A/N: I've been working on this off and on for quite a while now. After last week's previews however I felt I needed to get it finished and post before airtime this week or I probably never would. I'm hoping the rating is okay. If you think it should be stronger let me know-if I get quite a few people saying that it should be I'll up it. It's just that even though there's a "sex" scene it's not very graphic at all so...
Anyway-A little bit of a story-a lot of fluff. Reviews are always appreciated.
Sixteen Years
As usual she started shedding the job the minute she walked through the door. She tugged the badge from her belt and pulled the Glock out of the holster she had strapped to her thigh as she made her way to the safe installed in the front closet. Once there she pulled the clip from the gun and tossed all three inside before bending down and unstrapping the ankle holster from beneath the hem of her jeans. She took the gun out and emptied the chamber, placing the bullets, gun, and holster beside the other items in the safe before locking it with a spin of the wheel. As she walked through the empty foyer she felt a momentary yearning for years past when the kids would come running for hugs and kisses as soon as she got home. They were growing up way too fast, she reflected. Now days she had to search them out if she wanted to see them before dinner.
She was a bit surprised at the lack of activity in the kitchen as she passed through, heading towards the sounds emanating from the family room. By this hour Rick was usually surrounded by a copious amount of pots and pans and foods and spills as he prepared dinner. Hopefully, she thought, he'd managed to work through the case of writer's block he'd been experiencing and had lost track of time because he was engrossed in writing the next chapter of his book. Or maybe, she smiled, hearing a rapid blast of X-Box generated gunfire, he'd lost track of time because he was playing war games. When she entered the room however, only twelve year old Storm was perched on the sofa in front of the large screen television. She watched as her eldest twisted and jerked, moving his body as if he was actually engaged in the on screen battle. She noticed that his hair was slightly too long, and made a mental note to set up an appointment for a cut. He'd inherited her hair and hated it when the waves became long enough to curl along his collar. He may have gotten her hair, Kate thought as she continued to observe her son, but his eyes were strictly Rick's, bright blue complete with mischievous twinkle. He'd also gotten Rick's love of play but combined it with her intensity which sometimes made him scarily competitive.
As she crossed the room she paused for a moment to ruffle his hair and place a quick kiss on the top of his head.
"Moooom…" He groused, relinquishing the controller with one hand long enough to brush at his hair with his fingers; she wasn't sure if he was trying to get his hair back in place or if he was wiping away her kiss. It was probably a little bit of both, she decided.
"Homework?"
"All done." He responded, not taking his eyes off of the screen.
"Soccer tomorrow?"
"Three o'clock," he said automatically, then with actual interest, "Can you come?"
"If we don't catch a new case. If I can't make it I'll text you and Dad will video the entire game."
"Think Espo and Ryan can come?"
"I'll check." Kate told him with a grin, knowing he especially enjoyed it when they could stop by.
"Do I have to go?" Skylar asked with a slight frown from where she sat curled up with a book in the window seat.
Kate walked over and sat on the cushion next to her ten year old daughter. "'Fraid so sweetie," she responded brushing a few wayward strands of dark hair behind her daughter's ear before placing a kiss on her forehead. "If Grams was here instead of in the Hamptons you could stay with her, but I'm not comfortable with you staying home alone yet."
Skylar sighed heavily but said nothing and Kate wished, not for the first time, that her youngest would protest, talk back, or throw a tantrum, but knew it wasn't Skylar's way. She was a throwback, this youngest child of theirs; quiet, studious, and shy. She was an island of calm in their chaotic, boisterous household. Her personality was a lot, Kate reflected, like her own father, Jim. In looks however, she was Johanna Beckett reborn. Kate had noticed the resemblance when Skylar was only a few months old but as the girl had grown the similarity had become more and more striking. Now Kate was sometimes startled when she walked in a room and Skylar's presence caught her unaware. It was as if she were looking at a ghost. Thinking about her Mom and Dad, though, gave Kate an idea.
"How about I call your granddad?" She asked Skylar. "I can't promise anything, but if he's free maybe you could spend the afternoon with him."
"That would be great," Skylar nodded with appreciation.
"I bet he'd love to take you to the museum, or the zoo, or the library and you could probably even talk him to ice cream afterwards," Kate confided and Skylar grinned at the thought of an afternoon with her Granddad. Watching her face Kate was astounded once again how her mother's face could produce a smile that was an exact replica of Rick's.
"Homework?" She asked Skylar; but it was only for forms sake as Skylar, unlike Storm, was very diligent where her school work was concerned.
"I'm done too." Skylar responded.
"And that?" Kate asked, gesturing toward the worn book Skylar held.
"Purely for fun," she smiled.
Kate cocked her head in order to read the title. "Jane Eyre. That was one of my favorites." She offered, "But I have to admit I was a bit older than you when I first read it."
"Ms. Conrad said she didn't think I'd have any problem with it," Skylar said with a little frown of concern.
"I'm sure you won't," Kate soothed, knowing it was true. Skylar had both her mother and her father's love of books and had devoured every book in sight since she was very young. She'd started reading at the age of three, much to Kate's amazement, and was now well beyond the reading level of the average fifth grader."
"So where's your Dad?" Kate asked both children as she stood.
Skylar shrugged her shoulders and Storm mumbled, "I don't know," as he fired another round of gunfire into oncoming forces.
"In his office?" Kate prompted, unsure if Storm really didn't know or was too distracted to answer.
"Maybe." Storm allowed, and then added, "He's acting weird."
"Weird? What do you mean?"
"I don't know," Storm replied, still concentrating on the game in front of him. "You know weird, strange; but not the usual Dad kind of weird. He's all serious and quiet. Not like Dad at all."
Concerned, Kate went in search of Rick and found him, as she'd anticipated, in his office. Instead of typing furiously, lost in some story his mind had conjured however, he sat in his chair, holding "Casino Royale", staring blankly at the book his father had sent to him after they'd last met sixteen years ago.
"Rick?" she asked walking over and hopping up onto the desk to sit in front of him. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Rick replied, still lost; it seemed, in his own thoughts.
