVE BEEN ANNOUNCING MY PRESCENCE AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, HOW THE FUCK DID THAT NOT GET THROUGH TO YOU
KANAYA: I Apologize Again That I Didn't Hearken To Your Characteristic Vocal Belligerence But In Case You Didn't Hear There Seems To Be A War Waging On The Deck
KARKAT: OH GOG, DO YOU THINK JACK FOUND US?
ROSE: I don't think so. The menace that I'm feeling from the commotion doesn't feel like his. Also, there are two of them.
KARKAT: JEGUS, ALRIGHT FUCK IT LET'S JUST GO CHECK IT OUT AND HOPE THAT WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS, WE CAN KILL IT FIRST
You all proceed to scurry towards possible death or victory, pausing before the hatch leading to aforementioned possibilities. You give one last look to your two followers, registering their grim nods. Taking a deep breath, you throw the portal open and charge out into the deck, skidding to a halt as you come face to face with an unknown god tier and its bizarre halberd pointing directly into your suddenly panic-stricken eyeball.
When you're done shitting yourself with oh-fuck-I'm-dead terror, and after you realized that whoever the fuck this is isn't about to thread your eye to your think pan, you take a good look at the unkown god tier. Gray damselfly-esque wings quivered from the back of a black, oddly shabby coat with a high collar. The hood of the coat was pulled up and over the god tier's face, and was fastened at the neck to the high collar, completely hiding the whoever the fuck's identity. A hint at its gender/species was revealed as female/human by the strapless one piece under the coat. The jumper, in contrast to the coat, was a shining silver color with intricate rune-like detail swirling with every movement over the silk-like fabric, ending in puffy pantaloons at the knee. The horribly positioned halberd was also silver, or at least the bladed half of it was. The silver metal spiraled at the halfway point in the staff, connecting with a twirl of black wood that straightened out at the other end of the halberd in the shape of a…pencil? As you admire the strange properties of this artistic weapon, your cranium cogs come slamming to a halt when the god tier speaks to you. Not only that, but she's saying something that has the formerly mentioned cogs quitting from their usual duties entirely and absconding from your think pan on an impromptu vacation.
"Oh my god, you're Karkat."
BE THE WHOEVER THE FUCK GOD TIER ==
It happened. It actually fucking happened. Throughout these past several, dreadful, catastrophe-laced years of your life playing this game, you always wondered whether or not you would meet the fabled cast off of which your game was supposedly based on, AND that endless fuckfest web comic known as Homestuck. And now you have your X-Actostrator barely tickling the see-orb of one of your favorite characters.
"Oh my god, you're Karkat."
You unwillingly leave him to shit concrete rectangular prisms over your utterance when you're violently blasted away by a black pillar of corrosive energy that you almost barely deflect with the Illustration of a shield you hastily sketched with the other end of your spear of doodle life-bringing. You crash land after several meters, rolling a couple more before flipping onto your feet. You brace yourself and bring the X-Actostrator to the ready as you gaze across the deck to meet the cold, hateful gaze of your ex-boyfriend.
Let's take a ganderstroll down the past few years of increasing pain and tragedy. It all started when Athaza introduced you to a web comic thousands of unnecessary pages long called "Homestuck." At first you couldn't possibly begin to even tryto want to know why you should devote hours to reading about an overly positive pussy by the label of "John Egburt" fighting jester imps and searching for his daddy. But like every dedicated Homestuck fan, Athaza paved the way to a hopeless addiction for you by inciting words of encouragement such as "Keep reading, it gets better" or "Wait til you get to the trolls."
The trolls are what or who did you in. You loved the fuck out of those trolls, followed the shipping, became enamored of their varying personalities and traits. So how fucking cool was it when Hussie released Sburb on the real market? You got one immediately, as did Athaza and her boyfriend Zemi. You were surprised to find that your pessimistic and cynical Ourano also bought himself a copy. He pretty much abhors the internet and knows nothing of the comic, why would he pick this game to play out of all others? He explained it away as coincidence at the time, just needed another video game to play. But then you realized that the copies you, Ourano, Athaza, and Zemi had were the real deal. And then you realized after a time that Ourano knew this as well all along. But it wasn't until after the sudden destruction of your worlds and the brutal deaths of Athaza and Zemi, and then the current attempt on your own life did you realize that he had no intention of being a father of a new universe. After all the time and pain you sacrificed to curb his inborn psychotic anger, he merely learned to put on a mask in your presence while playing the mindless destroyer of worlds behind your back. Now the mask was gone forever, and he is presently attempting to play the role of the destroyer of…you. To be possessed by him entirely via the black passage of death, or whatever bullshit insanity he spouted before he attacked you. You were alternately battling and fleeing from him when you used the blade end of your X-Actostrator to cut a window through space when you were in a tight spot, and popped into the reality of people you believed only existed in a fairytale. A romantically clusterfucked interspecies fairytale that took place in paradox time and space.
Ourano is an extremely adept Heir of Void, who can freely manipulate void energies as a weapon, rather than more passive uses of Void powers such as teleportation and cloaking. It took form in a black, oily fire-like aura that disintegrated whatever mass it touched. He was hurling the terrible stuff at you now, easily eating away into any part of the meteor it touched. Quickly, you sketch multiple mini meteors with the X-Actostrator, and send them flying at the dark tendrils of destruction emanating from Ourano. With each hit, the meteors would dissipate, but so did the void energies; creation and erasure cancelled each other out. He smiles, and his eyes drift to a frantic noise coming from the space he blew you away from. You looked to Karkat too, and see that Kanaya and Rose have joined him, needlekind and chainsawkind at the ready. He was yelling and vehemently gesturing in a mad attempt to not understand the situation, at all, and almost forgetting the present danger that floated nearby, which had unleashed another bolt of void energy at the three.
Before they could react, you whip the Illustrator (pencil) part of your staff around to sketch out a wall that you bring to life between the trolls and the voidbolt. As the wall disintegrates with the blast, Rose flies through. Rambling something in the broodfester tongues, she directed both needles in Ourano's direction, capturing him mid-air much to his surprise. He has never read the comic as mentioned earlier, so he knew nothing of other players, or the fact that they had powers that could rival his. The veins in Ourano's face bulged with rage, and his void flame flared, corroding the thread and freeing his right arm. This was then daintily hacked off via Kanaya chainsaw follow up, Rose watching from behind with a smirk. That's fucking teamwork.
Regardless if the man you love destroys all you hold dear, kills your friends, then tries to kill you, love is still love. You stared in horror, a cry strangling itself in your throat while you watched Ourano shriek with pain as blood gushed from his arm. In a massive flare of void, he completely freed himself from the threads and began flying back towards the window you both initially entered from.
"I'll never forgive you, Erem you fucking whore!" he screamed. "I'm going to kill you, you're dead you stupid fucking bitch, I'll find you again and I'll bathe in your fucking blood DO YOU HEAR ME YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD YOU'RE FUCKING—"
And he was gone.
Somehow, you find yourself kneeling. The mask is suddenly suffocating you, and there's no need to Illustrate anymore, so you rip it back and continue to stare at the point where he vanished. The window had already sealed up and the meteor carried on with its journey, but nonetheless you stared. And stared. And stared.
But he was gone.
And so in a way were you. And you would not come back for a very long time.