For the small yet ever growing community of shikaten fanfictions. This fanfiction is dedicated to Prinzack, an amazing writer. Their stories have introduced me to the world of Tenten crack pairings which include Deiten, Kakaten and Shikaten. I am honored to have this story added to the community Of Steel and Swords where fanfiction's most spectacular writers come together to feed the fire of one of the most amusing crack couple. :D Anyway, enjoy and please review!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. (I should really think of something clever or witty to say next time.)
In the Nara household, it was not uncommon to hear high pitch nagging dispersing the settled morning air. Nor was it uncustomary to hear a milder baritone drawl retorting with logical observations.
The enormous wooden gates of the Nara household swung open creating a path for a storm and it's heavy load to pass through.
"Go walk your lazy bum up to the store! There are early bird specials that last till 7:00am and I need new makeup for my date tonight. That should give you enough time to go to the store since you walk at a pace slower than a slug that sipped some sake." Shikamaru's mom said as she let go of her son's ear with a heave in the general direction of his destination. Shikamaru righted himself to regain his balance with a slight stumble before slouching forward into his customary hunch. With a click of his tongue he shoved his hands deep into his pant pockets. From her dress Shikamaru's mom produced a slip of paper.
"Oh wait I almost forgot! Take this coupon, its 10% off a purchase of 10 dollars or more." She shoved the piece of paper into Shikamaru's hand as a triumphant smile adorned her face.
"Tch. You're smiling like it's the best deal in the world. If I buy 10 dollars' worth of makeup than you'll only be saving a dollar." Shikamaru stated in his usual lazy drawl. The smile washed off her face causing Shikamaru to mentally prepare himself for a back lash. Instead his mother just huffed and jabbed at the air with a small finger as she instructed her son to "Get out of here."
He turned on his heels mumbling an irritated "Troublesome" and trudged off to complete his errand.
Walking with his head turned upright to the sky Shikamaru could not help but be pleased at how clarion the sky was today.
Perfect day for cloud watching. Though Shikamaru as he brought his gaze down slightly to observe the time on the clock that embellished the store's front.
6:30, hm. If it takes me 5 minutes to find a nice clearing to cloud watch and 3 minutes to pick up theses troublesome womanly products than I shall have a total of 17 minutes to cloud watch. Shikamaru scanned his surroundings feeling satisfied when his terra-cotta eyes spotted a path leading into the nearby forest. He stepped forward onto the long unkempt grass appreciating the way the blades gently tickled his toes. As Shikamaru traveled deeper into the forest his trained shinboi ears picked apart the low clanging tenor of metal from the softer harmony of nature. The sound soon began to increase in magnitude till finally he was at the source. Curiosity got the best of him and he began carefully moving a few branches out the way. A handful of kunai shot through the air like dragonfly aimed for a malenky bull's eye painted on a tree. They hit their target with impeccable accuracy.
Shikamaru's surveyed the clearing quickly noticing a large mass of maroon and white shooting up into the air. To no surprise of the lazy genius the mass unraveled reveling Konoha's own weapons mistress. He watched as Tenten straighten her position into a nose dive producing six kunai which she cradled in between her long skilled fingers. With implausible speed she uncrossed her arms sending the impending kunai hurdling toward two unsuspecting dummies. Shikamaru's eyebrow rose slightly as he noted that each dummy had a kunai stabbed in its head, stomach and crouch. The far end of his lips twitched with a smirk.
A girl with a sense of humor is incredibly attractive. Shikamaru thought taking note of the other kunochi that always took things far too seriously.
Shikamaru's focused returned to the weapon mistress as he decided to survey her just a little closer. Small beads of perspiration had formed on her brow from her previously exhausting work out. The intense exertion has caused a light dusting of red to adorn her lovely tan face. One of her signature buns had come loose freeing a mass of thick curls. He gawked at just how long her hair actually was ending at the midpoint of her chest. His face visibly relaxed mentally noting that THIS was quite a comfortable sight to rest his eyes on.
The movement of Tenten's arm broke Shikamaru from his -err- observations. He then watched as Tenten's long deft fingers worked to replace her free flowing hair back up into its customary style.
With his daydream effectively broken reality began to set in. Dang! I hope I didn't miss the early bird special! Jogging out of the forest he thought to himself, Woman always so troublesome.
Troublesome or not the lazy genius found himself coming back to the training fields every day for the past four days. Each day that he frequented the field, Shikamaru tried to present some logic to the situation by coming up with an explanation as to why he visited. Some of which included,
"The training field is closer to my house than my usual cloud watching clearing."
"I'm studying her technique on trajectory so that I might improve mine without much practice."
Yes those are good reasons, Shikamaru commented mentally reassuring him.
Tenten was currently taking a break in the shade of a nearby willow tree catching her breath as she polished a few kunai. Shikamaru could hear her humming a sweet melody causing him to launch into a fantasy of the future driven by a statement he had made a while back.
"I hope to marry a regular girl who isn't too ugly and not too pretty..." And in her simplicity he found the most enticing beauty.
