Coda for "The Kid's are Alright". How do you deal with not really knowing?

A Little Left of Alright

Sam was startled out of his thoughts by the beeping of his cell phone. He turned quickly, searching for the device where he had thrown it on the bed, before grabbing it and checking the caller ID.

Dean.

"Hey."

"Hey."

Sam rubbed a hand over his face, trying to instill a level of calmness into his voice that he didn't really feel. The girl – correction, the demon – had left a while ago, but his nerves were still on edge and the last thing he needed was for his brother to go into protector mode and start wondering what was wrong. "How'd it go?"

Sam glanced at his watch, muttering an expletive under his breath as he noted the time. It had been hours since he'd gotten back to the motel… since he'd been confronted by… hell he didn't even know what her name was. Just Demon chick, he guessed. At least that was how he had begun to think of her.

After dropping the little bomb on him about his mom's friends and their fates, Sam had spent the better part of the afternoon tracking down the information about their deaths. All of them, everyone his mom had known, were all dead. And then… Demonchick… comes in and tells him that it was all because of him.

That was so not what he needed to hear.

Her promise to help him save Dean was the only reason he hadn't covered her in Holy water and exorcized her back to hell. He knew he shouldn't even think about trusting a demon, but he'd meant it when he'd said he was going to do whatever it takes to get his brother out of this deal. Even if it meant playing ball with a demon. This one did seem different, but Sam wasn't an idiot. He knew any dealings with demons could not end well. But if she could help Dean….

"Dean?"

"Huh?"

"How'd it go with Lisa?"

"Oh, yeah. It… um… okay. I'm… I kinda need a ride."

Something in Dean's voice made Sam sit up straighter on the bed. His brother didn't sound like he'd just gotten his greatest desires fulfilled by 'gumby girl'. As a matter of fact, he sounded a little…. lost.

"You still at Lisa's?"

"What? Um, no."

Sam frowned. The distracted one-word answers were not typical Dean responses. "Where exactly are you?"

A soft chuckle came through the line and Sam stood, his attention fully on his brother's voice. "Honestly, Sam? I have no friggin' clue."

"Wha- Dean, where are you?" Sam asked again slowly, aware of the concern creeping into his own voice.

He could almost hear the shrug through the phone. "Somewhere out in the boondocks." Dean explained, his voice changing in volume as if he was moving to look around his current location. "I just started walking. Guess I wasn't really paying attention."

Sam took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He'd known his brother was a little out of sorts about the very real possibility of Ben actually being his son. He just hoped that whatever had happened at Lisa's house after he'd left hadn't rocked the temporary equilibrium Dean had found after everything that had transpired in the last few weeks.

"Dean, how long have you been walking?"

"I don't know. A while."

Sam took another breath, knowing that getting upset with his brother at this point would certainly be counter productive, Dean did seem a little out of it, but he was obviously coherent if not a little bit confused.

"How long did you stay at Lisa's?"

"Not long. Half an hour."

Sam's eyebrows rose and he found himself checking his watch in surprise. "Dean, I dropped you off over four hours ago!"

"Really?" Dean's voice sounded genuinely surprised. "Huh. "

Exasperated with the way the conversation was going, Sam grabbed his jacket and the keys to the Impala and quickly made his way to the parking lot. "Do you at least know which direction you went?"

After a brief pause, no doubt to check his bearings, Dean answered. "East."

"You sure?"

"East, Sam." The response was a bit testy which, in a strange way, made Sam feel a little better. If Dean was bitching, he was okay.

"Okay," Sam stabbed the key into the ignition and brought the Chevy to life. "Don't move. I'm leaving now, just…." He wanted to tell his brother not to do anything else stupid, like flag down a car and try to get a ride, or start walking back and risk the chance of them missing each other in the encroaching darkness, but the lost tone of Dean's voice suddenly came back to him and he swallowed hard, simply hoping his brother was alright. "Dean, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Sam," came the weary reply. "Just hurry the hell up. I think I've got a blister."

Sam couldn't stop the snort of laughter that came through his nose and he shook his head in fond exasperation as he pulled the big car out onto the road. "I'll alert the E.R. Just stay put."

"Yeah, yeah. Step on it, Mario. I don't like the way this grasshopper is looking at me."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It took Sam close to 45 minutes to find his brother, who had propped himself against a small boulder a few yards off the roadside. Dean had removed his boot, obviously in deference to the blister he had complained about every time Sam had called him to get directions to his location.

Night was falling as Sam pulled the Impala to the shoulder of the road and leaned across the seat, eyeing his brother through the open passenger window.

"Just where the hell were you going?" he asked as Dean opened his eyes and gave him a cheeky grin.

Dean shrugged and pushed himself up. He grabbed his boot and limped over to the car, opening the door and settling himself onto the seat. "About time," he grumbled.

Sam shook his head. "It's not like you were giving explicit direction, dude. Turn left at the big tree was not exactly helpful."

Dean scrunched down in the seat and leaned his head back against the cool leather. "Sorry. I told you I wasn't really paying attention."

Sam's eyes narrowed as he ran a quick check of his brother. Besides the foot, it didn't look like there was anything physically wrong with him, so Sam decided whatever was wrong wasn't something he was going to be able to see.

"So…" Sam waited a moment, hoping his brother would explain himself. After a minute of silence had ticked by, it became apparent a little more prodding was needed. "Care to explain why you walked ten miles out of town instead of just heading to the motel?"

"I just needed some time to think, Sam."

"Think?" Sam turned his head back to the road, making a show of looking up and down the deserted blacktop. "You came all the way out here because you needed to think? What, you can't think within city limits anymore?"

Dean sighed, but didn't open his eyes. "Don't make a big deal about it, Sam. I just… never mind, huh? Let's just go back to the motel and get some sleep."

Sam frowned as he took in the dark circles under his brother's eyes. "Yeah, okay." He started the engine and carefully pulled the Impala into a U-turn, heading the car back toward their motel at the edge of town. After a few minutes of silence, Sam's curiosity got the better of him. "So, is he?"

"Huh?"

Sam could feel his brother's eyes on him and kept his face carefully schooled. "Ben. Is he, you know… yours?"

"No."

Sam turned at his brother's soft reply. Dean gave him a sad grin and shrugged a shoulder. "She said it was some guy in a biker bar. That I was off the hook." He looked down at his hands, a frown marring his face.

Sam nodded. "You believe her?"

"I guess," Dean answered. "I mean why would she lie, right?"

"Right."

Sam didn't quite know how to respond. He'd seen how concerned Dean was when he'd thought Ben was in danger. And he'd seen how much he'd cared about the kid when he'd relinquished the keys to the Impala so he could concentrate on the little boy as they drove him back home. Of course, Dean was always good with kids, but Sam had noticed a connection between his brother and the boy and had actually found himself hoping that maybe Ben was Dean's son. Maybe knowing he had something to lose would give his brother the reason he needed to keep fighting.

Sam knew that was probably pretty selfish, but there it was. He wanted his brother to live. It was as simple as that. If having a kid – even one that he didn't know about until eight years after the fact – would give Dean incentive, then Sam was all for it.

Besides, he'd been pretty excited himself with the idea of being an uncle.

Sam opened his mouth to give his brother some words of wisdom, but Dean cut him off.

"Just let it be, Sam. It's okay."

Sam swallowed at the hollowness of his brother's voice, but simply nodded in response, knowing that Dean needed to work it out for himself. Whether Ben was his son or not, Sam hoped that Dean had still found a reason to fight. Or he'd keep fighting for the both of them.

The End.