The Inbetweeners

Rudge Park Comprehensive. Every lads place of worship for a girl who was 'up for it' and a girl to put into their 'wank bank', for girls it was to go to great parties or have a long, typically unlucky and confusing relationship. It was also a bullies and chavs paradise because it had obtained the perfect victim. Will Mckenzie.

He was your perfect, stereotypical geek. Obsessed with getting good grades, never failed in creating himself an embarrassing situation and the master of not getting laid. Although he was a total oddball, he managed to fit in and become good friends with another three oddballs- Simon Cooper, Jay Cartwright and Neil Sutherland.

Simon Cooper, probably Wills closest friend and probably the only ordinary one of the group- although just as unlucky and odd as them, too. Simon was definitley the only one that would last perfect in a long relationship... if the girl was Carli D'Amato, his childhood sweetheart.

Jay Cartwright, the sex obsessed, compulsive, exaggerating liar of the group. The one who has apparently had more sex than Charlie Harper from Two and Half Men, although his dad has made it perfectly clear that these are all fictional, with his frequent contradictions. Truthfully, Jay was the least experienced of the group, struggled to attract girls and the only things he knew about sex was what he'd watched on a porn website.

Neil Sutherland, the thickest but probably the luckiest lad of the group. The one who attracts the most girls- real girls, not Jays fictional fucks- and the only one whos oblivious to pretty much everything, even the fact he's the prey of an obvious paedo geography teacher- Mr Kennedy, or Paedo Kennedy as he was best known.

ooo

It was a typical day at Rudge Park, Simon following Carli's every move, Jay talking about his fake, weekend shag-a-thon, Will being a dull-arse, and of course, Neil sitting there listening to every word and believing it.

'Yeah, so I had one on the wall, banging her like crazy, fingers up another two, while the other three were watching, so wet that it coulda flooded the whole of Britain!' Jay exclaimed, a cheeky smile forming on his face.

'Jay, I've never heard so much bull in my entire life.' Will yawned, flicking through the morning paper in the common room.

'Says Captain Fuck-Me-Not, with the only vag he's ever touched being sexy mums!' Jay laughed, causing Neil to laugh to.

'Good one, Jay!' Neil grinned stupidly, as usual.

'Yes, well done, bring up my obvious inexperience with women, and my mother- not like you haven't before.' Will raised an eyebrow.

'Morning lads,' Simon walked in, looking flushed and out of breathe. 'Missed Jays fake gangbang story yet?'

'It wasn't fake, I really had 5 girls in my room at the weekend, all hot for a bit of Jay!' Jay growled. 'Better than you, who probably wanked alone in your Carli Shrine for hours.'

Will laughed. 'Well, you've proved it's fake, since you apparently had 6 girls in your room, and for your information, Simon was at mine at the weekend.'

'Well, how am I meant to remember, I was too busy fucking- like you and simon, bum fun weekend?'

'Ha ha, funny Jay, funny. Actually, me and Simon were looking for Universities we want to try for.'

'Yeah, all of them shit.' Simon frowned.

'No, all of them good- you just don't want to go because you think you'd never get in.'

'Exactly.'

Neil looked blankly at them both. 'University? Why? you wont see us anymore.'

Will raised his eyebrow. 'And thats a bad thing?'

Jay grinned. 'It is for you, since you'll never get any mates there- or fit birds.'

'Yeah, exactly.' Neil laughed, gormlessly.

The bell rang as Will rolled his eyes, and the four of them got up and walked together to their lessons.

'Up for a drink tonight?' Carli said, walking past the four and talking to her blonde friend beside her.

'Yeah, Cock and Bull?'

'Sure, come to mine at 7!' Carli smiled as her friend nodded, and she went into Sociology.

Simon looked distant for a second, then seemed to come back to the present with a huge grin on his face.

'Night out tonight?'

'Yeah sure, Cock and Bull by any chance?' Will smiled.

'Read my mind W- Neil, Jay what are you giggling at?' Simon raised his eyebrow, looking annoyed.

'Cock and Bull.' Jay giggled, winking.

'Geddit?' Neil grinned, elbowing Jay hard and nearly knocking him off balance.

'Simon- please smack them.' Will sighed.

'Jay, its your perfect pub- Shame the Bull doesn't have shit at the end.' Simon laughed, high fiving Will.

'Twat.' Jay snapped sulkily. 'See you later, bender boys- c'mon Neil.'

As Jay and Neil walked off on the way to their lesson, Simon looked slightly worried.

'Whats the matter, Simon?' Will said, looking slightly impatient.

'Do you think Carli will talk to me tonight, or notice me at all?'

Will sighed 'We'll have to see tonight, won't we?'

'Yeah I guess...'

'C'mon, get to your lesson before Gilbert comes and gives us strings of verbal abuse.'

Simon nodded, and after day dreaming for a few minutes, went to his lesson.