Disclaimer: I don't own BeastMaster or any of its characters, but Dame Ursula
and Bethaine are all mine.
(Author's note - I love acronyms!)
There once was a very pretty girl named Dame Ursula Morgana Brittany Aphrodite
Selena Smith XIV, who was very pretty. She was so pretty that everyone loved
and adored her. They kissed her feet and worshipped the ground she walked on,
she was so pretty. She was so pretty that the King and Queen of the fair land
decided to adopt her as their heir. But Ursula, already having been risen to
the level of Dame, refused to accept the crown on the grounds that it would
mess up her perfect hair. This angered her royal family, who immediately
disowned her and banished her from the kingdom.
Dame Ursula traveled for many miles until she came to a place called the
Mydlands. She decided that even though she wasn't dirty (princesses never got
dirty, even princesses that had only been princesses for about thirty seconds)
she would take a few minutes to bathe in the hot spring she had just stumbled
upon.
Hanging her pale pink satin gown (which was almost as pretty as she was) on a
nearby bush, Dame Ursula stepped delicately into the steaming water and dipped
her hair in the water, washing her hair with the shampoo she'd made using
various berries from the forest.
She was just getting out of the water and reaching for her dress when a
kangaroo (well, it *was* filmed in Australia) hopped up, grabbed the
dress, and hopped away.
Suddenly, a bare-chested Tao ran up, tripped on a tree root, and fell into
Dame Ursula's naked arms.
"Hi," he squeaked, making an effort to free himself, though not a very big
one. "I'm Tao."
"I'm Ursula Morgana Brittany Aphrodite Selena Smith XIV," she said as she
pushed him away playfully. "*Dame* Ursula Morgana Brittany Aphrodite
Selena Smith XIV. But you can call me Dame Ursula."
While Dame Ursula was busy preening, Dar sulked by, holding a giant palm frond
where his loincloth used to be. He was muttering under his breath. Dame
Ursula caught the words "…damn kangaroo…" and snickered. Okay, so she didn't
really *snicker*, as the word alone is undignified to a princess (even
a princess that had only been a princess for about thirty seconds). It was
really more of a refined giggle that filled the air with the sound of tinkling
bells. The purity of her beautiful voice brought all the woodland creatures
out of hiding, and suddenly the area was swarming with bluebirds and little
pink bunnies.
Then Voden woke up.
"I must find this beautiful woman," he thought. "I know she is real, and my
life won't be complete without her by my side."
He saddled his horse and prepared to ride off.
"Where are you going?" asked Bethaine, Voden's residential sorceress.
Actually, she was so inept a sorceress that the Ancient One had banished her
to Earth, where she had immediately (immediately, of course, being relative to
Bethaine's immortality) fallen madly in love with Voden. Voden only thought
of Bethaine as a bothersome pest.
"I'm going out to find my true love," he answered.
Bethaine's eyes filled with tears in the classic anime style, and she wailed,
"But I thought I was your true love…"
But Voden was already gone.
To be continued...
Wow! I actually finished the first chapter! Feedback would be appreciated,
and, yes, the bad grammar was intentional (in places, anyway ~_~) BTW,
there's more to come with the kangaroo ;)
And special thanks to Pianogirl and Crumpet for the inspiration (Crumpet,
you'll always be Bethaine) *ducks as Crumpet aims her wand*