"Rick, please. Talk to me." She said gently, and though the words seemed common place, they were in fact, very specific words the two used to remind one another of the need for communication, an issue that had caused them trouble constantly at the beginning of their relationship.
Rick looked up at her then and she could see the anxiety in his eyes, "It hasn't come today."
"There is still time Rick, the day's not over yet," she replied softly, knowing exactly what he was referring to.
"I know, but… Every other year, on the anniversary of Alexis' kidnapping, he sends the next book, just to let me know he's okay. This is the only time I haven't gotten it in the morning."
"He could have gotten delayed. I mean, with his job, it can't always be easy to just drop everything. Maybe he's on an assignment and can't get away."
"You think?" Rick asked, looking at her with just a glimmer of hope.
"I would bet on it," Kate replied, lowering herself from the desk and stepping forward to crawl into Rick's lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm surprised actually, that he's managed to do it for as long as he has."
Rick sighed and wrapped his arms around Kate's waist, pulling her close. She obliged, leaning into his chest and resting her head on his shoulder. "You're probably right," Rick conceded. "I just…worry."
"I know," Kate acknowledged, her fingers feathering through the hair just above the nape of his neck. "If it doesn't show up by the end of the week maybe you could give your guy in the CIA a call. I know you haven't wanted to take advantage but under the circumstances maybe he could at least give you a status report."
"You think he would?"
"I'm sure he would try." Kate hedged. "If that doesn't work we'll think of something else."
"Okay." Rick agreed, relaxing slightly and giving Kate a grateful smile.
"So," Kate asked, "what do you want for dinner?"
"Dinner," Rick grimaced, "Oh, yeah. Sorry, I kind of forgot about that."
"No need to be sorry," Kate assured, giving him a quick kiss, "We'll just order…"
"Anyone home?" Alexis' voice rang out from the foyer.
"In the office." Rick called back and seconds later his daughter appeared in the doorway. Seeing the two cuddled together she just shook her head and grinned.
"Seriously guys? After all these years and two kids, and you still act like newlyweds? When are you finally going to start acting like the old married couple you are?" Alexis teased, taking a seat in the chair in front of the desk.
"Never!" Rick declared with flair, and some indistinct accent, then proceeded to plant a series of big sloppy kisses on Kate's face and neck making both women laugh with his theatrics.
"You forget, young lady," Rick continued with mock seriousness, "unlike you and Britton, it took us a while to make our way to each other. We've got lots of lost time to make up for."
"As long as you don't "make up for lost time" too explicitly in front of us kids," she continued to tease.
"This isn't explicit," Rick contended.
"True, I've definitely seen worse," Alexis acknowledged with a roll of her eyes and a smirk; but the smirk turned into a grimace when she immediately realized what she'd said.
The room became unnaturally quiet. Kate and Alexis blushed scarlet and Rick's cheeks bloomed pink; as the teasing comment unintentionally invoked a memory from long ago. Even though it had been almost fifteen years ago a reminder of the event had the power to embarrass all three. It had occurred shortly after she and Rick had become engaged, Kate recalled. Rick had been away for nearly two weeks on a publicity junket that he was contractually obligated to honor. He had called her the minute he'd returned to the loft, supposedly to inform her of his safe arrival. It had been a long two weeks however, for both of them. She, Esposito, and Ryan had just closed their latest case and the only thing occupying their time was a desk full of paperwork. When Rick had suggested "lunch" Kate had jumped at the excuse. After informing the guys she was going out to get a bite to eat she had rushed out of the precinct without a second thought to the grins plastered on the faces of Ryan and Esposito. She'd barely made it inside the front door before Rick had her back against the wall and they were practically devouring each other. They managed to make it to the sofa, scattering clothing as they went; and only minutes after she'd stepped inside she was straddling Rick's reclining form and lowering herself onto him as they both groaned in the relieved desire to be as close to one another as possible. They were so involved in each other; fingers racing over supple skin, breasts melding to sweat slickened chest, lips and tongues tasting what had been so recently denied that they never heard the keys rattling in the lock.
For her part Alexis had gotten fed up with waiting for the washers and dryers in the dorm and had decided to take her laundry home to use the facilities there. In the meantime, she'd thought she could raid the refrigerator and pick up a jacket and a book she'd been meaning to retrieve. As she strode up to the front door; ear buds blasting, overstuffed duffle bag thrown over one shoulder it never occurred to Alexis that Kate and her Dad might be enjoying some "alone time". At one thirty in the afternoon Kate would be at the precinct and her Dad would probably be with her. Of course, with him, there was always the possibility that he'd taken the day off from real life homicide to indulge in fictional murder and mayhem, but Kate was always at work this time of day.
Alexis stepped inside, closing the door behind her, and froze in shock and mortification. For several seconds she couldn't move her feet, couldn't avert her eyes, but unfortunately the paralysis didn't extend to her vocal cords. An exclamation of dismay seeped past her lips and alerted the two other people in the room to her presence. For a moment, which seemed like a lifetime, the two on the sofa stared at the girl in the doorway, who in turn was staring at them. Finally Alexis came to her senses and after a slight shake of her head, turned and fled the loft.
The interruption destroyed any desire for sex that either of them had before Alexis had arrived. Rick was understandably horrified. Regardless of the number of women he'd slept with over the years he had always been discreet in terms of allowing it to touch his daughter. He couldn't believe he'd let himself get so carried away that…. But then Alexis wasn't at the loft all that much anymore and he hadn't exactly expected her to come by this afternoon.
Kate couldn't remember ever being more embarrassed than she was at that moment. Almost in a daze, she disengaged herself from Rick and padded to the bedroom to get her robe. While there she snagged a pair of lounge pants for Rick and tossed them to him when she made her way back to the sofa. Rick pulled on the pants and they sat there, unable to even look at each other for a few moments. Finally Kate hesitantly spoke, "From the position we were in… From where she was standing… I just… I doubt you were particularly visible."
"She couldn't miss what was going on though."
"No, there was no mistaking it. But, she's an adult Rick. I mean, I'm sure she knew we were having sex."
"Yeah, but knowing and seeing are two different things."
"Yeah," Kate agreed immediately with a grimace.
