disclamor: i own none of this you all know who does
The Weasleys (I was thinking about the simpsons when this came to
mind, despite that it has absolutely nothing to do with the
simpsons).
"You know Hermione, we can never be anything more then what we are
today."
"Right, because of your celibacy vow."
"No, because you are my sister."
"Only because your Dad electrocuted my parents!" she exclaimed
hotly.
"Relax Hermione, that was an accident. Dad hadn't meant to, you
know that, then they adopted you, wasn't that lovely of them!"
"Yeah sure, Ron, least they could do after electrocuting my Mum and
Dad. No wonder they never seemed right at the station, bloody
cardboard cutouts waving at me!"
"Now, now Hermione relax."
"I'm back!" Harry exclaimed beaming at his friends, though faltered
on seeing Hermione's expression.
"Don't be angry with me. I'm sorry, I'll tell you next time I go,"
Harry apologized near tears.
"You left?" Ron and Hermione asked, bemused.
"Yeah, I just destroyed five horcruxes!"
"In the past fifteen minutes?"
"Yeah."
"But I thought all three of us were brain dead idiots?"
"No, that's Ron."
"Ron shrugged and nodded.
"Then what are we?"
"Well, I decided to use your advice from fifth year and use my
noggin and I found yours as well. You see, The Quibbler was right,
Draco Malfoy stole our brains! Luna and Neville helped me get them
back in exchange for Ginny's operation."
"Thanks for that, Harry," a deep voice said behind him, which was
Ginny, well Tommy now.
Ginny/Tommy was sporting a goatee and mutton chops. "Mum wanted me
to tell you dinner's almost ready," and Ginny/Tommy left the room.
"Is that why Hermione's so angry today, she got her brain back and
can fully comprehend what happened to her parents?"
"'Fraid so, Ron."
"Whew, I was thinking I'd have to stun her right quick."
"Shut the bloody hell up, Ron! Did you tap into my brain for help
with the horcruxes before getting it back to me?"
"Yep, and those goats sure were happy to have their brains back!"
"Let's go eat, it smells great!" Ron exclaimed and the three friends
ran down to the Weasley's kitchen for dinner with Bill, Fluer,
Charlie, Fred, George, Tommy/Ginny, Mister Weasley and Mrs. Weasley
and the three of them: Ronaldo, Hermeena and Harriet the... whoops,
Ron Hermione and Harry sat down.
"G.. Tommy, what are your plans now that you have graduated?"
"I'm going to see my lover, Lordie V after dinner."
"Lordie V?" Bill asked, on his guard.
"Yes," Tommy/Ginny replied gruffly.
"Is that short for.. "
"Lord Voldemort?" Ginny/Tommy supplied.
"Your dating Lord Voldemort?"
"Yes."
"Are you saying the Deatheaters are a bunch of sex changed men and
women?"
"Only the inner circle."
"Are you in his inner circle?"
"Of course, he has been in my head since I was eleven!"
"So he's seeing everything right now."
"Of course," Former she, he laughed at them and as one, Molly,
Arthur, Bill, Fluer, Charlie, Fred, George and Ron Weasley, the
adopted through electrction daughter Hermione Granger and Harry
Potter all screamed "AVADA KEDAVRA" as one at the once sweet Ginevra
Weasley, now Tommy the Deatheater, Voldemort's lover dropped dead,
flying backwards from the number of curses.
The room for the moment was bathed in green light.. "He was a
bloody horcrux!" Ron exclaimed looking at his one time sister.
"How do we get the one in my scar out?" Harry asked aloud.
"We've got an idea!" Fred and George exclaimed, George pulling a
silly putty egg out of his pocket.
"Silly putty?" Hermione asked, "How in the bloody hell is that going
to work?"
"Watch and see, Hermione dear," the twins said in unison sing song
voices as Harry looked on warily, as the twins approached him.
"We don't think this will hurt," Fred told him.
"Much," added George.
"How comforting," Harry muttered.
As Fred pressed the silly putty down over Harry's scar. George
pressed newspaper over it.
"Ha ha, look at the news!"
After a few minutes of everyone reading the news printed on Harry's
putty encrusted forehead, Fred plunged it off of Harry's head, Yes,
with a plunger.
And out came a jagged, lighting bolt shaped piece of wood.
"It's James' wand!" Remus Lupin exclaimed, whom had popped in just
then. "Well, pieces of his wand. I always wondered what happened
to that!"
"But how did that wind up in my head?"
"Voldemort must have made a horcrux out of it and with his spell
backfiring your Dad's wand became the basis for your scar!"
"Okay," Harry shrugged, "Will someone please stop the bleeding?"
Hermione quickly healed his forehead with a muttered charm and swipe
of her wand over his forehead."
"Thanks Hermione."
Lord Voldemort apparated in, "Why? Why? Why did you kill my
Tommy? I'm going to kill you, I'm going to kill you all!" Then Lord
Voldemort saw Ginny/Tommy sprawled by the table.
"Why did you name her after your hated muggle name?"
"Shut up, POTTER! YOU KILLED MY SPY!"
"NO!" Harry grabbed the plunger and plunged and plunged and plunged
until Hermione said, "HARRY! STOP IT, He's been dead for the past
half hour."
And Harry collapsed into she and Ron's arms.
And the three and the living people in the house went into the
sitting room.
"Is now a bad time to tell you I got married?" Ron asked them all.
"To who?"
"Remember that friend of Remus' who fought with us last year?"
"She's a werewolf, Ron."
"I know, so am I."
"So that's why you disappear during the full moon."
"Sure is, now I'm off, bye bye," and Ron apparated away.
"Yeah, I'm off to my long standing appointment with a therapist now
that Voldemort's dead," Hermione told them.
"And I'm going to bed," Harry said before going up to his cot in
Ron's well former room bow and laid down to sleep.
-the end-
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