Author: Kathleen

Email: Beautiful Disaster

Character: Josh and Donna, with an itty-bitty bit of Will and Kate.

Category: Romance, Post-Episode "Drought Conditions"

Pair: Josh/Donna

Rating: Teen

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, but thank God to Aaron Sorkin for creating them. My life would not have been the same without them. Also, the song lyrics (or what I use of them) belong to Kelly Clarkson or Simon Fuller or 19 Entertainment or whoever else. Not mine either!

Summary: Post-ep Drought Conditions – Donna reflects on her time in the WW and with Josh after being reminded of him by a song that seemed to have been written for, and about, him. And then, the fun ensues!

Spoilers: Basically everything up through and including Drought Conditions!

She arrived late for the function. She had been running around all day doing what she always does, and barely had time to change and put herself together before heading out to the event. By the time she got there, CJ and the President had already left. She had heard mention that Cliff Calley also left with them and there were rumors swirling around about him being offered a premier White House job, but she refused to concentrate on that now. Cliff's name hadn't even been mentioned to her since the investigations concluded all those years ago. But, she had bigger things on her plate tonight.

She knew that she would run into him tonight, more than likely. All the Democratic candidates were going to be in the same room, giving their speeches and schmoozing. She wanted to make sure that she looked her best when she ran into him.

When she walked into the event, Matt Santos was just finishing up his speech. She had already missed the Vice President and John Hoynes' speeches. Matt Santos was the last of the bunch to go. Most of the Democratic supporters, and party it seemed, stuck around to see what Santos would say. When he finished, a good portion of the room seemed inspired. Santos walked off the stage and that's when she noticed him – she hadn't seen Josh since that day in New Hampshire. She had gotten a glimpse of him before the primary debate a couple of weeks ago, but she was keeping her head low. She had heard that Amy had been in town as well and was working with Santos. The last thing she wanted was to see them together again – she had had enough of that to last her an entire lifetime!

She watched as Josh and Matt Santos worked the room. Even after all these years, Josh knew exactly what he was doing. She noticed that Josh seemed completely comfortable being back in DC, even if it was just for a few days. People were lined up to meet "Lymon's guy", as she heard a few people refer to Santos. She looked around the room to find Will and was about to make her way over to him when she noticed that he seemed completely engrossed with Kate. She whispered something in his ear and Will seemed to blush a little bit. She would definitely have to find out what that was all about a later time.

She made her way over to a small table near one of the doors to the room. A waiter asked her if she needed anything and she ordered a white wine. She was going to wait until she could catch Josh alone. She had heard from Margaret earlier – something had happened between Josh and Toby after she had given Josh the info on Senator Rafferty's speech. She had wanted to find out then what it was, but, as Will put it, "Donna, they aren't your concern anymore – or, better yet, he isn't your concern anymore. You work for the Vice President now". That kind of stung a little bit and she really wanted to fight with Will about it, but she knew he was right. She left well enough alone for awhile, but was dying to find out what happened.

She sat down at the table and just took in the environment. She never would have imagined herself here when she set out from Wisconsin all those years ago. She had come so far over the last 8 years, and as much as it pained her to admit to herself, she knew that Josh Lyman had a lot to do with that.

As she started thinking about all of this, she heard the beginnings of a song from the speakers in the hallway. She knew that song – it was a song she listened to a lot. The song reminded her of Josh – if she didn't know any better, she would swear that he was the inspiration for the song.

He drowns in his dreams

An exquisite extreme I know

He's as damned as he seem

And more heaven than one heart could hold

Yeah, she admitted to herself, it was really easy to think about all the bad things – all the reasons she had told herself when she decided to leave the Bartlett Administration. Dealing with Josh and the aftermath of Rosslyn, his PTSD and the MS scandal and the death of Mrs. Landingham. There was Gaza and the White House crashes and Chris Carrick and the shutdown and Cliff, Jack, and Amy. She had used these as her excuses to get out when she did – she knew that each of these events had made her into who she was now and more importantly, had more of an effect on Josh because of all that he had been through before even coming to Bartlett for America.

I don't know

I don't know what he's after

But he's so beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster

And if I could hold on

Through all the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful

Or just a beautiful disaster.

While the bad things were easy to concentrate on during the days when she felt guilt about leaving the way she did, the good days and the fun days made those guilty feelings move toward longing – longing for the good old' days.

The waiter returned with her drink and she thanked him for it. She took this chance to survey the room. There was still a line of people waiting to meet Santos, but he seemed to be handing most of the introductions now. Josh was standing a couple of steps back, making sure his man made an impact. It was then, as she was watching him, that he looked at her and smiled. Not just any old smile, but the dimple smile, the smile that made her weak in the knees for him. She smiled back and nodded at him – letting him know that she was here and wanted a moment when he had a chance. He nodded back and she knew exactly what that meant. It had been months since they had worked side by side, but she still knew exactly what each motion meant.

