Stalemate

Summery- ShikaIno. A battle of wits, ice water and Asuma having "privet discussions" all in one nice cellophane wrapped package. What could be better?

Hn. Disclaimer, too troublesome. You already know it's not mine.

Shikamaru sighed, "Hn troublesome ".

2 weeks ago

"Come on Shikamaru pour me a drink already!" Ino's pretty face contorted in annoyance as Shikamaru muttered something and kept watching the clouds. As Ino continued to shriek he grimaced, why had Asuma Sensei made them go on this picnic again? To "promote togetherness", or so that he could have a romantic interlude or what he called "a privet discussion" with Kurenai in the woods, which according to Naruto was code for Asuma was "getting some", either way it was very troublesome. The lazy genius yawned and scratched his head before lying down in his usual position and raising his half opened gaze to the sky. The clouds were nice, free as always, their only ambition to drift, no troublesome missions, no Ino squawking in his ear. Just aimless drifting

"Shikamaru! Come on! I want a drink!" Ino fumed inwardly as the boy ignored her. Ever since he had become a Chuunin, Shikamaru had been acting differently. He still lazed around whenever he could, he still complained and muttered troublesome every few seconds when forced to do something, he still wore his hair in that stupid pineapple topknot…ok so he hadn't really changed that much, but he wasn't doing what she asked anymore . Whenever she would ask him to do something, perfectly polite as always, he would mutter troublesome and ignore her. Shikamaru had begun to grow a bit of a backbone and Ino hated it! Stupid pineapple head! "Shikamaru pour me some water or I'll I'll…just do it ok!" Arrrrgggg he's still wasn't listening, when she had lost her magical convincing powers! Choji still listened to her and even if he ever didn't she could always just take away his precious potato chips. When had Shikamaru become so difficult! She was supposed to be the leader of the Ino-Shika-Cho Trio, so why wasn't Nara Shikamaru following orders! He was going to ruin the equilibrium of their team! "SHHHHHHIIIIIKKKKAAAA!"

" Fine, listening to you is too troublesome," the stupid pinapple head groaned a bit sitting up and sighed. Grabbing the jug of icewater next to Choji, he pulled it back just in time before some potato chip crums contaminated it, or at the very least made it very icky.

Inner Ino smiled gleefully! She had gotten Shika to do what she wanted and it only took her half an hour. She probably could have poured and drunk three glasses of water in that time, but still she had won! Now if only she could think of a more effective way to get Shikamaru to do what she" AH! " Ino bolted upright, "My new shirt! You,you just got icewater on my new white shirt! This is silk you clod!"

. It wasn't until Shikamaru felt the pain of Ino's fist connecting with his jaw and heard the thundurous clicking of her departing heels that his mouth began the close. Blinking repeatedly, he shook his head trying unsuccessfully to clear it. Glancing at Choji he saw the same dumbfounded look on the teenager's face. Scowling at the ground, he tried to will his heart to stop rumbling and his face to lose its deep red flush, "troublesome."

It didn't take Ino that long to notice the hesitant but constant looks that Shikamaru had been giving her for the past couple days. It also had not escaped her clever mind just what body part his eyes always seemed to focus on. Before the picnic "incident" occasionally she had noticed his eyes flicking over her body, but it was only done with a sort of lazy semi interest. But now, during practice, when he and Choji walked her home, even across the room at the Ramen shop, she would catch him staring at her. He must have thought she didn't notice but she always did. His once disinterested eyes would become somewhat glazed over, his mouth slightly open. It was funny, half trout, half pineapple. What was even funnier was when they would converse; he would spend the whole time fighting with himself to keep his eyes on her face.

She also couldn't help but notice that the lazy Nin had gone back to doing things for her, sometimes before she even asked him to! Especially since she had taken to wearing very thin t-shirts instead of her normal purple sweaters. She had even stopped wearing a bra before Asuma Sensei had pulled her aside and told her "the t-shirts were pushing it, but could she please wear a bra before her teammates fell to the ground unconscious from constant nosebleeds".

Who knew a now ruined white shirt could produce such profitable results…actually…she should have already known that. She and Sakura had read the "romance novels" her mother had stashed in her top drawer enough times to know just what a see through shirt and puckered nipples could do to a man of almost any age.

Sometimes she would feel bad when she would deliberately lean over in front of the Nara, "accidentally" showing him just what exactly was hidden underneath her t-shirt, but deep deep deeeeeeep down a part of her felt a slight thrill when she heard his breath quicken as his eyes locked on the "goods". Also, he looked pretty cute when he blushed. NO, no no not cute, funny! Half trout, half pineapple!

He knew exactly what she was doing. He was after all a genius, much smarter then most of the men in Kohona and definitely most of the women, though he hadn't really been acting like anything but a buffoon lately. In fact, just yesterday, he had been so distracted by the memory of the combination of ice water and Yamanaka Ino that he had actually lost a match of Shōgi to Asuma Sensei. Despite his teacher's overwealming cockyness while he played, he really really sucked at the game and Shikamaru had lost to him!

