Written for Day One of GrayLu Week: Cold.
I was informed about this week ages ago and I had plenty of time to write in advance, but I was busy with other things and long story short I just finished this today. I'm going to try and write something for each day of the week (even if it's short), and ideally link all the days together in one story... maybe jumping around a little, not necessarily following one clear plot, but at least in the same 'verse'. Fingers crossed that I manage it!
Also, I've kept up with the manga but I haven't written FT fic in two years, so forgive any egregious mistakes please. ^_^
It really is an accident. Gray wasn't intending to snoop on Lucy when he broke into her apartment via an ice-make key and started rifling through her desk – well, okay, yeah, he was. But only on her book! He just wants to know what happens in chapter nine, because chapter eight left off at sort of a literal cliffhanger with these trolls, and Gray wants to be certain Lucy won't kill off her love interest, but she's capable of being surprisingly ruthless in her writing and it's still early enough to introduce a new guy later if she wants. Gray likes Matt though, the guy's got style and being drop-kicked off a cliff by a troll would be a shitty end, and he keeps worrying about it despite himself, and he can't find it anywhere in her desk, shit –
His hands close around a notebook, buried under a pile of scrap paper at the very back of a drawer. Gray grins victoriously as he pulls it free, gives the room a quick furtive glance to make sure he's still alone as he flips it open – and stops abruptly, staring down in confusion at a picture of Jellal of all people.
No, he realizes a second later, it's Siegrain – his 'brother' on the Council back then. Next to the picture is a tidy list of stats – age, height, affiliation, magic type, most attractive qua- most attractive qualities?!
Stifling a squawk of surprise, Gray flips back a page. Lucy's List of Perfect Boyfriends, the title page neatly proclaims. He flips forward again. Siegrain stares at him smugly, intelligent and ambitious and right underneath him is fucking Loke who knows how to treat a lady the notes say and holy shit, chapter nine is the last thing on Gray's mind right now.
After all, this is obviously hugely outdated (Loke's crossed out but Siegrain isn't), but even so it's great blackmail material, and –
Gray turns the page and sees his own face.
This time he does squawk.
-xxx-
An hour later, Gray trudges into the guild and directly into Erza, colliding with enough force that she is actually knocked back a step. This is literally the only event that could snap him out of the daze he's been in ever since discovering that he is third on Lucy's List of Perfect Boyfriends and that his headlining quality is his aloof and cool attitude.
"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'll watch where I'm going don't kill me," Gray blurts and then makes a run for it over to the relative safety of Mirajane and the bar before Erza can respond. He sinks onto a stool, panting, and Mirajane greets him with a sweet smile and a bowl of ice cream.
Gray grunts a thank you and pretty much just crams the entire bowl into his mouth in one go before laying his head flat on the surface of the bar and trying not to hyperventilate. He's not even third actually, because Siegrain was just a thought projection and Loke's been crossed out, so Gray is in first place. He is at the top of the list.
(Natsu's five pages in. He doesn't even have a picture.)
And, okay, yeah, Lucy got his birthday and his height wrong and this was written back when she thought Siegrain was actually a catch so obviously he shouldn't take it too seriously, but on the other hand he is at the top of the list.
Look, Gray rationalizes to himself, sitting up a little and vaguely noticing that his shirt has gone missing, it's not like he's going to be doing anything wrong, here. Really, his initial plans for blackmail were way worse. Gray is just going to take advantage of the knowledge that Lucy appreciates his aloof and cool attitude to maybe help remind her that he does in fact still have all those admirable qualities that make him worthy of being at the top of a List of Perfect Boyfriends. And that he's available. And maybe not exactly disinterested.
He can be aloof and cool. He's aloof and cool all the time. It's really not such a big deal. He'll just… ramp it up, a little. For Lucy's sake.
It's no big deal.
-xxx-
"Good morning, Gray!" Lucy chirps. She's got a bright smile on her face and is holding her dog spirit thing in her arms, and Gray's heart does the usual one-two skip.
"Hey," he says absently, turning away and crossing his arms over his chest. He kind of leans up against the pillar next to him and stares seriously across the room.
"Um," Lucy says, after a moment. Gray thinks she's staring at him, but he's not gonna look back at her to make sure, that'd ruin it. "Are you okay?"
"'m'fine," Gray says, looking fixedly at Gajeel eating a handful of what looks like forks. He's going to get in trouble for that. "Why?"
"Oh, uh… no reason," Lucy says. Then she's quiet for a long minute.
Gray is quiet too.