I'm longing for love and the logical

But he's only happy hysterical

I'm waiting for some kind of miracle

Waitin' so long, so long

She spent years celebrating and laughing with Josh and the rest of the senior staff. So many unforgettable moments – Josh's secret plan to fight inflation, the time he and Sam tried to start a fire in the Mural Room, Karen Cahill and the underwear incident, They had spent so much time laughing about all those things.

He's soft to the touch

But frayed at the end he breaks

He's never enough

And still he's more than I can take

As she sipped her wine, she thought of all the good that man had done in 7 years as the Deputy Chief of Staff. Josh had gotten Charlie his job, he tried to save Leo from investigation, he helped her with the proclamation for Mrs. Morello and had helped orchestrate a huge change on the Supreme Court. He had been so caring and sweet to her when she returned to the campaign. He had written such beautiful things in the book and had taken her breath away when he said "if you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for a beer". She had become who she is because of who he was and how he was. All the times she had to fix his mistakes, calm upset senators, party leaders, press, and, sometime, Leo McGarry, she realized that all of these things had done nothing but help mold her into the person sitting her today. The thought of all those things made her heart swell a bit.

And if I could hold on

Through the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful

Or just a beautiful disaster

He's beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster

As she drank the last of her wine and listened to the end of the song, she realized that she had held on as long as she could. She had to start thinking about herself, but she found that hard. She knew, deep down in her soul, that she loved Josh and she would have given anything to stay by his side, but she had to do her thing, and Josh would have never let her do that. She believed that it was because he believed that he needed her to help him through. She had helped him through all the good and the bad that she knew he would never just let her leave or move on or up. She had to take her chance and that she had. She spent many nights crying in whichever random hotel room she was in that night. She had known that Will noticed how upset she was a first. She knew that was why he kept reminding her of what she was doing and why she left. Will was a smart man – she was sure that he knew why this was so hard for her.

She ran her finger around the rim of the empty wineglass and gave herself a little sigh. Hopefully, one day, when all this craziness was over, she could explain all this to Josh. "So much for my little pity party" she thought as she started looking around the room. It was mostly empty now. Santos must have made his way through everyone that wanted to meet him. She gathered her purse and coat and made her way into the hallway.

She was going to look for Will when she ran into one of the volunteers coming out of the bar area. She really wished she could remember his name, but there were just too many to keep track of. Good thing he spoke to her first.

"Hey Donna! When did you get here?"

"Awhile ago. Hey, have you seen Will?"

"Umm… yeah…."

"What?"

"He left with the pretty blond he spent all night flirting with – I can't remember her name."

"Kate Harper."

"Yeah, that's her. He said for me to tell you that they were going to get dinner and he would call you later if he needed you for anything."

Well, way to go Will! "Thanks for letting me know."

"No problem Donna. Oh, by the way, there is a guy in there asking about you – if you were still around or what."

"Which guy?"

"Don't know is name either. The one who was with Santos all night."

Gulp – she was trying to get rid of that large lump in her throat.

"Is he still in there?"

"Yeah, at the end of the bar."

"Yeah, thanks" and she walked away before the kid could ask her anything else.

She stood in the doorway of the bar just watching him. He stood up from his chair and paid his tab and was grabbing his coat to leave when he saw her standing there. They just looked at each other for a moment and she made her way over to him.

"You leaving?"

"Nope."

"What do you mean nope?"

"I mean nope, I wasn't leaving."

"Josh, it sure looks like you are leaving. You paid your bill, you are putting on your jacket. What else would you call it?"

"Getting ready to start my own search party."

"What in the world are you talking about?"

"Well, I was getting ready to come and rescue you from whatever little daze you have been in since you sat down at that table in the other room."

He had noticed that? Wow, he's still perceptive even after all this time.

"You noticed that, huh?"

He laughed. "Yeah, you were definitely deep in thought. Good thing you had already missed Bingo Bob's speech or might have lost your job for not paying attention."

"Josh, he's the Vice President. Show him a little respect."

"Ok, ok, if you insist – Vice President Bingo Bob. Is that better?"

Idiot! "Yeah Josh, much better!"

"You need to tell Will that he's got to write some new jokes for VP Bingo Bob."

"Don't think I haven't tried?"

He smiled at her and looked her up and down for a moment. She put her hand on the bar to steady herself while he looked at her.

"So, Donnatella, have you eaten?"

"When? Today?"

"Yeah, that's what I meant. Have you eaten at all today?"

"Well, I had a salad about" as she looked at her watch "9 hours ago and was thinking about getting something on my way back to the hotel…"

"Hotel? Donna, don't you still have an apartment in this town?"