"And you…."
"Yeah," Kate acknowledged as her face flamed anew. She knew the back of the sofa had shielded most of Rick from Alexis' eyes but she had been fairly exposed and both of them knew it.
Two weeks later they still had not heard from Alexis, and even though Kate had suggested it several times, Rick couldn't bring himself to make first contact. After three weeks Kate realized that neither Rick nor Alexis was going to make the first move and that if it was going to be done anytime soon she was going to have to be the one to do it. She fought back her own embarrassment and sent Alexis a text asking the younger woman to meet her for lunch, adding that she thought the longer they all put off seeing each other the more difficult it would be when they did. It took eighteen hours and twenty-two minutes but Alexis finally returned Kate's text with a sparse one of her own. It merely said "1:30 2morrow – Remy's". Kate confirmed and only then began to wonder what she could say to help reduce the discomfort they all felt or, if in fact, there was anything that could be said that would accomplish that goal.
Kate arrived at Remy's promptly at 1:30 to find Alexis already seated. The two barely glanced at one another when Kate said "hi" as she slid into a chair opposite Alexis. They then managed to divert themselves by giving their full attention to the menu which both of them could probably replicate given half a chance. Once the waitress had taken their order though, trying to avoid looking at each other became more than a little awkward with no excuses to hide behind. Finally, with her face flaming, Kate swallowed her embarrassment and blurted out, "Alexis we are so sorry. That never…"
"I'm sorry, I should…" Alexis exclaimed at the same time.
They both stopped, looking at each other, really for the first time since Kate had walked into the restaurant, and shared a small awkward smile. That one moment recognized the embarrassment they all felt, the fact that they'd each made errors in judgment that had led to the situation, and their mutual desire to move past the incident.
But moving forward was sometimes difficult and often uncomfortable, especially at first. But the more interaction they had with one another the easier it became. It helped that at that first meeting Alexis acknowledged that the only exposure she'd had to her father had been his face over the back of the sofa after he and Kate had realized she was in the room. The two women never spoke of how much of Kate's body had been revealed to Alexis because both of them knew it was more than either of them were comfortable with. Also, even though she couldn't help but be mortified, Kate realized that it was much less distressing for Alexis to witness Kate's nudity than her own fathers. And strangely enough, as disturbing as the event was, working though it together eventually brought them closer than they may have otherwise been.
Now it was only in infrequent and unintentional moments such as this that the lingering affects made themselves known and they usually passed quickly. This time it was Rick who maneuvered them over the rough terrain by resuming their conversation.
"We were just getting ready to order some dinner; you want to stay?" He asked Alexis.
"Sure," Alexis agreed easily.
"What about Britton?" Rick questioned.
"He's on call tonight so he's staying at the hospital."
Rick glanced at the clock on the wall and tried not to grin, "You know, if a person wanted to mooch a meal with her family, now would be the perfect time to stop by."
Alexis rolled her eyes to look up at the ceiling and pretended innocence, "I concede that if one was trying to mooch a meal 'now' would be a good time to stop by. However," she continued turning serious, "I also have a very legitimate reason for stopping by."
"What's up?" asked Kate.
"I need to talk to you for a minute about a case that got dumped in my lap this afternoon."
"Go." Rick shooed them into the great room with a wave of his hand, "I'll call into Hong's and order our usual."
As Rick punched in the number he'd had memorized for years, the two women made their way to the kitchen area, Alexis pulling down several wine glasses while Kate retrieved the wine.
"So, what's the case?" Kate asked.
"Maxwell case," Alexis replied. "Looks like it came through the twelfth about sixteen months ago."
Kate stopped; wine bottle slightly tilted over a glass, as she searched her memory for the case Alexis was referring to. "Maxwell," she nodded her head slowly and began to fill glasses as the details of the case gradually came to mind. "Seventeen year old, blonde, killed his father," she said.
"That's the one," Alexis confirmed.
"How did you end up with that case; and just today?" Kate asked.
"Well, Murphy Logan was his lawyer…"
"Seriously?" Kate asked, her wide eyed stare capturing Alexis' gaze. "The Murphy Logan that was killed by a car bomb last week?"
"The one and only." Alexis agreed. "So, his cases got doled out and I ended up with Maxwell," she went on to explain. "The only problem is, he must have had all of the Maxwell paperwork with him because we can't find it anywhere, not his office or his apartment. I can get the hearing transcripts and court filings from copies of the court records but I don't have any of the arrest reports, witness statements… So when I saw that you were the arresting officer I just figured it would be faster and less hassle to come directly to you than go through all of the red tape of filling out the request forms and having them sent over."
"Definitely faster. And yeah, I can get you copies of our reports. I'll e-mail the entire folder over to you first thing tomorrow morning," Kate offered, handing Alexis a glass of wine as she took a sip of her own. "So," Kate changed the subject, "How are you doing?"
Alexis met her eyes, knowing exactly what Kate was referring to, and gave her a small smile, "I'm doing okay."
"Really?"
"Yeah, pretty much. I did use the case as a reason to stop by though. Not for dinner, although that is a nice addition, but Britton wasn't going to be home and I really didn't feel like spending the entire evening alone."
"First of all, you never need an excuse to stop by. No matter how old you get, married or not, this is your home."
Alexis grinned at Kate's fierce tone. She and Kate had gotten along well, even before Kate had married Rick, and since, had actually become quite close as friends, but Kate had never attempted to be a mother figure. Both of them had known it would have been ridiculous given Alexis' age and the fact that she already had a mother, albeit a mostly absent one. But since Storm and Skylar had come along Kate would sometimes unconsciously take this "motherly" tone with her. It didn't make her angry, actually it had the opposite effect, she found she quite enjoyed it. It made her feel cared for and loved; and it seemed she never got too old to appreciate that.
"Secondly," Kate went on, totally unaware of Alexis' thoughts, "why don't you stay over? You've got some of your old clothes in the guest room. That way you won't be alone tonight and it'll probably be good for your Dad too."
"He's having a hard time with it this year?" Alexis asked, immediately concerned. She knew, from her own experience, that some years were worse than others.