Across the room, Levy comes over with a bowl of nails and neatly switches them out for the forks, scolding Gajeel as she does so.
Lucy's little dog spirit thing makes a weird noise, a kind of "pu-puun."
Gray did not remember aloof being this hard.
"Well, um, good morning," Lucy says again, and when Gray finally (finally) lets himself glance at her, she's walking away.
But – slowly, and she looks back at him twice with a thoughtful expression, and Gray gets this little knot in his stomach and thinks: Yeah. Okay.
I can do this.
-xxx-
Over the next three days, Gray proceeds to ignore Natsu's attempts to start a fight no less than seventeen times. It's really, really (…really, really) difficult not to get worked up at the dumbass, but every time he starts to snarl back he can feel Lucy watching him, and he thinks aloof and cool aloof and cool and turns his head to the side and scoffs instead. He gets a hell of a lot of weird looks, but that's okay, he can handle that.
Besides, ignoring him only pisses Natsu off more, so it's kind of fun.
Gray also avoids getting into long conversations if he can help it. He's not rude, just kind of disinterested and doesn't really hold up his end of the conversation and people eventually walk away. He avoids the middle of the room in favor of finding places where he can lean up against a wall and brood mysteriously. He stares everywhere but at Lucy, and gets a crick in his neck from tilting his head just-so to create an aura of superiority. Whenever he notices that he's lost clothes he tries as hard as he can not to react, just shrugs like he doesn't care and sometimes doesn't even bother to put them back on. He crosses his arms a lot.
It's pure torture.
Gray doesn't know how people do this! It's so goddamn boring, he feels like he's falling asleep. He has to keep a distance from all his friends; while they're causing chaos and having fun, Gray is literally just staring at walls. Half the time he feels like he's slipping into sulking, which is definitely not cool, but what the hell else is he supposed to do? He can hear them roaring with laughter, calling each other's names, sharing stories and telling jokes and just being their usual everyday idiot selves, and it's not fair. Sure, Gray's usually one of the calmer ones except when it comes to fighting with Natsu, but that doesn't mean he dislikes his friends' rambunctiousness. Life without it is… surprisingly lonely, and it's even worse when they try to draw him back in to their usual shenanigans and he has to shut them down. He's pretty sure they won't let him do it much longer anyway; last time Erza gave him a look like she was seriously considering disemboweling him. If Lucy doesn't get a move on and actually approach him, Gray is probably going to wind up murdered at this rate – and he'd welcome it, at least it would be less boring than this.
But.
But Lucy has noticed.
Ever since that first thoughtful glance, she's been watching him. He knows it's her; he's caught her sometimes before he looks away again, and besides, he can just, he can tell. That's been the hardest part of this charade – ignoring Lucy. Gray's known for a while that he likes her (he wouldn't be doing this if he didn't); but he never really realized how much he habitually watches her until he's had to forcibly restrain every impulse to glance her way. To hold back every grin or stray comment he wants to shoot her direction, to keep from perking up every time he hears someone say her name. It's embarrassing, really, and Gray finds himself wondering how no one's ever called him on his feelings before if he was so obvious (he must've been so obvious thank god his guild is full of oblivious morons).
Still, it's all worth it – every bit of boredom, loneliness, or humiliation. Gray would do it again without a second thought.
Because on just the third evening of being aloof and cool, Lucy follows him out the door of the guild and says, "Gray, will you take a walk with me?"
-xxx-
It's a nice night. The weather's in that sweet spot right at the beginning of fall, when everything's crisp and clear and the leaves are just beginning to turn gold. Most people assume winter is Gray's favorite season, but to be honest he can drum up some ice any day, and while it's a little trickier, he can do snow too. Autumn is Gray's favorite season because of the vibrant plants and comfortable temperature in the air. It's cold enough for an Ice Mage to enjoy, but not too cold for ordinary people… like Lucy.
She's wearing a sweater but still has a miniskirt, and she's got her hands clasped behind her back and she's humming quietly as she leads the way to a nearby park. Gray's lagging behind, staring at her hands and her hips swaying as she walks and her hair swishing slightly and it's only been three days, he's pathetic, but he's staring anyway. His heart's beating fast, and he's trying not to think things like finally, or hell yes, or Lucy Lucy Lucy but he's not having much luck.
Neither of them talk for the full five minutes it takes to get to the park. When they arrive, Lucy looks around for a minute before hopping up to sit on top of a picnic table, and finally (finally) looks up at Gray. He takes a deep breath, puts his hands in his pockets, waits, waits, waits…
"Gray," Lucy says softly, and dammit, Gray feels like an idiot but he is seriously holding his breath right now. It's just, this is Lucy, and for all that he was first on the list he somehow didn't really expect such fast results and he didn't think at all about preparing himself during the five-minute walk to get here, that's all, and he can't breathe.