"Sublet it to someone else. Saving a bit of money since I knew I was going to be traveling tons!"

"Well, ok then, anyway, back to the original question. I was asking if you have eaten tonight, as in dinner, not just a random 'are you eating your greens and taking your vitamins' type of inquiry."

"You realize, Joshua, that if I was anyone else, that would have made absolutely no sense."

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

"And no, I haven't eaten tonight."

"Well, I figured that when you said 'I was thinking about getting something on the way back to the hotel'. Let me rephrase the question, if I may?"

"You may."

"Would you like to go get dinner with me?"

"Absolutely!" That was out of her mouth before she had a chance to stop it. That must have been the exact reaction he wanted cause he just smiled and laughed a little bit. He put on his jacket and then helped her on with hers. He retrieved his change from the bar and put his hand on the small of her back, just as he had done for years, and began to lead her out of the bar.

"By the way, Donnatella, you look really good tonight."

"Glad you noticed."

She had a fantastic time at dinner. He had decided that they were going to one of their favorite restaurants in DC. It was actually the first place she had dinner when they first came to DC. Josh had been raving about this place during the campaign, so she had insisted on eating there for their first night in DC.

She loved the atmosphere in this place. It was electric. She and Josh talked and laughed and had a great time. They talked about everything except politics. Its not like they had agreed to not talk shop, but it just didn't seem to come up. They rehashed old stories – stories that they told to each other hundreds of times. They bantered back and forth like they had never been apart. Josh swore that the server was out to get him because he had to send his food back twice. He said he was pretty sure the guy was a Republican who was trying to keep him from getting a decent meal. Donna accused him of being paranoid and that sent them on a 15 minute banter about how the server was hitting her because Josh swore that they never, ever, gave that many chicken fingers in one serving in all the times he had been in here. By the time they finished dessert, her sides hurt from laughing so hard and Josh had to wipe his eyes on more than one occasion.

Josh left his credit card on the bill when the server dropped it off and said he would be right back. She just assumed he was going to the bathroom. While he was gone, she looked around the restaurant. She really missed the hustle and bustle of DC and being here everyday. She started to think about all the things she missed when she heard Josh from behind her. He leaned down and whispered in her ear.

"You aren't going back into a trance again, are you?"

"Josh, you scared me. You shouldn't sneak up on a girl like that. You ready to go?"

"Not yet."

"What – you still hungry?"

"Lord no – we ate enough for an army. No, I want to dance."

She looked up at him and saw his hand waiting for her to take it. She smiled at him and let him lead her onto the small dance floor at the back of the restaurant. The band had been good and the music had been enjoyable all night. As he pulled her into his arms, the first bars of a familiar song started.

He drowns in his dreams

An exquisite extreme I know

She gasped. "This is like one of my favorite songs."

"I know."

"What do you mean you know?"

"I mean I know. Donna, how long did we work together? How long have I known you? You don't think I know a favorite song of yours when it comes on?"

She pulled back enough to look him in the eyes and smiled.

"Did you request this song?"

"Well, I did inquire as to whether or not the band knew the song. When they said they did, I figured, why not!"

She smiled again and he pulled her back to him. She rested her head on his shoulder as he pulled their clasped hands into them. They danced very slowly and very close as the song continued.

His magical myth

As strong as what I believe

A tragedy with

More damage than a soul should see

That part of the song always got to her and now, with Josh's arms around her, it got to her more than it ever had before. She tensed up a bit as she tried to keep herself from crying. She knew that Josh could feel that but he didn't say anything. He just started to rub his thumb on her back and continued the dance.

Once the song was over, he pulled back from her and smiled. She smiled back and he planted a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"Now I'm ready to go."

With that, they gathered their coats from the table and left. Josh insisted on walking her back to the hotel and she didn't put up much of a fight – in fact, there was no fight at all. She really was enjoying being with him and she didn't want that to end. They strolled through the streets of DC without saying much. Josh had his arm around her shoulders and she placed an arm around his waist.

When they reached the hotel, they walked through the doors just as they had walked through the streets – arm in arm. She knew that there were going to be people from her campaign the lobby, but she just didn't care at this point. "Screw appearances" she thought to herself, "I had a fabulous time tonight with this man and I don't really care who knows it!" She did look around enough to see Will across the lobby with Kate. He looked at her long enough to smile, nod his head and he returned his attention to Kate. "Well", she thought, "if Will doesn't care, then screw the rest of them!"

Just as they were about to hit the elevators, Josh steered her into an alcove in the lobby. Suddenly, it was just the two of them and someone would have to walk right up to them to see what they were up to. She got a little light headed when she realized that. He leaned his back into one of the corners and put both arms around her waist and pulled her into him until their faces were mere inches apart. She placed her hands on his shoulders and smiled.

"Donna, can I ask you something" he said quietly.

