Author's Notes: This is my first fic that I've wrote. I hope you all like it. Ummm that's pretty much all I have to say. Oh yeah, this chapter is small and a little boring, but the next chapter is better.
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Evangelion. This really wouldn't be a fan fic if I did.
Journal
The Day After Third Impact
Asuka is still mad at me. I can't really blame her, I guess I really am spineless. This journal is the only thing that I can't be spineless in; I can let out my own feelings in this. Asuka was hurt by Third Impact, not only her body but her pride too. She spends the day yelling at me, whining about her wounds, or lecturing me. Even though she still seems the same, I feel like she's actually being nicer to me. Maybe it's just hope or maybe Third Impact changed the way she feels about things. Third impact…. All those people are dead because of me, I still can't believe I made that choice, just to be with 'her.' But I did and all those people died because of my selfishness. I guess, in a way, I really am my father's son. I still cling on to what my mother said, about people being able to come back to life. I really miss all my other friends, all the people that actually seemed to care about me and acknowledge that I was alive.
I guess I'm rambling. Anyways today I went through the debris and empty buildings and happened to find a gas station, which was still, somewhat, intact. That took care of our food needs for a while. Sooner or later we'll have to leave town and go to somewhere else with food, but that'll have to wait until Asuka is better. I happened to come across this torn up notebook lying at the front desk of the gas station and decided to keep it as a journal.
Asuka asked me today why I was choking her when she woke up. I just stuttered out something as an apology. I really think I should stop apologizing for everything, because when I did Asuka reached out and slapped me with her bad arm. I can take a slap, but afterward Asuka was hurt, so I probably shouldn't apologize anymore, just so she won't get hurt. Another thing that was apparently on her mind was me masturbating to her comatose body. I, yet again, apologized and this time resulted with the same result. She wanted me to explain to her why I did it, but I really don't know. I really am just as perverted as she says.
I happened to find an empty lifeguard post and we're staying there for now. Right now she's asleep, I'm guessing today took a lot out of her. As for me, I can't sleep I have too much on my mind, too much to even begin to right in here. As for what tomorrow holds, I can only hope that I'll get along with Asuka. I really want to be her friend, even more than that if possible….
A/N: Till next time guys. Thanks for reading. Updates soon.