"Yeah," Kate admitted reluctantly. "More so than ever." She paused for moment, and then continued. "The book hasn't come yet so, he's worried."
"Should he be?"
"I don't know," Kate confided, "It could be just like I told your Dad, that his father just didn't have a chance to drop it in the mail in time for it to reach him today. But the man is in a dangerous line of work and…well he's not a young man any longer. And we have no idea what his health is like. I don't know Alexis," Kate shrugged, "there are a lot of possibilities."
"Hopefully…"
"Dinner will be here in fifteen minutes," Rick interrupted as he joined them, and then grinned, "Though it looks as if the two of you have already gotten started on the beverage portion of the evening."
"Poured you one too," Kate said as she passed Rick his wine before filling two glasses with ice and water for the kids.
"Kate offered me the guest room for the night," Alexis informed her father, "if that's okay with you?"
"Always." Rick smiled, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her in close. If his grip was a little tighter, if he pulled her in just a bit closer, and if the hug continued just a little longer than usual tonight, well, no one mentioned it.
/
She felt him slip up behind her rather than heard him. The scent of him, the heat that emanated off of his body, that she could feel it even before he snuggled in close and wrapped his arms around her waist, his fingers splaying across her stomach and whispering over the jut of bone at her hip. She continued to fold the soccer uniform that she'd just pulled out of the dryer, but relaxed her upper body so that her back rested against his chest even as she stacked each folded piece of cloth atop the dryer.
"They tucked in?" She asked.
"Pretty much," Rick confirmed breathing in her scent, just happy with the feel of her in his arms. "Alexis had the door closed but the light was on so she's probably working. Skylar was brushing her teeth, and Storm could barely open his eyes to respond when I poked my head in to say goodnight." He paused for a moment, watching her nimble fingers as they expertly rolled the soccer socks into a slightly misshapen ball. "I know what you were trying to do, you know," he said softly.
"What I was trying to do?" Kate repeated innocently.
"Yeah, with that family game of laser tag. You were hoping it would take my mind off of the situation with my Dad."
She turned in his arms and reached up to wrap her arms loosely around his neck. "I was hoping it would distract you for a little while at least, get you to relax just a bit, but it really didn't work did it?" She paused for a second and frowned in mock disappointment. "She beat you Rick. Skylar actually killed you."
Rick's face lit up with grin of delight. "I know, but did you see her face! She was so excited."
"I don't know why," Kate muttered dryly, "she beats me quite often."
"She's not three anymore Kate," Rick said with a grin, "She knows you let her kill you. You and I both know, and so do the kids now, that if I hadn't had your laser gun modified to only kill if you are less than two feet from your victim you'd win every time we played."
"I'm not so sure," Kate returned with a hint of a frown. "Storm has gotten really good. I think he could score higher than half the guys on the force if we took him to the firing range, and he's gotten eerily good in sneaking up on people too."
"You're worried."
"A bit."
"There's not a thing wrong with wanting to be a cop."
"No, there's not. It's just… I guess I understand now how my father felt when I announced my intention to join the force. It's not that any career is completely safe, but to think of your child out there putting his life on the line everyday…it scary. And I don't think I'll feel any different when he's twenty-two rather than twelve."
"It's not so very different," Rick said seriously, "how you feel when your wife goes out and does the same."
Kate gave him an empathetic little smile, "I know," she said. "Thank you."
They'd had this conversation many times over the years. Not that Rick really wanted her to do anything else. He knew she was doing what she was meant to do. He just wanted her to know how much he worried when he couldn't be there. He wanted her to be as cautious as possible, to keep herself safe for him and the kids. Tonight though, when she responded to him, there was something in her eyes, something he hadn't seen before.
"Kate?"
"Mmmmm?"
"What is it?"
"Nothing."
"Kate, please. Talk to me."
"I will, but after I check on the kids. I promise." She added, seeing his eyes cloud with a measure of doubt. "And don't worry, it's nothing bad. In fact, I expect you might be rather pleased. Now," she said placing a quick kiss on his lips then turning to pick up the small stack of clothes, "I'm going up for goodnight kisses."
"I'll lock up," Rick said agreeably, reaching over to flip the switch on the laundry room light.
/
Upstairs, Kate tapped on Alexis' door, and after a quiet invitation, poked her head in to say goodnight. Rick had been right, Alexis was ensconced in the middle of the bed surrounded by heavy law books, papers, and folders.
"I just wanted to say goodnight." Kate said.
"Goodnight." Alexis responded with a smile.
Kate started to close the door, hesitated, then peeked back in again. "Look, if you have any trouble sleeping just tap on our door. One or both of us will be glad to keep you company."
"Thanks," Alexis smiled again. "I don't think it'll be a problem. I'm exhausted, to tell the truth. I'm just about to pack all of this in and go to bed myself, but I'll stop by if I have a problem."
"Good." Kate replied, relieved. "Good night again."
"Night." Alexis repeated just before Kate closed the door.
Kate found Storm sleeping soundly. She shoved the handful of clothes she carried into his soccer duffle, quickly checking for shin guards, cleats, and mouth guard. At twelve, they had told Storm he was responsible for packing his own bag, that they'd put in the clean clothes if need be, but he was to take care of the rest. Kate had learned relatively quickly though that it was much easier to check behind him than to get a frantic phone call asking if she could stop and pick up shin guards twenty minutes before the game was due to start. With that done she turned to her son and pulled the rumpled blanket he'd kicked to the foot of the bed back into place. She smiled as she looked at his face, appearing younger than his twelve years in sleep. Wistfully she recalled rocking him as a baby, singing a lullaby as sleep pulled heavily at his eye lids. Then she remembered dirty diapers and hours of colicky crying and the momentary sentimentality passed. She bent down, placed a kiss on the top of his head, this time, with him asleep, it stayed firmly in place, and she made second mental note to call for a hair appointment.
Skylar didn't even look up when Kate reached her doorway, so Kate leaned against the frame and crossed her arms, "Skylar Beckett Castle," she said in what was a gentle reprimanded laced with resigned amusement.