"Anything, Joshua, you can ask me anything!"

"I wanted to ask you about the song."

"What about it?"

"Well, umm…"

"Just spit it out Joshua!"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why is that one of your favorite songs?"

It was her turn to stammer for a moment. She thought about giving him a coy answer or lying or making a joke, but she took one look into his eyes and decided "what the hell!"

"It reminds me of you."

He smiled. "How so?"

"Well, Joshua, if you must know, it's like someone read your life story and decided to write a song about you." She could feel the blush coming over her face. She looked down a the floor.

"So, is that how you think of me – that I'm a beautiful disaster?"

"Josh, it's not a bad thing. In fact, I consider it a great thing, a fantastic complement!" She looked back into his eyes and say that he was smiling, far from mad or disappointed, which is what she was expecting when she looked back at him.

"Donnatella, that's how I took it."

"What?"

"I took it as a compliment."

"Thank God! Cause, I swear Josh that is how I mean it. After everything that you have been through – yeah, there have been disasters, but they have made you into the beautiful person that I think you are. I respect and admire and love the person you are…"

And before she could finish the thought, his lips were on hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck as the kiss moved from being sweet and chaste to something that was definitely more passionate, a kiss filled with promise. She could feel that this was going to be the first of many kisses like this.

After what seemed like several minutes, they pulled apart enough for each to get air. She laughed a bit at how he looked.

"That's a fabulous shade for you Josh!"

"Yeah, you should see yourself as well!"

She used her thumb to wipe the lipstick off his face as he did the same for her. He pulled her in and held her tightly, like he was holding on for dear life. He then let out a huge sigh and pulled back. He tucked stray piece of hair behind her ear and started talking.

"Donna, Donna, Donna."

"Oh god, this isn't going to be good it is!"

"Donna, believe me when I say that all this is has been good, great, stupendous…"

"Finally, proof of the 760 verbal."

"Funny. And as much as I would like to continue this upstairs in your room, it's just…."

"Shitty timing."

"Exactly."

"Joshua, I know."

He seemed surprised. "Really. You aren't upset!"

"Well, I mean, I would also really like to continue this upstairs in my room as well, but I know we can't – at least not at this point."

He moved his hands and cupped her face. "I would also like to add that I also love the person that you are."

"You heard that, huh!"

"I hear everything you ever say Donnatella."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Damn the shitty timing."

"Donnatella, I will be forever grateful for this evening and dinner and the dance and the fantastic kissing. It's definitely going to help me get though till…."

"Till when?"

"The Convention!"

Then she knew, she understood where he was going and she was all for jumping on board!

"Ah, yes, the Convention!"

"Yes Donnatella, the Convention! At that point, all the craziness will be over and Santos will be the nominee up there making his acceptance speech…"

"You mean Russell, right?"

He swiftly moved his hands from her face and pinched both of her sides at the same time. She squealed and giggled a bit as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, once the speech is over and everything is set…."

"Yes?"

"I'll come find you and bring you back to the beautiful and romantic suite I will have reserved for us, the suite that will be filled with flowers and lit only be candles and…."

"Yes" she whispered as she kissed his neck.

"We will definitely, definitely, definitely, pick back up on what we started her tonight. And believe, there will be a lot more squealing and giggling – that was really hot!"

She laughed and looked him in the eye. "That is a plan I can definitely get on board with!"

"Fantastic! That will give you something to think about, but, if we happen to run into each other on the campaign trail and some heavy kissing happens between us before the Convention…"

"Then so be it!" It was his turn to laugh now.

"That's my girl!"

They smiled at each other for a moment. She knew that one of them was going to have to be the adult and break this embrace and she knew it wasn't going to be Joshua Lymon.

"Josh, I should really get upstairs now and you should go home and get some sleep."

"Yeah, but just one last thing…" and he leaned in for another deeply passionate kiss. When they broke apart for air, Josh released his hold on her and they walked back to the elevators. She pushed the up button and turned to look at him again.

"Donna?"

"Joshua!"

"Can I make one little request for the Convention?"

"Name it."

He leaned in and whispered in her ear "Sexy lingerie."

She smiled at him. "Oh, I think that can definitely be arranged!"

"Fantastic. That's exactly what I wanted to hear!"

The elevator doors opened and she stepped in to keep the doors from closing.

"Until the Convention Joshua."

"Until the Convention Donnatella" and he grabbed both hands and placed a kiss on top of each and let her go. "Sweet dreams my dear!"

She walked back into the elevator and leaned back against the back wall and just starred at him. As the doors closed, he blew a kiss at her and then, he was gone.

She hummed to herself as she walked down to her room. He's definitely beautiful, her beautiful disaster. The countdown to the Democratic National Convention had begun!

The End

Song lyrics to Kelly Clarkson's "Beautiful Disaster" available all over the Internet, including