A/N - Well, I can't believe it's over, but I'm so glad they got to sail into the sunset together. We got our happy ending! However, I just couldn't deal with Sara giving up the director to sail with Grissom forever-it was way too "Rachel got off the plane" for me, which I still hate after all these years. So I wrote this. Thank you, CSI/GSR friends. I have been a part of this fandom for 11 years and it's been so rewarding and gratifying. I'm sure I still have more of these stories in me.
Also: I wrote this in kind of a hurry because I'm going to Vegas today, woohoo!
Thank you for reading, and as always, I love me some feedback.
The air was crisp, the water was crystal blue, the sunset was amazing, and Sara Sidle was desperately happy. As she grasped Gil's hand and looked into his eyes, she felt like a school girl in love. For the past 17 years of her life, it had been Gil Grissom, and it was always going to be Gil Grissom. The way he looked at her, the way he was holding on to her for dear life, she knew, knew, that he felt the same way... and that made her more nervous than she cared to admit.
For the past couple of days, she hadn't been herself. Snapping at Lady Heather, being the jealous and insecure and bitter ex-wife-Sara thought she was over the hardest part of the divorce, but seeing Gil again brought it all back. She hadn't seen him in two years, and now here was, in her lab, defending Lady Heather in a way that sent Sara into a realm of despair she hadn't felt in a long time. Once upon a time, Sara knew she was the love of Gil Grissom's life-he told her as much in their vows at the wedding, and in every heartfelt conversation of their marriage. But the way he talked about Heather, Sara had her doubts.
But she had seen the tape of his confession to Heather, thanks to Lindsay Willows. The whole situation was classic Grissom and Sara; she didn't want to hold him back from pursuing what he really wanted, and he couldn't find it within himself to confide his true feelings to Sara, but he sure could tell someone else instead. Sara never forgot the way Grissom talked to Dr. Lurie so many years ago while she was behind the glass. Up until that point, she was one thousand percent confused as to the nature of his feelings for her. It crushed her in a way she'd never experienced before, but at least she knew that he "couldn't do it." And now, she found a new kind of faith in hearing him tell Heather that Sara was his best friend.
But how long would this last? She only packed an overnight bag, and sooner or later, they were going to have to talk about this. A huge part of Sara didn't trust what she was seeing right before her very eyes. Not that she didn't trust him, but, well, she sort of didn't. It was always easy to get back together. They never stopped having chemistry. They never stopped loving each other. The hard part was staying together; being on the same page, agreeing on where the future would take them.
As the sun went down and darkness enveloped the ocean, Gil docked the boat. They went inside the cabin of the boat where Sara could only see what she wanted to see-a bed. And they, well, got carried away in the moment. It had been years since they touched each other this way, and Sara responded just as she always had. The first time they made love, Sara was completely taken by surprise. She'd always been attracted to Grissom, but their intimacy was made of friendship, chemistry, passion, things left unsaid, and it was so intense and powerful. She hadn't experienced anything like it before or ever since.
"Wow," Gil said when it was over (and it was not over quickly). Always a man of so many words.
"I know," Sara said. "I missed that."
Gil was stroking her arm, and she was swept up in a wave of emotion for this man she's loved for so very long. And before she could stop herself-she was always overtalking around him-she said, "Do you think we'll make it this time?"
Gil exhaled, and struggled to sit up on the bed. Sara did the same. They usually saved their serious discussions for when they didn't just have the best sex of their lives, but Sara had some things to say, and she wanted to know where he stood, as well.
"Sara, I-"
"No, wait, I need to tell you this... I spoke to Catherine before I left today, and then we both talked to Ecklie. Catherine wants to stay in Vegas. It's home to her, just like in a lot of ways, it's home to me, too. She wants the director job if I don't take it. But here's the thing, Gil-I do want it. I've wanted it for a long time, maybe even since I moved here to investigate Warrick for you. I'm good at this job; I like this job. No, I love this job. So... Ecklie agreed to let Catherine and I rotate the position. She'll do it for two months at a time, and then I will do it for two months at a time. That way, we can pursue other things. We can get clarity. We can... be with the people we love. And I know staying in Vegas doesn't interest you, Gil. I know that. What I don't know is how we're going to keep doing the long distance thing, because clearly it doesn't work for us."
Sara said all of this very fast. She knew she was ruining the moment, but he had to know. Grissom had to know that Sara was not ready to leave Vegas-not yet, and maybe not any time soon. She loved him more than she knew what to do with, and she wanted him by her side for the rest of their lives. Sara wanted to support him, and she wanted him to support her. But she couldn't spend one more second chasing after him if he "just couldn't do it."
Gil exhaled. She was so nervous about what he was going to say. Why was she so nervous?
"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, Sara. And while the circumstances were less than ideal for my return to Las Vegas, I was glad I had the opportunity. I enjoy my life at sea. I like being a warrior for the oceans; it's not something I knew I was passionate about until I was doing it. However, seeing you again, like I said, left me breathless. And I've come to realize that I don't want to do anything unless I'm with you. You are my rock. You are everything."
Sara was grinning. She couldn't help it. "Wow, that's... that's amazing. But what does that mean for us? For you? I mean, where are you going to live?" That was the million dollar question. Sara knew he was currently living in a small apartment in San Diego, while most of his furniture and bug paraphernalia was still in a storage unit in Vegas.
"Well, if you'll have me, I'd like to move back into the house with you. I don't know what I'll do next, but I have plenty of opportunities. Ecklie mentioned something about bringing me on as a consultant more often, especially with the entomological cases. And I would love to finally write that book on serial killers. It would be nice to have a permanent place to do that."
Sara couldn't believe what he was saying. Even before they got married, Grissom was always talking about where he wanted to go next, how much he wanted to get out of Vegas, how he never wanted to solve another crime ever again. And now he was going to come back... for her? Part of her wanted to tell him that he shouldn't settle down for her, but the other part, the part who had been through so much in her life, the part that saw her father being murdered, the countless foster homes, the schizophrenia take her mother over, the abduction by a serial killer and being left for dead in the desert part, the brutal divorce part...Sara knew she deserved this. Finally, after fighting for everything she had, she didn't have to fight anymore. She believed Gil. She wanted so much to believe him.
"I would like that," Sara said. "I would love that."
"Me, too," Grissom said. "And I am so sorry, Sara. I know I've been a terrible husband, and even worse ex-husband. I know it was a shock to see me, and I know the thing with Lady Heather was terrible for you. I'm sorry. She's just a friend, and nothing more."
"I know... and thank you," Sara said. Her first instinct was to also apologize, but she wasn't going to do that anymore.
"I want to come home," Gil whispered.
"I want to be your home," Sara whispered back.
They held each other and whispered more promises into the night. Sara thought she had lost him forever, but maybe this was just the beginning of their love story. Maybe they really could sail into the sunset.