"Please Mom?" Skylar entreated wearing Rick's beseeching smile. "Just 'til I reach the end of the chapter?"
Kate reached out her hand and Skylar passed her the book. This had become a nightly ritual. Kate knew if she said no Skylar would lay the book aside and snuggle down to sleep, but going to bed a few minutes later didn't seem to affect her in any way and really, how could you refused a child wanting to read a book? Kate searched the pages to the right of where Skylar had stopped and found the chapters end some twenty pages beyond. She scanned the final paragraphs and then skipped back a few of pages until she came to a natural break. She handed the book back to Skylar pointing out the break. "You can read to here," Kate allowed easily, then explained. "The chapter ends in a cliff hanger so if you read to the end you'll just want to skip ahead a little bit, and it's already ten."
"Thanks, Mom," Skylar replied turning back to her book. "Love you."
"Love you too sweetie," Kate responded giving her a hug and a kiss. "Don't forget the light," she added as she flipped the switch for the overhead, leaving Skylar and her book surrounded by the glow of the Disney Princess bedside lamp that Skylar had yet to declare herself too old for.
/
By the time Kate made it to their bedroom Rick had already stripped down to a pair of silky boxers, his typical sleepwear, and stood in front of the bathroom vanity brushing his teeth. She slipped in and he moved to the side as she grabbed her own toothbrush.
"They settled?" He asked around a mouth full of white foam.
"Storm is," she confirmed. "Alexis was working when I first went up but her light was off when I passed by just now." She began to brush her teeth, but continued as Rick spat and rinsed. "Skylar on the other hand," she continued around her own mouth full of bubbles, "was wide awake and ready to stay up 'till sunrise given half a chance, I suspect."
"So, how much longer did she get out of you tonight?" Rick grinned as he slipped his arms around her from behind and began to unbutton the bottom of her blouse. Kate finished up brushing and leaned over his arms to rinse and slip her toothbrush in the stand. "Knowing how quickly she reads only about five extra minutes. She's probably already turned off her light. But it's all your fault you know?"
"My fault?" Rick questioned as he slid her silky top down her arms and off.
"Yeah," Kate accused with a smirk, "If she didn't have your smile I'd have a much easier time telling her no."
"You tell me no often enough." Rick replied with a grin as he unclasped her bra.
Kate turned to him in confusion, "When do I tell you no?" She asked.
Rick laughed. "Your mind's in the gutter Kate. Not about that." He added softly, nuzzling her neck and ridding her of the black scrap of lace that served as a bra at the same time, "Never about that. No, it's more like 'No Rick, we can't have ice cream sundae's for dinner', 'No Rick, you and Storm are not playing dodge ball in the house'."
Kate grinned. "Oh that, yeah. But really, how could you expect my mind to be on anything other than sex at the moment, you've been undressing me since I walked in here." She declared as she stepped free of the yoga pants he'd just pushed past her hips.
"I didn't see you trying to stop…"Rick began but stopped as the buzz of the doorbell sounded throughout the loft. "Wonder who that could be, it's after ten. Think there's a dead body?"
"No," Kate replied, slipping back into the yoga pants and pulling a loose fitting t-shirt from the hamper to tug over her head. "The guys would have called, not just shown up at our door."
"Maybe they were close by." Rick responded as he pulled on his robe.
"Even so, they would have called. They wouldn't have risked the doorbell for fear of waking the kids." Kate declared as she made her way out of the bedroom and across the great room towards the foyer and the small arsenal in the closet, Rick following close behind her.
"Kate, really?" He asked when he realized she was going for her gun rather than the door. "Do you think that's necessary?"
"Rick when is the last time we had an unannounced visitor after ten o'clock on a weeknight?"
Rick thought about it and really couldn't remember so he acknowledged her statement with a look and she pulled out the Glock and slipped in the clip before moving to the side of the entrance, the gun pointed, ready and waiting for any eventuality. Rick peered through the peephole and released a breath he hadn't even been aware of holding. "It's okay Kate," he said, his voice and face both betraying his confusion. "It's my Da… It's my fath… It's agent Hunt or whatever his real name is."
Rick released the chain and turned the locks before opening the door but Kate held her position. Rick had only seen the man once and that had been sixteen years before, she wasn't sure Rick couldn't be fooled by someone made to look a lot like his father, but she relaxed a bit when Rick opened the door. The man on the other side was striking and the resemblance to Rick was evident. It wasn't as if she felt she was looking at an older version of Rick, the similarities weren't that remarkable. But there was something there, something in the eyes, the slant of the cheekbones, the bridge of the nose. She felt positive this was truly Rick's father, but still she held her position. The only thing she truly knew about this man was that he was capable of atrocities she really didn't want to contemplate and although from what Rick had told her she doubted he would employee them against his son she had no way to be positive.
"Da... Agent Hun… What should I call you?" Rick asked in confusion, so shocked he didn't even ask his father in.
"How about Hunt for now—we'll get to the truth of it shortly…if I can come in."
Rick pulled the door open a little wider and made room for Hunt to enter the room before closing and locking it behind them and leading the way into the living area. Kate followed, lowering her gun but not her guard, not yet.
As they sat, Hunt handed Rick a book size package bound in brown paper. "I thought I'd deliver this one in person son."
"But why…what…?" Rick's mind was still too shocked to formulate a logical thought much less a logical sentence.
"Kate," Hunt said easily, "I know don't feel you can believe me yet, but really there is no need for your gun—actually feel free to pat me down if you like. I don't have any weapons on me."
"From what I hear you're dangerous enough without them."
Hunt grinned at her, he liked her moxie. "True enough, or at least it was at one time. But I'm a little older these days, a little slower; I find that weapons are more necessary these days, an equalizer if you like. I can live with the gun, for a while, but it seems your husband is in a bit of shock, I thought maybe a glass of water or a sip of whiskey…"
"You have to admit," Kate said as she headed toward the bar, keeping her eye on Hunt, her gun in hand, as she fixed Rick a shot of whiskey, "this visit is a bit unexpected."
"But long overdue."
"What are you doing here?" Rick suddenly blurted out as Kate handed him the whiskey.