Snapping out of his daydream Shikamaru watched Tenten seal away the rest of her weapons and drape the large scroll over her lithe frame. Watching Tenten's retreating form vanish into the lavish forest Shikamaru smiled deciding that, Oh yes she could be that girl.
After the 5th day things were not running so dexterously. She had become a pebble in his shoe causing his mind to constantly wander off on a tangent at the most troublesome of times. He was currently in discoursed in a heated game of Shoji with his father. The only reason the game was so intense, and Shikamaru was not kicking his father's butt lovely, was because he was spontaneously daydreaming. Dang my genius mind for having such a vivid imagination it can be so troublesome at times.
Shikamaru had just barely been able to squeak out a win. His usually torpid mind was exhausted from all the extra ruminations and Shikamaru found himself to be all to relieved as he opened the door to his room and plopped face down on his bed. As he ambled off toward sleep Shikamaru mentally decided that the next time he laid eyes on the bun-haired kunochi he'd tell her of his harbored feelings in his straightforward manner.
Shikamaru let out a fathomless sigh as he pounded his shot glass on the wooden bar. His mind was smoking at the gears and Shikamaru wanted it to calm it down. Fast. He reposed his pineapple head on the counter and slowly closed his eyes. His mild nap was shaken by a soft jab to his left bicep. The Nara genius muttered a very drowsy and irritated "troublesome" as he sat up to address his assailant.
Brown met brown in an untimely fashion.
Tenten flashed him the dazzling smile that he had so suddenly came to love and innocently asked, "You feeling ok, Shikamaru?"
He quickly convened all his courage. The sooner the better. Setting his countenance in his accustomed guise he simply stated, "Tenten, I like you."
The nervous turmoil boiling in his stomach and chest did not reach his face. He was far too concentrated on trying to gauge her reaction. A very lurid blush was beginning to form and she gave him a perplexed look.
"Don't ask me what, how or why because I really don't know it just happened. I realized that you're the epitome of what I was looking for."
A smile was flourishing on her petal lips. Butterflies began tickling the lining of his stomach as those petals drew closer to his own. Shikamaru closed his eyes as Tenten placed a modest appreciative kiss on his ever waiting lips. She slowly pulled away. Shikamaru felt slightly irked as he was no longer able to savor the warm pleasant feeling as the pressure of her kiss released. Still he could not drop the goofy smile that had morphed his usually expressionless face. Shikamaru opened his rust colored eyes only to find that the bar had disappeared and he was standing in a grassy field surrounded by dandelions.
Luckily, the object of his sudden affection was still standing in front of him twiddling a fresh picked dandelion between her lofty fingers. She looked up at him eyes shaded through her lush thick lashes. Tenten's hair was down finally flying free from her restricting buns. Her lithe body was draped in a delicate white dress that reminded him of a passing cloud on a windy day.
His mind curiously that his body had gained weight causing Shikamaru to look down. He was no longer lanky and thin but large and hunky. He was wearing a white button down shirt opened halfway to show his now well-toned pecs and golden tan skin. His shirt was tucked in at the ends nestled into form fitting dark green pants. On his feet he sported black leather riding boots. Conveniently enough his trusty steed awaited him to his right a stunning white horse dusted with light gray spots. He smirked thinking to himself that he looked quite sexy. Shikamaru extended an arm to his beautiful lady in waiting and together they leaped on to the back of his sturdy steed riding off into the sunset.
Suddenly the sunlight's light became blinding bright.
"Gak!" Shikamaru coughed as he shot upright in his bed. He blinked away the last remints of sleep and scanned his surroundings. Just a dream. He sighed and threw the covers off of himself.
This has gone on long enough. After freshening up he slung his vest over his shoulders and strode out the door with purpose.
In a matter of minutes Shikamaru's goal lay in his sights. He proceeded up the usual path pushing out the branches that crowded his vision. He spotted Tenten sitting cross legged on the ground seemingly talking to another. Pushing the branches further back Shikamaru observed none other than the bun haired kunochi's teammate Neji Hyuga.
Tenten was animatedly talking to her companion about some unknown topic and the Hyuga was looking extremely captivated gazing at her with poorly concealed affection and a smile peaking on his lips.
"Neji Hyuga..." Shikamaru's face visibly fell a few notches. "Dang... How could I over look him? Tenten and Neji…" He couldn't help it but his rational mind began to formulate.
Neji Hyuga has approximately 1,283 fan girls. While I only have 986. If this is any bit an accurate measure of my aesthetics than the Hyuga is about 23% more attractive than me .For the measure on wealth… The Nara household is 10,563 sq. ft. While the Hyuga's is 12,637. Tch. That's another 16%. His IQ is 154 while mine is over 200. Hee. A percentage in my favor…
After taking a few other qualities into consideration Shikamaru equated that Neji Hyuga has a 31% higher chance of winning Tenten's affection.
Tch, and this situation is 100% troublesome. Shikamaru's sighs mentally picking his heart up off the ground and stuffing his hands into his pockets. Slowly he begins the trek back home but halfway he looks over his shoulder.
But 31 is quite a small percentage…