New York City, 1AM.

'They were found.'

Natasha needed no further explanation after receiving the message. In less than 15 minutes, the woman was all set and ready to go, waiting for SHIELD's jet to take her here she was needed.

"Coulson." Natasha greeted her superior as soon as she walked in the quinjet "How's the situation?"

"Not good, Romanoff. Not good at all."

If Natasha didn't know better, she wouldn't have noticed that Phil was hiding something, but being the Black Widow, she was able to read the situation well enough to realize she was being lied to or something was being omitted. In the area she worked in, there was only one reason for omission before a mission had even started. Her heart started pounding so hard, she thought it was gonna rip through her chest.

"Coulson..." Breathing slowly, trying to calm down, Natasha forced herself to ask "Who's dead?"

If there was a God to believe in, that's Who Natasha prayed for on the 5 seconds Coulson waited before lowering his head and answering. "Laura." Obviously, she was not the greatest prayer.

When the name hit her ears, Natasha felt like the world was falling on her head. She'd never lost anyone before, she'd never knew the feeling anyone in her life. And as soon as the pain hit her chest, and her eyes started stinging, she wished she never felt that. When was the last time she cried? She didn't really know, but that was what she was doing.

God, not Laura. Not the only friend she'd ever had besides her partner. Clint. If she was hurting so much, she could never imagine how was he doing. And the children... Without Laura, she didn't know how they would make it. That beautiful family ruined just like that.

Suddenly, the air felt thick and scarce. Why was she having problems breathing? The jet was not falling, she had no lung injury...

Everything was blurry and shaky and now suffocating. Apparently, Natasha realized, crying was only one of the reactions after a loss, because she felt like dying when the hyperventilation started and was about to ask for an oxygen mask, being so unused to that feeling.

The crying agent felt a hand on her shoulder and was about to shake that hand out of there, but she looked up to see Coulson's eyes on her. He was trying to comfort her without invading her personal space, and she figured she needed that comforting hand more than she could ever admit.

"You'll mourn here." Phil started, gently but firm, after he got her attention "But when you walk out of this jet, Romanoff, you better look strong. Cry as much as you can in here, Natasha, because when you get there, you'll have to be the shoulder for that family to cry on." He said "That's why you're there. Not as an agent, neither as a partner, but as a friend."

Natasha wanted to protest. How could she, the Black Widow, be able to give that family the comfort they needed when she couldn't even deal with her own feelings? She was familiar with killing people, and not mourning their death. But her thoughts went back to Clint, her partner, her savior, her friend, and his children, the only family he had and the closest to a family she could ever have.

Natasha would be strong for them, she promised herself. She owed them for all the good things and feelings they gave her. She owed Laura, most of all, for inviting her to the family as a sister of hers, not Clint's, for allowing her to experience the feeling of having what Natasha had never had before.

Thinking about Laura intensified the pain again, the pain she though was gone after Coulson's words, so she allowed herself to cry again. To mourn the loss of her friend, her sister by heart.

Natasha then started to wonder if a pain like that could ever go away. Even if it wasn't as bad as many tortures of the Red Room, she felt as much pain as she felt after the survival tests, brainwashing or interrogation sessions in there.