"You said before, when we met, that you had questions, you wanted to get to know me. I'm hoping that is still true."
"Yes, but you said we couldn't, that it was dangerous."
"And it was, at the time. I retired last year, or as far as most are concerned, I died. It took a few years to set that up, to make it believable, but I needed to do that if I wanted to make contact with you; with your mother. I needed to make as sure as possible that contacting you wouldn't put you or Kate or the kids in danger."
"But," Kate said, "You still can't be a hundred percent positive someone won't figure it out."
"You're right." Hunt agreed. "I set it up well—to the best of my ability—and if you've investigated me, like I think you have, you know I'm able to do quite a bit—but nothing is completely secure."
"Why now?" Rick asked, still having trouble articulating all the thoughts bombarding him.
"I couldn't get it completely set…"
"No," Rick interrupted. "Why so late at night—why not today when I was here alone."
"I knew it would be a shock. I thought…I guess I thought it would be easier for you if you had Kate here with you, even though I knew I'd have to pass her muster as well. I waited for the kids to go to bed. I didn't want to confuse them, didn't want you to have to introduce me if you decided you really didn't want to get to know me after all."
That one statement, more than anything else, gave Kate a reason to relax more than she had since he'd shown up at their door. He'd considered the kids well-being; that had to mean something.
"Rick," Hunt continued, "I know this is unforgivably late in coming, but really before now it was just impossible. It wasn't that I didn't want to know you, didn't want to be a father to you, it just would have been too dangerous for you and your mother. I'd love a chance to get to know you and your family now, but if you've decided you don't want this, that you had rather not have me in your life, I understand and will respect that."
"How did you set up your death?" asked Kate after a moment during which Rick just sat there staring at his father.
Hunt grinned. "You want to check it out?"
"Wouldn't you?" Kate returned.
Hunt smiled and nodded his head slowly. "I've heard you were good, have seen evidence of it myself. Loved the way you nailed that bastard Bracken, by the way. And yes, if I were you I would definitely check out my story." He looked her straight in the eye and said very seriously, "Check out a little explosion in Brussels about eighteen months ago. I think you'll find that I died there."
"Okay," Kate agreed.
"You'll find the evidence is pretty damning—shouldn't give anyone any reason to believe that it wasn't me that was killed. And I know you don't make a great deal about all of those commendations or all of the accolades you've received over the years but I also believe you're realistic enough to know how very good you are, if you can't find anything you'll realize that it's seriously unlikely that anyone else will either."
"What's your real name?" Rick blurted out once again, apropos of nothing pertaining to the ongoing conversation.
"My real name was Mitchell Stevenson, but the name I'm going by now is Daniel Logan." Hunt leaned forward in the chair, resting his elbows on his knees. He sighed deeply and fixed a heartfelt gaze on Castle. "Rick, I know this is a lot to take in. And I know," he turned to look at Kate for the next few words, "that you'll want to look into my story." He turned his gaze back to Rick, "You'll need a bit of time to do that and to figure out what you want to do. I've put my contact information in the front cover of that book," he said nodding at the package still covered in brown paper. "If you decide you want to get in touch, just give me a call, send me an e-mail, or even a letter if you want to go that route. If I don't hear from you I'll know you've decided that you either don't want any further contact or that you feel it is too risky. It's up to you." The older man pushed himself up to standing and turned to make his way to the door but after a couple of steps turned around. "Rick, like I said, I'll totally understand if you don't want to see me. I've never been a father to you and it's much too late in the game for you to need one now. I would like for us to be friends but realize that you might not want the same thing so… I just want to say that I've always been proud of you. You were a great kid and have become an even better man. You've made a wonderful life for yourself—incredible children, an extraordinary wife, and a remarkable group of friends and you seem genuinely happy. No father could ask for more for his kids. And you've done all of that on your own. I am glaringly aware that I don't deserve for you to even consider sharing that with me now."
Rick seemed glued to the spot in shock so Kate got up to escort Hunt to the door, gun still in hand but with the purpose of storing it properly rather than feeling as if it were needed. As they reached the door Hunt turned to her and spoke softly, "If you need to use your detective friends Esposito and Ryan and that lovely M.E. friend of yours to check me out feel free. I've got someone I trust completely looking in to anyone who may be delving into that explosion but I've given him the free and clear for you and Rick, and for your friends."
Kate merely nodded, her face completely unreadable. He decided she must be an extremely gifted poker player and found he'd love giving it a try one of these days if things turned in his favor.
"I'm glad you and Rick finally found your way to one another. I wasn't lying when I told him I was proud of him. I always was. But you…you tamed him; gave him that elusive "something" he'd been searching for for so long. I believe he did the same for you. Both of you are incredible, but together…well there's really no way to define how great you are together…or how great you are for one another."
"No need to butter me up Mr. Hunt…uh Logan," she corrected with a slight shake of her head. If this worked out it wouldn't do to forget the man's alias. "I've got nothing to do with this, the decision is completely Ricks." Kate's tone made it quite obvious that her words were meant to scold.
Hunt grinned. He really liked her, liked that asperity, her obvious care of Rick. "I'm just being honest." He replied. "Hopefully I'll see you again. I do care about Rick, a great deal. But as you said the decision is completely his. If I don't, you take care of each other okay?"
"We always have." She replied with a smile. He smiled in return and turned and made his way to the elevator as Kate closed and locked the door, the image of the solitary man staying with her as she stored her Glock for the second time that evening.
Kate made her way to the living room thinking she'd find Rick just as she left him but the room was empty. Concerned, she flipped the light switch and made her way to their bedroom. Rick had already crawled up under the covers but he was lying on his back with his hands clasped behind his head staring up at the ceiling. That far away look however was still in his eyes. Kate pulled off her clothes, throwing them across a chair for the time being, and slipped into one of Rick's old t-shirts before sliding in bed beside him. In the position he was in it was impossible to hold him like she wanted to; like she felt he needed to be held, so she tried a different track and mimicked his position. "Well…" she said, letting it linger in the air between them.
Rick was silent for so long Kate was about to give it another try but he beat her to it, "Yeah. Hell of a thing wasn't it? Him showing up like that."