For about the last two weeks he had been stumbleing around trying to think of anything but Ino. Clouds, Shōgi, hell he even tried to conjur up the thought of Jiraiya naked, but after the expected shudders and overwelming nausea passed, his traitorous mind had flounced right back to many many intresting thoughts about the pretty blonde. But she wasn't really helping him stop, those tight t-shirts, the five days she hadn't worn a bra…When he had overheard Asuma Sensei telling her to start wearing one he had certainly been relieved, but he had also been very disappointed.

He had been such a super idiot that, for the first couple days, he hadn't even noticed that everything she was doing was on purpose. It was until Ino had leaned over him trying to retrieve her kunai for a suspiciously long time while, in the process, showing all she "had to offer", that his sluggish brain had even begun to notice that something was off. And the worst part was the pieces hadn't even clicked until he had heard Choji mutter, "Why does she always give him all the attention? I'm here too." Why had she been giving him so much attention indeed? It wasn't like he was handsome or even interesting, at least not to someone who was obsessed with the "mysterious" and overly angsty Uchiha Sasuke, so why was she actually taking the time to show off her body to him?

He had soon came to the conclusion that she was pissed at him for something and this was her way of getting him back for whatever the hell it was that he had done. Ino could be scary when she was angry, hell she was scary in general sometimes. He had endured Ino's wrath many a time with little complaint but this was seriously pushing it. She was causing his brain and body to rebel against him.

Before Ino had begun tormenting him, he has been quite level headed when it came to girls and the female form, able to stay aloof instead of acting like a total senseless idiot similar too how most guys around him did. Girls were troublesome, at some point he would get married to an average wife and have a few average kids, but until then he knew he would be able to keep total control of his senses when it came to girls. Who needed someone who cried all the time and wanted to talk about their feelings for a few kisses and the occasional grope, not Shikamaru that was for sure .Or so he thought until a certain cup of ice water had soaked a certain blonde's white shirt. It was so troublesome.

If it weren't for Ino, he would be contemplating the density of clouds instead of trying to devise strategies of how to tear one of her flimsy t-shirts with his kunai and make it seem like it was an accident. If it weren't for Ino, Shikamaru was convinced that he would have been able to control and suppress any hormones he may have during his teenage years and as soon as she stopped shoving her chest in his face he would go back to being able to do so.

But Shikamaru had a plan, a plan that was so simple and foolproof that he wondered why he hadn't thought of it earlier. Of course, whenever he did try to think about the situation he would begin to become…restless and then he would have to…well he wasn't going to think about what he had had to do because once he put his plan into action he would never have to do it again. Well maybe he would…but just once or twice…three times tops. Once his plan succeeded, and Shika was absolutely positively with only 7.2 of a doubt that it would, this whole ordeal would be over. Now all he had to do was find his opponent...uh erm…teammate Ino.

Target spotted, Shikamaru strode over with a concentration he only ever showed while thinking up his next move, both in leisurely games and during more troublesome missions.

"Shika, what the hell are you UMPT!" The plan was to kiss her for thirty seconds. He had figured that once the initial kiss was performed, not only would she be mad as hell, but she would also be so embarrassed that she wouldn't be able to even look him in the eye causing any extra attention she might give him to halt and freeing him from getting the ulcer that would soon be created by the way his innards would twist and turn anytime she was near.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9…. He hadn't even been able to count to ten when he realized just how good she tasted. Her lips were sticky and sweet with the cherry lip gloss she always insisted on wearing; they almost tasted as good as mackerel and kelp. His technique was clumsy and just a little bit sloppy but the amount of enthusiasm he put into it caused it to actually feel very pleasant.

He had just cleaned off her lower lip and was now beginning to flick his tongue over the upper one when she pulled away. Shika's eyes remained closed, as he stood slightly dazed. A few quiet moments passed before Ino shrieked "That was saved for Sasuke-kun!" punching him with such force that that his face snapped sideways, but he hardly noticed. He still continued to stand there with his eyes closed as she stomped off to yell her outrage to anyone she could find.

The plan had supposed to have worked perfectly. It had been practically foolproof, but the flushed Nara had never thought to calculate one very important factor into his seemingly "great" strategy. Running his tongue over his lips absentmindedly and feeling his body shiver as he tasted the remnants of her delicious lip gloss, Shikamaru realized that he had just done one of the stupidest things he ever had. He had lost the game in the worst way that could ever be possible and now he was totally and irreversibly screwed.

Oh gods! Now he was going to end up just like his father!

Then again…if he had actually opened his eyes he would have seen Ino's face replicating his own during the silent seconds after the kiss, as if a victim of his Shadow Jutsu. The only difference was her fingers were softly touching her lips. If he hadn't been so dazed at the time she walked away, he might have noticed her stumbling, cheeks flushed and her breathing quick. If he had just looked at her once he might have notice that he hadn't actually been totally defeated…rather it was more like he and Ino had reached a stalemate…

Shikamaru sighed, "Hn troublesome ".