"I don't know what's going on, exactly," Lucy says, voice soft, "but for the past few days, you've been…"
(finally, Gray thinks, fucking finally)
"...you haven't been yourself." Lucy looks up at Gray, calm and determined and not – not what he expected, not – "I don't like it."
(hell yes, Gray thinks, lagging behind – then, what)
"What," he says.
"It might not be any of my business, but… Gray, you've been so cold. It's like you don't even care about the rest of us anymore."
"No," Gray says, tugging his hands out of his pockets, and that breath he was holding is rushing out of him in a quick round of stuttering protests, he feels this looming sense of disaster, "wait, no. That's not – I'm – no, okay? No."
Lucy sighs, and gets this little relieved smile, and this isn't what Gray wanted. "Don't worry us then," she kind of mumbles grumpily, before raising her voice again, staring him down so sincerely: "Listen, Gray, if there's anything that's bothering you – you can tell me. I'm your friend."
"…yeah," Gray mumbles, feels shame burning his cheeks and ducks his head; this is not what he wanted at all. "Yeah, I know. Sorry. It was just… never mind."
He stares at his shoes and clenches his jaw and takes off his shirt and reminds himself idiot idiot you knew it was a long shot and for a moment there's no sound at all except Gray's heartbeat pounding in his ears.
Then he feels a hand on his shoulder.
He looks up.
"I'm sorry," he tells Lucy, because her eyes are large and brown and he can't be anything but honest. "I promise it's over now."
Lucy smiles.
Then she yanks him forward into a hug, burying her face in his neck and wrapping her arms around his back to grip at his shoulders. Gray blinks. He can feel her hair under his chin, her breasts pressed against his chest, her fingers trembling on his bare skin.
Slowly, he lifts his arms to hug her back. (what is happening)
Lucy sighs happily when Gray returns the hug, does this little wiggle thing to press herself even closer woah, and he finds himself kind of clutching at the back of her head a second later, pulling her as close as is physically possible, and Lucy Lucy Lucy he thinks dizzily, he has no idea what's going on.
"I missed you, Gray," Lucy mumbles into his neck, and on the one hand he feels guilty but on the other hand he can feel her lips moving, god.
"I missed you too," Gray says, and he should probably let go after saying that, but he doesn't. He holds Lucy close and shuts his eyes and just breathes, and it feels… really, really good. Peaceful; right; the-way-it-should-be, even when Lucy finally does pull back and he has to loosen his grip on her a little, because she's absolutely beaming and he thinks how stupid am I.
Cold and aloof can go to hell.
Gray would much rather grin wide right back at Lucy, any day.
-xxx-
They just stand there, grinning like idiots, still holding one another in a loose embrace, and Gray's thinking to hell with trickery, why not just be honest with her and tell her outright. He opens his mouth to just say it, just blurt it out simple as that –
"Gray, your shirt," Lucy says.
"Wha-AH," Gray shouts, realizing way too late that he took off his shirt earlier which means he's been hugging Lucy half-naked and he can feel his face go tea-kettle red and he jumps for his shirt in a panic and… Lucy is giggling.
"Yup," she laughs, seemingly oblivious to the way Gray has stopped dressing to stare at her openmouthed (he shuts it quickly once he realizes). "I definitely missed this."
She looks up, still giggling, only to freeze when she realizes Gray's watching her. She blushes and coughs and looks away quickly, but glances back only seconds later.
Gray smirks. Lucy kind of squeaks, and shoves him back so she can jump down to the ground.
"What did you miss, Lucy?" Gray drawls, feeling very cocky all of a sudden, feeling warm all over in a good way, feeling reckless and more than a little in love.
"Shut up, you pervert!" Lucy shouts, stomping away. "I'm going home!"
"Ahh, wait, I'll walk you," Gray says quickly, and sidles up next to her. "Since you missed me so much."
She threatens him with her whip and he laughs and she glares, and the whole walk home he tries to subtly ask about Matt's fate with the trolls but she won't breathe a word, and they wave goodbye at her doorstep, and it's so much better honestly like this. He's going to tell her soon – as himself, though, not some out-of-date cliché. As Gray Fullbuster: rambunctious Fairy Tail idiot, Lucy's friend.
.
.
(The next morning he walks into the guild and punches Natsu directly in the face.)