"Sure was."
"You'll check out his story?"
"You want me to?"
"Yeah. If things aren't as secure as he seems to think, there's not really a decision to be made. I'm not putting the kids, you, and me, in danger just so he can satisfy some long denied need to play Daddy."
Kate didn't think that was Hunt's motivation but she kept the observation to herself. Rick had every reason to feel the anger he was experiencing. "Okay. It'll take me a little while to give it a good look through though, a couple of weeks at least."
Rick turned to face her, "You won't get into trouble looking into it? I mean it's not even related to anything you're working on."
Kate grinned. "You forget, I'm captain now, I can have my men investigate anything I want them to. Well, as long as we keep it quiet, don't step on any toes, and take care of all our other work."
That managed to get a small smile out of him and Kate reached over and pushed that constantly wayward lock of hair back off of his forehead. "You want to talk about it?"
"Not yet." Rick answered with a tiny shake of his head.
Kate let her hand drift down to cradle his jaw, her thumb caressing his cheek. "You know I'm here for you though—whatever you want to say—whenever. Or if you don't want to say anything at all."
His hand drifted up to mirror hers and his smile was soft but sincere. "I know, he murmured, then pulled her closer, "God, I love you."
"I love you too. So much," she agreed melding her body to his. Running her hand over his shoulder and then down his back, feeling the tension in his muscles, trying to sooth it away with her touch. She looked into his eyes, seeing the confusion, the turbulence, before he lowered his head and claimed her mouth with his. She opened to him without hesitation. He needed the familiar right now, something comfortable and reassuring and she was more than willing to give it to him.
/
The two weeks she thought the investigation into "agent Hunt" might take actually turned into six. Rick never asked how it was going or what she'd found out but the signs of tension he'd exhibited continuously since his father's visit made it obvious that it was not a matter that he'd forgotten. On the other hand, with all of the excitement of that evening he had evidently failed to remember the talk they'd intended on having. She, however, had not forgotten the matter but had not broached the subject with him yet either. He'd been too shocked and confused that night to introduce another major issue and, truth be known, he'd actually realized something was on her mind slightly before she been ready to discuss the matter, so the slight reprieve had been welcome. She'd been considering the matter time to time the past few months but since that night the thought had taken root and now it just felt right. She felt certain about it now where, even a month ago, she'd had some doubts.
So it was, a month and a half later, with the kids asleep, Rick massaging the ache out of her calves as they reclined on the sofa, and Coltrane playing in the background that she raised the first of two issues she needed to discuss with him.
"Rick?"
"Yeah?"
"Remember the night your father came by?" She felt his fingers hesitate in their ministrations for just a moment before continuing their task, albeit a little less gently than seconds before. "Remember how earlier that night you'd asked what I was thinking and I told you I'd tell you later?"
"I remember."
Kate looked up at him with the question clear in her expression.
Rick answered before she could give voice to it. "Actually, I forgot about it for a while; the shock of my Dad just showing up like that. But after a couple of days it came back to me. I think it was seeing you staring off into space so frequently that bought it to mind. But I could tell, just as you've been able to tell about me recently, that you weren't quite ready to discuss it yet."
"Yeah," she admitted. "I wanted to settle it in my own head before I talked to you. But I was going to that night, and I would have you know, if you'd asked again."
"I know. I take it you're ready now?"
"Yeah. How about you"? Are you ready to hear about your Dad now?"
It took Rick a minute but he finally nodded his head. "I guess so, putting it off isn't going to change anything. You first though."
"Okay." Kate hesitated, than began. "Well, I've been thinking lately…"
Rick chuckled, "Yeah…I thought we'd established that already."
Kate threw him a mock glare over her shoulder before continuing, "You know..I'll have my thirty years in come September and I'm thinking…maybe it's time for me to turn in my badge."
Again Rick's fingers stopped their foray over the skin of Kate's calf and he looked down at her, shock evident on his face. "What?"
Kate sat up and turned to him, crossing her legs in front of her on the couch. "I just feel like I'm missing so much now. It was different when the kids were younger. They'd come running when I walked in the door, eager to tell me about their day. We'd play, cuddle… Now, their world is expanding. Us…here…well I guess for right now that's still their center but they've got friends they want to be with, activities I can't attend if I'm working. I feel like they're growing up and away so fast, I don't want to keep missing out on all of the good parts. And, quite frankly, my hearts just not in the job anymore-hasn't been for some time."
Rick just looked at her, still somewhat stunned. He'd known that she'd retire one day but he hadn't anticipated it being now. "Are you sure?"
Kate gave a small but definitive nod. "Yeah, that's what I've been considering. The reason I became a cop to begin with? Well, we settled that a few years ago. But since Storm started middle school and you're not able to come into the precinct so much, since I took over the captaincy when Gates retired so I wouldn't be in the line of fire quite as much…well, it just isn't the same. Javi and Kevin will be leaving soon. Laine too.
I've stood for the victims for over a quarter of a century now, but there are good people, caring people, people I've trained, ready to take over. And they're good. They'll get it right Rick."
Rick took both of her hands gently in his, he wanted her to know that his next words came from love, not disparagement. "Kate, I love you, you know that but… I just don't see you sitting around the house waiting for the kids to come home. You'll go stir crazy and drive me insane along with you."
Kate grinned knowing he was right. "That's why I haven't really considered it until recently. Remember that co-ed case a few months back? A series of rape/homicides on several of the CUNY campuses?"
"Yeah."
"Well, after the one on the John Jay campus the dean of the criminal justice program told me to contact him if I ever wanted a job. So, I looked him up and we talked about the possibility of me teaching a couple, three, classes a week. He said I could set my times; so I was thinking I could maybe do a few classes while the kids were in school. I'd have something to do, would be out of your hair so you could write, and still be able to pretty much be off when the kids are. I don't know, but I think it could work."
"That sounds perfect." Rick grinned, his delighted facial expression declaring his opinion just as clearly as his words. In seconds his enthusiasm had him standing and sweeping Kate up into his arms, his lips crashing into hers. Kate wrapped her legs around his waist as he walked into the bedroom, tumbling the both of them into the privacy of their soft comfy bed.
/
Kate awoke to a room lit only by the warm glow coming from the small light burning on the night stand and Rick's fingers tracing soft patterns over her back and hips. She leaned into him and placed a kiss in the center of his chest, her lips melting into the warmth there, reveling in the taste of him, the beat of his heart.
"You're awake," he murmured.
"Mmmm," she hummed.
"You were right."
"About what?"
"When you said I might be pleased by what you were thinking. "
"You really think you're going to be able to stand having me around so much?"
"Seriously? I'm going to love it. You know, I've missed us spending so much time together this past year or so too. And even when I am able to come in, you're right, it's not the same. The precinct loses some of its vibrancy when you're enclosed in that little glass cage of an office rather than being out there where all the action is."
"If you had told me you wanted to be out there Castle I could have certainly moved your chair beside Espo or Ryan you know." Kate teased.
"It would have to have been Ryan's; Javi would have killed me before the day was half done."
"I can't understand why." Kate responded dryly.
Rick pulled her in closer and whispered into her ear. "Oh you know you love me, don't pretend otherwise."
"Oh, I'm not pretending, I do love you. But those first few months you were "shadowing" me? I truly had to talk myself down a time or two to prevent myself from strangling you."
"Oh come on now Beckett." Rick chuckled. "It's been years—you can admit it now. I know you fell in love with me the moment that we met."
"It's amazing you know…" Kate began.
"How much you loved me from the very beginning?"
"How you consistently manage to ignore reality in favor of fantasy." Kate smirked, continuing the mock argument they been enjoying for years.
Rick grinned, and pulled her in closer. "You are so hot when you smirk." He whispered.
"That does it for you huh?" She asked even though she knew it did.
"Yeah, the smirk, the way you bite your bottom lip. Back before we were together you used to drive me crazy biting that lip. I'd see those pearly whites scrape across that beautiful plump lip and nearly hyperventilate thinking about soothing it with my own lips, with my tongue. And now I can." He leaned in again, kissing her bottom lip tenderly, skimming his tongue along its surface, before deepening the kiss, his tongue delving into the deep hot recesses of her mouth. In moments her tongue was tangled with his. Moist heat sliding along moist heat. Ricks fingers delved into her hair, clutching a hand full of the silky strands in a loose grip as Kate clutched his biceps, the feel of his muscles moving beneath her slender fingers. After a few minutes they eased apart slightly, never having meant to build it to anything more than what they had in that moment; a love so strong that they just had to share it with one another for just a bit before they could move on other things. They cuddled quietly for a while, comfortable enough with each other to enjoy the easy silence. Kate was feeling lazy, letting herself drift in and out of a half doze, not wanting to get up but not yet quite ready to go to sleep for the night. Rick on the other hand was wide awake, his mind racing. He hated to disturb her, she so seldom allowed herself to relax like this but having admitted to being ready to talk about his Dad he was now impatient to have it out of the way, and so he broached the subject that had kept him tied in knots for the last month and a half.
"So, you've finished investing Agent Hunt?"
"Yeah, yesterday actually," Kate replied, her eyes still closed.
"And? What did you find?"
Kate opened her eyes and looked at him, then shook her head. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Rick I don't know how he did it but there is nothing that would lead anyone to believe that he wasn't blown to bits in that explosion. Hell, if I hadn't seen the man myself I would swear he was dead."
"There's nothing?"
"Nothing that I could find. And I used Javi and Kevin and Laine. I thought maybe I was treading too lightly, not really wanting to find anything, you know, because it was your Dad. So I pulled them in; they looked at it and said it was clean. So I got pissed. Pissed that someone could get something like that over on me. So I worked it again. Hard. And I still couldn't find anything. I even went so far to look into his past Rick; look into his enemies. Most of them are dead. Or in a prison somewhere, or just plain don't have power or capital any longer."
"So, there's no threat." Rick said somewhat grimly.
Kate shook her head again. "I didn't say that. We're not infallible. There could be something we didn't catch. And you know how it is. There could be someone who feels wronged we didn't even have a reason to look at."
"But in your opinion?"
"We're more at risk because of the cases we've worked than we are from anything your Dad has ever done."
"So, I have a decision to make. Can't just ease my conscience by saying his past made it too risky; I actually have to decide what I want?"
"Rick, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. You don't even have to make the decision right away. You can take your time."
"He's old Kate. Not making a decision soon would pretty much be making a decision," Rick said on a huff. He was quiet for a moment or two then confessed, "I've been thinking about it for the past six weeks and I still don't know what to do."
Kate skimmed her hand over his chest in gesture meant to comfort. "You know I'm behind you whatever you decide right?" She asked.
"I know." He smiled. Then his brow furrowed. "What do you think?"
"I can't tell you what to do Rick."
"I'm not asking you to tell me what to do, I'm just asking for a little input."
Kate pressed her lips together a little too tightly and her eyes became troubled, the way she wasn't saying anything made Rick sure she had something to say.
"What is Kate?"
"It's just something that I've been thinking about but it's not the same."
"What?"
"It doesn't matter. Like I said it's a different situation."
"Kate, I'm looking for anything here. Maybe it's not the same but maybe it will help."
"I just… I just keep thinking if I could have just one more day with my Mom, just one more hour…I'd want that. I'd cherish it. But I know it's not the same."
Rick kissed her temple and pulled her closer, "Maybe not, but I understand what you're saying," he said settling in. Kate could feel him relaxing and knowing that he'd be asleep in minutes let herself drift as well.
/
Rick stared at the clock on the wall across from his desk, watching second hand slowly make its way around and around. Marking off time. The kids were at school. Kate was at the precinct. He'd begged off, saying he needed to work on his next chapter, but he had yet to get his head straight enough to put pen to paper-or fingers to keyboard.
Then the minute hand clicked up to the twelve marking the ten o'clock hour; and as if had been waiting for just that minute Rick found his mind made up. He pulled the brown paper package out of his desk drawer, and slipped the book out of the package. He slowly opened the front cover and thumbed the number there into his cell phone.
"Hey, Dad. It's Rick."